This is awesome. 
It is. I think being dyslexic has taught S24 that he learns best collaboratively, so he has to reach out. Plus, it’s made him humble, and more understanding of other people’s hurdles. I need to remember that his strengths are important even though they are intangible. It’s easy to lose sight of that when it seems like the most valued achievements in our community are the ones that can be measured, scored, ranked, awarded, and logged in the right slot on the Common App.
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Kudos to your kid for advocating for himself! I think one of my favorite parts of parenting this age is when they demonstrate that they’re capable human beings that can just handle stuff that, just a few years ago, would have required our intervention. I realize that this is the goal we’ve all (presumably) been working towards their whole lives, but it still takes me by surprise sometimes when I see that it has worked. It’s just so cool.
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Listened to the latest “Your College Bound Kid” podcast and there was some good nuggets of info in the last 30 min of the episode. Don’t remember who was being interviewed, but the guy’s advice included some great tips which stuck with me. Like:
- At some point before start of senior year, have the money talk with your kid so they know what the budget is per year for college costs.
- When you’re going on college tours and gathering info, don’t let YOUR questions as the parent overshadow the questions that your kid has. Because at the end of all this, it’s your kid who’s going to college, not you.
- Remember that when it comes time to make a decision, your kid’s favorite school might not be your favorite.
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This is where we are with S24 
DH and I (and even D26) have a clear favorite we LOVED. S24 has a clear favorite which we all agree is fine but our favorite has such a wonderful vibe we can’t figure out why S24 is stuck on his favorite. But like you said, he is the one who has to attend so we are really trying hard to restrain ourselves from talking about it.
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I’m right there with you on this. D24’s #1 is still U of A, whereas DH & I right now favor the 2 state schools in NM, Austin College, & Southwestern Univ over U of A…we feel those would be better fits for her than U of A. I think she’d be more successful at the other schools.
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DH was talking with a coworker yesterday whose son has graduated from HS last month. He applied to 1 college…our closest state university. And once he got his acceptance from there, he decided that he didn’t feel like going through the process of applying anywhere else. So he’s 1 and done and that’s where he’ll be attending this fall and he’s really happy about it.
I thought it was a good reality check to DH & I. You don’t HAVE to have a long list of 20 colleges that you’re going to apply to. If you’ve found a smaller list of places that are a “sure thing,” then just stick with that.
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My D20 did a complete 180 on what/where she wanted between September and April of Sr. year. Although I had a strong preference, I kept my commentary to a minimum, and let her know it was her choice as to what felt right. In the end, she chose the school that I hoped she would.
I’ll be doing the same with D24. I think it is so important for them to feel in control of the decision, to the point that they can be willing to go against their better judgement just to feel that the choice is theirs and not ours, kwim?
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My D20 applied to 3 schools, all EA. Once she had those acceptances in hand, she opted not to apply anywhere else. In addition to making the application process easier, it made the decision process a lot more simple, too.
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That’s interesting! I suspect that my D24’s preference might change between now and next April.
For example, I can already tell that her point of view/perspective about things in general has changed a little bit compared with 3 weeks ago. Now that the France trip is done and she’s been working for about a week at McDonald’s, she’s been doing a lot of growing up in the last month.
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D24 and I have been sitting down every weekend since she finished this academic year. We have been taking the schools she put on her list two at a time and going through all of the academic programs they offer. D24 is not quite sure what she wants to study, though she has some very strong ideas. So, it has very much been a “here’s what you can do at this school” type thing. What she has found is that some schools she was interested in, but not enthusiastic about have quite interesting and compelling programs for her. Others that she thought would be awesome schools either don’t have anything she is interested in, or the program is better or cheaper elsewhere. So, some schools have completely come off of the application list. Others (thankfully, the less expensive) have moved up. It sometimes helps showing them that there is a path “from here to there”. You just have to take it.
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I agree with this. My S23 who finished wth a 2.9 GPA applied to 5 schools, but probably did not need to apply to that many. I think my S24 might apply to maybe 3 and try to keep it simpler. I am excited to take him on some visits, though.
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I agree, there are people who do this. One of S24’s good friends did this, this year. Couldn’t be happier with their decision and there was so much less stress. We told S24 we would probably cap him at eight, but it will probably get down to four or five.
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D22 did one and done. And it was rolling admissions so she knew pretty early. It made for a very stress-free process and senior year. (It was such a safety that there was no doubt she would get in). She just finished freshman year and couldn’t be happier.
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Good news! D24 has an interview tomorrow afternoon at the bagel shop.
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Yay that is great to hear.
Bagel shop interview was a couple of days ago. She screwed up the interview. McDonald’s job wasn’t on her resume because she’d just started it a week prior, but she mentioned the job in the interview. And then when asked why she’s seeking a job elsewhere, she complained about the McDonald’s working conditions.
AND she was being interviewed by a middle-aged person AND D24’s hair, honestly, looks messy and unkempt most of the time because her bangs are way too long.
So she hasn’t heard back from them. Last night after her work shift ended, she asked permission from us to call in sick today. DH & I said no for obvious reasons. Cue then lots of crying & dramatics from the kid. And a long discussion between her and us about work life…how you’re not supposed to complain about prior or current employers in interviews (and why). How even though this is a Right To Work state and you CAN quit at any time with no advanced notice for no reason, you SHOULD give 2 weeks’ notice (and why).
How even though you don’t FEEL social or peppy, when you’re interviewing for the typical teenager part time job, you need to FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT and ACT social & outgoing & peppy & customer service-oriented.
She can quit McD’s once she has an offer in hand and a start date at another job.
Had she made any progress this past week in finding any other job leads elsewhere? No.
Ok, so what about working part time at a movie theater? There’s 2 of them 15 min drive from where we live. Oh, well THOSE were ‘out’ because ONE kid at her school worked at ONE theater not even close to us and he was asked to come in to work on days that he said he wasn’t available.
So we told her, “Then you must not want to NOT work at McD’s bad enough if you haven’t applied elsewhere.” So…she’s now applied to 2 movie theater jobs.
We also reminded her that by the end of the summer, she’ll have 2 full months of work experience at McD’s and then she can use that to add to her resume and reapply at In & Out and other places which might have passed on her before.
AND we reminded her that she will be expected to continue working part time during the school year (8-10 hr/week).
Tough love is hard. Sorry, kiddo, but you don’t get to throw in the towel just because you had a hard day. Sorry, kiddo, but you don’t get to “call in sick” during week 2 of your new job just because you don’t like the job…your uncle has done a lifetime of that at his job and guess what? He’s got a solid reputation at work of being lazy and of always trying to get out of doing stuff…and it’s so bad now that he’s at risk of getting fired AND every time he calls out sick, he has to provide a doctor’s note AND he has no useful transferrable job skills that would make it easier for him to transfer to another position other than the one he currently has.
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On a positive note, Thursday’s podcast episode of “Your College Bound Kid” is really great. Part of it talks about a news article in The NY Times or Washington Post where the main point is “you’ll still be a successful adult in life if you don’t go to an elite college/university.”
Thought that was good advice given some of the anxiety that students have here on CC about college admissions.
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I feel bad for her. Working fast food is exhausting manual labor (as the foot problems show), and I hope you’ve done it yourself so you know what she’s going through. I don’t know you and I’m sure you know your child, but I would have told her what to say in the bagel interview beforehand. Kids don’t know how to interview. I would only require a kid to work fast food if the family needed the money, or if the kid was spoiled and needed to be taught a lesson. And they could still get the lesson from manual labor at a food pantry.
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The year between junior and senior year S23 worked as a janitor. Totally sucky manual labor and it was the best thing to ever happen to him. I never would have “saved” him if he complained about it. Turns out he loved it though.
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