I know, I know. @HappyFace2018 I’ve seen similar things and heard so many stories. It’s truly eye opening and shocking.
I bought S’s Thanksgiving tickets back in June. The only options from St. Louis are Southwest and American (which was US Air when D went was a student). Have not been happy with the switch to American. Every flight I have made for my D to come home from WI on American has been change by them. And they just changed our flights to St. Louis for parents’ weekend. Not a big deal for us but the changes for my D have forced her to take an extra half day off of work each time. A friend told me a few days ago that American changed her flights for an upcoming long weekend in Charleston and messed up their schedule. USAir never did this. I will usually try to book S home on Southwest but he is flying American for Thanksgiving as their flight was $150 cheaper. It is still an expensive weekend to fly but it is D’s birthday so I will always bring them home then.
Our sharing of our finances with our sweet girl was born out of necessity. In my capacity as a federal law enforcement officer, the likelihood of an untimely government shutdown or death is a little higher. Even though a lot of parents attempt to shield their kids from the finance ups and downs of the family budget kids can pickup on impending financial tensions. In making the decision to send our sweet girl to private high school we discussed with her the give and take that had to happen to make it happen (like going down to a one car family and her giving up getting a car when she got her license). As we moved through high school and faced one government shutdown and several threatened shutdowns, we assured her that we were financially prepared to weather that storm. When the job of just being a law enforcement officer got tougher we assured her that momma has taken all necessary precautions including drafting a Will and obtaining life insurance to take care of she and my hubby. Long before she was accepted to GW, we sat down, as a family, to discuss the finances of the decision over the long term (to include graduate school and/or law school). Much of this comes from the fact that she’s an only child so if something happens to both of us she’s gotta know what is what. She also appreciates, so much more, the sacrifices we have made to allow her to take part in numerous activities and attend GW.
I have several friends that say they would never share their finances with their children.
One thing I am not liking about D’s school is that her dorm closes for every break - she has a final on 12/16 and needs to be out of the dorm by 10pm that day! I wish I had more than a four or five hour window to schedule the flight, but it looks like she will just be able to make the last Southwest flight out of Denver.
I did purchase the Thanksgiving tickets a while back and have seen the prices occasionally go down since then, so I need to stop looking at November prices. I really wish we could swing a visit out there during parents’ weekend next month (S19 even has a long weekend that coincides), but it’s not going to happen.
Not sure if SW has changed their policies, but they used to have no-penalty cancellation policy. If you canceled your flights they would not refund the money to you but instead issue a credit that could be used within a year of the initial purchase of the flight tickets. One time we purchased flights to Orlando that went on sale and later dropped to almost 1/2 the original purchase price. We also had a trip planned later in the year to the west coast. So, I cancelled the flights to Orlando and re-purchased at the lower rate. I then used the credit to purchase tickets to California. This policy is also great in case there is a possibility that travel plans/ dates might change as it protects you from losing money from change fees- provided you have additional travel plans sometime in the next year.
I would think this policy might be helpful to your D (if SW still has it) since I would assume she will travel more than once a year. However, it might have limited benefit for Thanksgiving since so many people travel that weekend and I think air flight prices would probably be at their highest for that weekend.
Thanks @momofsmartdancer - I always buy the “wanna get away” tickets and I think I just assumed that I’m stuck with those. I guess I should take a closer look at the cancellation and credit policies since I’ll be purchasing a lot of flights to Denver in the next couple of years.
I would encourage all of you to check on the dorm closure deadline for breaks (as @eh1234 mentioned).
Both of my kiddos dorms close the day AFTER the last final, one at noon and the other at 5:00 p.m. Also, check when the dorms open back up in January - I did not do that for S16 and got him a flight back for second semester a day too early. It was a cheap ticket, so I thought I could just have him stay in a hotel overnight and head for his college the next day. Come to find out that in Massachusetts you have to be 21 to stay in a hotel by yourself - I was so surprised by this! I had no choice but to change his flight to the following day - it was almost $200 more - but at least Southwest doesn’t have a penalty for changes.
You can make changes on SW, even with the cheap seats! Wish I would’ve known my D’s class schedule back in June when sale flights were only $49 each way. And, @eh1234, when I buy non Southwest flights, I have to stop looking at prices. I have to have the conversation with myself of ‘you were happy with the price when you bought them.’ I’m not always successful. 
I need to send something to my D before parent’s weekend. It’s small, so now the dilemma is whether to send it by itself, or find other stuff (or bake) to fill up a flat rate box. For whatever reason, even those small padded envelopes seem to cost quite a bit to mail.
S called yesterday. Was really nice talking to him. It looks like they have a good group of kids from the floor and they are having a lot of fun. One of them had a birthday and S went out to the nearest grocery store, bought all the necessary stuff and baked her a cake 
He and some of the others got her breakfast, decorated her room with balloons and tried really hard to make her first birthday away from home special !
He applied for a few clubs - didn’t get into one that he badly wanted. But is dealing with the disappointment. He said classes were pretty good - he’s enjoying his foreign language class which is a small class as opposed to the other introductory classes that have 200 kids!
I asked him about thanksgiving - it looks like he can get away on Tuesday night. So, am looking to book a flight for Tuesday night. I bought a return ticket for Sunday morning a while ago - it’s so hard to get those at a reasonable price.
He’s supposed to confirm his xmas break timings after he checks his exam schedule.
That’s so nice of your S and his friends! I’m sure the girl appreciated it. @arisamp
Our update from S16 this past weekend was of him and a friend ordering takeout at 11 pm last Friday.Surprisingly, it was his first time ordering food to campus. Sounds like they’d all just finished a big lab report/project.
Then this morning, was the first picture in a sweatshirt as they had temps in the 40s this morning.
I firmly believe that there are many many students that make “stupid” decisions that are capable of keeping it together, graduate and move on to being productive contributing members of society.
Woo-hoo. We get our first weekly call from D16 tonight. Hope it’s a good one.
Good luck @dyiu13
Mondays are my days off, and I used to spend them doing my errands for the week as the rest was spent on being D’s person livery service. Today I was too, in a way-she asked me to take her ACT/SAT study books down to her HS for two of her senior friends. While there I asked about volunteering, and as of next week I will be helping in the office or wherever else needed on Monday mornings! I love that school and all the work they do with the kids, and I am happy to give back.
I’m also helping D research options for her good friend who will be applying to college this year. He’s got a complicated history-former foster kid-and hopefully his “village” can help him find the resources he needs. D, of course, is encouraging him, making suggestions, sending him links, because that’s how she rolls.
@dyiu13 good luck with the phone call.
@labegg my two older kids are living proof that common sense does in fact return to kids once they are older. I’m hoping D16 skips the lack of common sense period entirely. The other two were enough.
I was surprised to be approached last Friday night at the school football game by two of my D16’s friends who are graduating in 2017. They asked if they could come over and work on their college applications with me.
I hung out with people tonight so that was cool. No I didn’t do anything stupid/ dangerous, we just talked but it was so much better than just sitting on my phone listening to my roommate stress out. I like her but she stresses out about everything and sometimes that stress starts stressing me out. It’s been really good for me to develop friends that she automatically won’t become friends with too because it is stressful to deal with clingy people.
@labegg I’m certain you are correct in your belief…but for her…seeing those actions in real time was a little jarring. I grew up in a family of alcoholics and have discussed my experiences with her (including being involved in a very serious accident while my father was behind the wheel with us young kids in the car).
She understands that we all make mistakes and we are not the sum of those mistakes but…those mistakes can have lasting consequences even as we go on to become productive members of society.
Ick. I really hate this constructed once-a-week phone call thing my D16 has set up. It doesn’t feel natural and the communication feels overwhelming. Basically this was the first call since drop-off, and everything had built up that DH and I wanted to discuss with her. We immediately parked the whole issue about her personal safety. Fine. I think she knows our opinion (and that’s an understatement). We planned to discuss her POV in person.
But we did wind up asking her so, so much about her academics, LD accommodations and supports, prep for her future jobs, current instructors and courses, and academic planning. Plus a bit about dorm food, very late student group meetings, her typical daily schedule.
It really wasn’t pleasant. Dad was is a bad mood anyway about our community’s schools issue, and then he was none too pleased to hear D16’s feedback about her reportedly lackluster freshman courses.
Apparently only her small honors seminar is engaging and stimulating. All the rest are boring repeats of HS material, even the foundation course in her major. Lectures by teachers just regurgitating the textbook, which is full of familiar, redundant content for her, she says. And, on top of it, she has to spend huge amount of energy completing accommodation forms for each quiz and test for almost all of her courses (save the two that require papers mainly). Relentlessly collecting 8 signatures seven days prior, etc., each week for usually four courses. (This endless process couldn’t be automated with a workflow system?!) Big demands on executive function, organization, attention, and just plain time – all things where she already has deficits.
Yes, I’m disappointed for her. DH and I recall our stunningly rewarding freshman academic experiences, so D16’s report is so sad to hear.
We didn’t get much time to chat about the social life at school, but she mentioned that she’s enjoying it, even if she’s not feeling much connection with her roommate and suite-mates.
She sounded enthusiastic about some floor-mates. It seems like she is putting her energy into things outside of classes to balance the “meh” courses. She just set up training to become a certified instructor in her sport, opening the door to a good summer job. She’s figuring how to benefit from tutoring, which might take a while, it sounds. She took on a pet-sitting gig. She’s working out a bit. She might join a study group.
Still, the call felt stressed and urgent with a negative vibe, created by Dad and Mom. Next week, I’m not going to talk with her about anything of substance. Just shoot the breeze, now that the “first call” is out of the way (and not fun for anyone).
Oh, well. It is what it is.
DS has asked if he can come home for the weekend in a couple of weeks. I told him maybe and got him looking at some options (finding a ride to share, Zipcar, parents driving round trip, etc). I am trying not to read anything in to it and just hear him out. If he puts work into it, I’ll know he really needs a campus break. If he doesn’t it was a passing bit of homesickness. We will see.