@DiotimaDM I know of what you speak about being a bit more relaxed. While DD was off at camp most of the summer and same the past three summers, the feeling in the house now is different. She doesn’t come home for 24 hours, when grocery shopping Friday night, we didn’t have to think about meal planning for the day she is home etc. Also there is no looming departure which made everyone a bit tense. Don’t get me wrong, its exciting and inevitable, but that stress was getting old and was wearing us all down.
DD continues to be a bit snarky, I asked if we could chat last week, she agreed and then it was awkward, she was not in a chatty mood and it was like pulling teeth. Note to self, let her initiate the contact or be irritated, I’ll let her lead. Last night she was in a chatty mood and while we didn’t talk, we had a lengthy text conversation. Last week was her birthday, first time ever not at home. I had one of her favorite cakes delivered to her dorm, that seemed to be a bit of a hit.
The animals seem the most bereft, LOL after having DD home for a gap year, they are very used to her presence, then having her and her brother at home, they got tons of attention. Now that the kids are gone and we are all back to our routines, they are a bit miffed. I spent some time on the weekend just playing fetch with the playful cat (one cat plays fetch, the dog does not) snuggling with the lazy cats and brushing and loving on the dog.
Life goes on, the house is certainly staying cleaner and there are far less dishes to do.
Heading up to DD’s campus this Friday for Parents Weekend, which includes a football game, several tours and, I am sure, some shopping! This is her third week of classes, but she has been up there all summer, so we are very excited.
I have been wondering about Parents Weekend. We got a notice in the mail and I looked at the schedule, mainly tours, which we have done a number of times already. Also, I had knee surgery a while back, but can’t walk like I use to anymore. I really don’t have any interest in yet another campus event.
@laralei We are going just to see DD and also go to a Clemson football game. We thought about going on another less crowed weekend, but we thought for her freshman year she might be upset if we weren’t there when all the other freshman kid’s parents were there.
We are attending parent weekend in late October. Like @burghdad we felt as its her first year and since she will not be coming home for Thanksgiving or Spring Break that we would attend the activities. Dad has not yet seen the campus so its a double purpose trip. We plan to attend a couple of the men’s UAH hockey games that are on the agenda as well as wander around the area, visit the campus and of course visit with DD.
We are going to parents weekend at UTD mostly because DH feels a little left out about not being able to go to move in. I don’t think we’ll do any of the planned activities, just hang out for the day on Saturday. I also hope that the roommates’ parents might come, it would be nice to meet them. Both roommates are in a scholarship program that required them to move in early so we didn’t have the chance to meet at move-in.
I am going to Parents Weekend/Homecoming weekend in October. My husband got S18 settled in. I’m looking forward to meeting other parents and seeing his college world.
We are excited to go to parents weekend. My husband wants to attend a football game. He didn’t not get to attend accepted students day or when we were up for her audition. He is hoping to see the dance department and more of the honors college dorm. We are only a 90 minute drive so no big deal. If you don’t want to go, then don’t go.
@apraxiamom What is ‘Homecoming’? Being an international we have no idea what this is. We are visiting on the mid-term recess so we have a few days where S isn’t in classes but are there the next weekend too and S has informed us he will be performing with the wind ensemble for the homecoming weekend. We asked him but he didn’t know. The good news is we get to see him perform. =D>
@Whistlingal
Believe it or not, wiki actually has a nice, succinct definition for American homecoming:
"Homecoming is an annual tradition in the United States. People, towns, high schools, and colleges come together, usually in late September or early October, to welcome back alumni and former residents. It is built around a central event, such as a banquet or dance and, most often, a game of American football, or, on occasion, basketball, ice hockey, or soccer. When celebrated by schools, the activities vary widely. However, they usually consist of a football game played on a school’s home football field, activities for students and alumni, a parade featuring the school’s choir, marching band, and sports teams, and the coronation of a homecoming queen (and at many schools, a homecoming king). A dance commonly follows the game or the day following the game. When attached to a football game, homecoming traditionally occurs on the team’s return from the longest road trip of the season. "
We were planning to go to S18’s swim meet at a school in a cute college town that is mid-way in between us, S18 and D16 (she would drive up for it) and stay overnight. Well, then I found out it is Homecoming weekend at that school, so not sure what to do now.
I asked D16 if any of her friends’ parents went to Parents Weekend (we didn’t go) and she didn’t even know about Parent’s Weekend - which is good because I kind of felt bad.
DD has called every single day since starting, she is obviously dealing w/ adjusting to an entirely new life. She wants to come home this weekend, but I think it is too soon.
We had many discussions about attending this school and the distance and not being able to come home often, as it becomes costly. I want her to feel we support her but I also want her to realize she needs to work at it.
Luckily she likes her roommate and they get along well, so I am hoping she is just going through the normal adjustment. ?
Parent’s weekend is mid October. I am thinking maybe we could go down for one day of the 3 days instead as a compromise to her coming home this weekend? Her roommates parents are coming, so we could meet them as well.
When do you all expect your kids home? and do you support them coming home often or do you expect them to stay on campus for the most part?
@DavidPuddy That all makes sense now as there is a football game on the Saturday. We said to S that when we come we want to watch some college sport - doesn’t matter what we are just sports’ fans. So by the luck of the draw we look like we will be in for a treat! Looking forward to it.
There’s a heat wave in Ithaca, and there’s no AC in the dorms. We didn’t hear anything from S yesterday, but apparently a lot of kids are suffering. I think relief is on the way, though.
@laralei, I would definitely encourage the kids to stay on campus at least for a month, unless the kid is really having a rocky time. It’s hard on everyone though.
I think I may have mentioned this before, but lots of times the kids will call or text and dump all of their anxieties on their parents and then go on their merry way, while the parents continue to fret. Friends and I call these CODs (Calls of Doom) and TODs (Texts of Doom). They are hard on the parents but therapeutic for the kids!
We are planning on going to Parent’s Weekend for our D18. There is of course a football game on Saturday that we are attending, but we are most excited about the chance to attend the annual Countdown to Craziness event for the basketball program on Friday night. Basketball is kind of a big deal at her school. Her sister, D15, is conveniently on Fall Break that weekend, so all 5 of us will actually get to spend the weekend in Durham. She will also be coming home a few weeks earlier for her own fall break, so we are looking forward to that as well. Since classes just started this week, she actually does not get Monday off for Labor Day, so no long weekend for her.
My thoughts are with those whose kids are having a hard time adjusting to college and being away from home and hometown friends. My S18 seems to be running with it and doing well, from the very limited intel we receive. We did playfully make him send us a pic of the two students he has been hanging out with the most, so we do know they exist. I am sure he will have some bumps along the road, and I just hope he reaches out to us when those arrive.
@laralei I cannot relate as we have the opposite problem, LOL, she never calls and has no desire to come home.
However, to answer your question, I have heard 6 weeks as a recommended length to start and then slowly lengthen. I have a really good friend who had this issue a couple of years ago, Mom and Dad stood firm and slowly their daughter adjusted. Now, she is a Jr and lives in year round off campus housing. Mom and Dad have to bribe her to come home or pay ie pet sitting etc when they are out of town
