<p>Hopefully a short vent but please excuse me in advance. I have had two conversations with others deep into this whole college search process this week. One was positive and supportive of all choices. The other revealed more about that person’s preconceived notions than I now wish I knew. I am trying very hard to remember wise words from the 2015 parents thread (yes I lurk there) “run your own race” but it still saddens me to know that to some otherwise very reasonable and lovely people only certain schools are “good enough”. I do not believe that schools are inherently good or bad but rather that a school may be good or bad for a particular student, major, career goal, etc. I will limit future conversations to avoid awkwardness but I feel like I have lost part of my support system. Thank heavens for CC!! I hope that we can all support each other in finding the right school for our student, even if it isn’t a “right” school for anyone in some people’s eyes. </p>
<p>@Cheeringsection: 100% agree! If your kid likes it, it has the classes s/he wants, and won’t leave anyone massively in debt by graduation, it’s a good school. (If the kid gets in, it’s a great school.)</p>
<p>I thoroughly agree with the only school that is the right school: is the right school for YOUR child. </p>
<p>I’m in the camp that unless they (the one’s who poo-poo’s your plan) is going to step up to the plate to write the tution check then what they say really doesn’t bare any significance to the choice.</p>
<p>@cheeringsection you are not alone, I face this issue too. D is high stats type of kid and would likely have a shot at several ‘more selective’ schools but they likely won’t offer enough merit aid to make them possible. Plus the fact that she is likely an auto admit for UT Austin and Texas A&M but does not want to stay in state, is hard for people here to grasp. </p>
<p>The mother of a boy in her music program asked D about what colleges she’s looking at and when D told her she really liked OU. This parent told D she should not go to OU and that Texas schools are much better and she could get into better much schools than OU. I was pretty shocked when I heard about this. What adult would say this to someone else’s kid? </p>
<p>there are lots of people with lots of opinions…it would be nice if sometimes…they could just close their mouths. My D’13 had great disappointments when she applied. She “should” have been accepted at the places she applied (but, she didn’t apply early decision, which, in retrospect, was a mistake); and she went to a school she believed was not going to be challenging. Well…she loves it, it OF COURSE is challenging, and she’s doing very well! although, she’d beg to differ…as she is my triple A personality.</p>
<p>At my kids’ school one of the first things that the college counselors tell the kids is that they need to figure out a strategy of what they’re going to say when family, friends, etc. ask them where they’re applying. They tell the kids that their best approach is to play it very close to the vest, for all the reasons stated above. It’s simply not everybody’s business, and no kid should be put in the position of having to defend their choice.</p>
<p>In the fall of his senior year when pressed, S14 would say that he was most interested in USC. Well, he got rejected from USC, and furthermore by March he wasn’t nearly as interested in USC as he was in a few other schools to which he’d applied. Although he was thrilled to be going to where he ultimately ended up (and said so), many assumed that the truth was that he was disappointed that he wasn’t at USC. S14 actually thinks (?knows) that a lot of people are horse’s asses, so it didn’t bother him very much. </p>
<p>There are a lot of truly wonderful schools out there that are not ‘name’ schools, where kids thrive and have a wonderful post-college trajectory. Any parent or kid who’s gone through the application/admission process recently knows this. But unsolicited comments and advice are part of the journey. </p>
<p>you all should read the old smile and nod thread. It is very interesting and entertaining! <a href=“Just smile and nod...smile and nod - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/926354-just-smile-and-nod-smile-and-nod-p1.html</a></p>
<p>Not condoning the parent’s action but people in Texas have strong feelings about OU since there has been a rivalry going between those schools for a century. So I am certain they would rather have a Texas girl go anywhere else other than OU. 
</p>
<p><a href=“College Football”>http://collegefootball.about.com/od/rivalries/a/rivalry-red.htm</a></p>
<p>I also suggest that a kid settling this early for a college implies they are shutting off looking at the bigger picture in terms of what other opportunities are out there. If someone has high stats with high standardized test scores, NMSF status etc, there are so many schools that are throwing money at them that the choices are limitless. I have seen many a kid change their mind on where they want to go once they have a set of admissions.</p>
<p>On a side note, there is a person floating around on CC whenhen who could be a friend to both asleepatthewheel and 3scoutsmom. She left Emory after her first year and moved to OU to study Geology (?) because it was either not offered at her first school or not as good. She should be in third or 4th year now.</p>
<p>Feel free to scream at my post since you don’t need to smile and nod. 
</p>
<p>Getting back to the topic of a day or two ago – what has your kid given up during this difficult junior year – well, we’re going in the opposite direction here. Previously S16 attended two 5:30 am swim practices a week, on Tues and Thurs. This year he’s adding a third to his repertoire, the Friday 5:30 am practice. He also practices every weekday after school, and on Saturday mornings. All year long. </p>
<p>He gets VERY offended if we ask him if he’s taking on too much, and if he’s still able to do his school homework (and currently his PSAT/SAT prep). He responds that we’ve never had to keep track of whether he’s doing his homework, and that we certainly don’t need to start now. Oh and BTW, he doesn’t think that he did very well on today’s Biology test. Oh.</p>
<p>@texaspg – I can’t imagine that there are many kids in the world who can put both Emory and OU on their resume. Pretty funny. </p>
<p>I found out today that you cannot get the answers to the book they readily sell for APUSH! UGH!! If you are the instructor and can prove you are part of the school system, then you get the answer key - otherwise out of luck. I don’t know what they do for those that are self studying APUSH. Just my vent of the day…</p>
<p>I’d try to contact the publisher and tell them you are a homeschool parent or have a local homeschool parent try to get the answer key for you.</p>
<p>D’s high school has a variety of college reps visit her high school during the school day. Juniors and seniors and can sign up to attend and print a pass to get out of class through Naviance. Would it be appropriate for D to give the college rep a copy of her current resume at this type meeting?</p>
<p>There are 89 different college reps visiting her school between today and Thanksgiving Break and a college fair day with multiple colleges! I can see the number of kids signed up to attend for each college and it’s interesting to me which school have the most kids signed up. Most have less than five students but USC tops the list at 16, followed by Baylor at 14 and UCLA at 12 I’m sure that there were schools that have already had reps on campus before today and will have reps after Christmas that many be more popular but I just thought it was an interesting snap shot of local student interests.</p>
<p>D school has reps visit this week too. The problem is that it is during the day, so she will have to miss class to attend and with her workload this is not an option. The way she explains this to me is that this is for seniors who look to skip classes any way. This statement is probably not completely correct, but I understand her point.
Got 5 weeks report card today. Luckily no surprises.
Sport attendance becoming a big problem. She makes guest appearances rather than come regularly and competition season starts in January. This is a year around sport. And since she does not have a boyfriend to give up, sport is the one that suffers.</p>
<p>@3scoutsmom Thanks! I will try that.</p>
<p>DD hasn’t given up much so far – which is kind of a little worrisome, especially when I read how busy other folks’ kids are. I’m probably overly neurotic about this :-). She has begun prepping for the psat. Her HS only had one NMSF this year, which I think reflects the school’s unwillingness to emphasize it, and also translates to conversations with local parents that I know who seem dumbfounded that my kid is prepping for it. One mom told me, “we don’t believe in test prep.” I was kind of surprised at her reaction, but smiled and said nothing. We are in the midwwest. For kandcsmom – yes, there was a big difference when she took the act vs the sat. Her act score is much, much better than the sat score she received. I think that for some kids, this is true, and it’s important to find out which test works best for your respective kid. </p>
<p>I may be the only one that wants my kid to add things rather than give up. I’m trying to be patient as we just had a major move, but he hasn’t joined any activities at his new school yet. It is a big public school which I know is overwhelming for him, but they do have lots of offerings in things that he likes. On the other hand, he is taking his school work seriously.</p>
<p>His new school has 12 NMSFs this year which is very impressive considering that around 40% of the kids receive free lunch and 60% are hispanic (many of them ESL). So I know the school is doing something right, just hope that 2 months there will be enough to help my son do well on the PSAT. The first Sat review class is tomorrow.</p>
<p>My 2nd child did much better on the ACT vs SAT. She liked having all the math at once instead of alternating like the SAT. I had also read that if your student works quickly that can be an advantage for the ACT. </p>
<p>@pamayawaa - I, too, wish my son would add something because he has no real extracurricular activities except sports. He has no real interest in joining any clubs at school - tried Model UN freshman year but didn’t care for it and tried out for a spot in another service oriented club at school but didn’t make it (very popular so very competitive to participate). Sports take up all of his free time in the fall (HS season) and several times a week in winter and spring (club). He has a PT job (just 4-5 hours a week) dog walking, cutting lawns, shoveling snow but other than marching band/concert band (which is really a class not extra curricular) and private music lessons he has no other ECs. It’s depressing reading other students lists of ECs that are a mile long and wondering how he will ever compete. He has great grades, rigor and will likely have strong test scores but he just doesn’t have the compelling leadership story and even any clear interests that he wants to pursue.</p>
<p>@momofzag – Similar to your son, my son has no significant EC’s outside of his swimming, which may or may not be good enough to help him with college admissions. Certainly not at the elite lottery-schools.
I know that you’ve been through the college admissions process with your older kid(s), but based on S14’s experience (and a lot of reading here and elsewhere) my take is that, as opposed to the past when schools were looking for well-rounded kids, now they’re looking for well-rounded classes. They’re looking to fill their classes with kids who have a specific “passion” or skill, and it of course helps if one has somehow distinguished oneself in pursuit of that passion. I think that it probably also helps to have some sort of ‘community service’, but outside of that I don’t think it’s as vital to be able to check off all of the various EC boxes. It was a bit painful for my S14 last year when his EC resume looked so meager compared to some of his classmates (and even more so compared to the kids of many CC parents), but I don’t think that it proved to be all that detrimental.<br>
When the ‘decision threads’ came out last spring, where kids (or parents) self-described all of their EC’s along with their ‘leadership’ positions, I found some of them absolutely laughable. Some of the lists of activities and offices-held were so long that they were ridiculous – no one could do all that, and if they could then they were dilettantes in a way that was transparent to any discerning reader. . . It may be worth noting to those who’ve not yet looked at the Common App that in the section for EC’s the applicant is asked to list how many hours per week they’re involved with that activity. My guess is that some of the numbers for some applicants simply don’t ‘add up’ to a believable scenario.</p>
<p>I’m sure that your son dedicates a lot of hours to his fall and club sports. Hopefully admissions committees will value that level of commitment, and will also appreciates the wherewithal it takes to get good grades in the face of fifteen to twenty hours a week of demanding physical activity. I’m obviously biased, but I think the kids who can do that have shown that they have the work ethic and personal fiber to succeed in college and beyond.</p>
<p>@momofzag I think your son’s list of EC is impressive, especially 5 hours per week work experience. My D also works about 5-6 hours per week and it is very hard to get home around pm after all her after-school activities, and then start on her job responsibilities and only after that start working on homework for a very challenging classes. Fortunately, my D works on-line, so she does not have to go places, but it still has to be done on time and as soon as she gets home.</p>
<p>About things we are giving up. I think it is always the weakest activity that will have to be sacrificed. She has been competing at this sport since she was 9 and it has been a big part of our life, since we all had to commit to driving her to practices 6 time per week, flying all over US for the competitions, etc. I think at this point she is just over it. She will probably be retiring from this sport at the end of this year. She might be switching to judging this sport in a future.</p>
<p>Waa? The HS has let us know it’s not offering the PSAT. I’ll ask about why on Monday. So, at this point, we could try to find another high school as a PSAT test site. </p>
<p>However, because my DD is not aiming for any National Merit standing, perhaps it’d be best to just skip the PSAT. She had wanted it for practice, to gauge her likely SAT scores, to help inform her test prep. What do you think? </p>
<p>Now, it doesn’t seem worth it, particularly because we’d have to arrange disability accommodations and haven’t yet applied to the College Board for them. Sigh. I don’t understand why the school did not give us a heads-up on this, especially because I had been including the “PSAT” in my correspondence with the HS about accommodations.</p>
<p>Sigh. Maybe she should just focus in on her December ACT and January SAT. </p>