@Testingearly I agree with MOD. Kids who are not willing to engage with sharks might be overshadowed by the sharks. UG research with professors on campus–will they stand out enough to be selected?? LOR for the same program–who will the professor/dept decide to recommend?? Unpaid internships vs. funded research–who is guided toward the best opportunities? If you have student whose self-confidence might be undermined by the sharks fighting to be the top of top, whose professors might overlook as just a student in the classroom, they might end up with a Stanford degree but lost from their original goals. (I am definitely far more in the Malcolm Gladwell camp than the name on the diploma camp. Even if we could afford it (which we can’t), Stanford would not be the school I would want for my kids.)
@NerdMom88 You have my sympathies!! Our similar trip wiped me out for over a week. Hope it was worth it in the long run and clarified your d’s choices once she has a chance to relax and contemplate.
Another wait list for DS, Stanford. Finally, application process is over! FInal score 14-6-1, yes 6 wailists and one rejection. 5 of the wailists are top 10 school. He has decided not to pursue BSMD route.
It is pretty much down to Dandy Vandy (CV Scholar) or Penn (Vogles Scholar ) but full pay. He signed up for Harvard wait list.
Thank you for all the kind words @MotherOfDragons. My D does not like to draw attention to herself. Rather she is a consensus builder and the type of kid who steps in and gets things done without wanting to get the accolades. She is scary smart (not that we ever tell her that) so keeping up academically and running with the big dogs is not a worry. Looking back, the best thing I learned as a young parent is to never tell a kid they are smart but rather to focus on the effort. Yesterday, she was choosing between Columbia, Penn, and Yale. My advise to her was to choose whichever of the 3 she felt she would be happiest at but I am amazed at the number of people (my H puts it at 80%) who told her Yale. We will see how the new wrinkle impacts decisions.
Like @MotherOfDragons I don’t feel we really fit into the “where did you think she’d end up, etc.” Looking back on notes, she did rank RIT #1 after our visit there, but then she quit ranking schools. At any rate, the choice is made: Rochester Institute of Technology! She has been there since Thursday for Women in Engineering and Accepted Students day. I can’t wait to pick her up this evening and hear all about it.
Congrats on all the recent decisions and final choices and may the force be with those still deciding!
A little late on this QOTD but I have always enjoyed reading them so now that I have and account I thought I would contribute:
Where she hoped to go: Alabama
Where we hoped she would go: Pittsburgh
Where it looked like she was going through much of the process: Miami U of Ohio or Villanova
Where she decided she is going: Alabama
Yesterday way back on page 2015 @kac425 boldly put NOT Alabama/NOT Alabama/NOT Alabama to those 3 questions - not sure if that was an inside joke, meant to be funny to all, or just mean. I guess I just didn’t get it but it seems kind of rude.
For a family that is thrilled that our bright, friendly, high stats child has made the choice to make it Alabama I guess I just don’t get why anyone would feel the need to answer the QOTD with a put down to another school. Was it the joke of the day? Retreating back to lurker status. :-/
@bamamom2021 Congratulations on the decision! <:-P <:-P
No, I don’t think @kac425 meant to put down another school.
I think it just means that Bama was never on their List.
I thought it was funny, and that also described us, making us sort of stand out or outcast in this Parents thread.
Since there have been so much discussion of Bama and it seems that nearly everybody applies to Bama,
I almost felt maybe DS should apply there too! peer pressure. :))
I learned thanks to this thread that it is a wonderful school and has great opportunities, but I know that it would not work for us.
Where I assumed she’d go (pre-research): University of Oregon or Oregon State University
Where she wanted to go (pre-research): Stanford
Where we both assumed she’d go (mid-research): University of Alabama
Where she is going: University of Oklahoma
D originally wanted to visit and apply to all of the usual high-reach suspects: HYPSM. I said “no” to spending money on visiting schools that weren’t likely admits and likely affordables. We had a minor bit of drama about that… she said I was “unsupportive of her education”, etc. But I did spend a bunch of money to visit schools with guaranteed merit, and she loved Oklahoma, and that was it. She didn’t even apply to any reach schools. She did bring up the Malcom Gladwell “big fish” argument in support of Oklahoma. I am so happy that she has a school that she is excited about, and that I can afford.
My avatar is a pic of the ponies who pull the Sooner Schooner. It’s fitting for me because horses are my “thing”.
@bamamom2021 Just let it roll off your back as to each their own. My ds at Bama has had fabulous opportunities. He knows kids at tippy top physics programs who have not had the opportunity to participate in UG research at the same level he has at Bama itself. Many of his friends have had rejections or limited success with REU applications. He has had booming success.
Seriously, we know families that think our decisions are absurd. Who turns down scholarship $$ at higher ranked schools for USCarolina?? We do. We are a family where even a few thousand $$ means a lot of $$ bc we use our $$ to raise our family and live on and think that much of the college application bugaboo is much ado about nothing, In 5 yrs, where do the different kids end up and how much of that outcome is determined by choices and personality/determination vs school? I am not a believer in kids being limited or defined by their UG institution. For those that do, all the power to them. Not my circus. I am only concerned with my own monkeys.
@bamamom2021 You’re not the only one who read that post the other day that way. Congratulations on your daughter’s choice, it sounds like she’ll enjoy it there.
Long time lurker on this thread. I am always so far behind reading the posts, that whenever I see something to contribute, the conversation has changed. Congratulations to everyone on surviving the process so far and congratulations on the great results.
@bamamom2021 congrats on DD’s decision! My DD 2015 is doing great at Bama, from KY, lots of opportunities for her! Send me a message if you have any questions!
@bamamom2021 My high achieving DD made the same choice that yours has. She is thrilled and we are trilled for her. At the end of the day this whole process has been about what she wanted and never about what we wanted. We of course had our opinions, but it is our DD who mad the final decision! Roll Tide!
@Testingearly Stanford right now seems to be enjoying the limelight as the most sought after school. There are a lot of good things to write about it. Since you asked about the negatives here is my feedback. The grass in not greener where the Palm trees grow!!!
Stanford is going though an identity crisis, is it a tech school or is it well balanced between engineering/humanities/sciences? The recent surge in interest is mainly driven by the popularity of its Engineering school especially the CS major. Not a lot of people inside Stanford like it, Fame feeds the frenzy. The “Fuzzies” (or non techies) feel like they are not respected. Some try to become a “techie” even if they are suited for it and end up in a lot of frustration and resentment. Read Cath’s blog, you can Google it “Cath in college W for Wisdom”.
The surge in interest in CS is also causing problems in the CS dept that is not able to handle the 400+ students who elect CS as their major each year. The quality of education in CS is going down. Every single undergrad/lower level grad CS class has over 100 students, some over 800. Many time rooms are full if you show up a little late to class. And you have to rely entirely on TAs.
This is a problem that could go away, the hype in CS is very cyclical there are booms and busts. Until then Stanford has to come up with a solution.
@bamamom2021 & @youcee, I didn’t read that post that way at all—I thought it was just an attempt at humor in reaction to all the discussion of Alabama, which at a couple times has been kind of overwhelming here (which I say as someone who’s been guilty of being a part of that at times).
But, to lighten the tension up a bit, I provide a JOTD!
We are a family where even a few thousand $$ means a lot of $$ bc we use our $$ to raise our family and live on and think that much of the college application bugaboo is much ado about nothing, In 5 yrs, where do the different kids end up and how much of that outcome is determined by choices and personality/determination vs school? I am not a believer in kids being limited or defined by their UG institution. For those that do, all the power to them. Not my circus. I am only concerned with my own monkeys.