<p>Well, DS got hit hard with a third bad luck $$ issue, and I’m not sure what to make of this one. After the expensive car repair, then the laptop repair, we had a few good days where he was house hunting with friends for next fall. </p>
<p>Then last Friday, he text to let me know that he had to pay another student $800 for something he accidentally damaged. While he was in his apartment parking lot, he swung his backpack around and hit a car side mirror next to him, cracking the mirror. He felt badly about it, so he left a note on the car and offered to pay for the repair. The girl took it to one shop, had it repaired, and the bill was $800 since they had to replace the whole side mirror and paint it to match the car (he said it’s like a 2006, not a new car). Poor guy - his heart was in the right place, and the only lesson he learned was that he had to shell out about 3 weeks of summer pay for a mistake…and I doubt he’ll leave a note next time around. </p>
<p>I kind of wish he’d called us first before letting it get to the point of the receipt, because I’m pretty sure the car place overcharged, or if not, going through insurance would have been cheaper. I didn’t immediately tell him we’d help pay the bill for it because I wanted him to feel the pain we all experience when mistakes happen, but $800 is a huge hit on his bank account so at this point I decided to pay 1/2 of it so he doesn’t feel quite so angry about the results of trying to do the right thing. </p>
<p>Only a few days left in October, so I’m really hoping he can avoid any more big bills that we weren’t expecting…fortunately the tuition bill for spring hasn’t arrived yet! Ugh…</p>
<p>I think he was taken…My DD2016 cracked the mirror on our toyota camry backing out of the garage (so hit the wall), while she was home this summer. You can just replace the mirror it pops right out, cost $60 and she did it herself.</p>
<p>Kudos to him for doing the right thing though.</p>
@lifegarding
A college student who dates a girl in our neighborhood hit our mailbox. He contacted us to let us know. He was really struggling financially, so we agreed to accept $20 every couple of weeks when he got his paycheck for the repair. If you already paid half, perhaps your son could let her know he can pay her the rest in installments. Although I felt somewhat inconvenienced because he wanted to pay cash and I had to be at home with each payment, I had respect for this student who was doing the right thing.
But yes, it does sound like he was taken as labegg suggests. I contacted the student before we contracted for the repairs. The wood post was out of the ground and slightly damaged; mainly the paint was very messed up. His dad came over and painted the post and re-set it into the ground. Then, they only had to pay for the mail box.
I saved money on a repair from a fender-bender car accident I had when I was a teen. I had damaged the plastic grill plate on the front of the car. Insurance agent advised us not to turn into insurance as rates would go up. My boyfriend and I found same car in a junk yard, removed the grill and took it into the body shop to have it installed. I saved about $400 by using the used part and also by removing the part from the car myself.
Odd, for some reason my last CC posts aren’t showing, but I can tell I made them because I see @momofsmartdancer s response but not @labegg, although it looks like she gave a response, too. Anyone else having that happen on CC tonight?
In DS’ case, he had already gone ahead and paid the girl the full $800 right away without letting me know, then I guess he realized it was going to wipe out his bank account pretty badly and wanted to vent about it. He sent a “mom?” text, but when I got back to him he said ‘nevermind’, but when I asked again he filled me in on it. So I think he was taken, and not much we can do about it since he’s already paid her. I’m just paying him back for 1/2 of it. I would have told him to tell her he’d pay after she got a few estimates, and for that amount, he should have gone with her to the repair shop. She just went, got it fixed, and gave him the bill. Oh well, lessons learned, right? Still, that was an expensive lesson!
@me29034, my oldest daughter had a major breakdown while on exchange overseas during the beginning of her sophomore year (actually almost exactly three years ago now.) Ultimately DBT was a lifesaver for her, though the sort of therapy needed really does depend on diagnosis. It will be really important that she stay consistent with her meds. My daughter needed lots of reminders toward the beginning when the routine was new to her and she was not nearly as stable as she is now.
The good news is that with hard work (a tremendous financial investment on our part in the right therapist, who, unfortunately did not take our insurance) my daughter is in a completely different place now, three years later. She graduated on time, married her high school sweetheart, is in an Americorps position working with refugees, and making plans for grad school. I seriously thought that we were going to lose her completely (as in, she would die) during the lowest point of her illness. She sounds happy and purposeful. It’s good.
@GoodGrief16 I wish your DD good health and much happiness! I am glad you were able to get her the help she needed.
Anyone else’s DC choosing classes for 2nd semester? DS is exploring adding a business minor to his EE major. It sounds like he can get it all in in 4 years since he has some AP credit. We plan to double check all that while he is home at Thanksgiving. I would think an EE that can write (honors program requirements), demonstrated leadership, and some knowledge of how a business works will be employable. Now he just needs to get that summer internship lined up.
My D has also registered for classes and she has finally settled on a major of Economics and minor of Chinese. For the summer, I’m hoping she can get some sort of business related experience so she can see what this is like contrasted to the legal internship she had last summer. She did apply for a couple government programs (NSA and FBI) because of her Chinese but I’m not holding my breath for those.
@me29034, it sounds like you and your family have just gone through something harrowing, but are coming out on the other side. Glad to hear it.
@GoodGrief16 : I am unfamiliar with particular types of therapies, but did a brief perusal for DBT, then CBT, and will dig in a little more to who does what out there. It is entirely wonderful to hear the outcome your older daughter and family have known.
My kid, '16, had a whirlwind of a time during her freshman year but did not see summer internships pan out. Many of the programs would constantly announce that it was taking them longer than expected to get through their applicant pool, so she held on to hope until she heard otherwise.
Still, she did some wonderful work with a volunteer program in our area and helped a woman (a mom of two) get over a bout of unsuccessful attempts to pass the high school equivalency exam. My daughter studied how to help someone study, and made some realizations about how people process and learn. Funny thing she noticed, this woman, she said, probably has the very same struggles with making sense of mathematical concepts and applications that I do. My daughter used her knowledge of her intimately frustrating moments with me as a way of developing strategies for the woman.
Four days before my daughter returned to school she received notice of the good news that that mom, her ‘student,’ had passed her GED exam and could now move forward with her life’s plans. I was proud and happy for both of them.
My daughter is still full steam ahead, making plans to study abroad next year, and putting in bids for internships next summer, having finally gotten some serious computer programming under her belt. I hope the universe hears and acknowledges.
@Waiting2exhale DS16 volunteered with the literacy association as a Freshman as part of the Honors program. He found it very rewarding. He is now completing an internship for the same organization acting as a mentor for the Honors students volunteering this year. We’re hoping for some summer internship opportunities this summer.
I heard there was a @Waiting2exhale sighting! Hello! So happy to hear that your DD is doing well. And she won’t long forget her summer helping those people. DD spent last summer working at the Urban League, where she had interned the summer before college. She’s been asked to go back and teach for the program this summer, but is also looking at teaching residencies and an intensive education research program. She LOVES being an education major.
She’s had a strange semester, and it looking forward to finishing up and starting second semester, after a long-awaited winter break. She’s on the student senate and is a sophomore class rep, a tour guide leader and was an orientation leader. She stays in touch with her “freshman babies” (who are all older than she is) and just tonight met one at the hospital (she’s ok). It turns out that a girl she’s known since they were 4 is applying to Fisk and is there this weekend to tour. They’ve already spent some time together, and as it’s homecoming, will have plenty to do all weekend. It was so cute-they went to different MS and HS and hadn’t seen much of each other these last few years, but each of them called their moms to tell us what the other was up to nowadays.
I don’t check here often anymore, but was glad to see your name up there!
My D started pharmacy school and is excited to get her white coat soon. She seems like she is very busy. She also needs to find a place to live off-campus next year.
S is planning on studying music education and is busy with the fall musical right now, hard to believe he is a hs senior already.
@sseamom: It looks like a belated Happy Birthday to sseadaughter is due: Happy Belated! I know she must have really savored the new opportunities that 18 brought, almost instantly reaching for the next thing on her list.
Hope you weathered the turning of the page with your usual wit, wisdom and aplomb, @sseamom. I can see what having the last one at home does to the Mom-brain-heart-spirit. I am constantly looking at this kid and leaning in for a little bit of contact, which he allows freely.
Your daughter, as usual, sounds like she was born to sample, and to add to, all the world has to offer.
Have fun @carolinamom2boys! DS16 is just leaving our house to head back to school after a visit at home to watch DD18 in her last high school musical performance. It was so fun to have him home for a few days. Knowing he’ll be home again in less than 2 weeks makes the departure easier than most times, at least!
I haven’t posted in a long while but we’re doing well here too! DS was home for a week for “fall break” and it was so nice to have him here. He finally completed some more hours of driver’s ed!
DS will likely be able to graduate in three years due to his APs, saving us so much money for undergrad, which is great. His plan after that is grad school - which means that I’m concerned about this new tax plan in light of several effects it will have, but specifically relevantly here, the proposed increased taxation of graduate school scholarships/grants.
I am really enjoying all of the updates and always reading even if I’m super slow to respond!!
I just wanted to pop in and say Hi! to everyone, and get updates. So, Hello!
My D is still at Ball State in Indiana, and has declared a double major in Spanish and History. She went in with a lot of Spanish credits, and would graduate in 3 years if she just did history, so she decided to take the extra Spanish classes and do a double major. She’s also taking Japanese just for fun, and she’s enjoying it.
She’s in the process of arranging to study abroad in Argentina next year - nothing set yet. She wants to go the entire year. I’m a little worried because of her history with anxiety, but she’s done very well so far at college. Trying to figure out how to get her meds to her, though, I need to have her make an appt with her psychiatrist.
@me29034 I’m so sorry your D (and you) went thorough all that, but I’m glad she’s feeling better now. I hope all continues to go well for her.
@BeeDAre my D16 studied abroad in Argentina last summer and had a fantastic time. PM me if you have any questions.
Your D may be able to take it one semester a a time. We know a student who planned to study in one country for the year but is changing to a different program/country for spring semester.