D19 has her meeting with her guidance counselor at the school today. Since school does not start until 9/4 the hope is that she will have some time on her hands the next couple of weeks and may be able to do a really good job on the LOR. D19 filled out her brag sheet. She asked me if I wanted to go to the meeting but I told her I thought she could handle it on her own but to take notes.
They ask for parent input on the brag sheet - how much information do parents typically provide. I assume more is better than less as they will pick and choose what to include. Just curious as to what others have done in the past.
I found the parent brag sheet very challenging. The things we think make our kids great are often so similar to what every parent sees in their own child, so what truly makes them stand out? Iām not a great reflective writer, but we were supposed to come up with anecdotes that exemplify our Dās best characteristics. It was hard, but at the end of the day, what we wrote seemed like a very true representation of our D. It was not āglowingā or excessively bragging or potentially overblown. It was not long, in fact we didnāt even answer all the questions because they did not lend themselves to a description of our D. Most AOās probably realize that guidance counselors often donāt know the kids personally, so any LOR is written by the students and parents. How much weight do you think colleges really give these letters unless they point out something life changing or a red flag?
Our school does not do a parent brag sheet so you have to pray the GC knows your kid. In most cases they have very little interaction at all.
Iāve been trying to work on the parent questionnaire for S19 (heāll turn it in the first day of school), but Iām having trouble coming up with the type of sparkling anecdotes and examples they are asking for. I have a couple of examples of him really throwing himself completely into a project, but both were music related activities. Heās not a hard worker in academics, he hasnāt had any character-defining moments that Iām aware of, and I just donāt have a lot to say! Heās a good kid but I canāt really make him leap off the page. DH is no help and would probably make stuff up.
I think S19ās portion of the questionnaire is more important, and the teacher comment form that also goes into the counselorās recommendation is probably the most important input. He hasnāt met with his GC at all so far and I donāt know if he will.
The standard LOR from GC will describe your childā Course load, GPA, rank, and school ECās without emotion. So the brag sheets just help flesh it out a little. Almost all of our anecdotes had to do with D19ās participation in her sport. Since that is a substantial portion of her time outside of school, I felt it was important to let her GC know how influential it has been on her life. She does it for the school as well but I doubt the GC will even ask the school coach about it. They will just lift a few sentences from our brag sheet, so if music is your sonās thing, itās probably good to emphasize. Collective wisdom around here says if you can come up with 3 words to describe your child, those will wind up in the LOR - so choose carefully!
Ugh. Just saw the new Princeton Review top party schools. Delaware gets the top ranking - one of the top 3 schools on D19 list. I know these lists donāt mean a whole lot but still not I need to see right now.
@eh1234 If your kid hasnāt done anything " outstanding" or had some life changing struggles or experiences then Iād just point out how well he does interacting with others in a group setting, is pleasant and friendly, respectful to teachers and adults, makes friends easily etc.
Iāve been to couple of info sessions lately where the admissions people have said that if they donāt think your kid is nice they donāt really want them. They ant kids that will make fiends and contribute to stuff while on campus. Not cause trouble and sit in their dorm rooms by themselves all day.
My son took this to heart and his essay is actually all about being thoughtful and doing something nice for someone else. I donāt know if it is the greatest essay Iāve ever read, but after you read it you think heās a decent kid with a brain on his shoulders.
@eandesmom I kept wondering what the brag sheet was for! My kidsā HS doesnāt have it either, but it is tiny with one GC.
Our counselors ask a few questions on the brag sheet.
Such as :
Top 5 adjectives that describe the kid.
Biggest accomplishments your kid has reached
Areas of growth for your kid
Did they overcome any obstacles along the way
Does the kid have any diagnosed medical things that needs to get explained.
They use this info to write a letter describing the kid. For my kid he is pretty normal, so I think the letter will be sort of more generic. There is not much to address in his letter.
Thanks @rightcoaster, thatās good advice. I donāt have to come up with adjectives, but S19 does for his portion (he gets 10 questions, and we get 4). Heās a little intimidated by the list, not very introspective, and keeps putting it off.
The GC will have dozens and dozens of letters to write, I imagine most will be pretty generic. Iām not really worried about it - just one small piece of the whole process.
My kids didnāt need letters from the GC, but if they had I wouldnāt have expected much. The GC would have had about 75 seniors to write letters for (there were 3-4 CGs, but there were a number of students who didnāt go to college), plus all the regular work of counseling kids, getting kids to go to classes, dealing with parents and students and detentions. I also wouldnāt have had any confidence that any letter, even for the top of the class students, would have been grammatically correct or even interesting.
What does the GC say about the kid who is #40 in a class of 40?
@DCNatFan One of my cousinsā daughter is a huge sorority girl in the stereotypical sense and only applied to party schools, she goes to Delaware and fits right in.
I had a bunch of friends who went to Delaware back in the day. We drove through it on the way back from touring another university, I forget which one. It was about 4:00 on a weekday afternoon. We ended up stuck at a traffic light for quite some time. DS was watching a group of guys weaving by on the sidewalk. āI bet theyāre frat guys,ā he said. I shrugged. Sure enough, they turned into one of the frat houses. All except one of them, who stumbled going up the steps and had to be helped up by the others.
Delaware never made it onto the list.
Hey @DCNatFan I went to the number one party school in the nation ( back then). Guess what? I partied, lol.
Iāve remarkably had a pretty decent adult life though.
Now, I will mention the hard truth. The only 2 kids I know from our town that recently went to UDel had to transfer out due to grades. Parents not happy.
@DCNatFan one of my best friends sons is a successful deans list, Honors college UDel graduate. Played club soccer, a few internships, has a great job his first year out.
Not all are partiers.
@DCNatFan ANY school is a party school if someone is looking to party. Any one that says otherwise is in denial. I have friends whose daughter attends U Del and she is amazing. No worries.
GC/schedule update. Met DS19s GC today. Sheās new to the school, but has been a GC at one of the best school districts in the state for 4 years. She was very helpful, open and organized. She was able to schedule him for Intro to Web Design for one period and a stundy hall for his last period. His potential major is Graphic Design so it will be an enjoyable and helpful class for him. We did not want early dismissal so this was an excellent option. We were in and out in less than 15 mins.
Just heard from D19 after her meeting with her counselor. It was underwhelming as expected. She took her brag sheets looked at it and asked two or three questions. She asked what schools she was looking to apply (computers at school were down) and she said it seemed like a good mix. I typed up about a 1-1/2 page parent brag sheet. Not sure she will use it, but wanted her to know somethings that Iām sure D19 didnāt divulge.
I agree that for most of the schools D19 is applying the GC letter wonāt really matter.
@DCNatFan I think I saw somewhere that you had toured UMBC and did not like it, but I donāt think I ever saw your full description of the tour. It is one of the schools my D19 is considering (along with UDel - her list and your daughterās seem a lot alike!) and I was wondering what you didnāt like about it. (And if anyone else wants to chime in with UMBC feedback, feel free!)
We donāt have a brag sheet, but then again, itās a small high school programāthere are 36 kids in my D19ās senior class, and thatās a big one.
On the other hand, which high school in the city my D23 will be going to is still up in the air, but whichever one it is, sheās pretty much guaranteed to have ~500 in her graduating class. Iām interested to see how different the whole counselor thing for college applications will be.