@robNNN Yes, he did add Penn State to the list! and @mommdc it is OOS for him, so probable too expensive but I’m still unclear on their top line budget. And yes, he would have to increase his scores before applying. He taking them in August again, so we’ll see this fall!
Me neither!!
@WhereIsMyKindle In my haste, I missed the part about Taiwan! That is VERY exciting! Will you visit?
@soxmom Your son’s plans for gap year sound exciting too! My daughter’s decided she’s going to do something like that after she graduates. We’ll see, it’s a long way away!
@STEM2017 I’ve been wondering about the RA thing lately too. Though honestly, not sure if the job would be worth the hassle! I don’t personally know anyone who was an RA.
@jpc763 YEA! Congrats on U of Minnesota! Nice avatar 
@RightCoaster Oh my gosh, that’s so crazy about the coach. I’m glad your son held steadfast. What was the school? I kind of like @mageecrew idea of a note to send back!
@STEM2017 I’m not sure about RA as far as room and board. I’ve heard some schools RAs have problems because the pay (or room and board) has to be reported as income and thus reduces financial aid eligibility. There was a recent incident at Scripps:
Some of their complaints seem a little weak but some of them seem legitimate.
Sounds like a tough job with long hours and a TON of responsibility.
@Fishnlines29 done with day 1of 2 Admitted Students Day at UChicago. It was interesting in a number of ways. Primarily different was our attitude going in: looking to utterly affirm the love for the school that allowed for an ED application to be put forth in the first place. As opposed to essentially every other college visit mission, to assess for fit while definitely taking care to not lose your heart…it was totally different counsel here today…absolutely hoping for a bloodletting of affection. My take from a distance (the students and parents for the most part have different agendas) is that S17’s loving it (even more) thankfully. He attended a philosophy course, went to a low key team practice in his sport, now spending his evening and night with host students.
All the bells and whistles were out today and it was pretty impressive: beautiful weather to highlight the spring flowering redbud, crab, and pear trees along with the resurgent perennial beds and bulbs. Dean of Admissions (aka Wizard Jim Nondorf), whom I’ve read about but not met in the flesh, was ever present today, effectively glittering everyone with fairy dust in all the hallowed gothic gathering places…he even had the magnificent pipe organ opening the session before an alumnus and trustee delivered a heartfelt keynote address in the cathedral. Nondorf shared that the admission rate for this class was 8% with an average SAT score of 1499…yield of course yet to be determined (but likely to be significantly up due to ED/ED2 options for the first time). The evening ended for the parents after hearing from a panel of 4th year students, by mingling with admission and administration personnel over cocktails and finger food in the amazingly beautiful and vast Harper Reading Room…Hogwarts come to life…for real!
It’s supposed to be significantly cooler tomorrow…we’ll see if things change otherwise.
@jmek15 The heck with college, tell us more about the TV your were drooling over. We got into the flatscreen craze relatively early, but that just means we are way behind now.
@Fishnlines29 - Great idea on the screen shots…I will do that also for D’s stuff. Were getting tons of stuff from Stanford and lots of emails. Columbia, not much but a form letter and a small handwritten note from the AO. D is around 70/30 on going CARDINAL (was 50/50) but she has the admit student days in NYC this weekend. Were hoping it will not be a good trip, with lots of bugs in the dorms, the dorm room will smell bad, the dorm room will be noisy, her host will be someone she disagrees with, the showers will not have hot water, stuff she wants will be really expensive, it rains, its cold, or anything to make the school look bad to her…just hoping that after seeing the school up close and personal she will hate it and make the commitment to Stanford. Or that the trip to Stanford the following weekend will knock her socks off and decide to commit and get it done so I can hurry up and order Stanford gear and the Stanford Dad sticker for the car. Just wishing and dreaming she will attend Stanford. I’m not against Columbia at all but I’m all for Stanford because it is a better school and better for D in terms of her mental and physical health from all I have researched. CC has been great and thank you all for your great inputs.
I was an RA and it was one of the highlights of my undergrad experience. Very rewarding. But as another poster said, it’s long hours and a lot of responsibility. I had to deal with suicide attempts, bulemia, drug use, etc. Pretty serious stuff, and when I look back and remember that I was 19-22 at the time, I’m kind of in awe that I had the maturity to shoulder the responsibility. Thus, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone just for the financial renumeration. I would say that your head and heart really need to be in it.
@thshadow: Been lurking here for a while…and have appreciated your posts, particularly as Rose Hulman was a school of interest for my S. I’m guessing that the gender issue helped your D, as my S with a higher GPA, while accepted at Rose, was rejected at UWash, Cal Poly SLO and Mudd (huge stretch…but he loved the school and had to try) and waitlisted at RPI and UW. Of course, there’s more to an app than the GPA, so who knows. He applied CS to all, and I am just now getting a full understanding of what he was up against at some of these schools with CS. He did get accepted by 5 schools, so he fortunately has some decent options. Of course, some are cheaper than others!
We visited Rose a couple weeks ago, and it’s now his top option. He currently attends a small but solid private school (graduating class size ~80), and the small community, small class sizes and lots of professor interaction at Rose really felt like “home” to him. I was very impressed as well. He also plays competitive soccer. He originally opted to not focus on playing as part of his college search, but has come to regret that decision now that his club soccer has ended and he’s more than half way through his final HS season. Since we were going to visit Rose, we encouraged him to reach out to the soccer coach there to inquire about possible opportunities. He also connected the Rose coach with his club coach. The Rose coach was great - let him come out to a team practice, and set him up to stay in a dorm, eat meals and attend classes with some freshmen on the team. He then met with my son and I, and ultimately offered him a spot on the team should he enroll. The opportunity to adopt a new soccer “family” at college is icing on the cake.
Even with the aid offered, Rose is more than we had wanted to pay, primarily as we can’t drain the coffers on him with D19, D21 and S23 waiting in the wings. I’ve been negotiating (pleading?) with the FA folks to get the costs closer to our comfort zone, and have closed the gap a bit. In the end, we’ll likely bite the bullet, as it’s just too good of a fit to turn down.
@NolaCAR - Son decided to be an RA not for financial reasons but because the professor in charge of his college at UCSC asked him at the end of freshman year. I guess the teacher saw some maturity in him and he finds it rewarding to be able to guide fellow students to make better choices. During winter break he actually met with students who were falling behind or having issues to help them along. One girl, who comes from a gang family and the first to ever go to college and not college ready, did not like my son because he wrote her up a few times for intimidation of fellow students. He invited her to lunch and had a heart to heart talk. He listened to her story and basically told her he just wanted to help her break the cycle she was in and that she had an opportunity to do so and not to waste it. S has matured with just 1.75 years into the college experience. Totally agree with you that your head and heart really need to be in it.
@PacNWDad Feel free to ignore me!! If your don’t want negative feedback, don’t bother reading.
I would encourage you not to take on greater college costs, especially for your 1st. CC is a bubble. Most students in this country do not attend expensive options just bc the fit/rank/name is so good. Plenty of top students at their so-so schools end up working right alongside the higher ranked school grads. Those additional costs may all be for naught.
[deleted my older kids’ stories of how school name and lack of perfect fit has not mattered, but it hasn’t. No debt has been the right decision.]
Our high school sr is walking away from better schools due to costs. She will do exactly what her older siblings have done. Excel.
Fwiw, I don’t know about Rose, but enter into reduced negotiated costs with caution. They are not typically guaranteed for 4 yrs and later yrs you lose negotiating power and costs can go up.
Sorry for butting into the conversation and offering my .02.
Congrats to all who have decided. VERY pleased to say we are in that boat now as well!
We just gave up, didn’t care, just wanted her to decide. Last week, Hubby said do a pros/cons list which she did. Tuesday, she informed us that she was going to Quinnipiac, BFs school, to see if she could get their outrageous tuition down. Said she’d go there for a year then transfer. I had told her all I learned here of Gap years and no classes and transferring. Hubby said - don’t approve of following BF to a school that you’ve said for a year you wouldn’t attend.
She texted me after while at work ‘Mom’ and told me she had chosen and it was Indiana. I thought she was kidding me and didn’t take it serious. I said all the yelling, screaming, crying, drama - I’m baffled. She said she knew last week, when she had to make her pros and cons list where she was headed, but wasn’t ready to give up the fight to go to school with BF. Her visit Wednesday allowed her to give up that thought.
She wants her college experience but she is also deep in the midst of young love and can’t see straight. Last week I had asked her if she was really willing to give up her dreams for her relationship and if she did, and it ended, would she be happy with the school she selected? She kept going back to her pros/cons list and knew she would not. Indiana offers her the whole enchilada if she wants it - she does. It’s the setting she wanted to be in, kids she wants to be around and she sees herself there.
The relief is so apparent, the monster went back into the closet and my daughter emerged. She is social, chatty, happy. She texted her dad that he does get to wear that ‘Hoosier Daddy’ t-shirt he was fond of.
She is so excited and keeps saying “I’m going to college!!!”
So son17 did not reply back to the coach or school yesterday and last night he received an email that he was awarded some scholarship $$ after not getting any $$ offered to him with his initial acceptance. So weird.
NEU is still the better school and it’s probably a better fit, but it would’ve been nice to have this option on the table 4 weeks ago to actually consider.
Son17 is still committed to NEU though, he basically said too little too late. What a wacky series of events for my son.
But young love never ends! 
Great decision @mominthemiddle! Very mature and well thought out. Congratulations to you both!
@Agentninetynine I’m sorry to hear that your D has to experience that in this age. I’m going to change my avatar for the weekend. Good to hear the boy couldn’t keep up with physics due to his lack of logic.
If she sticks around, she gets to enjoy watching looong lines in men’s bathrooms while getting the whole women’s bathrooms all to herself in big physics conferences :))
@mominthemiddle - <:-P I seriously had tears brimming in my eyes while reading your update…congrats!
@mominthemiddle Congrats to you and your family! That’s great news and a very. mature and wise decision for your D to make. It’s probably exciting and a bit sad too for her. She’ll work thru it and figure things out with her BF. I’m glad it came to a successful closure for you.
@Fishnlines29 Yes, we will be visiting D in Taiwan next year, probably in the spring
@gr8pl8 That’s great that your son reached out to the first generation student who didn’t like him. That takes guts. I am so glad he is enjoying his RA experience.
@PacNWDad I think it’s wonderful that Rose has offered your S a spot on the soccer team and that it’s a good fit for him. You mentioned in your post that you are taking into consideration the need to put your 3 younger children through college, too, so although Rose may be over your budget, it doesn’t sound like it will break the bank. I say go for it!
@mominthemiddle that’s great to hear and I am glad your D made this decision on her own!!!
@carachel2 Crazy article, thanks for sharing. A lot going on in there. This is exactly why I wouldn’t want my daughter to be an RA: “Please keep in mind that we are full-time students who are extremely overworked and emotionally drained” And @nolaCAR has good advice, I think you need to have a strong emotional personality that could handle it.
@vandyeyes Sounds like you all fell in love! Well, that’s fantastic. So, what did you find to be the difference between parent/student agendas? Just curious. I look forward to hearing about your son’s overnight experience.
@gr8pl8 We will also be in NYC this weekend for NYU admitted students weekend. I remember during our information session at Stanford, the dean said “if you are considering going to school in a big city and someplace like NYU, this school likely is not for you!” We loved the tour at Stanford, it had such a great vibe, it felt very collaborative and kids seemed happy. Both my daughter and I fell in love with it and for a time, my daughter thought she would apply. In the end, her dream was always to go to school in NYC so that did win out. D never had any interest in Columbia at all, but we decided to tour since she would have legacy there. The overall feel was ‘oppressive’ and seemed more competitive than collaborative. So I’m curious to hear about what your daughter thinks! Of course I have family members that attended and loved their experience, they received an excellent education and afforded them outstanding opportunities, so it can’t be all bad! lol.
@mominthemiddle Great story and what a relief for all of you! Congratulations, I’m glad she seems herself again and happy. My daughter will also be leaving a very serious boyfriend behind and it’s tough, but she knows is the right decision for her own development!
@RightCoaster It’s nice to hear your son is still committed and glad this offer didn’t throw a wrench into things for him! He’ll do great at NU!
@WhereIsMyKindle That will be amazing… How long is that flight for you?