Had a long chat with S20 yesterday about whether he really wants to go “away” to school next fall (chat was initiated by him). He was only looking at schools about 1-1.5 hours away but even that may be too much it seems. He is somewhat introverted/shy and so I get that it would be tough at first and we talked about how that is normal, nerves are normal, etc. He was terribly worried that we would think less of him or be angry or disappointed if he decided to stay home. So my husband and I both put that to bed right away and said that this is his choice and we are proud of him whichever path he takes.
Then we delved into the various options available. He will still apply to the 4 Cal States he had on his list so he has options, and he could commute to Cal State East Bay if he wanted to (we are going to try to visit there soon). He will also add Saint Mary’s College of California to his list which is also commutable but would be a stretch financially even with living at home. He would qualify for good merit with his GPA but we will have to see the final cost before deciding. We are visiting there on 9/28 (I did my MBA there so know the school well). The final option is to do CC at our local Diablo Valley College and then transfer. DVC is ranked #2 in California and, if he did well there, he would have a great shot at maybe transferring into a top UC school which is something he couldn’t do as a Freshman (we will near enough UC Berkeley for him to commute there as a Junior/Senior if he got in). So we plan to visit DVC and research the transfer to UC path. This appeals to my husband a lot from a financial standpoint
I’m feeling a little deflated but am so very proud of him for speaking up and articulating his thoughts and feelings so well. I feel like he is really taking charge of the process now. I appreciate being able to share my feelings here
@dreamdaisy It’s really great that he’s willing to speak up and express his feelings. CC is a great option, financially and because it gives a nice amount of time for maturity and growth. The only concern I would have would be the transfer. If you’re shy, I would think it would be harder to join in junior year. Are there any other commutable 4 year schools?
@NYC2018nyc valid point about transferring as a Junior. The only 4 years he could really commute to from here (we are in Concord) would be Cal State East Bay and Saint Mary’s College. We can get to San Francisco State on a train but it would literally take 3-4 hours a day to commute there and back and that just would be too much I think. Same with San Jose State and Sonoma State although it would be in a car and not the train. Traffic in the San Francisco Bay Area is just so horrible in general.
S20’s goal is to be recruited to play soccer…but not having much success so far. He was just approached by VMI coach and has a conference call set up to speak with the coach tomorrow. His uncle (my brother) went to VMI so I know it well…it wasn’t originally on S20’s radar because of military college vibe…but he will be taking another look and keeping an open mind to see if any interest is sparked. You never know.
Knowing my S20 as any mother would, I have mixed feelings of whether VMI would be a good fit for him. On one hand I think the strict military style regimen would be good for him - at least he’d finally make his bed! On the other hand, he tells me he’s not interested in going into the military (although he might change his mind). But the only reason VMI is on the radar is because of the soccer recruitment interest. I know you don’t have to go into the military if you go to VMI. But I’m worried that if VMI is the only school that recruits him…his reasons for going will be solely tied to them wanting him to play soccer. His uncle and grandmother think the world of VMI and will I’m sure be pushing for it which won’t help. There will be some tough decisions ahead if VMI ends up recruiting him.
@scoutmom2002 That military lifestyle is tough when its not what you want. Are there schools on his list where he can walk on to the team? We had a friend walk onto a Cross Country team (D3) and loved all 4 years there after her dream school denied her. Keep us updated. Fingers crossed for you.
@MuggleMom - he would try to “walk on” at all of the schools on his list…but realistically his chances of being a walk on soccer player would only be at 2-3 of the schools. We had dinner tonight with his uncle (my VMI alumni brother who his currently in Navy) who asked if he was interested in being in the military. Kind of made it sound like why go to VMI if you aren’t at least interested in joining the military. We’ll have to visit VMI again if this soccer recruitment goes forward and maybe stay the night so he can really see what their “military” college life is like.
@scoutmom2002 I would strongly caution against VMI if it’s only for soccer. What happens if he blows out his ACL in preseason? Will be still want to go to school there? Also, VMI is absolutely terrible (1 win in the last 4 years - 1-50-3). Will he want to spend 4 years losing almost every game? That will not be fun.
@eb23282 - S20 knows the VMI win rate quite well. He’s honestly not sure if VMI would be the right fit for him. But he also told me he’d be willing to go visit to have a more robust feel of the VMI life. He’s not interested in joining fraternities and isn’t tied to wanting a traditional college life. Sometimes, before committing, recruits are invited to come and spend the night, practice with current players, etc. He told me he’d be interested in doing that and thinks that would be fun. I have cautioned him about what happens if he gets injured - would he still be ok with VMI.
waving hi, is there room for one more? Getting my D20 ready to start applying. I’m impressed that some of your kids have already sent in apps. My daughter just opened up the common app for the first time the other day. Essay is not yet started. Most of the schools she is interested in have EA deadlines of 12/1 or 12/15, so that’s what we’re aiming for. She’s a strong student, but not a standout by any means. I work at a LAC that is part of the CIC consortium with opportunity for tuition remission at other schools. We are limiting her to only applying to schools in the consortium (including where I work), as we have almost nothing saved to pay for school and I don’t want her to take on much in the way of school loans. So, she has one reach (academic and financial, as their track record of honoring the tuition exchange isn’t super) four matches and two safeties on her list.
Looking forward to sharing the journey with everyone over the next several months.
So S20’s August SAT scores just came in and he got another 1090. Exact same as in May although he flip flopped from a 550 ERW and 540 Math to a 540 ERW and 550 Math, which does give him an 1100 superscore (the Cal States and Saint Mary’s College of CA all superscore so I guess that’s helpful). The 25 hour/2 week KAPLAN course he took in July obviously had no impact, so I’m glad it only cost us $5 through his school.
So I’ll send both sets of scores out now and he can be done. He doesn’t have the desire to study for it anymore and so it doesn’t seem worth it to try again. He’s really leaning towards community college now anyway, but will still apply to the 4 Cal States on his list and Saint Mary’s since his 1100 superscore together with his 3.66 UW GPA should be plenty to get him accepted. Then he’ll at least have some choice come decision time.
His girlfriend, who is a year behind him, I believe is heavily influencing his decision to not want to go away to school which I dislike, but we won’t force him to leave if he really doesn’t want to. Financially, community college works better for us, so I’m trying to be positive about it. He could TAG from our local community college to UC Davis if he gets a decent GPA and maybe even get into UCB if he does really well. He would never be able to do that now with his current GPA and SAT scores so maybe a silver lining
My son also received his SAT scores yesterday. He got another 1270. He also has a 1280 from his first time taking it. He dropped significantly in Eng. from two 650 scores to a 590. But his math went from 630 and 620 to 680. So he now has a superscore of 1330. I’m a bit concerned with the schools seeing the drop in English score but am very happy that his math improved.
@Marcie123 - actually schools are used to seeing this (scores dropping in ERW and increasing in Math or vice versa) which is why most schools superscore. It’s common for students to study/focus more on one subject at a time…it’s become a strategy for some.
New topic…College “Consultant” Really Needed?
So we did all the typical college tours - reviewed all for “fit” and based on stats (average 3.0-3.4 - no where near 4.0+ GPAs) and financials we settled on VA in-state schools and are focusing on colleges such as GMU, JMU, UMW, CNU, VCU, Roanoke, RMC and safeties such as Longwood and Radford. Common app nearly done and draft essay nearly finalized. Applications to safeties/rolling admission already done and submitted.
We are realistic in which schools our “average” kids can get into, especially being from NOVA, and also what we can afford.
Grandma knows someone who does college consulting and was talked into/sold on how beneficial it is and how it usually starts during Junior year…now Grandma is insisting that grandkids participate in college consulting now and that she’d pay for it. She thinks it would be worthwhile.
However, kids are not interested and I personally feel that college consultants are mainly used for those looking to get into the likes of UVA, W&M, Brown, Yale, UPenn, etc.
For our particular situation I don’t think it’s worth the cost. Thoughts? Either way…now that Senior year has started…it’s a little late I think.
@scoutmom2002 I agree with you that college consultants are really generally hired for kids that are looking to get into those tippy top schools with single digit acceptance rates. It sounds like your process is well in hand already, so I’m not sure what a college consultant would add at this point. And frankly, if they totally disagreed with your approach, would you really be willing to start college tours all over again? I think I would politely decline Grandma’s kind offer
@thedreamydaisy - no, the consultant would have to work with the list of in-state colleges we’ve already narrowed down to. I might consider 1-2 OOS schools that we can always apply to and if accepted and financial aid good enough we could always visit to see about fit afterward. I might just meet with her to see what she thinks of the current plan and who knows she might have some advice that I could use regarding FAFSA/Scholarships…which is where I do need help as to me that’s more complicated.
@scoutmom2002 I can’t see how the college consultant can help with picking schools at this point. They can review essays and applications to make sure your students are represented in their best light and they may help push them over the edge if your students are in the edge at any of their schools. The consultant can also help negotiate financial aid on your behalf, but that only works if you have other comparable offers, and its nothing that you can’t do yourself.
@scoutmom2002 I agree with the others that a consultant would be pretty useless for you and your kids. You have a really good grasp on the process. Our HS is having FAFSA workshops and S20 says they keep telling him to have us sign up for a slot. Yeah, we really don’t need the help.
He got an email from Arizona today telling him that his decision will be available Thursday. I can’t imagine they would send an email with this much excitement in it “The countdown is on! Check it out Sept 12! Bear down!” if they are going to reject someone.
Just to appease my mom, I contacted the consultant who I happen to know personally and let her know where I was in the process…her response was:
“I charge $1,000 package per student which includes review of student portfolio, college plan and recommendations, review and editing of main essay, review of Common Application and all supplemental essays for school scholarships, support in completing FAFSA, mock interviews and coaching if student is called for interviews, decision making once final offers are in. For supplemental scholarship essays and applications outside of the universities, it’s an additional $150 per hour. [However, it] sounds like you have a much better handle of things than most area parents. Bravo. I don’t think you need help navigating the FAFSA or searching for scholarships if you all have gotten this far on your own…I tend to help those parents who didn’t go to school in the US, or have language difficulty, or simply are too scared to do something wrong that may jeopardize their child, or need very specialized specific programs or Ivy Leagues. YOU GOT THIS.”
So, yeah…I got this. The only hurdle I foresee is seeking out as many scholarship opportunities as possible. I see so many “scam” no essay scholarships. And I saved $1000+ per kids.
Even though main Common App essay drafts are done for D20 and S20, we are now reviewing additional “optional” question/essay prompts tied to specific colleges they are looking to apply to (i.e., CNU’s Presidential Leadership Program). So now back to drafting a few additional shorter essays.
On the other hand, he tells me he’s not interested in going into the military (although he might change his mind). But the only reason VMI is on the radar is because of the soccer recruitment interest. I know you don’t have to go into the military if you go to VMI. But I’m worried that if VMI is the only school that recruits him…his reasons for going will be solely tied to them wanting him to play soccer. His uncle and grandmother think the world of VMI and will I’m sure be pushing for it which won’t help. There will be some tough decisions ahead if VMI ends up recruiting him.