Parents of the HS Class of 2017 (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
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@chillkitty Thank you for your kind words. I was hoping that she would at least get the call. DD is a complete introvert and is currently undergoing testing for Narcolepsy/Hypersomnia. She is in the top five of her class and has been for 5 1/2 years, but she has never won a prize or been recognized at her school for any achievement because she does not self advocate and has been known to sleep in class. It’s been a tough road and she has had many disappointments, the Nutmeg call would have been a nice pat on the back.

I am beginning to get a bit cynical about this whole stupid thing. There has to be a school that values a smart grinder who is quiet and a bit inside the box.

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@cleoforshort Sorry to hear about your D’s disappointment. Happy to say there are hundreds of schools that value a "smart grinder who is quiet and a bit inside the box’. Literally. Hundreds. My kid is maybe a little more outgoing (not a lot), but she has not won any major awards. She chose orchestra and marching band as her ECs because that is what she enjoyed. Did not leave a whole lot of room for some other ECs. But, she had a great time and made great friends. So, her resume is a little ‘sparse’ when asked for a list of academic awards & honors. So be it.

Hundreds of schools would value a kid like mine. And yours.

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@chillkitty and @cleoforshort Sorry about the scholarship disappointment.

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As it may be the eve (or eve of the eve) of ED results, I am hearing that ratcheting sound that you hear when you are climbing to the top of the highest peak on a roller coaster. Oh, and feeling a little nauseated.

We are planning to take our DD out to dinner tonight to ‘celebrate’ all she has accomplished and let her know how proud we are of her. DH and I hope we can sharpen her focus on the many opportunities she has going forward regardless of the outcome.

@chillkitty and @cleoforshort hugs to your girls.

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@cleoforshort I’m sorry your daughter didn’t receive a call. From here to spring is a roller coaster of ups and downs in this process. Hopefully there will be more ups than downs.

I’m not sure you want to hear this, but I wanted to share my thoughts bc we are still before Dec 15 and that is the next big deadline for some scholarships and if scholarships are absolutely necessary, it may be time for a serious scramble. (Bama’s deadline is the 15th.)

I do think you are right to be cynical about how students fare in the process bc it is oblique and there is no clear view of what is needed from school to school. Our kids do face a lot of disappointment bc it is personal to them. They are used to being evaluated compared to their peers in their schools. This statewide, national, international filter is a totally different ball game and kids are expected to know how to enter the playing field when they have no idea of the rules, how to play the game, or who the other players even are.

This is my just btdt multiple time perspective. I don’t know how valid it is, but this is my take on what we have experienced. Automatic scholarships are an essential buffer. They are a no risk, positive back up plan.

Then, when it comes to other scholarships, I want my kids entering into the process with zero hope of actually being awarded any competitive scholarships bc the odds of my child having that perfect blend of what is being looked for is unlikely. They apply, b/c the odds are 0% if they don’t. But it really doesn’t mean their odds are much more than 0% if they do and that is the perspective I want them to keep in mind. All schools say essentially the same thing: top students with extraordinary achievements. Well, the threshold for “top student” and “achievements” are extremely far from being clearly defined. It helps to understand the school and research the previous students who have been awarded their scholarships. It helps to know where your student fits in their college data set. For scholarships, my first filter is to go to collegedata.com. Look at the admissions tab, scroll down and see where your student fits in the breakdown of test scores. They need to be in the top bracket.

Next I read through threads here and the school’s website. If you read through profiles of students of who is awarded what, different schools are searching for very different things. For some schools, Vandy for example, those perfect/near perfect test scores seem to matter a lot bc that seems to be a driving filter for them.

For other schools, it seems that after initial filters other factors drive decisions. For example, some schools seem heavily weighted by advertising power. Richmond is a good example. Scroll down to the bottom of this page: http://admissions.richmond.edu/studentprofile/index.html That page seems to sum up that they want to be able to promote the accomplishments of their incoming students as a recruitment tool. That “number on a star” probably reflects one of their scholarship filters.

Really, my btdt multiple time view is that schools want to be able to promote the successes of their UGs and grads as a recruitment tool. Those students who fit the profile that they are searching for to meet those needs are the ones that are going to be recruited to attend via scholarships. Whatever they want to be able to promote in the future that they think your student will bring to their campus, that is who they want. But that______ is what our kids don’t know.

But if students don’t have the threshold score/GPA/course rigor plus the extra “whatever” that puts them in the tippy top of the applicant pool, the odds of being awarded a competitive scholarship are extremely slim. One back up plan we have in addition to the automatic scholarships is to apply to schools further down the in college rankings in order for our students to rise in that applicant pool. As they filter to the top of the applicant pool, the odds of being reviewed for scholarship increase. (My kids fill out a lot of applications in the schools ranked around 100.)

There are absolutely lots of schools that "value a “smart grinder who is quiet and a bit inside the box’.” The very serious issue is finding those schools that will reward those attributes with scholarship $$. Those are the ups in this ride.

Here is to hoping that her other applications have positive outcomes.

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@cleoforshort I would treat these late breaking app fee waivers as highly suspect. Admissions departments probably have a very good look at the size of their applicant pool right now and are doing everything they can to boost the numbers. I honestly don’t think they are genuinely looking for “that missing gem.” Rice could easily fill their seats with TOP quality students from Early Decision. But that would put their acceptance rate above 20%…which would probably push them out of the top 25. Our unsuspecting kids are the victims of this unfortunate ratings game.

Cynical me.

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** Prestige **

I can answer as to whether or not my S cares about prestige with a story (yes, another story)…

One weekend in our delusional early days during his junior year we decided to go visit Georgetown. The traffic driving down from NYC was horrendous. After three hours of standstill, at the Delaware border, my GPS said we still had 3 hours to go. We decided to bail on Georgetown, turn around, and stop at a different school on the way home. We were able to sneak in to a tour at this incredible school. The tour guide was amazing, the campus was stunning, and the surrounding town was fantastic. It turned out to be a great day.

A week or two later, this was the dialogue between S and I…

S: Dad, what was the name of that really nice school we saw last week where the student said they had to write a major senior thesis?

Me: Umm…son…that was Princeton.

So there you have it.

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^^ :)) :)) :((
I wouldn’t recommend Princeton, Yale, Brown, etc for engineering though :smiley:
Many moons ago I was near Princeton on commencement day. Never saw so many shiny brand new cars in my life (VW new beetle came out around then). Common graduation gift must have been a new beetle that year.

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@cleoforshort —she sounds like a great kid. I’ve been thinking about what you wrote about her.

Do you ever think your kid might do better in a “big fish, small pond” kind of environment? Or does she say she wants to be around kids like her?

I only ask because our kids sound similar. D has won a few state awards but no major science competitions, no summers of research, etc. She’s just a good kid, works hard and is not going to be stepping up for all the “leadership” positions.

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@Mom2aphysicsgeek —excellent post! Very useful and should be over on a scholarship forum within CC.

I agree with all you have written, and I have not even btdt (had to google that one!).

Our children have often competed in state level competitions and won, so they are a bit used to working hard and enjoying a positive outcome. This scholarship world is an entirely different playing field, as you so perfectly explain.

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@nw2this what @dfbdfb said somewhat. There is flexibility and you know the inflexible times ahead of time. It works for us in that all but a couple of times my W had the summer off which allowed her and the children to stay in South America for 4-6 weeks at a time with my inlaws. The other 9 months of the year though she can be swamped with work and on many occasions heard the complaints of the children for not being available. I work in IT with a lot of off hour work and being available in the middle of the night and weekends which gives me flexibility during the standard work week so we make a good tag team at times.

@carachel2 DW had to leave her office early before all the slackards drove her crazy with their expectations.

@cleoforshort sorry for your disappointment and I feel like that sometimes too with a high academic achieving extremely introverted child that is hesitant to put herself out there so the EC/Leadership resume is extremely lacking.

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@cleoforshort Sorry about the scholarship and yes! your child will have many options. I thought that @Mom2aphysicsgeek 's observations were very wise and helpful and put things in perspective.

Here comes a mini rant - I hate that so many scholarship competitions stress “leadership.” Well, not every kid is a leader. Introverts bring valuable qualities to the table but you never EVER see a supplemental essay that asks “how will your introversion contribute to our diverse campus”?

My own D is high achieving and hard working, but a leader she is not. I have no doubt she’ll end up at a good college that will be a good fit and where she will be valued.

And, hey, how come we didn’t get that fee waiver from Rice? :wink:

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@chillkitty and @cleoforshort sorry about the nutmeg scholarship. I loved your words of wisdom. My son is in the same boat too.
@chillkitty - does “not qualifying” for a nutmeg scholarship have anything to do with admissions to UConn? Is that decision usually communicated along with RD’s for nutmeg applicants too?

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@mamaedefamilia – Re: not receiving Rice fee waiver. Did your D demonstrate any interest in Rice? If so, that may be the reason she did not receive it. Total speculation on my part, but having watched Chicago’s marketing efforts with my two sons, I think that they chase those who are not considering them. Older son had excellent SAT scores but middling grades, and would have been a terrible fit at Chicago. They sent so much to him. Meanwhile, younger son, who does fit their profile, receives much less from UC. However, he toured and interviewed there, so they know not to waste too much money sending him mailings.

And of course, I may be 100% wrong!

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So a question regarding merit awards. Do most colleges/universities mention in their acceptance letters wether or not you will be getting any merit money? In our case I don’t think either of the large OOS schools where son was accepted noted anything regarding merit award policies or that he was being considered for any. Not to be a whiner or complainer, but I was thinking they might throw him a bone or two, his grades and stats are sufficient enough. But we did not file any Fafsa forms so maybe they think we’d pay the full amount happily. That’s fine, just wondering.

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@nw2this @dfbdfb @Dolemite RE: Acadmics I usually say take the job paying more money. If your job has inflexible hours, you can buy time by paying others. I had a nanny for 14 years even with both DH and I having somewhat flexible schedules. If your pay is low and schedule inflexible (nor parents/inlaws living nearby pitching in), that is the worst combination.

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@RightCoaster The only acceptance letter that mentioned merit aid was U of South Carolina. And it was very vague. All other Big MAC came days or weeks later.

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@RightCoaster In the past, Case Western mentioned merit awards when admission decisions were released. I am not sure if they still follow the same policy now, though.

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@diy123, “not qualifying” for the nutmeg scholarship has nothing to do with admissions to UCONN. The way it works is that NMSF and top students nominated from their respective high schools have to appy by Nov. 1, write an essay, and include letters of recommendation (none of these things is required for standard admissions). From there UCONN selects just 15 students to interview for the scholarship and awards a certain number.

My problem with it is that UCONN is not that transparent in how it is awarded. I could not find a comprehensive list of past winners and no information on how many of the 15 students are offered the scholarship and how many ultimately accept it. So out of hundreds of kids that apply, only a few even get a chance to interview and who knows how many are actually given out. To me it’s a gimmicky way to get a lot of top students to apply and improve its numbers. Shocking, I know!

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@chillkitty - I agree. Lack of transparency is so unfair for the kids. Does that mean they have to apply again for regular UConn admission?