Parents of the HS Class of 2021 (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
2604

Fortunately our school gives the honors designation for junior/senior band, so that’s something, at least. I’m assuming that happens for the choir, orchestra, visual arts too but I don’t know for sure. Band kids overall tend to have the highest GPAs and take the most APs/honors of any one group in the school, though there’s a small scattering of non-band kids who are high-achievers too. I do know my D is within the top 10% (how high, I don’t know exactly, as I don’t know all the students’ schdules) because our newspaper publishes the honor role each grading period. Though I don’t know all the kids (class of under 200), the majority of those consistently on the straight-A list are band kids and take roughly the same classes as my D.

ON this note, D was able to scrape by with all A’s again, though we thought there was a possiblity of up to three B’s. Two of the grades came up a lot once the teachers graded old assignments (whew!) and she ended with an A in with a half-point to spare in AP Lang. Don’t know how long she can keep it up, but I’m grateful she made it this far.

I think she finally decided on her schedule for next year. Decided against the historical research methods class (I’m sad about that) because they have to start doing a lot of work and research in the summer and she feels it’s too much with band camp, travel, other summer homework and college essays.

She’s also not taking AP Spanish because the teacher for it next year is truly the worst teacher she ever had (last year for Spanish 3) Didn’t teach, would tell the kids to play lame “spanish-learning” card games for days on end (uno cards with basic Spanish words printed on them) while she “graded” (she couldn’t have been…she had around six tiny graded assignments per nine weeks that she didn’t grade for weeks), she told students that they have to make mistakes in order to learn but then she mocked them when they did…I could go on and on. Many parents (including me) complained and I don’t know why they can’t fire the woman. None of the Spanish teachers do much (I knew more by end of Spanish 2 than D does at the end of 4…) but at least next year’s teacher is nice and doesn’t scream at them. NO one will take AP because they can’t stand the teacher! D won’t be taught much in 5, but will take it just so she won’t forget as much and won’t have to start FL completely over in college. I’m going to work with her independently (once college apps are in and she has time) because I’m semi-fluent and I think she’ll want to test past at least a little college Spanish. It makes me a little crazy TBH… we read a classic novel in Spanish starting in Spanish 3! I ordered it on Amazon a couple of years ago and I couldn’t believe how advanced it was (maybe our version had been simplified somewhat, but couldn’t have been by much. I do remember having to write down dozens of new vocabulary words to commit to memory every chapter, (plus, every verb tense and complicated sentence structure was used) yet she’s still taking baby steps in her class. I try to ask her simple questions at home to get a response back (Spanish 1 and 2 vocab) and she looks at me like a deer caught in the headlights. ARGH!)

So, the schedue:

AP Lit
AP Psych (less rigor, but she’s excited to take it)
AP Calc AB
AP Bio (two class periods)
Honors Spanish V (nothingburger class)
Honors Band

She was unsure about calc, but the teacher is a good known thing (has him for pre-calc and AP Physics) but the AP stats teacher is an unknown. Had been thinking about AP Enviro but she agrees with the greater rigor science along with the do-little Spanish class. With only five classes plus band, with easy Spanish, no AP history or math-heavy science, this may be her least-stressful schedule since freshman year. But it looks OK I think. She will have had ten APs all together, and two science APs for a non-STEM kid. By the time a college finds out how lame her Spanish is, it will too late! And not really her fault (well, I blame her for not being pro-active to learn more with me, but colleges don’t know she has that resource). The Lit, Calc and Bio will be as academically sound as it gets in her school.

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@homerdog, it sounds as if your school would be extremely rough for a bright kid with few economic resources. I’m sure it’s an affluent community overall, but there have to be a few with lower income than the rest. My school district would never require extra music lessons for an honors designation because lots of kids would not be able to afford that. Band and orchestra kids on the whole tend not to be at the lowest income levels, and many do get private lessons (my D does) but the school wouldn’t want to place that barrier. I’m glad they give the honors designation just for sticking it out with band to the end. And FWIW, our band wins major competitions so it hasn’t hurt the quality too much! And honestly, there may be some out there, but I don’t know anyone who has a private test tutor. I don’t know who they’d hire…maybe there’s a retired teacher or a community college prof that does that on the side or maybe some do it online but I haven’t heard of it.

2606

@inthegarden Lame Spanish teacher here, too. S19 completed through Spanish 5 in high school, straight As. Sounds good, right? We went to Spain last year, thought it would be a great place to practice - not a word. In the FL pretest at college, placed into end of 2nd semester Span 1. Argh!

Our school doesn’t rank except for purposes of scholarships that require it. It’s really meaningless, anyway. Small school - S19’s graduating class was 16, S21’s will be 14. Every class has it’s own makeup. In S19’s class, he and 2 other kids were very bright - their average SAT score was 1500, varying by 10 either way. Could have rolled a dice for #1, 2, 3. If you did percentages, though, #3 would only be top 15%. The class behind his - not a bright bunch, the top 10% (2 kids) had SATs down around 1350. Now S21’s class comes along - there are 4 kids (including him) who are tippy top, so the numbers will be weird.

2607

What is it with lame Spanish teachers lol?! Count us in that group too…my son was so put off by his bad luck in teachers, he refused to continue with Spanish after completing Spanish 2, the minimum graduation requirement.

Senior year schedule…gah!! How are we already at this point?! (Yes, I’m going to get sappy lol)…The Boy is finalizing all that this week, he’s meeting with his counselor to iron out some details today, but by the looks of it, he’ll have 2 dual credit (English & Math) and one AP (Physics). DC Gov’t & Econ he’s taking over the summer. He and I set down last night and pulled course sheets for his intended major(s) from all the In state schools he’ll be applying to (TAMU, UT, UTSA, UNT, UTD, TT) and compared the DC equivalencies to make sure they transfer and we’re good! He’ll have 21 hours of DC and then his AP Exam credits as well.

Band and Debate will round out his schedule and he will most likely have Senior Out (late arrival or early release).

He’s trying out for a leadership position in Band, auditions will be in April, he’s probably won’t get section leader but I think equipment manager or second leader should be doable.

2608

@inthegarden yeah our school has almost no kids who get free lunch at school. It’s a district made up of two of the wealthiest suburbs. Property taxes alone would keep most families from buying a home here. For kids who need assistance paying for things like lessons, the teachers will provide them after school and there’s a fund to help pay for things like field trips or sports uniforms.

I do know a student who went to Yale last year via Questbridge. Her family lives in an apartment complex near the high school. She’s an amazing kid but we were still surprised. It’s not a judgement on her but on Questbridge that they consider kids in our district at all. Obviously, she had the financial need but she has all of the resources of this amazing school. I always thought Questbridge was for kids from schools with a lot less support - kids who were shining at a school even though the neighborhood makes it much less possible. Now I wonder how many Questbridge recipients are the kids who have an EFC of zero and are the outliers in that way at a high school that provides them with so much opportunity. Not sure how I feel about that.

As for tutors, yes, tons of kids have them for math and science. It’s big business. Full disclosure, I’m a math tutor but only up to precalc. And I don’t want to see honors kids because I think they lean on their tutors when they shouldn’t have to. In my opinion, you only belong in an honors class if you can go it on your own but that is not the opinion of the rest of the town. I see kids in regular level math who are struggling and really need help. That being said, I am booked solid every day after school and for two hours each night and then on Sundays too.

S19 was the one of maybe three kids in AP Physics without a tutor. Same for the other honors science classes he took before. I’ve been over and over this with the science chair at the high school but she just throws her hands up and says that’s what the town wants and the school even helps some of them advertise on the football fields and in the school paper! I have issues with that and would never advertise.

2609

The Spanish comments are cracking me up. S was a straight A Spanish student in 9th/10th grade (Span 2 & 3). Was invited by his teacher to join National Spanish Honor Society. He had to tell her that he was dropping Spanish altogether. She was not happy.

On a somewhat unrelated note, I travelled to Spain in HS with my Span 3 class. I knew just enough to get by - cerveza para mí y mis dos amigos; dónde está el baño; sandwich de jamón y queso por favor; taxi, hotel Hilton por favor, etc…

2610

Tutoring is out of hand in D’s district (my husband tutors there but mainly middle school). To the point that the substitutes copy the tests when they are in school and then give them to the kids they tutor!! Cheating is rampant. But it’s a very wealthy, connected district and the admin pretty much terrified of lawsuits so take a very lax approach.

2611

So interesting the different ways to calculate rank - I think it’s only fair to either give honors credit for higher level fine arts or remove those classes entirely from consideration for ranking purposes. I wonder if our HS only included core courses back when they ranked kids.

And I agree - often some of the best students are very active in the fine arts - especially band and orchestra; it would really be a shame if they had to choose between their art and an additional high level academic course.

And too funny about all the bad Spanish teachers. Every Spanish teacher I’ve encountered at our HS has been great. My freshman is enjoying Spanish much more in HS than in middle school and my D is taking AP Spanish Literature next year because she loves the teacher so much (same as the AP Spanish Language teacher). The school’s got some bad teachers - just not in Spanish (that I’ve come across)

2612

Oh - and D celebrated her birthday this week, got the prom dress and passed her road test!!! Big week!

2613

@NJWrestlingmom I went after the most popular science tutor. She had copies of quizzes (but not tests as those are never sent home). She would hand out the quizzes to her students. I insisted that the school rewrite the quizzes and was told they are “working on it” but I never believed them. The principal told me there wasn’t much else they could do but we found out that the tutor posted them online for kids who had a password and the school did go after her with a lawyer on that part and she had to take them down. Even parents I know and like have their kids use this tutor and say things like “well, it’s doing our kid a disservice if all of the other kids have this info”. UGH! Oh well. S19 got two of his B’s in science classes without that tutor but also had one of those teachers write one of his college recommendations saying he was the hardest worker in the class, participated more than anyone, came to school early multiple times per week to work with her to understand the material. He did the right thing.

I saw emails she sent the kids in the summer before school started saying things like “science classes are so hard! don’t let the stress get to you and use me to help!” No joke. I got a hold of that email and sent it to the school to show them she basically uses fear mongering to get students. Those emails were sent right to the kids, not the parents. Wrong on so many levels.

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we don’t have substitutes. If a teacher is absent, the kids get a free period. Cost-cutting measure I’m guessing.

2615

S has been going to Mathnasium since October and I see a lot of kids there, but I don’t really hear anyone doing one on one private tutoring around here. The teachers do study groups before/after school or during lunch and students that are doing really well or have done well in the subject also volunteer to go to study group to help those struggling.

Our HS has 45% of students on free and reduced lunch.

2616

I see random posts on parent group Facebook pages about people looking for tutors, especially after the first test of the year, but it is certainly not pervasive in my daughter’s friend group. In fact, I don’t think any of them are being tutored in anything. My daughter does seek help from youtube tutorials often for concepts that are fuzzy. She said the other day that she doesn’t understand how people studied without youtube. I had to laugh at that.

My freshman son, who is in a mostly honors curriculum but has to work much harder than his sister, has taken advantage of his teachers all year long. They have been so helpful in getting him on the right track and helping him understand concepts with which he is struggling - and cheering him on all the way. I swear he has better relationships with his teachers than my daughter who just sails in, does well, and sails out.

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That’s terrible about the cheating tutors, @homerdog! Good for you for standing up to it. Often I wish my D were in a more challenging school system but maybe I I should count my blessings. I really think my child’s mental health would be at risk in that uber-competitive environment. Plus, the normalizing of cheating by adults just has to be corrosive.

Sometimes I worry about the academics my kid’s getting. My H has a super-chill personality but he has a science Ph.D. from a solid program (being vague here on purpose) and if he feels her math/science education is OK I’m more-or-less satisfied that her bases are covered until college takes over. I don’t think her writing is the best, but her high ERW score tells me she has the basic verbal chops that any good college can shape up because I know she’s conscientious to keep up when she goes to college. She won’t need to be a shining star wherever she goes but I believe she will hustle to stay in the middle stream.

@SammoJ, LOL about Spain. I took my D to Ecuador for three weeks when she was around nine. I had tried to (playfully) teach her a little in the months before we went: little Spanish songs and poems played in the car, asking her things like “Do you want to eat now?” in Spanish, and taping big labels on things around the house: “La Mesa”, La Silla". Well, nada. For this coming summer I tried to interest her in doing a two-week (very minimal) program in Spain where kids stay with host families and take interactive classes four hours every day. I had done something similar for six weeks in Segovia, Spain after Spanish three and it was hard but transformative. She said she didn’t want to, so I dropped it. Months later she initiated that she wanted to do it after all (I got all excited) but then got cold feet. Said she’d rather just travel with me…then said she’d rather go somewhere else in Europe. She has always been interested in France and Italy…so Italy it is…AND NOW I AM THE ONE TAKING ITALIAN. Lol! I’m about to sign up for Babbel, Duolingo or Rosetta Stone .If anyone has an opinion about one of these, let me know!

What is it about Spanish teachers? My theory is that they are either REALLY into it, and passionate, like @3kids2dogs has found, or they used to be and got dragged down by the general American malaise about FL, or that they get away with total laziness because they can…FL is not tested the way math, English and science are and it seems there are no standards. My D’s classes only use the textbooks nominally…it’s mostly just little handouts with limited vocabulary. They do a unit and then move on and don’t revisit the vocab previously learned. They should be reading expansively so common words are reinforced continuously in different contexts. I recently asked my D a short question in Spanish using what I’d consider very basic words and I said “they didn’t teach you that?” She said, I think we did that two years ago but never did again! LOL, that’s like being in Algebra 2 and not knowing how to multiply 5x5. I used to volunteer with AFS, and seeing how students around the world are proficient in not one, but often two other languages just irks me no end how we fail with it here.

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@homerdog last year in Chemistry my daughter struggled. She’s not a STEM kid, but she worked hard and got a B. One day the sub stopped by her desk to drop off his card and told her to call. I was annoyed! As if the kid wasn’t stressed enough! I didn’t even know at that point that the subs were taking materials. I just knew that tutoring goes for about $80/hour at her school and we couldn’t afford it! That’s when my husband and I got to talking and he told me about the subs using tests.

D said it’s also widely known at school that the tippy top kids have their own little group and they cheat to keep the top grades - alternate who stays home sick on a test day so they person taking the test and report back what’s on it; the one good at math does that homework and shares it, etc…

Even had a parent call and complain to the principal (this is middle school too!!!) when her son did poorly. She actually told the principal it wasn’t fair he got a bad grade “because that wasn’t the test I bought”. My husband changes his tests and quizzes every year, and he gives different test/quizzes for make ups.

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@NJWrestlingmom “because that wasn’t the test I bought”. A cheater, but a very naive one, lol! Kind of like Lori Laughlin :slight_smile: ?

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@inthegarden I agree with you. My kid’s school is not competitive like that and the kids are very collaborative. I think it’s because most kids aren’t trying for top 20 schools. There is competition to be in the auto admit group, but nothing like what I am reading here.

2621

The tutoring and the cheating is getting out of control. I see people posting on Facebook all the time in our local groups looking for tutors, and I know the kids and they don’t need a tutor. One of D good friends mother is forcing her daughter to get tutoring, the girl has a 91 in the class! D just took the English State exam for graduation and she said she was surprised that they let kids so close together, it was all honors students, so I said I guess they trust you guys, her response was “they shouldn’t trust half my grade, they all cheat”!

We say all the time that they amount of kids in the top of the grade would be cut drastically is the parents would back off and let the kids be.

D21 has a lot of mental health issues and for us we can’t push her, she pushes herself enough, I know she will get into a great college and that is what we focus on now, do your best, put the effort in and she will be fine. No tutors for us.

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@AndreaLynn I’m with you! D’s school is soooo high stress and pressure filled; D pushes herself enough. We’re very careful to not pile on. She’s actually adjusted her college list because she most decidedly does not want another 4 years of the kind of stress felt at her school. She’ll do just fine where ever she lands!

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Same with my D. She was originally talking about schools that had like a 5% acceptance rate, that quite honestly we probably couldn’t afford without a ton of loans, she is now being what we call more realistic, about school choice and cost. Yes her grades have dropped a little, she still has over a 97 weighted GPA, but she is a little happier, and that’s what is important to us. She is hoping to stay in the top 10% of her class, she is #30 now, with a class size of just over 450.