<p>Although S16 deferred all of his homework to until last night (after being totally non-productive for the first 90% of the weekend) he gets a pass because he is so good about getting his work done, on top of swimming about 18+ hours/week. Last night we put together (well, really, I put together) a PSAT prep schedule for him over the next seven weeks. It will likely involve < 4 hours/ week. We’ll see.</p>
<p>Video games were a big issue with S14. We’ve always had a no-video-game policy during the school week, but the weekends became an issue. Not just because of ignoring his homework, but for all the other obvious reasons. We’d then discuss with him setting a per day limit. When we’d say something like six hours, he’d say, “Oh my God, that’s so much time. I’d never spend that much time in front of the Xbox.” However, once he started tracking his Xbox use, he saw that he could spend that much time and more. A lot more. It made him appreciate how much time he was wasting. . . The freshman roommate of the son of one of our friends, who was an engineering major at Penn State, essentially flunked out (asked to take a leave) after one year because he spent all his time in his room gaming. . . Fortunately S14 has connected socially with a bunch of kids at college, and we get the impression that they’re out playing pick-up basketball, getting pizza, etc. in their spare time. They’re all reasonably serious students, but we’re concerned for him in this regard.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your support. At least I am not the only one!! If he would spend just 1/3 of the time he spends on games on test prep he could get perfect scores!! Not that perfect is the goal but it IS that much time. I have this recurring fear that once he is grown I’ll find out he was some world-famous gamer that all the other gamers were trying to beat and that will be ALL HE HAS TO SHOW FOR ALL THOSE HOURS when he could have been doing something positive for the world. He is a great kid and overall gets good grades but Jr year will really be trying for me if I need to redirect him often. I like the idea of setting limits. Maybe I’ll make him keep a time log. Last year when his math grade was not up to his potential and he was not seeking assistance from the teacher as he had promised, I made him study at the kitchen island like he did in junior high. Maybe I’ll reinstitute that as being location where a minimum amount of time must be spent on test prep each day. Any other ideas?</p>
<p>Like AsleepAtTheWheel’s son, mine mostly doesn’t do the gaming during the week (because, well…band). Whenever he’s busy, he manages his time. When he has a three day weekend or a school break, though…Heaven help us. His homework is put off, his laundry is in a heap on his computer chair, shaving is but a memory, and there are empty water bottles EVERYWHERE. </p>
<p>D16 is definitely my computer kid, but it’s online rather than gaming. And she spends a lot of time amusing herself with graphics programs like Poser and Photoshop and her Bamboo tablet. I guess if she doesn’t come up with a different career goal she could always get a job with the tabloid press, swapping heads on celebrities.</p>
<p>I must say that 12+ hours and venting here helped me deliver my expectations much more calmly. I am still not convinced that time will not be wasted but at least the college visit is inked on the calendar. Also, I found out today that the HS is offering a free practice ACT in November. Not sure how/when it will be scored but at least SOME practice will be occurring without me needing to insist upon it all alone. =D> </p>
<p>Wow, we just made it to 100 pages. At the end of next school year it will be neat (and emotional) to look back at this blog and see all our discussions. </p>
<p>FWIW, like I mentioned, I am working on my Master’s degree and I was just reading some research pertaining to bullying of autistic kids. When you put it in perspective we have it made that our complaints are about our high achieving kids not studying. </p>
<p>@Mysonsdad – The Parents of the Class of 2015 thread has almost 20,000 posts on it. If we are to reach that same number of posts by this time next year we’d have to average 50 posts a day. . . And to agree with your second point – I’m often tempted to point out what rarefied atmosphere we live in here on CC. Most parents would love to have the problems that we have. </p>
<p>@AsleepAtTheWheel after reading your posts on here I feel that your patients are lucky to have you as their doctor. You seem to be such a nice, caring person. </p>
<p>Keeping track of the number of hours they spend playing video games is interesting. Should see if S would agree to do that. He vastly underestimates the amount of time he spends playing these games!</p>
<p>In other news, he sent me an email yesterday that the school is offering to take students to a college presentation (for Duke, Georgetown, Harvard, Penn and Stanford). He asked if he could go (said he wanted to). Of course, we said yes :)</p>
<p>@Mysonsdad – You’re too kind. Thank you. I’m fortunate to love what I do. That said, I’m not sure if I would recommend it to today’s kids. S16 is interested in being a physician, and I tell him “Only if you become a surgeon” (not what I do). </p>
<p>The start of the school year is a double whammy for you guys, student and parent. I hope that you don’t have TOO many miscreant kids this semester. </p>
<p>I’m frustrated with D’s science teachers! D is taking 5 AP courses and understandably has a ton of homework. The night before last she spent hours on a very lengthy Chem assignment and just could not figure out the last two problems. She went to school early to meet with the teacher for help, the teacher glanced at the problems and said, “Oh, those are way too difficult, you don’t need to know how to do those for my class or for the AP test.” The poor kid was almost in tears trying to work the problems that she was assigned, using time that could have been spent on other homework and then her teacher tells her the work assigned is too hard and not to worry about it??? Why assign it?</p>
<p>She got to her Physics assignments and the work sheet had the problems numbered out of order which is a little annoying when you have to flip back and forth, she got to the last problem and did not understand the question. H read the question and agreed it didn’t make sense, he could guess at what they were asking but it could really be done two ways. Again D met with the (student) teacher before school and finds that fours words were omitted from the question!</p>
<p>I understand that teachers are human and they make mistakes but these mistakes are very frustrating and wasting time that could be used elsewhere. I know I should cut he Physics teacher some slack because she is a student teacher but the AP Chem teacher is the same teacher D had for Chem I last year and she made a big deal about completing all assignments no matter what. I went rounds with her on a homework assignment last year. D was sent home from school mid day (before Chem) vomiting and could not keep down water and crackers until mid night, she slept, felt better and went back to school the next day. The chem teacher accepted the homework that was due the previous day because it was an excused absence but gave her a zero on the homework that was due that day. D was in no state to do homework that night but the teacher insisted that she does not take late or incomplete homework and D would get a zero. Teacher said that D should have known what the homework was because it was on the syllabus and being absent the day before is no excuse. After going back and forth pointing out that they only way she could have complied with her rule would have been to miss a second day of school, she begrudgingly agreed to a “one time” exception to her no incomplete or late homework rule. I’ll bite my tongue for now but if this continues I’m going to get involved. You can’t tell students on one hand that all work must be complete and on time no matter what and then assign work that can’t realistically be completed!</p>
<p>re the rarefied atmosphere of this forum… don’t assume that everyone on this list has high achieving kids. I came to CC for my D’11 who is like many of your kids that are HS’16. I stayed for my S’16, but he is not nearly as high achieving as the kids that you are discussing. He has an IEP and has a special ed teacher. He will not be taking the PSAT or any AP classes. I don’t know when (or if) he will take the ACT.</p>
<p>I do not post much here and likely won’t, my son is a fish out of water compared to your kids. I occasionally stick my head in, because I do understand where you are. I was there 5 years ago with my D, and I may have some insight to offer from time to time.</p>
<p>Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that there really are parents of other kids on here. Please don’t assume that only high achieving students are represented here. Some of us are parents of kids who will likely graduate from high school but may or may not get into college. (even a community college). Kids like my son are struggling with wanting to plan for college, want to take the ACT and AP classes, though are told that they are setting themselves up for failure if they do that. And, my son is smart enough (and knows enough from watching his sister) to know he may be setting himself up for failure if he doesn’t do AP classes and the ACT. Those are the real world struggles that some kids and parents here are struggling with. Not everyone here has the same issues.</p>
<p>Ok, off my soap box. Back to your regularly scheduled programming. I will go back to lurkdom and the college class of 15 list now since I don’t have a student preparing for the PSAT or ACT right now, nor is he taking any AP classes this year, but I do have a student preparing to graduate college with honors next spring.</p>
<p>@bajamm, please accept my apologies, I hope I did not upset you with my post. I was just caught up in the moment because we were complaining about our kids not studying and then I happened to read a research paper about autistic kids and it put things in perspective. Please feel free to post whatever you want, you won’t be judged on here. Just to let you know, I also have a daughter that is far from being a high achieving kid. She got in with the wrong crowd in 7th grade and by 9th grade she was doing a lot of drugs, ditched school, and at 14 would go down to Compton (over 70 miles from my house) and stay with “friends” without me knowing. She is now on her fourth year of community college and making little to no progress. So please don’t think that we are all thinking we are perfect parents. Your view is appreciated.</p>
<p>@3scoutsmom that is so annoying. I hate the fact that I can’t even get in touch with my S teachers after hours and I work with them. Although many people will think I am crazy, all of my students have my personal cell phone number in case they have any questions about any work I give them. I tell them they must text and they are not allowed to call (this way I have what was said in writing). I have never had any problems. Every parent has my cell phone number too. </p>
<p>@bajamm as a former special ed teacher, I’ve always said that kids are all more alike than they are different. Please feel free to post your dc’s, goals, achievements and frustrations, chances are someone else will have similar experiences here.</p>
<p>@mysonsdad I am always waiting for the other shoes to drop because I was <em>that</em> child and I have been told that my kids will be pay back for my youth! I was as wild and as anti-authority as you could ever imagine but I was smart and did not get caught like my peers. The summer between 6th and 7th grade I started running with a much older crowd, by 9th grade I was so board and lonely because all my friends were PG or incarcerated. I begged to go to BS (not a selective one like those mentioned here on CC but something just to get me away from home) I actually issued an ultimatum to my parents, I gave them 3 choices: a) I would get PG and they would have to send me away to live my very religious cousins in CA and then I gave them a list of all my friends that were currently PG or recently had abortions or b) I would end up in juvenile detention and gave them a list of friends that were in juvi or in jail and why, or c) they could send me to BS. They picked option “c” ;)</p>
<p>I managed to get in with an even wilder crowd at my BS! I realized that was going nowhere after a year an a half, but had no where to go so I got myself kicked out of BS and talked my way into a private college at 16 (moved into Junior/Senior dorms mid year no less), dropped out of college before I was 18 (I just couldn’t fit in) at which point my parents both could not and would not support me. It took me a while, sometimes working one full time job and two part times jobs while going to school to pay rent and tuition (I could not qualify for any FA) but managed to work my way through CC living on my own and got both a AA and AS and eventually I found a way to finish my BS in a very selective program at a top state school. My parents always said I had to do things the hard way and they were right! It is not the path I would choose for my children but it was the path <em>I</em> chose for myself, I would not be who I am today with out the things I learned along the way. Your daughter chose her path and even though it might not be an easy one, she will decide where it takes her. I think I turned out ok and I’m sure your daughter will too. </p>
<p>Welcome @bajamm! This forum is all about supporting each other in making it through the college search process–whatever that entails. I hope you will stay. </p>
<p>Question: What is the NHS process at your school? Ours is that those that meet the minimum GPA receive an application, the completed application must show their accomishments in regard to leadership, character, and service, and then the NHS committee of administrators and faculty vote. Students are eligible for induction both jr and sr year. I don’t remember an application process at my HS growing up. I do like that this gives the more introverted kids a chance to share the things they do that the committee may not be aware of, but I am concerned about the “leadership” section. There are only so many “officers” of anything and my DS spends most of his EC time on sports. JV teams often rotate captain responsibilities rather than naming just 1-2. </p>