<p>Remember this a race not a sprint—my favorite thing to say to myself did you love them yesterday and think yup and you will love them tomorrow.
FYI my husband didn’t start college until we were married and he started at the community college BUT within 6 years he recieved his PHD. The difference as he would like to say “I finally was mature to know what I didn’t know.”
Remember they will bloom where they are planted!!!</p>
<p>Of course you guys are right and I just need to exhale a bit. I just think of how upset he was with the first result that I dont want him to suffer that feeling again. The tutor also said in the beginning that he may have to take the September test as well to make the last hump. I just don’t want him to be one of those kids who test over and over becoming miserable in the process. He took the SAT in May but we didn’t send the scores out. More of a let’s just see kinda thing. He probably won’t take it again so he can focus on the ACT. </p>
<p>@slackermom. What are directional schools?</p>
<p>I believe there are the flagship schools - say, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Then there are the lesser state universities. Usually, the lesser schools have a name with a compass direction (north, south, east, west) attached such as North Colorado State, University of Central Florida, or Northern Illinois University,. Hence, the name “directional”. I also include any public state university that is not the flagship. In North Carolina, you really can’t have University of East North Carolina; instead, you have University of North Carolina, Wilmington - so in some states, they use the name of a city instead of direction. (I realize there’s an East Carolina University that’s in North Carolina but ignore that one.)</p>
<p>I hope that made sense.</p>
<p>Thanks @SlackerMomMD, I was wondering too. :)</p>
<p>@slackermomMD I just posted on '15 board about wanting info on Berry College…after going through the site I thought about your D.
It’s in the South and the campus and student body maybe the right size?
Can’t pm you because my phone is crazy just like my brain right now </p>
<p>@Hoosier96 - I had a classmate in my master’s program who went there undergrad (he was from Rome, Ga). Very smart and thoughtful guy. It’s the right size, in the mountains with 26,000 acres - that’s a definite plus for D. I need to add it to the list, thanks! </p>
<p>I think the only reason I would take it off would be if there was a strong religious affiliation.</p>
<p>@slackermomMD Got it. Thanks!</p>
<p>@SlackerMomMD – lol, can’t really ignore ECU since my brother-in-law is a dean there, but I don’t imagine D15 will be applying there</p>
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<p>Hugs to you. I can definitely relate. It is hard to watch our kids suffer. Here is a great article to share with all the moms and especially with the moms with boy(s) :)</p>
<p>(warning: have tissues ready)</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/columnists/gordon-keith/20140508-gordon-keith-shell-of-a-former-self.ece”>http://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/columnists/gordon-keith/20140508-gordon-keith-shell-of-a-former-self.ece</a></p>
<p>@Sunnydayfun: Thank you so much for that article. I just read it this morning and it was very meaningful, especially the day after mothers day (I have 2 boys). I loved the one sentence about good mothers vs. bad mothers…and how many of us are constantly wondering and thinking about things we’ve done wrong, should have done better or differently, how did that impact our children…etc. etc. (it’s nice to think that this man considers us “good” mothers.) </p>
<p>@momincypress: I know what you mean. Our 400 home neighborhood is just unusually full of extremely bright kids…the top 25 of their classes of 800. And here is my son…just a 3.1 and his SAT’s aren’t even 1000 (M,CR). I see on his face the unspoken words “why am I not smart?”. When i talk to him now about school or his scores, I am very “matter of fact”. I tell him that the tests are made to be tricky and some people just don’t excel at that…but just because some do, doesn’t mean they will be succesful in life. Research shows that people who do well in jobs, get promotions, etc…are those that work hard AND get along well with people (which he does). He has people smarts, and I continue to remind him of that. I remind him of all his positive traits (we all love to hear those things, don’t we? But they REALLY need it at this age, and with all they are going thru). You can see him sort of sit up straighter when I tell him how I admire him. That even with a couple of low grades this semester, how he is consistent and persistent in not giving up. I tell him that “oh well, the SAT is what it is and doesn’t tell who you are…just how you did on this one test”. I do see a certain lifting of the spirit that if Mom doesn’t take it so seriously, then maybe he doesn’t have to be so anxious. Now…I sat and studied Math with him about 30 hours the month before the 2nd SAT…so we aren’t slackers and I won’t accept that excuse from him. But when it’s over, he just needs to move one. </p>
<p>I guess that is my point. Hurt for your son…god knows I do. But don’t let them see it. Give him strength, let him see that and your attitude that life just moves on and he will move on quicker. </p>
<p>@conmama-My H commented on good mom vs. bad mom after he read the article. He thinks it is so true as far as my mother-in-law goes. She does not understand (or does not want to know) why my H’s siblings do not call or come to see her. She always says “I am a good mother”.</p>
<p>Well the year is winding down and D is finally showing stress that is not healthy.
Can’t take mental health day because “physic test”.
Finals loom and grades are very good so hopefully if anxiety kicks in on finals and she tanks them at least she is going in on a strong footing, so end fine</p>
<p>@hoosier96, can your daughter take a mental health hour, if not a whole day? Run, bike, do something to relieve the stress a bit? In grad school, a bunch of us found riding for an hour (10-15 miles) helped a lot. I also played my flute (badly but who cares? no roommates) in 15 minute stretches when I studied for comps.</p>
<p>It sounds she’s doing well despite the pressure.</p>
<p>Boy, did I want to strangle the college counselor at H.S. yesterday. DS won’t be getting into the flagship school, that’s pretty much a given. I mentioned that we would be taking a tour of the directional school in the fall, and she smiled and said, “that’s wonderful…XXX is a great place and doesn’t deserve the reputation it has of being the school kids have to go to because they can’t get into anyplace else”. EXCUSE ME? Did you really just say that? Did you just see the look on my son’s face because that’s the first he’s EVER heard that (it’s sort of true, but we didn’t want him to know that right now). I’d like him to have a tour without being prejudiced or at least hear that verbalized! Great…thanks! Can you tell I’m irritated?</p>
<p>@conmama hugs to you. Your goal is to get you son to the next step in life…whether it’s school, service or employment and you are doing this. Remember it only matters to him and you where his next step in life may be.<br>
My D had a rough first two years of school and is killing it this year…maybe to late for elite schools but never to late for going for her goal.
There are 3,000 schools out there and they must be doing something right or they would have been closed already!
My favorite line is THEY WILL BLOOM wherever they are planted!!!</p>
<p>Sound like your GC really doesn’t know much out side her limited bubble. So keep doing what you are doing; working the plan for your son and it will work out in the end.</p>
<p>Thanks Hoosier…honestly she was quite unhelpful with any suggestions for a student like mine. With a school this size, you would think she’s have all sorts of options and opinions to share with us my type of student. The only good thing is she was able to answer some questions that I had, but that was about it. I think that when this is all finally done and decided…and he is away from H.S., you’re right…he will bloom. He actually likes H.S., has lots of friends and is involved, so it’s not like he wants away from it. But I think it might be a bit of a relief to not feel like the “less smart” one around his friends. I know he does, although he doesn’t verbalize it. I feel for him…but somehow he keeps those spirits up. His personality will sustain him more than he knows through life. It is his biggest asset for the future. Just need to help him find something to do where that works to his advantage.</p>
<p>@momincypress, are you talking about the February ACT test or April? My twin sons took the April test and I believe we still have to wait a bit, no? Anyway, I hear all of you with the stress of grades/scores.</p>
<p>My one son wants to attend Bowling Green State U for digital arts. Getting in is not going to be a problem (it’s not a terribly competitive school), but the money is huge for us, especially with twins. At BGSU, if you have a 3.04 GPA and a 26 ACT you will get the OOS surcharge waived. His GPA is 3.1 and he got a 25 in February. Praying to God he improved by a point. It will save us $4,000.</p>
<p>My other son has EXACTLY a 3.00 GPA through 5 semesters and looking at his grades now it appears he will stay right there. But if one slips, his cum GPA drops into the 2s which may sink his chances to get into UWSP. </p>
<p>It’s KILLLING ME!</p>
<p>I also can completely relate to our boys being surrounded by high-achieving “smarter” kids. It seems every parent I talk to has a kid with a much higher GPA, and all I can think is, “I wish”. These kids are looking at colleges like Purdue, UIUC, Wisconsin-Madison. I wish I could give my sons the Big Ten experience I had, but unless your scores are WAY higher, the cost is just too prohibitive anymore.</p>
<p>1982 IU grad myself. I know what you mean about the Big 10. I only live a little more than an hour away, and have been there on a semi-regular basis. More so when the kids were smaller…bball tickets, football tickets, tailgaiting. We’d celebrated DH’s 50th birthday at Nick’s, we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary there. My kids grew up thinking both of them would go to IU! My first couldn’t get in and how his brother. It kills all of us, believe me! The sad thing is…it wouldn’t have even been an issue 15 years ago. But the state is only giving them 40% of their needed operating budget…they need the OOS students to keep running. So, for the instate students it has become extremely competitive. However, like I always tell them…if you really want to go to IU…you can. Just get good grades that freshman year, then transfer. I never said that again after DS1 went to his non-flagship, but decent school as i didn’t want him to think we thought it bad. </p>