Permits here at 15-1/2 and licenses at 16. I think a year of practice would be better than 6 month of practice. S didn’t get his license until 16-1/2. We hired someone who works for H and races cars in his spare time to teach driving basics to both kids. I think that save a lot of stress on both sides. It was super nice to have a calm 3rd party giving instruction. And both passed their driving tests on the first try. We also ask that they text when they arrived at a destination. S isn’t so good about remembering, but I put the “Find My Friends” app on both our phones, so when he forgets let me know where he is I can stalk him. The app will come off when he goes to college.
Learners permits here at 14(!), but our oldest didn’t get hers until she was 15, so that she would have a state-issues ID to take the ACT. She’s about to turn 17 and grudgingly admits that she needs to get her license soon, so that’ll be happening in about a month.
Our second-oldest, on the other hand, is annoyed that she doesn’t have her learners despite recently turning 15, but she’s so over-eager to drive that we’re putting the brakes (ha! I pun!) on the process a bit for her.
@dfbdfb I’m sure both Ds are pros at driving snow machines or float planes, though!
D did three years of Spanish but did not want to do AP. The State flagship, her first choice, requires a FL in college (equivalent to a level 3 and 4 in HS) but accepts AP credit to opt out. So she changed to Latin. She will take Latin III over the summer and AP Latin senor year. She loves Latin and learning about Roman culture, she considers it her “fun” class.
She is is thinking of a Linguistic minor and that requires a semester of a non-Latin/Germanic language, but just an introductory course.
So, yes 4 years of a language because the AP credit will save her two semester classes in college.
S17 doesn’t have his license yet despite doing drivers ed last summer (the scheduling was a nightmare) because the kid terrifies me. Probably going to send him to someone else for just driving help. It’s a maturity ADHD (“squirrel” issue. lol. S19 is chomping at the bit and could, if he studies and passes the written test, get his permit now. I’m far less worried about S19 behind the wheel but think it would be spectacularly uncool of me to let him be ready to test before S17 gets his so have been stalling him in terms of class sign up.
Besides, there is no extra car to give them and S hasn’t saved a penny to buy one so…no rush. He will have it before graduation if it kills me. It may. SD19 does not have hers!
As for NPC and need in divorce/remarriage situations I can offer what i have learned so far with a fair amount of input from the financial forum here. This is what I have learned, though I’ve not been through most of it personally yet.
Schools will use either the EFC (FAFSA based) or a different calculation based on the CSS Profile.
For the FAFSA. This will apply to all state schools and some private institutions. This is a standard calculation so all of those schools should spit out the same EFC.
- EFC will be calculated based on the custodial parent. Custodial is literally the parent who has the kid more than 50% of the time. It is not based on who pays more for the child but where they spend their time. It has zero relationship to who claims the student as a tax deduction.
- If you are not the custodial parent for a child in college but then have another child (step sibling) that you are custodial for, you may not count the non custodial kid as a student in college when filling out the FAFSA for the custodial kid.
- If you are the custodial parent and have remarried, you are required to count both incomes, that of the parent as well as the step parent.
- For the FAFSA, the non custodial parent will not be required to provide any financials at all. The EFC will be based on the custodial parents income and the step parents (if applicable) income. I can confirm that is true. My H did not have to provide an iota of info for his kids, one at a private LAC that used the FAFSA and one at an OOS school.
- Student income and assets are factored in (so trust funds etc will be counted if they exist).
General rule is if solo, or combined you make more than 99K, you will not qualify for any federal aid at all. I do not know what the cutoff is for subsidized versus unsubsidized student loans (which have an annual cap) but suspect there is a direct correlation to the 99K number.
For the CSS Profile. This will apply to the Ivies and many of the more selective LAC’s and some private institutions. To a degree this is also a set calculation however as private institutions there may be a lot more flexibility in how “need” is determined and whether “need” can be appealed and adjusted for complicated financial divorce/remarriage situations. Your ability to appeal and ask for more need based aid is likely greater for these schools but on the flip side, a ton more paperwork from what I understand.
- In general all of the above applies plus, the EFC will be based on assets including all kids 529's, your house, other real estate and investments as well as the income from all parents involved. That will include biological and steps, all of them.
- It is my understanding that financial support for a non custodial child is also factored in here. So, for example while you cannot count a non custodial child as a "child in college" you can count what you are paying towards their college under child support.
- You may be able to demonstrate through court documents etc that the other biological parent is unable to pay. Generally speaking they don't care if the other parent is unwilling to, they expect them to and will require documentation to prove they aren't just not willing, but not able.
My personal strategy based on the above is to assume zero aid in our scenario. It is possible that at a CSS profile school, need may be determined. But since the need will be a variable based on SD’s graduation date and S19’s start date, I don’t want to count on a moving target as a “real” contribution. To that end we will focus on what we can afford with zero need based aid (and any that comes is “gravy”) but search for every penny of merit we can find.
Very good summary @eandesmom
I will add that very few of the schools with the best need-based financial aid are FAFSA only. If you google, you’ll find a list of FAFSA-only schools. So again, unless comfortably full pay, I wouldn’t recommend ED.
As for driving, D drives and has been driving since her 15th birthday (permit) and got her license on her 16th birthday. Its a thing here to get your permit and driver’s license on your birthday. It’s even an excused absence. She did driver’s ed then I had someone else teach her because I was too much of a nervous wreck with her behind the wheel. They did a good job, because she is now an excellent driver. She helped with the long drives when we did our college road trip and I’m no longer a nervous wreck and happily let her drive whenever we go out. She’s actually now better at parking and reversing than I am. :)) She has her own car, which I helped her pay for. She saved up her money. It’s been nice not having to drive her everywhere and she’s become obsessed with punctuality since she started driving (I get into big trouble with her since I often run late). :)) She’s also better able to manage her schedule since she got her license.
Just to clarify, EA and ED are not the same thing. ED is supposed to be a binding decision whereas EA is no different than a rolling admission decision. http://time.com/money/3991590/college-early-decision-early-action/
@Mom2aphysicsgeek Thanks for catching that typo. Fixed! D is applying EA to as many schools as possible.
How many of you have done tours on a weekend while school is in session? I am looking at what is left of this year and the academic calendars of schools we would like to see and UGH. I really don’t want S to miss much in Senior year for the touring aspect but would love to see some before we get into applications (and what essays he will need) so would love to squish in a few more before summer breaks. However, given calendars the only way to do that is to miss a day of school and maybe hit one on a Friday and one on a Saturday and then leave the rest till late August for those we can fit in there and then the rest after Senior year starts
I just don’t think visiting in the summer is the same but wondering if a Saturday is almost as bad as summer even if it’s still during spring semester.
Thoughts?
@eandesmom, we have not done tours on weekends and most of the tours we have done to date with S17 have been while school is in session. But with D15 we did a lot of summer tours because either distance or school sports prohibited us from touring while the schools were in session. H is taking S for tours of two schools (UT Dallas and OU) in June when school is out of session. I think that going when you can regardless is good for the kids because it lets them see and compare schools. S will go back to schools he is really interested in to sit in on classes next year, before he has to make a decision. It is the best we can do.
I agree. I would rather tour in the summer than on the weekend. Dd has been corresponding with depts that we plan on visiting this summer. We are making our travel plans around when those profs will be able to meet with her on campus. (FWIW, we really don’t find general tours all that helpful except for seeing inside a dorm room. Meeting with the dept and sitting in a class have been far more valuable. If it comes down to needing to sit in a classroom to make a decision, she can always go for a return visit next spring before having to make a final choice.)
It’s so funny how each student and each parent takes different things away from college visits. I am looking for different things with younger son than I did with older son. Part of that is the benefit of experience and part of it is the different caliber of schools.
We visited one school on a Saturday immediately after Super Storm Sandy, when our power was out for the week and school was cancelled, but Boston was unaffected. Beware dorm tours on Saturday mornings. Disheveled students.
We visited one Columbus Day with older son, but campus was empty as it was a long weekend.
One note of caution about visiting now. The students may look a bit stressed as it may be reading period or exam period. Michigan is out already!
I would still say that visiting on a Saturday while school is in session is better than visiting during the summer. I like to sit in the dining hall or on the quad and observe the interactions of the students. I really don’t care if I see the inside of a dorm ever.
Having said all that, we will have to visit a few this summer, and revisit if any require interviews.
@eandesmom – how does your HS Jr even have time to think about visiting anywhere right now? And that was an amazing FA summary. I need to copy that down somewhere.
RE: Drivers’ licenses. Driver must be 16 to obtain permit. If taking driver’s ed, can take road test after four months but must have driven 40 hours on road. Once licensed, cannot drive anyone else for first six months. At six months, may drive siblings, and at one year, may drive anyone. CT changed this half a dozen years ago or so. I like the graduated system as I think they need to be free of distractions as new drivers.
Argh visits! D has visited or is very familiar with 4 of the 9 on her list. She will be studying at one this summer. One is 2 hours away (without DC traffic lol). One is 5 hours away. The other two involve long flights across the country.
I would love to get the most local done this summer. Ohio State will probably be in September. If we leave right after her uni language class on a Thurs, we could be there late aftermoon and have the following day.
I just don’t know about Arizona and Oklahoma. If she does make the NMSF cutoff we’ll do everything we can to get her to OK as soon as possible. Oklahoma appears on paper to be a better fit than Arizona.
@WhereIsMyKindle We have reached the same decision between OK and AZ. I am pretty sure she has eliminated AZ from her list.
We are going to OK this summer.
@CA1543: DD took 4 years of French in h.s. and one semester in college. She also spent a month summer of her junior year in h.s. studying in Paris so she’s fairly fluent. DS is finishing his 3rd year of French and is taking French 4 next year. School does not offer AP language.
We had an interesting experience that I want to share with you all. This past week, Spy kid’s school hosted a mock application review workshop where we all acted as Admissions officers. We were given 3 Common Apps to study, along with a data sheet and a synopsis of the type of school that employed us. The first half hour or so was the standard meet and greet with college reps. After that parents and students were divided into small groups led by real College Admissions officers from across the country.
The college we “worked” for was a highly selective LAC with an average ACT of about 28 - 31. Our yield was about 33% and we had just built a big sports stadium and science building.
Each group analyzed the applications and we had to choose one to admit, one to waitlist and one to deny. It was fascinating process. I learned that:
: Regardless if a school is need blind, the AO knows, or can roughly assess, the SES of the applicant because they see the address of the student, the high school the student attends, the level of college completed by the parents, race, the age of other siblings and of course if the student is eligible for free or reduced lunch and or a waiver for the SAT/ACT.
: Our AO said she likes to see kids who overcome a hardship or disappointment. IE: cut from a team, upward trend in grades after a bad semester or year, didn’t win NHS president. (This is her opinion only)
: If there’s an issue at school such as a suspension, a medical reason for lower grades, a train wreck of a semester or similar, it’s important that the issue is addressed in a letter by the student and followed up by guidance counselor or teacher.
: Letters of recommendation can really make or break a kid. One of our “applicants” looked fine on paper. Grades were good. Had the standard ec’s. She attended a competitive h.s. and was in the top 40th percentile for her class. The letters of rec weren’t negative, but they weren’t glowing either. It’s what wasn’t said.
: It’s *vital * to have something that sets the student apart on the app. Whether it’s their essay, an unusual EC or a glowing rec. Nearly every one of the 30 groups chose to deny the same faux student. She just didn’t stand out.
: The essay and the LOR is what helps the reader get to know the student. This is the only method the student has to convey who they are.
@Agentninetynine Wow, that seems like a very interesting experience! I think LOR are one aspect of the process that most kids don’t take super seriously. They seem to believe that as long as they choose a teacher who liked them and whose class they did well in, they don’t have to worry, when there is obviously a great deal of room for the teacher to give insights and opinions on the student outside of simple academic facts.
@CA1543 Currently, my D is planning to take AP Latin her senior year, but that is subject to change. The Latin department is quite incompetent at her school, so she is considering dropping it and seeing what happens with only 3 years of fl. It is tough to back off and let her make these decisions, but I guess that is just part of being a parent to a young adult
@Agentninetynine thank you for sharing! What an eye opener for parents and kids. That sounded like a fun experience
Dd was just telling me about her tutoring session with her student today. She is helping her prep for the ACT. She said she has helped her raise her percentage from 62% to 93% on a practice section. She is super happy b/c the girl is a sr and she can bring her score up through June in order to qualify for scholarship $$.
We did that “Admission Game” too at our school.
@mtrosemom If we have to, we can hit some in the summer but it would seem the weekend vibe around the dorms during session might be better than summer deadness. Hard to really know. S is not really at the point of sitting in on classes yet, more at the point of narrowing the field. We would have to go back for program visits and sitting in classes depending on what the school offered. I need to look at options for the dates that we could squish in if he missed a day of school.
@Mom2aphysicsgeek my S is not at the point of really wanting to meet with too many professors directly as he is not clear on what he wants to do, more of the general area of interest. So, if a tour is available that will let you do 1 or more academic interests or programs in a general sense, it’s perfect but 1:1 with a targeted professor is not the level he is at and having him arrange that on his own right now would freak him out since he feels very undecided. He has a general area of interest that is actually somewhat narrow but it could go in many different directions. I agree, and know he would as well, that those are ultimately more beneficial and will need to happen if at all possible. He really likes the general tours actually. Granted we have only seen 3 schools but the one that really didn’t offer much of a general tour and info session, he felt got short changed. At this point it is really about knowing if something is off or on for later deep diving as needed. The reality is with his current list of 14…we’ve only seen 1. I expect the list to go down and some never visited but who really knows. If they all stay, and 4 are flight required, ugh. If we can hit the 2 that are still in session that holiday weekend then we would be up to 5/14 before school gets out and I’d feel better. The other 5 could possibly be seen the last week of august/1st of September if I plan it right and that leaves only the flight ones.
@CT1417 he isn’t really thinking about anything right now lol. We do have 2 scheduled in May, one that is a weekend event for Juniors and one on a school in service day that is local. Beyond that if we did do anything it would be right before the memorial day weekend so after AP but well before our finals and the June ACT. I can’t see most of the LAC’s making much sense over the summer, the state schools are likely to have more students around for summer session but even then, a dead campus won’t help him at all, that’s a big deal to him, seeing the “vibe” with students there. I could pass on the dorms too but S wants to see them. The reality is we got started a bit late on the touring aspect and it will be ugly if we don’t hit more now over the summer and I’d love to have it only be flight required schools that he’s not seen come application time…and have apps in no later than Thanksgiving. I want to have a solid feel for his essay load before summer starts for sure, but also not waste time on supplemental essays for schools that he won’t end up applying at.
Thanks on the FA. I really wish I didn’t have to know all that.