Welcome @Tribegiant! I think it’s hard to get them to spend time on the search process bc as smart as they are in many ways, they (I may be projecting about my own S) don’t know what questions are more/less helpful. Or, in the other hand, she may feel that she could be happy anywhere as long as she is challenged and has some like minded peers who want to be academically challenged while simultaneously learning about life and growing up together …independent from the outstretched arms of respective parents.
Like, I’m pretty particular, but S is much more easy going and adaptable. Maybe your D is similar.
Or maybe she is burned out a bit during junior year and in bit of denial that big decisions are coming her way in the next 12 months.
I share all my gut feelings with my S and he at least goes through the motions of researching more a little bit. But…
For us, when we all meet together with his HS GC periodically that is when he suddenly has MUCH to share! So that observation was reassuring that he does care, but likes the process on his terms.
Imagine that?! ? We now love mtgs with GC. It’s like college family therapy! ?
@Tribegiant, welcome! Has she tried the SAT yet? My D took one of each and did a little better on the SAT (and that was consistent on the practice tests she did at home), Some students have dramatically different results on the two tests, so I recommend she try a practice SAT in timed conditions at home if she hasn’t already done that. Even though my D doesn’t have trouble with the speed of the ACT like many students do, she just didn’t do as well with the style of the questions. The ACT math is supposed to be more cut-and- dried but my D didn’t think so. ACT doesn’t supply any math formulas to refer to, but the SAT does. I was also surprised at how low she did on the science section (26) given that it,s mostly reading and she got a 36 in reading and ranked in the top 3 percentile in our state’s required science testing. She just found the ACT tricky for some reason and will focus on the SAT from now on. So your D might make a dramatic jump in scores on the SAT, you never know. Did your D have more-or less even scores across subjects or were they lopsided? Did she have a hard time finishing?
What are some of these elite schools she like? Maybe we can brainstorm some slightly easier-to-get into schools that are similar to those. What are your D’s interests and what do you think she would like in a school (other than being elite ?).
I’ve thought about the SAT. I think it may suit her better. She’s a high functioning Aspie so she struggles with the time factor and anxiety. Her scores are quite lopsided…nails the reading and English, struggles with the math and to a lesser extent, science. As for schools, we’ve toured Harvard, Vanderbilt and Case. I think she’s very particular about where she goes. Wants a city and be surrounded by intellectuals!
Welcome @tribegiant Sometimes I think the elite colleges are the only ones they’ve heard of. My D19 liked using college search phone apps where she could quickly look up requirements for various colleges and find similar colleges when she was bored. I think she enjoyed the virtual tours too. Of course, I dropped several names for her to look up…
@Tribegiant does she have time accommodation for testing? My son is on the spectrum, what would have been Aspbergers, but that is no longer a diagnosis. He qualified for quiet one on one testing with something like time and a half testing for both ACT and SAT.
Sorry, I don’t know how to respond to specific comments yet. As to additional time, she is extremely sensitive about her asperger’s so she would never seek more time unfortunately. I think it would help quite a bit but she’s pretty stubborn (imagine that)!
I also agree that it’s worth trying a SAT practice test under timed conditions. Of my two equally capable kids, one preferred the SAT and the other the ACT.
Also, some elite schools are test optional. Off the top of my head, U Chicago and Bowdoin come to mind. Check out www.fairtest.org
@Tribegiant Another welcome! My S19 was originally like your D, “sights set on elite colleges.” I forced him to look closely at the stats for recent application cycles of those schools, plus some anecdotal rejection posts from this site, to help him realize that a 5.1 GPA and 1500 SAT did not guarantee acceptances. And in fact, he ended up with some acceptances, more rejections, at the elite schools, and was very glad he had applied to targets and safeties as well. PS - Extremely happy where he ended up - in the awesome Honors College at a “safety school.”
All - our NHS app process involved grades (duh), an essay on character and how you choose to demonstrate it, and input from teachers on your contributions to the school. No mandatory volunteer hours - I think the committee expected that to come through the essay. S21 got in, and I heard some lovely stories of kindness about S (who usually strikes me as a rather flip person).
And I have a love/hate relationship with S21’s license. Glad to get out of the on-call chauffeur role. But we live an an area where excessive speeding, running lights and making turns across traffic from the wrong lane are standard. S21 is attentive, but also overly confident.
@Tribegiant Another welcome! I agree with giving the SAT a try since the ACT is a much faster paced test. My S21 tried both and then decided he liked the SAT better so focused on that.
I’ve found it difficult to engage my son in the college search too. He knows he wants to go to college, what he wants to major in and ID’d two in-state schools he’d be OK with but expanding his list beyond that I think is all just too much and overwhelming. But, I LOVE to research (former librarian) so I’ve taken the lead on ID’ing potential matches and then provide him with a short list to look at.
From a large survey of colleges, it shows what schools each one consider’s peers. Then if you search for a school it shows 1) what schools that one considers to be peers, 2) which schools named that one as a peer and 3) which schools are in both categories (usually pretty small group). The peer selection tends to be somewhat aspirational so if you search for, say, Vanderbilt and look at the list of schools who picked it as a peer that can be a starting point for schools that aren’t quite as selective but may be similar in style. Also, anything lower on the map is lower ranked/less selective. If you have a match school in mind, the list of “peer colleges that also chose this as a peer” gives some good ideas for others to investigate.
@Tribegiant Welcome. As an example of lottery ticket nature of applications at elite schools even with best of scores and grades my D18 had a 35ACT and 4.0UW, 4.4W with 10AP classes all 5’s and got wait listed at Vandy, and rejected at UVA and UNC.
I would have her look at websites like niche and collegedata where she can plug her numbers in and she how she stacks up at a particular school. Also if your school has naviance that is a great tool as well to see how she stacks up with other kids from her school who have applied in the past couple of years to the various colleges. You can also look at something called the Common Data set for each school she is interested in and it will list the 25%-75% test scores for the students who were admitted/enrolled.
Thank you everyone for the advice. Some great info to dig into. She plans to major in English and eventually on to Law School (!). Her school has Naviance but she seems reluctant to use it. I may just need to hijack her account ?
Our Naviance has parent account access. You get to see all the school info/admission stuff and can save schools to your kid’s list. You may simply need to ask the GC for a login.
D21 also needs some nudging to look at things, what I find helps is me finding something and suggesting she look into it. I always say I read someplace and tell her the topic and leave it at that.
I wish we could use Naviance. Our state, NC, changed the weighted GPA’s so the information within Naviance is not useful as GPAs of those who graduated is not very comparable to current GPAs. The GC indicated it would take a few years for it to work through the system but we do not have a few years…
Just to add another wrinkle, she would also be interested in playing golf in college. Her game isn’t D1 level but she’s gotten some interest from D3 schools. I just don’t think she’s into the smaller “no name” schools. Such a puzzle she is!
S21 is serving as a student election clerk for Super Tuesday! 6:00 am to 8:00 pm, it’s going to be along day for him, but his principal happily signed the permission form giving him an excused absence from school…I’d like to think the act of civic duty and engaging in politics beckoned his heart but I sense the $12/hr he’s getting paid had more to do with it lol! Either way, I’m proud he’s taking on the experience!
In the rush of getting all his ducks in a row for this election clerk gig, he failed to mention that this Saturday is his band solo/ensemble performances…the same day we have a college tour and open house at one of our local universities…Lord take the wheel! His first performance time slot is around 11:30 am so the plan is to get to the college at exactly 8:30 am (it’s 18 minutes from our house), do the first walking tour office campus at 9:00, try to squeeze in one session at the Business school then jet back to the high school. Since this college is local, one of his safeties and he’s already an assured admit, we can go back easily for a more in depth tour anytime if he wants.
Thank god husband is in town this weekend because he is going to have to deliver one of the twins to his 9:30 am solo time slot.
@Momof3B that is going to be a packed Saturday! We had one a lot like that this past weekend. Student Election Clerk sounds like a great activity - I think my S21 would have liked to do that. He is paging next week for a day for our local state house rep - also a long day which will probably be somewhat slow and sometimes boring, and he’s only getting $10 for the whole day (it’s really more of a volunteer thing overall), but it sets him up to be able to volunteer on the rep’s reelection campaign, and he wants to do that.