Parents of the class of '09, what were the oversights during the college process?

<p>It's a good time to tell us (still fresh in your mind).
It will help you pass the time ( for those waiting for April).
It could also be therapeutic. :)
How about oversights that could have cost your applicant a spot, or you money?</p>

<p>In retrospect, I may have been too discouraging about the competitiveness of admissions. That resulted in S2 only willing to apply to one auto admit school because he didn't want to play the game, at least as it was presented. If I wanted his cooperation, I would have needed to make and keep the process fun on some level.</p>

<p>He is delighted with his choice and I think it is a great fit for him, but I would have felt better if he had four or five options and then chose that school rather than refusing to compete at all.</p>

<p>Daughter got mono in July and never retook the SAT after June. We pushed very hard for a retake, but with all she was doing and involved in, she felt she had to focus on studies and duties over practicing for a retake. She was happy with her scores. Then, at Christmas, she admitted it was a huge mistake and might have cost her the ability to go to her stretch school. I didn't say "I told you so" but it was a frustrating feeling. The fact is, she has probably had a shot at her stretch school with some practice and a retake.....live and learn.</p>

<p>Hmmm. Good question.</p>

<p>It's hard to identify the mistakes, as it is a bit early. But I'll give it a shot.</p>

<p>MISTAKE NUMBER ONE. I failed to shift education money away from stocks as my oldest child aged. When things tanked in September, we lost 40% of the money we saved for college. This will not be fatal, as I had been stockpiling cash, but it could have been. Also, we started saving rather late, so the college account was laughably small and we knew we couldn't rely on it to pay much of anything anyway.</p>

<p>MISTAKE NUMBER TWO. We spent too much time and energy banging our heads against the SAT wall. We hired a private tutor (which was a great decision). She took the SAT. Then she took it again. Then she took an SAT II. Then she took another. Only then did she take the ACT, and she improved her performance a lot over the SAT. Alas, by then it was too late to re-take the ACT and see if she could nudge up the score a bit. I now wish we had done the SAT, then the ACT and then evaluated which held more upside for her for a re-take.</p>

<p>MISTAKE NUMBER THREE. We visited 18 schools from January '08 to July '08. I am glad we visited so many because her preferences changed a lot. And it was fun and wonderful bonding. I now wish we had started doing this in her junior year. It felt very rushed to try to do it in senior year, and she was very busy.</p>

<p>If I think of more mistakes, I'll 'fess up later . . .</p>

<p>My D is class of 2010 rather 2009, but I already made a big mistake....failing to understand how financial aid works in the case of divorce and remarriage, which affects the equation greatly. As a result, we started looking at schools that gave no merit aid thinking we would somehow be able to afford it. That being said, now that we have been set straight, I am glad that she is a junior so we have plenty of time to identify schools where she has a chance for merit aid as well as feel comfortable attending.</p>

<p>Thank you for all the replies.
I hope the parents of the class of '10 are taking notes.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Son's SATII math grade was pretty bad. He took it on the June date - right after finals and on a day when he was otherwise quite busy. We asked his Pre-Calc teacher if she thought he was ready and she said sure, so he did no prep. A waste of time and money.</p></li>
<li><p>I didn't even know there were such things as SATIIs until I started reading this board last year. He could have taken the SATII in World History in 10th grade when he was taking the AP exam in the subject, but I didn't know about it.</p></li>
<li><p>Assume your child's class rank will go down, not up. Son's numerical ranking has stayed remarkably consistent all through high school. However, with student attrition, he dropped five percentage points (which cost a few thousand in merit aid.) Remember, other than the couple of good students who graduate early, most of the people who drop out will be below your child in rank, not above. It's very very easy for the top 15% to become the top 20% by senior year.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>With my DD who is now a graduate student, this board was in it's infancy, we were too influenced by the 'prestige whores' who were hyping all the wrong places. </p>

<p>We did not understand whether our situation would be better served by FM or IM financial aid, picked the wrong one and had only 1 real choice for DD, the financial safety. This was before many of the new programs which limit the percentage of home equity so our HE counted against us. Determine your best bet for aid and pursue it.</p>

<p>We also were too caught up in the need to do what 'everybody; told us to do, just like the poor saps who have purchased homes for 100% financing with an ARM and are now out of luck. We did not know how to guide DD to find the best fit.</p>

<p>We were blessed as this site grew and D2 & D3 had wonderful options that were as affordable as we could find.</p>

<p>Not an oversight, but the student should only do ECs that they love. If they don't love it, don't do it just to put on an application.</p>

<p>It's amazing the lack of room they give you on some of the application forms....four years of drill team practice 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, plus competitions, plus camp, plus practice out in the 105 degree August sun is reduced to "drill team 9, 10, 11, 12."</p>

<p>missypie -- I had the same feeling about listing ECs on the common app -- these few lines are supposed to represent my daughter's passions? Was she supposed to write about them all somewhere in her essays to explain them?</p>

<p>


Same here. CC was destructive in this way, and I'm glad that geek_son doesn't hang out here. I think I put him through unnecessary stress; his first-choice school was a perfect match for his interests, personality, and stats, but I pushed him hard on safeties and lesser matches he really wasn't very interested in. I wish I'd expressed more confidence in him and not tried so hard to downplay his chances to avoid potential disappointment. Of course he was admitted to the first-choice school ED; it's where he belongs, and he knew that all along. All that stress was for nothing.</p>

<p>Regarding tests, I signed him up for two SAT I administrations within a couple months. He was burned out and exhausted because of all the other things happening in his life at the time. He didn't need a retake. Dumb of me. Smarter was when, facing a similar situation this Fall, I told him it might be better to put off taking a subject test when he found out he'd have to self-study for it. He took that one the following month and got the score he needed. Also smart: Having him start his testing in sophomore year, so he got used to taking tests and could spread them out over time.</p>

<p>I briefly got caught up in the financial aid thing, which was silly because I'd managed to save for geek_son's education. It's still unjust imho to double- and triple-tax those who worked/scrimped/saved over the years in order to pay the way for those who didn't, but it's not worth even lightly considering the dishonest tricks some folks have discussed on CC. OTOH, I wish I'd gotten him started on the merit scholarship search two years ago. And I wish we hadn't missed the Coca-Cola deadline by a few hours, when the darned thing had been filled out since September and was just waiting for a click of the Submit button.</p>

<p>I'm glad we made a summer road trip and visited several colleges, even though most of them didn't make geek_son's cut. I'm not glad I scheduled a 5am flight to try to make a campus tour. I'm glad we visited more than just his first-choice college, and visited that one twice, because what started out as his first choice ended up as his second choice after a second round of visits -- and he ended up not even applying there.</p>

<p>I wish I'd encouraged geek_son to keep a personal journal or blog when he was younger, so he'd be more accustomed to banging out 500 words on any topic he has thoughts on. Writing is so important to the process and is probably the most ambiguous and the most painful part for many students.</p>

<p>And I really, really wish I had gone to the administration when a teacher in freshman year told me outright (!) that he graded geek<em>son more harshly than other students in the class because geek</em>son was capable of more than the rest of them and needed extra motivation. The teacher is a fine gentleman and a great role model; however, this was inappropriate and unacceptable and demotivating, and could make the difference between Val and Sal status. "His class, his rules" was not the best attitude for me to take as my son's advocate.</p>

<p>Everything worked out ok -- quite well, actually. Things I'd been hesitant about letting geek_son spend his time on turned out to be a core part of who he became, even a powerful piece of his application package. And that's one thing I learned from the process: If you just let your kid develop his own interests, personality, and record over the years, then help him look for the colleges that appeal to him, he will be perfectly positioned for colleges that are perfect for him. It's not about grooming your kid for specific colleges or even "Tiers." It's about watching this amazing individual grow... encouraging him throughout his childhood... placing challenges and opportunities before him and following his lead... and then helping him find the place that will be best for the unique individual he's become.</p>

<p>And, of course, placing occasional limits on the video games. :D</p>

<p>Two mantras from the '09 thread:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>** It is what it is.** When you get to application time, that C in math from freshman year is going to be on his transcript. Your child earned it. What will colleges think? That he had a hard time in math freshman year. It is what it is.</p></li>
<li><p>Love the kid on the couch, not the kid you wish you had. Just learn to repeat that over and over and over again. Love the kid on the couch, love the kid on the couch....</p></li>
</ol>

<p>One of the oversights we had came with the Common App. Encourage your son or daughter to read carefully all that is required with the supplements. Some are very basic and just want name, address, phone. Some want three and four additional essays, and if your kid is stressed with APs, ECs, part-time job, college visits, SAT/ACT and lots of other things, they do not need to add more work to the application process.</p>

<p>My husband also said that one should own a house. Do not have stock. We live in an area where it is way too expensive to purchase a home, but we have some stock. Stocks and bonds are wonderful, but they do count against you with FAFSA. No one asks about your home. So your EFC might be higher than you thought it would be.</p>

<p>I totally agree about the supplements. One school that was put on the list at the last minute, that we hadn't even visited, had a supplement that asked, on four different questions, in four different ways, "Why do you want to go here?" Son really didn't have a good answer, much less four answers, so he didn't apply.</p>

<p>Also look at teacher rec requirements. That same school required the teacher rec to be from an academic class (quite common) from 11th or 12th grade. At that point, he'd had his 12th grade teachers for just a couple of weeks. The teacher he'd lined up to write his letter was from 10th grade. Another reason not to apply to that school.</p>

<p>As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, lots of schools want the teacher rec to be from a core/academic class. Lots of kids form their tightest bonds with band or choir teachers or coaches...that won't do for many schools.</p>

<p>We live on the West Coast and stupidly scheduled morning interviews at schools on the East Coast, forgetting that the three hour time difference makes a 9am meeting feel like 6am.</p>

<p>MISTAKE NUMBER FOUR. The whole essay-writing process was a mess. </p>

<p>D procrastinated (no surprise). Then, a few days before essays for an EA school were due, she presented us with her essays. My husband and I were taken aback. We thought they were quite poor. They were so blah. They could have been written by any kid in the country for any school in the country. The three of us worked on them and got them . . . well, got them into passable shape. </p>

<p>Later, when more essays were due, we started nagging, fearing a repeat of the previous debacle. Sure enough, D started complaining that she didn't know what to write, and her draft for one very short "What makes you unique?" essay was not good. I kept telling her that she was over-thinking it, that it was OK to be herself.</p>

<p>Finally, I threw up my hands, marched over to the computer, and wrote an essay. Not her essay. <em>My</em> essay. I sat down and wrote a college essay for myself, about what makes me unique. I worked as fast as I could and completed it in about four minutes. It was three paragraphs. It had a catchy first sentence and a cute close. Then I had my husband do the same thing, for himself. </p>

<p>Now, neither of these essays we wrote would win awards. But they were short, and they said something specific and a little bit quirky about ourselves. And it hadn't taken us weeks to do them.</p>

<p>That did it. She realized that the essay didn't require some piece of poetry or lofty prose. It required her to talk about her in a genuine, interesting way. She wrote an essay about why she likes ceramics, how the clay feels in her hands, what inspires her pieces. The essay needed almost no editing, and it was great.</p>

<p>Sometimes it is better to show them than to tell them.</p>

<p>Cindy -- whose essay was about how she is frequently mistaken for a man over the telephone because of her deep voice, and whose husband's essay was about how he is always the last one to finish anything because he works so slowly</p>

<p>Son has taken a lot of weighted AP and pre-AP classes and has gotten lots of Bs in them. It wasn't until college visits the summer before senior year that some schools mentioned that they ignored all weighting and looked only at unweighted grades. Don't know if having that knowledge earlier would have changed anything, but it was a stunner to think of a 3.8 sliding to barely a 3.0.</p>

<p>If you have a super busy student get them to start essays in the summer. We held our D's under house arrest at the end of summer until they had a few ready to go. Once school started they had no time with fall, winter and spring sports and AP classes. EVERYONE of these kids are busy and stressed. Help them see how much better it is to be prepared!</p>

<p>Missypie...our school does not weight but we have a friend who got burned by her Bs in AP classes. Madison advisor said she would have been better off getting the As in regular math classes.</p>

<p>my D took the SAT and ACT too many times , 4 times! (without great improvement!) we regret it!</p>

<p>
[quote]
Missypie...our school does not weight but we have a friend who got burned by her Bs in AP classes. Madison advisor said she would have been better off getting the As in regular math classes.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Two schools did comment that they were impressed by the rigor of Son's HS classes...so even the Bs in the APs had value. However, when I'd look at the merit aid charts for schools and see that the top 20% got $X and the top 25% got $X-2, it would have been nice to trade out some of those 84s in AP classes for 98s in regular, to bump him up a notch or two in the class rank.</p>