We celebrated D’s 19th bday yesterday. She asked for a picnic in the park, but unfortunately we had a crazy storm all afternoon/evening, so we had a picnic in our garage instead (and then watched her fave movies). It’s the first year that I can recall that it was only family, no friends or teammates. Her friends from school worked some social media magic and threw her a surprise zoom party- complete with different disparate friend groups and her best friend who doesn’t go to their school (she’s class of 20). All in all it was still a lovely day. Even though she is still meh about online classes she is looking forward to her classes starting so she has something directed to focus on.
Anyone feel like we lurch from crisis to crisis right now? Last night’s involved an email from UofSC housing, indicating that there would be an addendum to the housing agreement - no refunds if dorms closed.
S19 will be in an apartment with 3 friends this coming year. The apartment is privately owned (his lease agreement is with the apartment owner) but managed through the university housing system. In the spring, when students were required to vacate the dorms, this apartment complex also had to be vacated. S and friends thought the addendum applied to them and “freaked out” (S’s words) thinking they would be liable for the rent even if kicked out. They started looking at breaking the lease and renting an off-campus place. Since it is 3 weeks until move-in, such a place would be at least 2-3 miles from campus. I pointed out to S that he does not have a car or on-campus parking that would make this feasible, plus I co-signed this lease that they would “just break,” so he was panicking.
I asked S to send me the housing email but he couldn’t find it in his account, which seemed strange. After an hour of angst, it was determined that the email never went to the students in this complex, just students in the regular on-campus housing. S and friends signed their lease last December, long before Covid, and it contains a force majeur clause. If they were to be asked to vacate, they would not be responsible for subsequent rent, and the owners can’t change that without voiding the whole lease. (Of course, then the students have a housing problem, but that is a crisis for another day.)
Oh, and the reason UofSC housing can do this now is housing assignments were just done and contracts are about to be signed - with the addendum.
@SammoJ well, all I can say is that is one stinky policy but I’m glad your S won’t be affected.
Bowdoin just sent everyone iPad pros who are continuing class during this remote semester, including the freshmen on campus. Kids get to keep them when they graduate too. S didn’t get one since he’s deferring but I’m guessing would get one if he goes back in the spring since class will likely be remote even if they have more kids on campus.
I feel bad for all of our kids. This year is going to be so disruptive to their lives and their educations.
Me too. Sometimes, I just need to feel bad for them and think about all the losses that are likely ahead for them. Not just the loss of big events and special senior stuff, but the loss of normal, everyday life. It’s better for me if I accept the worst case scenario and then if it doesn’t happen it’s a happy surprise!
Right now, D21 is thriving at her day camp job. She’s outside all day, in and on the water, loves the kids, and works with a great group of counselors. I feel like I’m dreading the change to likely online school, with so much solitary sitting/studying. I think we need to come up with ways to have some social time and alternative EC’s . . . The district says they are still working on hybrid school, and I hope they get to start that way to meet their teachers, but I’m not expecting it to last.
My D17 and I drove past her campus today (I helped her move in to her off campus house); her school is online for fall. She got teary and said “what if I never get to go on campus again.” I realize that’s what happened to last year’s seniors and it was incredibly sad. This seems to be much harder for her, a senior, knowing that this year is her last and all of the special projects and things she’s already missed out on, and this is how it will end. I can only HOPE that for our class of 19 hs grads that they ‘only’ miss out on a year or so and get back to their college experience in the spring or next year! I actually think class of 19 was in a good place, all things considered. Not freshmen, yet not far enough along to have a lot of special projects/shows/research projects/etc lined up and then cancelled.
I too am feeling overwhelmed and “over it.” Three kids at three different schools (one high school), school plans,lack of plans, changing plans, move plans, housing changes (for example, the D17 has just moved in to her off campus house leased in May and in the past 5 days two of the other roommates have asked about not coming back/getting out of the lease/getting “random” subletters, etc). Of course we’ve all learned how to be flexible by now, and we’re rolling with the punches, but keeping up with multiple schools/plans/moves/decisions etc has been a lot. Even with one student, it’s a lot.
Hang in there everyone, this is draining for parents and of course, hard and sad for the kids.
Oops! I thought I was in the ‘21 thread when I posted above. But actually, the sentiments are very similar! Mourning the losses, and looking for ways to enhance their experience this fall so that maybe there can be some creative additions to their lives. I agree that 2019’s are in a good position comparatively, and so are the 2021’s, in that they will very hopefully have a solid amount of relatively normal college experience ahead.
@TS0104 I’m in a similar situation with my D17, who is also in southern CA far from home. She’s has been in her off campus apt since January after spending last fall studying abroad. She only had about 6 weeks back at school with her friends before campus closed and they all left while she and her roommates stayed. Her lease expired at the end of June and now is month to month. One roommate is moving out to another place with other friends but another friend is moving in. Her other roommate, who is from L.A., just told her that her parents want her to come home if all classes go online (right now some are still on campus). This puts my daughter in a bad spot since their lease is month to month - the friend can leave at any time with only a month’s notice, forcing D17 to find another roommate (unlikely once school starts) or they will have to move out, and then where will D17 go at that point? She doesn’t want to come home since it is her senior year, but also doesn’t like that this decision can come with little warning! D17 doesn’t seem too concerned but I don’t like the uncertainty! I now wish they had signed another lease b/c D17 plans to stay all year even if her classes are all online. You may have said elsewhere, but is LMU all online?
@4kids4us , yes, LMU all online for fall. They opened up dorms to like 30% so some will be on campus but I suspect this is to accomodate international students. They say some classes will be on person, but she’s heard the SFTV (film school) and dance just went all online so those aren’t in person, well that says a lot! And campus access (it’s gated) is restricted to those with an in person class or dorm. (My D is Theater major but she is done with those requirements, and all of her classes for her second major are online)
It sounds stressful for you and your D for sure. Sometimes I’m glad we signed a year lease, sometimes not! My D seems to feel that neither place (LA/off campus house, or our home) is quite right, and of course, she’s right. The housing situation is so fluid right now, not only with D’s roommates but lots of people that is hearing about. Everyone struggling with the same I guess…choosing between imperfect options.
Trying to figure out if I will be accompanying D19 to move in this year or not - it may be impractical because of the quarantine measures in NYS. Clutching at the straw of hoping Cuomo will follow MA in allowing an exemption for a test within 72 hours. Need to decide this fairly soon in case tickets need to be rebooked! On the upside, D19 has the classes she wants and a room (single) in her first choice dorm. She has one suitemate, who she’s been in contact with and seems nice. Of course there’s still a huge amount of uncertainty about all sorts of things - including how well students will adhere to the avalanche of Covid-related new rules - but as far as things can be on track for what she’s hoping for, they are. Not gonna lie, this would be a much harder decision if we didn’t have close family in the same city as her.
I’ve been figuring out whether to go with S19 to move in, too. He’s driving, and I was all set to send him down on his own, but he got a morning move in slot, possibly changeable to later in the day (it’s a 7 hour drive so morning doesn’t work), but then we realized that he needs new bedding (dorm single has a full size bed), and he might want to take a TV since socializing will be less, so now his car is not big enough. Then I thought maybe we can ship the bedding, but then he has to be there in time for the mail center to be open, AND a health check in has to be his first stop on campus, and it just seemed like to much rushing pressure that day…none of us want him to rush or feel stressed on his drive there.
So, my plan to load him up and send him on his way which is the best virus-exposure wise, didn’t work out in practicality. We’ll both drive down the day before and get a hotel. If I had to quarantine when I got back, I would find a way to get him down there on his own though. That could still happen (my state, OH has a list of quarantine states and NC is not currently on it or looks to be at risk, but of course it could change). I don’t think he actually needs help with the moving /setup part, and we’d just fudge our way through those other timing issues somehow!
I’m so over all of this and glad S19 is taking a break. We need to grab his stuff in Boston and bring him to ME and now both MA and ME have quarantine rules but we will figure it out somehow. I’m feeling pretty pessimistic this week. Don’t see spring being any better and who knows about fall 2021. I don’t want S19 to lose steam for school but we also don’t want him to be having this remote class experience. Even so, I think he’s going to choose to do remote classes this spring since I can’t see him out of school for a whole year.
The more I look at these plans that colleges have for “on campus”, I think it’s going to be awful.
I want a magic ball to see Aug 2021.
Looks like students can move into dorms 2 weeks early, with meal delivery, testing and various support services etc to quarantine before classes begin. That’s some relief. But means there’s probably no point me going with, they will not let any non resident into the dorms now anyway as part of the Covid rules. Hmm…
I will not be going with D17 to NY as it’s not practical with the quarantine and I wouldn’t be allowed to help her move in anyway. We’re still trying to plan out the timing of her Covid test and also have a backup plan in place. We’re scrambling a little since she’s going two weeks earlier than planned. Vassar is bringing in students in stages (“bad” states first and then gradually getting to the freshmen). I’m also feeling pessimistic but trying to be hopeful that some meaningful experience will happen for our kids this year.
Comparing the two schools of my kids, I feel that D17 will be less likely to be exposed to the virus (than at S19’s school) and her college could possibly be able to create a protective bubble. However, I feel better about the medical resources for S19. I finally got a chance to listen to the recent town hall that Vanderbilt did with their medical experts and it seems like they have a pretty thorough plan in place, which includes contact tracing being run by their nursing school. However, wherever there are big outbreaks, all the plans may go out the window.
So D19 got her room assignment - or, more correctly, it was her group’s turn to select their dorm rooms. They selected 8 singles in one floor of one wing of a building, and have already decided on COVID rules. There are 2 more rooms, in the hallway, but hopefully the kids who will live in the rooms will agree to follow the rules. By “the rules”, I mean safety rules for avoiding infection with COVID.
Their corridor is not on the way to anywhere, so only the kids who live there have any reason to enter.
Since our county is becoming a hotspot, and we are down the street from a public flagship which will be opening its dorms, I am actually happy that she is going to be in Vermont, rather than here. She is going to stay and pass the mandatory 14 day quarantine at a friend’s house in New York, and then travel from there to Midd. Because of the high rates of COVID here, she would have needed to quarantine on campus had she traveled directly from here to Middlebury.
Before we know it DD will be moving the rest of her stuff to her apartment (probably 8/15). And just before that the sad goodbye to her BF who will be 4-5 hours away. That will be the hard part.
In the meantime, the life of a naturalist intern continues. She had kayak school the last two days which was pretty grueling actually. And she lost her brand new glasses in the river at the end so that upset her. But DH and she were able to pick up exact duplicates on their way home. It’s only money, right?
For my part, I’m taking D19 to school, because Mississippi doesn’t care about quarantines whatsoever, and Mississippi State is painfully far away from even the nearest airport.
I’ll have to get a covid test when I return home to Alaska, though.
@elena13 Vassar seems to have a solid plan and there are not a lot of cases in that county, so as long as they are able to get the kids to campus virus free, or identify anyone with virus quickly, I would think they have a good chance at success. Vandy is in a hotspot as I believe I heard Dr Birx say Nashville is a city to be concerned about, and I imagine students travel off campus frequently, so that situation is definitely riskier.
S19 will be staying home taking classes on-line this fall because
- his classes are all on-line,
- housing fallout – Hopkins turned (freshman and sophomore) dorms into all singles (or suites with singles) for freshmen. Thus, sophomores will be housed in university-secured hotels and apartments 3 miles away from campus. We do not want to join the last minute scramble of sophomores seeking better located off-campus housing.
- I feel air travel is not safe. Due to reduced domestic flights S19 will have to take connecting flights. – I recently traveled through Detroit, Atlanta, and Austin airports. All airports were packed. All airplanes were packed (minus middle seats.) People near me kept taking off masks except for boarding and deplaning. I did not feel safe even though I had a mask end to end and used up a small bottle of hand sanitizer. (And in these cities, it is like, what is a quarantine?)
@payn4ward Shoot. I hope your S is ok with that. So many kids needing to accept these not-ideal options. I would not want to live so far away from campus in a hotel doing online classes. What’s the point of that? Better to stay home.
That’s good info about flying. I’m not surprised about two of those airports -Austin and Atlanta. Those states don’t seem to be masked up very well. A friend of ours just flew from Chicago to Seattle and felt very safe so had an opposite experience. We are planning to fly with S19 to Boston to pick up his stuff and get him to Maine. At first just my H was going to go but I want to go too and see the house and meet the rest of his new roommates who I haven’t met yet. I wish I knew ahead of time how bad Chicago/Boston flying would be. SW says they require masks and no middle seats filled. My H is still worried about it and thinks he still might pull the plug on flying and drive it instead. I think that’s ridiculous but I don’t want him driving home by himself so, if we do that, I feel like I should still go along to share the driving back to Chicago.
I just flew Southwest from LA to Ohio. Surprisingly, LAX was easy to stay away from people. Also, a nice change at TSA, at LAX at least, is they don’t look at your phone at all (so no putting it down on a reader where everyone else’s phone has been). Boarding at gate is touchless reading of the phone as well. The SW terminal was very thin, boarding was well managed (they call boarding numbers to board in groups of 10, and tell everyone else to remain seated and spread out, so everyone isn’t lining up. Yes, middle seats are open but otherwise both of my flights were pretty full. There are many reminders about leaving middle seats open unless you are family, and, what I really appreciated, many announcements about mask wearing, including that it must be over both nose and mouth, and they had checked when everyone boarded (we were all good LOL) and would continue to check, as long as you weren’t actively eating. Also they said that as of this past Monday they are not allowing any mask exemptions. The weak part of it all is upon landing, everyone groups up to get off as soon as possible, it’s hard to stay very distant from people then. It would make sense to just stay put maybe until it all lightens up at the end.