OK, I just looked it up on our school’s calendar and it’s the PSAT 8/9.
@ItsJustSchool AB and BC are both year long courses and AB is required to take BC. Neither are offered over the summer, not that he wants to do that or that I’d want him to. He may do a summer marching band that can get him a .5 PE credit though. Completely up to him. S19 is checking into CC items in general, as well as online with the GCl (there is a computer science class he wants to take over the summer) but historically the way our districts dual enrollment works is you leave the HS entirely for it to “count”. Give up all EC’s and the HS experience. The only exception to that is if you didn’t test in at the right level for math or English which would not be his scenario. My understanding is anything else, to count for credit, has to be approved by the school and is typically only if they are trying to catch up or double up to get on a different track. D14 was approved to do an online Geometry class (different school district)…but didn’t finish it over the summer so ended up taking Geometry and Calc AB her senior year so that at least she had some calc. I am sure he could audit, just not sure about the credit piece of it or anything before he turns 16. Either way, it’s his thing to drive with the GC.
I would not be surprised if he found something on his own physics wise to dive into, he has done that in Honors Bio, choosing to apply for and surprisingly be accepted to represent his school at the BioExpo. I’ve had zero involvement with it, he’s pretty good about finding what he wants and just doing it. I agree about the non school activities although I am glad at present his are limited to XC, Track and Scouts. Band takes up a lot of out of school time right now.
@me29034 S19 is the youngest. The other 3 didn’t have a clue what they wanted when they were freshmen and all are doing just fine. He’s just his own bird and has been set on this path since 7th grade. Possibly longer if you consider that for all of elementary school his goal was to be a mad scientist. I’m not sure he’s far off from that. So he’s a different animal and I feel I owe it to him to at least understand his options and be there, informed, as he decides what he wants to do. I actually just looked at admission requirements for his 2 top schools (which again, have been there since 7th lol). I am glad I did. If that is really what he wants to go for, and perfectly fine if not, then it’s good for me to realize now we will have SAT subject tests in our future and AP Chem would probably be the smart option for him senior year. These are things we have not looked at all before so it’s all new.
The sports thing is hard. We went through some of that with D14 and soccer. He will find his place. I am grateful to the sport as it showed her colleges that wouldn’t have been on her radar otherwise (at least I don’t think so). It’s amazing how one recruiting effort that while it didn’t end up getting her a spot on the team (I am grateful for that!) did introduce her to her dream college and she’s a happy sophomore there, playing for the schools club team. Best of all worlds. Depending, on what your son wants to do, doubling up may be a better use of his schedule that APUSH. My S17 is sitting out APUSH and is very glad for it. He’s got Pre-Calc, AP physics and AP Language. That’s plenty of rigor I think and fine for what he wants to do. He is loving his regular US history class as a result, he gets to shine and spend a lot of time discussing politics with the teacher. He will sit out AP Lit next year for many of the same reasons.
Not knowing your major should be a fine option for most kids, I think it’s just a matter of choosing a school that will be flexible should you change your mind. I know I changed my mind quite a bit from the first day of college to the day I had to declare.
@Gatormama He can work tech without taking the class. S17 has been doing stage crew since freshman year and absolutely adores it. He’s actually recently moved into a paid staff position. It’s sporadic paid work but still, exciting for him and a great skill to have for a side job while in college. It’s a huge huge time commitment. He is hoping to take the theater tech class next year but would have to get approved for a PE waiver to do so and I suspect his chances are slim.
D19 applied for it for stage crew for our fall play but was not selected. They have more kids that want to do crew than they can handle. I don’t know if he will do it for the spring musical though, he hasn’t mentioned it again but I think he is hoping to. I think we will need to see how it fits, or doesn’t, with track. I suspect he has a conflict. He’s in band, marching band, jazz band, xc, track and scouts so he does have a life outside of school and spends surprisingly little time on homework. It’s a bit annoying at times but it clearly works for him when he decides he cares. When he doesn’t, he can be his own worst enemy.
His schedule has been easy for him this year, he’s actually really frustrated, bored and annoyed in math and I suspect that won’t change until he hits Calc. We keep telling him that an “easy” class is a good thing with the other things on his plate. I do worry a little about AP World for next year. His brother, and most kids at the school, struggle with it. Most don’t take it. I worry he is taking it just because his brother told him not to and/or that he couldn’t stand the idea of not having an AP class his sophomore year when we all talked him out of AP Physics and into Honors Chem instead. But, it’s his choice and he is a different kid. Junior year will be interesting. They are adding AP Computer Science Principles and AP Computer Science A, which is coding. He wants that. That would be 5 AP classes and that scares me. We may recommend sitting out APUSH for him too! And he may do it anyway lol. Guess we will see how sophomore year goes.
Each kid is different, even within the same family. For my son even though he probably will never have a 4.0 I’ll let him take as difficult a course load as he wants because he does much better with a challenge than bored. The problem is anything he views as busywork and frankly there is more of that at lower levels.
My daughter got the chance to hang out backstage at a Broadway play and was really over the moon about it. Hey, she could do worse than get a union gig in NYC. But then, of course, is there really a need for college?
Does anyone plan to attend any college fairs this early in their kid’s high school life? There are a couple coming up within an hour’s drive of us. I have no experience with these (I have two older stepdaughters but we didn’t do college stuff together).
I didn’t start until early Jr year with my DS16. Even then, it made the search drag on forever and was a little overwhelming. My DS19 went along on 1 or 2 the summer before his Freshman year but was minimally interested . IMO , while preparing for college should be the focus of of high school, starting too early can cause unnecessary stress and minimize other aspects of HS like forming social relationships and having fun.
We are similar to @carolinamom2boys . S19 came on a couple tours with his older sister. He did enough so that I can start to get a feel for what he likes. I have my own opinions on where he would thrive. But I think it is too early. One mistake we made with my older D was to get her looking at schools that ultimately she had no chance at getting into because of SAT scores. Since we have no idea yet what scores S19 will get, I am going to try to avoid suggesting specific schools right now.
S19 was dragged along to a few of D16’s college fairs and tours and it was torturous for him. We need a break.
A while back I was asking about online classes. S wanted to take geometry over the summer online, but I was reluctant. I felt he wouldn’t fully commit to an online class and complete it. Then he decided to wait and take geometry next year. I left it alone. Yesterday he texted me from his math class, “This teacher is so frustrating, I’m definitely taking it over the summer!” He agreed to enroll in a traditional (if you call 5 hours day/5 weeks traditional) summer class geometry that friends (and parents) have given rave reviews.
S’s high school is a bit different in that it functions as an arts conservatory. The school is small and as a result the range of academic classes is limited, although it will sufficiently meet all A - G requirements.
Thanks, I may skip it then. I don’t want to create pressure when there’s not really any need for it … yet…lol
For each of my older kids, I took them on one or two sample college tours early on. Then they participated in high school events that used space in universities and involved university students (Math Circle and Mock Trial) as mentors. I wanted them to be motivated and to de-mistify the whole “college thing”.
For my DD19, I took her to an official tour of a school in seventh grade since I felt she was focused on one career in a fantasy way, but not taking the little steps (clubs, activities) or having any academic focus. It was a way to let her tour and make things that were far in her future more concrete as a distant goal. This was incorporated into general touring as a “fun” half-day event, not a “pay attention to this” event.
I think you do what is right for each kid. I will say that formal college visits were really limited for my kids- more of a pre-arranged, official “goldilocks” tour of four representative schools- a SLAC, a women’s college, a large flagship public, and an R1 or two; with validation visits as needed January-May of senior year. These were 2nd semester Junior year into late October of Senior year and half involved a solo visit with a sleepover in the dorm and sitting in on a class the next day (unofficial).
For us, “kicking the tires” of every single prospect was not in the cards. It was sufficient, and kept it fun!
@Gatormama, we took S19 and D21 on a few tours for D16 while we were on a vacation last spring. S19 was politely bored. D21, on the other hand, really loved one college we saw (which D16 crossed off her list as soon as we visited: “too small.”) Occasionally, D21 will mentions how much she likes this college. I wonder if it will remain a top choice when she is ready to look “for real,” but right now, it’s nice that she has a favorite of her own.
Thanks - so maybe a highly informal visit might make more sense…
Meanwhile I think I could use some help with a new problem – My daughter has gotten heavily into theater production this year, culminating in this weekend’s musical. The next day, Monday, lacrosse season starts. She played all three years in middle school and loved it. This year, she is vehemently resisting. We made her sign up, but she is furious with us.
I think there are a couple of reasons: She’s nervous about upperclassmen in general – scared to talk with them, etc., and obviously the varsity (if she makes it) will be full of them. I don’t remember feeling this way in school, but it’s a real thing with her.
Second, she seems to have really clicked with the tech crew kids, and they’re, I guess, viewed as a formal subset in the school and playing a sport is simply not a part of these kids’ priorities, values, goals. So now I think she’s terrified that she’ll be crossing the clique Rubicon by playing lax.
We think she can be both a tech geek and an athlete, but she seems to feel that the sport will interfere with tech.
And I suppose it does; there is another event coming up in spring - a play, though not nearly as huge a deal as the musical - and she obviously won’t be able to have anything to do with it as there’ll be daily lax practice.
I think it’s critically important for her to do both these things - she’ll need solid extra-curricular activities going forward. Has anyone dealt with an activity-conflict like this? Or a kid like this? LOL…
My oldest daughter played a sport for years but when she went into high school she wanted something new so she joined the rowing team. She was a 4 year show up everyday rower/ coxswain. When she went off to college she choose a different extracurricular.
I vote let your daughter do what she wants to do as long as she is doing something. I would not make her do lax.
BTW not all colleges care about ECs.
S19 will be coming with us on 2 of S17’s tours over spring break but in reality, he’ll just be on campus. Our plan is that S17 and I will tour, S19 and my H will go enjoy the towns, hike, do lunch etc. I don’t see either of the schools we are visiting as being on his radar when it is his time but it will be good for him to see the experience at a distance.
@Gatormama I have a tech crew kid. It is a sub culture. A good one. These are smart, interesting, motivated and fascinating kids. As a parent, it has been an educational experience as that is not something either my husband or I did. That said…some of those kids do sports and mix/manage it well and others do not. In general I have seen some of the kids migrate away from the sports for Jr/Sr year simply because of the time conflicts, increasing size of their role/responsibility in the production and course loads. The workload for tech is not as heavy as it is for those on the drama side as they get to skip much of the early rehearsals but it is still incredibly time intense. My S17 isn’t doing sports simply as that’s not his thing but he did manage to fit in both tennis and swim for one season each, while doing tech, without issue. His motivation was different (hoping for a PE waiver) but it was doable and self driven.
I think the bigger question is really for the drama teacher. If it’s a strong drama program, with a strong tech crew, it has its own competitive nature. We have far more kids that want to do tech, than they can place, especially for smaller productions. S19 tried to get on crew for the fall production and didn’t make the cut. She may be afraid of losing traction. Will she be “penalized” if there are conflicts and she has to miss this next production? In some cases, that can mean getting a less interesting position (say Grip versus Sound) because they are viewed as less reliable. At our school all the activities compete for the same time slots and it can be hard. For example a music kid like mine, could not try out for Drum Major because he does tech. Too many conflicts and both want to be “first” on the priority list. My S19 however runs. And wants to do tech because his brother does and sees how much he loves it. I don’t know that he will be able to do that for the spring musical here. He is going to try and it will be interesting to see how that plays out. I suspect he will have to choose and in his case (since Track started on Monday), the choice has been made and is the one he’d have picked anyway. For S19, that’s the right one to prioritize. For S17, it’s tech, he’s actually turned it into a paying side job, a valuable community resource and his community service hours are off the charts. And as long as neither of them have to give up music, I’m happy.
It is hard. All that said, I would let her do what she wants. Finding your own fit and niche in HS is hard enough. Doing an EC simply for the sake of how it looks on an application is not the way to go and I wouldn’t say one is more valuable than the other unless you or she have dreams of an LAX scholarship. “Balance” can be found in other ways.
Very helpful repies; thanks so much.
She apparently is being groomed to become stage manager (a junior holds the title now). So that’s a consideration I hadn’t really given much weight to, and I should have. You opened my eyes to her perspective – I’ve frankly just been thinking she wants to get out of a sport (because she is not the athletic type - she’s a damn good goalie, but the exertion portion of training has never appealed to her!).
I don’t know if there’s value from a scholarship point of view, but I do think it maybe could help her get into some D3 school - a top-tier one that she might not qualify for… so that’s been my thought. Anything that can get her money is also something I’m looking for!
Another problem that could crop up: It’s a small school, she was an all-star goalie last year; she could make varsity and become, by default, a critical component of the team. Granted, I’m looking ahead to something that might not pan out, but yeah, I can see a scenario where both activities really want her and choosing one over the other becomes wrenching…
I’m thinking that lax and tech crew may be a bit much. I’d let her bow out of LAX.
As the parent of a D15, D16 as well as my S19 I would strongly encourage you not to make her do a sport she has changed her mind about if your reason is that you think she needs solid extra-curricular activities moving forward.
If your daughter is not headed to one of the top 50 schools in the county extra-curriculars just don’t matter as much as you think. To loosely quote an ad-com from Virginia Tech (not a slouch of a school BTW) “You don’t need to have a bunch of extra curriculars. If you have one activity that’s fine, doesn’t even matter much what it is. We just want to see that you do something other then video games or binge watching TV shows.”
Even if your daughter is headed for a top school (and none of us can know that at this early stage) it is way more important that she is passionate about the activities she chooses then that she has some kind of predetermined well rounded mix of activities to appeal to the adcoms. Never underestimate the pain of the student/parent who has crafted an entire high school career to get into the best school and then either doesn’t get it or does and finds it not to be what they hoped for.
Stage manager is a position that will require additional time beyond most or all of the tech spots. It is unlikely she could do that and a same season sport. While she could perhaps be a critical component of a team, if she doesn’t’ want to do it then it’s not of much good. We watched our talented athlete bow out of sports after freshman year in HS. He absolutely could not stand the competitive nature of it, and the “jock” mentality. Just wasn’t for him, talent or not. It was sad for us but the right thing for him.
I can tell you from personal experience, unless your student eats, lives and breathes there sport and wants/needs/is obsessed with the idea of playing it in college, the chances of them finding a spot on a team that gives money is slim to none. We went through this with D15 and soccer and at the end of the day, while she could have gotten a spot on a D3 team and even a small amount of money, she chose the D1 school she wanted that didn’t offer her a spot on their team or any soccer money and instead happily plays for their club team. College sports is a brutal life so unless the kid wants it, don’t push them. The kids have to drive it or it will not happen. There are a lot (a LOT) of kids who want to play in college at every level and the recruiting starts early and ugly. It is not for everyone, or even most.
This sounds wrenching to you…but maybe not to her.
Much to ponder here. Y’all have definitely opened my eyes. I think I’ll likely be letting go of my dream for her. Funny how kids do this damned independence thing and don’t turn into mini-mes.
If she likes it, but doesn’t “love” it at the HS competitive level…what about a lower pressure club team?