@“AreWeThereYet@2020” If you are funding college, I do not think it is unreasonable to request that a minimum GPA be maintained and if there was some precipitating events this year that would warrant it, again that seems reasonable. For my family the min GPA might be a 2.5 not a 3.0.
My H and I disagreed on this topic. I would have been ready to stand firm and not send our D back, but he was afraid she would never go back. So she continued on and did eventually do better. And we weren’t talking about anything near a 3.0.
DS knows the scholarship has to be maintained, so got help with setting the minimum GPA.
Same here @Cheeringsection
He did so well in highschool so we never thought he would be under a 3.0 his first year. I know it’s so much difference but was a little jarring. Made my stomach hurt because you can’t get a decent government job without a 3.0 nowadays. He received a substantial scholarship. While the university would like the student to maintain a 3.0, they only require a 2.0 for “satisfactory academic performance” to keep the scholarship. He was also able to get a paid internship in his field this summer and is doing very well. He’s said he completely understands and is looking forward to doing really well. He said he feels fortunate that he has three more years to do better.
@“AreWeThereYet@2020”
We usually go the way of natural consequences and we give our kids a lot of rope, so to speak. Both H & I were on our own at a relatively young age, so that might have something to do with our approach.
I can certainly understand your disappointment in his freshman year GPA in contrast to HS. It seems most people mature and harness internal motivation, & learn to navigate the distractions of life. There are many paths to success!
It wouldn’t be my first choice to issue an ultimatum about GPA & ability to return to school (see above about natural consequences), although please don’t take that as a criticism of your decision! Frankly, I wouldn’t welcome having the kid bounce back home.
I would recommend a therapist! Even without overt signs of depression or anxiety or substance abuse, it can be a great gift to a young person to give them the resources to talk out their concerns, worries, and problems with a skilled therapist. Kids can tell the therapist things they would never tell us, and can hear things from the therapist they probably cannot hear from us.
Good therapists will teach important life skills for managing strong emotions and living a life with purpose and goals.
Good luck!
So now this is interesting…he just received Work Study and an additional scholarship. Very very thankful but was wondering how. Evidently one of his professors was so impressed with his writing/analytical and debating ability that she recommended him. We are taking a deep breath. To see the look on his face when he checked his account…the confidence and energy it gave him made us all cry with joy for/with him. This will be a very different year…we can all feel it.
Sometimes there are departmental scholarships. And maybe need based ones. Since he qualified for work study that might be a possibility.
Anyways, it’s great for him! Hoping he will regain his footing this year.
Was looking forward to son being home for summer. Then, at the 11th hour, he was offered a summer research opportunity that he eagerly accepted. But, he’s coming home TODAY for a few days to celebrate the 4th of July. Internship will be over late Aug, then he’ll be home again for a month before the start of fall semester in late Sept. He’s thriving in college. Nice.
DD returned to campus where she will be staying for the next two month before the school starts. She likes company she is interning at. At night she does the same type of work for a student support organization on campus she got involved with recently. She seems to be happy, but most likely I will not see her until the winter break because she will be helping with new student’s events those few days between the end of the summer and beginning of the school year.
DS is spending next week at the beach with GF’s family. I was a little surprised that they invited him (in December) long before I had started even planning summer but the timing works great for him and his summer job–it is exactly halfway. I am also grateful that he found a summer job that allowed him any time off at all! I hope he sends me some pictures.
I was never very sad to see either of my kids go off to college. It seems like they are home often enough, with holiday breaks and summer.
But yikes, my oldest, who graduated college in May, just moved to a new city on the East Coast to start her new job & a new stage of her life. GULP.
Although it is very, very nice to see her so excited and full of confidence, I am most definitely out of sorts.
I’ve been crying quite a bit, and often seemingly out of the blue. Gah. I didn’t see this coming.
@Midwest67, I know the feeling! I was weepy when my kids left for college, but when my oldest moved to another state for his job after college, I was also more out of sorts. A job move is more permanent, as is a job itself. You know they will be limited with free time and vacation time. It took me quite a while to adjust to the idea.
The good news is that you’ll hear all about their exciting new life. I loved hearing about the new apartment complex, coworkers, professional groups, etc. where he made friends.
And- you never know what will happen next. After three years of work, S decided to go to grad school, and is moving home to hang out with us before leaving this fall. I never saw that coming!
S moved out of state for high school - so when he went to a different state for college, it didn’t feel any different. Having had both kids out of state for the past six years, we are sort of used to it by now. But last year, D started med school in our state. Nice having her kind of close to home!!
Hope everyone’s been having a nice summer! Although S has been out of school since late May, I feel like we barely see him unless we’re away on vacation. He’s working full-time, then spending many nights over at friends’ houses (his college is about 3 hours away, but many of the students come from the counties near us). Anyone else experiencing this? For the most part, I guess it works pretty well, but it feels strange to have him home but not really home. I guess we have maybe one more summer of this (since his apartment next fall is a 10 month lease), but then I am wondering how often he’ll actually be coming back home for extended periods of time. Oh well, I guess he is growing up! D18 is now looking at colleges, and fortunately her top 2 choices are both about an hour away so maybe she’ll at least drop by to do her laundry? :). I am definitely not ready for both of them to be off to college yet. 6 weeks until he moves into his apartment…
Happy Summer to you too @lifegarding & all.
We spent the weekend with DS in Houston where he is interning. It was a very good visit- just so nice to see him and the young man his is becoming!
He has been riding the bus every weekend to be with his friends that are still at school. Another confirmation that he has found “his people” and new home. Although this too means he won’t be home much in the future- I understand & truly just want him to be happy.
Probably many more ‘weekend visits’ to him vs. him being at our home from now on.Time flies- will make an effort to make the most of all visits.
Hope everyone has a great remainder of the summer before year 2 begins! 
Glad to hear from some 2016ers! DS is also working FT but has actually been home for dinner more than last summer since his GF is working FT as well. I have no idea what next summer will bring but I am preparing myself as if this is the last of him living at home. That way, I will be pleasantly surprised if he is here next summer. We are starting on figuring out what from dorm mountain goes back in the fall and what does not. He knows better what he really needs this year. Also, he has a couple of items to add to the pile.
Anyone sending a car for the first time? Looks like DS has decided against it for now, but maybe at Thankssgiving or 2nd semester.
@cheeringsection DS brought his car with him after Thanksgiving last year, since he was having problems with one of his wisdom teeth and didn’t want to stay home and miss any classes to deal with it, so we let him take it in case he needed to go to a dentist. It ended up working out well because he could then drive himself back and forth for winter break and spring break, as well as for a few events D18 was in. We still drove to visit him a few times :). He’ll take the car again this time since he’ll be living off-campus and they have good on-campus parking. He bought it senior year, and it’s still running :).
So coincidentally after my post earlier this evening, DS was chatting with a friend on skype and I asked if he’d like something to eat. The friend heard me and asked “where are you?” and DS said “Oh, at my mom’s house”…that’s the first time he’s ever referred to home as “my mom’s house” :(.
Awww- @lifegarding - it’s tough- isn’t it?
Yes, @Cheeringsection - dorm moutain still stands at our house but will also shift a bit before he returns. Hoping to not take as much this year- including a car (still- he is living in the dorm again & really has no need) Will probably take it Jr. year though.
Check on insurance, parking, etc. - can be important factors when deciding.
Nope. Barely seeing D16. She is working six days. Then spending her free time with friends. In addition, I work unconventional hours, so we are two ships passing in the night.
I’ve already booked a rental SUV + hotel room to take her back to school on August 7! She is going down early to get settled into her apartment.