Have been too preoccupied with recent events to count down until D18s departure. Moved S16 into his rental home and shopped for furniture he needed, but with no AC and 90 plus temps he was miserable, so we finally ordered a window AC for him to install with his house mates. Then, as we got ready to drive back home from his school the SUV had a cracked oil line that we didn’t notice until we heard horrible noises from the engine. A long distance tow and repair got us back home. Then, my parents are staying with us for a week and left their pills on the counter last night. Our 12 year old Siamese snuck up and ate one pill, causing him to foam and drool for hours while we confirmed with poison control that he’d be okay. Things should settle down Friday, then I’ll have time to start realizing how much we have left to do and how much I’ll miss her.
2 weeks exactly here. S18 has been playing more with younger brother. Stockpiling memories.
@lifegarding hope things settle down for you!
I started back to work today for teacher workdays. It’s been nice just hanging out with D18 the last few days. I’ll take her to the airport next Tuesday and she moves into her dorm next Friday. S19’s last Meet the Teacher night is tomorrow. Hoping to get through that without getting teary! I need to stay busy so I can’t think about it!
@crepes my D doesn’t have her roommate assignment either, nor does she know her dorm. I think she’ll find out next week (school starts in 3 weeks). She’s surprisingly OK with that but has been really busy “chatting” online with other soon to be freshmen. Guess not getting the roommate assignment yet is good insofar as it’s made her reach out to a greater number of classmates.
S finally has his roommate assignment, just 17 days before move-in! He’s in a triple and one of the roomies messaged him an hour after we got the email from Residential Life with all their email addresses.
Now we have to decide who brings the fridge etc. No microwaves allowed so that’s not a concern.
Anyone else dealing with a departing child starting to “soil the nest” ??
My wonderful, beloved sometimes a little (??) moody daughter is on full blown psychotic mode. She flies off the handle with or without the slightest provocation. Then 10 minutes later I have my daughter back. Till the next time.
It’s normal, it’s expected, it’s temporary. I get it. And I’ll still cry like a baby when we drop her off 2 weeks from today.
But in the meantime, there are times when 14 days seems longer than it should.
I hear you @bjkmom My usually super easy going daughter has been on an emotional roller coaster this summer, sometimes her usual sweetness, other times a bear. I’ve heard from numerous people that they went through the same thing.
Anyone else’s with a D or S who doesn’t seem that excited about college?
My D has been doing the necessary shopping and even volunteered to move in early to help other freshmen move in and with other “welcome” activities, but I’m not seeing a lot of enthusiasm.
I think the last 3 posts are all symptoms of the same thing. This is SCARY. They’re moving away from home, living with a stranger… for some of them it’s the very first time they’ve had to share a bedroom. Mom and dad aren’t there to swoop in “just in case.”
The moodiness, the lack of enthusiasm, the sleeplessness-- it’s all part of the same transition.
We fly out to take my D18 to school (1000 miles away) next Tuesday with a Wednesday move in. She is a camp counselor at her overnight camp so she has been home only 1 day /week the for the past 8 weeks! Not much time home since graduation! I am used to her being away at Camp in the summer so I haven’t been super bothered by this…even though I have counted the days that she is home. This past week we moved her brother who just graduated from college into his “real life” apartment in DC. That was much harder than I expected it to be…felt very different than moving him to school every year…even though he was a plane ride/long car ride away! It felt much more “final” and it really struck home that he was most likely never moving home again and is going to be 400 miles from home. I fell apart when he was deciding what thing to take from his bedroom to his new home! I get teary every time somebody asks me how I am doing (I am starting to hate that question and the comments about being an empty nester!). So now I have to “buck up” and deal with taking the girl to school…am prepping for the tears! I am so happy that we decided to fly with her to school as opposed to taking on the 14 -16 hour drive! That would be a very long drive home!
Had a talk with S a few days ago. I’d seen where someone else’s teen broke down in tears out of the blue, so I was hoping to alleviate any angst S might be feeling that he might not have mentioned.
So after I talk about homesickness, how it’s normal to feel it, even when it’s someplace you really want to go, it’s normal for it to hit suddenly and out of the blue when you were fine yesterday, and how it’s normal not to feel it, too - so after all of that, he looked thoughtful for half a beat, and said…
“I think I’ll probably miss the cats.”
Signed,
Dia, aka Chopped Liver
My D has been away most of the summer, and the dog has literally been depressed. It’s tough on the pets, they have no idea what’s going on.
Having encouraged S to apply to American colleges I can’t now say ‘I’m going to miss you’.
So all conversations have been upbeat and humourous. ‘Like hell am I going to miss him - at least now when I come home I know there will still be half a loaf of bread that was there when I left!’ ‘Like hell am I going to miss all the extra food shopping I need to fill 6’2" legs!’ ‘Like hell am I going to miss being woken at 1/2/3 or even 4 and once 5 in the morning!’
But I had to have the conversation with him - in the car so he couldn’t walk off - that ‘even though I say all these things and I am happy you repeat them when people say “aren’t your parents going to miss you?” you do know that I love you and that there will be a 6’2" hole in our lives and that we will be living vicariously through you.’
‘Of course Mum, I know that. Don’t be so daft - how could you not miss such a perfect specimen of humanity as me.’
I suppose I can say ‘Job Done!’
Something very curious happened. D got a letter from an admission officer at a college saying they are withdrawing their admission offer since they haven’t heard from her in a long time.
This college dropped off the list early in because it wouldn’t make sense to attend without a full tuition scholarship, and D decided not to participate in their full-tuition scholarship competition because it was scheduled at the peak of her post-concussion symptoms.
I’m guessing that by withdrawing their offer, they are protecting their yield. They are a less selective small college in a rural area, the type of college that tends to be struggling these days.
Anyone else have this happen?
Yet another of my daughter’s friends making a last minute decision to stay home because of finances.
I don’t know the girl well, but apparently her mom recently lost her job. With just dad’s income, going to a SUNY upstate will really push the budget, so she’s now planning to stay home.
She had a rough end to senior year…LOTS and LOTS of “friend”-- or, more accurately “former friend” drama. The poor kid really could use a change of zip code.
It’s been awhile for me but I have been back lurking from time to time over the summer. Our wild summer ride is winding up, we completed our big move to TX and have been settled for about a month now. We even got ourselves a cat!
All this move in talk has really been resonating, we move D18 in one week from today. Hard to believe. I get pretty misty and sad when I think about life after move in, so I pretty much avoid that. She’s on board with that philosophy with the added criteria of not really wanting to think or talk about moving at all so we’re almost on the same page. Except I use all my restless energy to make lists and piles and figure out what we need to do before the big day and ask her questions. There’s been some conflict but mostly I’ve learned to limit myself to bugging her about stuff only when I really need to, and she has been content to let me make lists and build piles to my hearts content as long as I don’t shove them in her face 10 times a day and ask her 50 questions about what she wants/doesn’t want. :)) We’ve managed, somehow, to reach an equilibrium.
But now we’re a week out, and I’m feeling like it’s time to start constructing these piles into packed objects that can actually be moved. I think she feels less like that. :-? But we’ll manage.
Meanwhile, my D22 is getting ready to start high school next week as well, the day before we leave. She is… not excited about this transition. So we basically have a houseful of people who are making big transitions and are unhappy about it. Yay! Fun times. I tell them all, myself included, it will be rough, but we’ll get through it, and then we’ll be fine.
In the meantime, we have one week left to enjoy our summer, we should make the most of it! (But we’re not dwelling on that one week left part 
)
Last minute stuff we had to buy / order:
– Underwear. Despite me asking umpteen times in the last 6 months if he needed more. He has strong preferences, so Amazon Sunday delivery to the rescue. We could have had them shipped to his dorm, but Sunday delivery was free.
– Command poster strips. Prices were outrageous at Walmart. Don’t need 100+ at Costco. Ordered from Amazon.
– Shower shoes. Can’t find his size! He’s stealing his dad’s.
Things I made him take that drew eye rolls:
– Post-it flags. For when you’ve highlighted something but can’t find what page it’s on. The flag shows you where your highlights are.
– Extra socks for his loafers. He wears them every day but thought 2 pairs of socks would be plenty. /facepalm. No, he doesn’t wear them barefoot.
Things I made him do that drew eye rolls:
– Google early December highs / lows in Albuquerque. He said he didn’t need to pack coats / sweaters / sweatshirts because he could pick them up over Christmas.
Things his suitemates have thanked me for:
– A set of bathmats / rugs for their bathroom.
Thing he packed that warmed my heart:
– One of his childhood stuffed animals.
DD got up a 6am this morning to see her BFF from pre-school off to LSU. 15 years and a brief move by us to VA for 3 years. It was a difficult goodbye, sad not because either of them is leaving, because I am really exited about the adventures that lay ahead of them, but because it just really hit me that this stage of life is over. One week until DD moves!
1822mom, hope you are loving Texas!
S got a big load of wool socks from my dad, who didn’t need them anymore. He still needs the gloves, hat, and warm coat.
Did anyone attend a Summer send off event? I’m curious what the experience was like for you all ;