Anyone else get a guilty feeling when an orientation invitation comes in the mail from a college you know that your DC will probably not attend?
I’ll probably encourage him to start declining most of his remaining offers next week.
DS17 accepted full ride U of OK, NEU with Dean’s & NMS plus grant brings it down to less than Binghamton in-state tuition where he was also accepted. UMD … bizarre communication. Accepted but no further info re Fin Aid. No Georgetown and wait list at U Chicago.
Anyone heard from U Chicago wait list? Last year April 4-7 some people got calls/emails.
Well, I am the guidance counselor at our high school 
but that high school is located in our house. 
We are homeschoolers.
By strategic applications I mean that hours of research are spent on finding schools where statistically they stand the highest likelihood of positive outcomes before they start applying. They don’t do crapshoot applications. They don’t apply to schools without merit aid. They apply to a limited number of schools. They focus on those applications and put all their effort into them.
@STEM2017 I don’t feel guilty at all. I’ve looked at this whole process as a business decision from day one. I don’t feel any obligation to respond in any way, nor feel guilt for not choosing a particular school. My son was not particularly wooed by any school, so I don’t have any personal feelings toward any of them. I always assumed we were going to be full pay and we looked for schools that we felt offered a decent ROI for the money shelled out.
I don’t know if we picked the best one. I never “fell in love” with any of the schools we looked at. They were all fine, some of them offering better locations, some better price, better campuses, etc.
So, no guilt. I’ve decided son17 will not respond any time soon and start declining acceptances There’s no rush. The schools have told us we have until May 1. Just like they told us to have our apps in by a particular date.
I like your style @RightCoaster!
@HiToWaMom We are in Colorado and it is perfectly normal here to have spring snow. 
More snow came over night but it is already evaporating away fast.
@RightCoaster Yes, of course you have the option to wait until May 1st, but you’ve 100% decided and committed to another school. It’s not about the college, but by declining (and as others also decline) spots may open for other students who are on the wait-list and truly hoping to attend.
@STEM2017 Your situation is different. Your son is undecided, but you could decline the ones he’s definitely ruled out. However, if there is even a small chance he may want to attend a specific college, keep the option open!
The individual actions of one student do not affect the waitlists or the individual outcomes on another particular student. These schools have predicted how many will not accept by May 1.
Guilt: No guilt. None at all. I’m with @RightCoaster on considering it a cold-hearted business proposition.
And in fact, I think D17 may feel negative guilt—not quite glee, but trending in that direction—when such invitations come in.
She is her father’s daughter.
@STEM2017 The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
In that vein, I told my D that I could go into the portals and start declining offers from schools she knew she wouldn’t be choosing and she told me no that she wanted to decline them herself.
@Fishnlines29 I have that about that, declining now lets another kid in - maybe. Maybe not though, some schools never take kids off the waitlist.
I’ve also thought thru it like this… The schools have accepted son17 and asked us to give them an answer by May 1. My son literally had one week to make up his mind to accept the NEU London offer. The NU In option filled all of their spots already. So, not much time to really think it over. They kind of have the kids and parents in a tough spot. If my son had not enrolled so promptly he would not be going, and even if there was a spot left now it would not be in London, So he enrolled.
Now, could he change his mind? Maybe. I doubt it, but if he freaks out in 2 weeks and wants to go elsewhere he can still withdraw his place at NEU and commit to one of the other schools. But he would not have that option if he declined all of his options. So, we are just playing by the rules allowed. I don’t think I’ve read anything from any college that says once you have accepted an offer from another school that you must notify them promptly. I’m sure they would be thrilled to take my money any time up to May 1.
So for DS has declined one (early admit to BS/MD program to help others interview) and decline one WL. Keeping the remaining 13 acceptances in play and he will probably go 2 WLs. As others said, college know their yeild rate and give out admissions based on that. Let them do their marketing and may get some additional MAC or free gifts if we hold out 
UNC-CH sent a small book written by one of their alumni.
There are a few schools that are definitively off my daughter’s list and she will decline. It seems polite and also it might stop the tide of emails and phone calls. However, for one of these schools, there is no obvious way to decline admission on the portal or anywhere else that we could discern. There are a few schools that are viable that will remain until she deposits somewhere.
To update on recent topics:
SWAG: D was given T shirts from the schools that are currently her top two. She won’t wear either of them until she makes a decision.
Prom-posals: didn’t know this was a thing until I read about it here. Thank goodness, because my D got one and I was able to use the right terminology and seemed less clueless as a parent than usual. Thanks y’all!
Guilt - None! I agree w/ @RightCoaster . These colleges are businesses. They know their yields. I won’t have my child join a waitlist, if they have no desire but we won’t be declining until 5/1. Hopefully we will be accepting before then. But my DD have the option to change her mind until 5/1. My son who ED’d doesn’t. We are playing by their rules. For better or worse…
Even though we’re pretty sure what the decision will be, we won’t decline any acceptance until he SIRs. Just in case some red flag pops up.
@Mom2aphysicsgeek sounds like you are doing a phenomenal job! I hope stick around cc so that we can keep learning from you.
S was given shirts at his two top choices and also bought one shirt at one of those choices. Of course he decided to attend the school where he didn’t buy the shirt. However, he is non-discriminatory and currently wears all shirts regardless of the school he chose. He may give the shirt he bought to the college counselor so she has an extra for the day they take photos of seniors in their college shirts.
S did decline one school early where he received the WUE (partial tuition waiver) because the school only offers a small percentage of the students that award. Other than that, I agree that schools offer more spots than they have space for knowing that a large percentage of students will decline the offer. So in reality, I don’t think the wait list or the scholarship offers are affected much by declines.