Thank you!
Congratulations!!
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Thx!
Good question. I donât know if they would dig deeply enough to find out youâd already declined a school. Still, my take is that you wouldnât really be negotiating in good faith with an offer thatâs not technically on the table. Iâd put that in the âgood enough reason not to declineâ bucket, to be safe.
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So sorry to hear of your uncleâs passing.
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Finally had time to review the AP exam schedule and assuming my district is digital only in Northern Cal. The exams will be 11 days after S21 graduates. This is def the year to see where the kids end up and then decide if itâs worth the torture. After the year they have had, this is insane.
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This thread moved fast in the past few days! Catching up.
The comments about fall â21 being not fully in person donât surprise me but do concern me. Iâm hopeful that vaccine rollout really gets going and they can be in person. I donât expect masks to go away any time soon though.
D21 was CAPâd at UT. Sheâs surprisingly ok with that and I mentioned appeal and she is not super excited about doing so. She has a scholarship competition tomorrow for Trinity U, which is probably now choice 1 or 2 for me but I think is last on her list. They have to sit in a mock (zoom) class and then answer essay type questions after the class. It would be for a full tuition scholarship and put Trinity in line with the least expensive schools on our list. Maybe the classroom experience will sway her.
The UT decision now has me back to thinking about a spring break trip to see the FL schools. Iâm hesitant not so much about the travel but about sending her where we have no family or support. Weâve had some challenges in the past 6 months and I would feel better if she had an escape that was not a plane ride away. All of my immediate family still lives in the vicinity of UMASS so despite it being harder to get to and one of the most expensive on her list, itâs probably her first choice right now. Unless USC comes through with a full tuition offer!
I signed up with her to volunteer at a mass vaccination site run by my hospital system. I think getting her out of the house and helping someone else will help her mood too. And secretly hoping they are giving the Pfizer shot and she can get one!
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Congratulations!!!
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200% agree. As much as it would be nice, my moral standards would prevent me from doing this.
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Congratulations to D21! BC is such an amazing school. Your D will love it!
My S21 was denied 
But while we are disappointed, we knew it was a far reach for him and I am personally VERY happy that he was denied rather than deferred. He already has 3 deferrals (grrrrr!) in his lap and they will likely end up as denials. Just let the kid move on!
Not a fan of deferrals AT ALL.
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@STEM2017 sorry for your S, but agree that he can move on mentally. Rooting for him!
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Thanks! He has some amazing offers on the table with great merit and need based aid.
He wonât hear from most of his reachy schools until late-March. In any case, I can tell heâs starting to love his Penn State offer (big brother is there).
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@STEM2017 â Sorry for the deny from BC. Glad heâs happy about other options! Donât you love it when you start to see your kid getting excited and imagining themselves at a college? Takes a lot of the pressure off waiting for other decisions! After all, they can only go to one college!
@kls1014 - congrats on the admit and for being DONE! 
This is a tough winter and we all need to, to the extent we can, take a beat. Our kids are going through a lot and so are we as parents. I feel like I see it everywhere right now, so please stay safe and hang in there. With grace and compassion, and a little more time, things will get better!
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What a sweet statement. We definitely all need to hear this!
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Re: deferrals, the colleges should fish or cut bait. If their application is good enough, let them in now; if not, let them go. While I realize some colleges make heavily data driven decisions for yield purposes, those algorithms - games - lack a human element, and the result can be decisions that donât make sense in the big picture.
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I agree. If a school knows you arenât going to get in based on their numbers, etc, then better to deny early and let the child move on.
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I agree 100%. Regarding EA and ED applications, our kids did all the work making sure everything was signed, sealed, and delivered in NOVEMBER. They did this in good faith. The colleges have had enough time to know their answer.
A bit up-thread folks were talking about the moral dilemma of âdouble depositing.â Well I think the colleges are completely immoral by deferring EA/ED kids to the âletâs see if someone better comes alongâ pile. They applied Early Action for an Early Answer.
Rant over 
ETA: Applications should include a box to check, âIf you promise not to defer me, I promise not to double-deposit.â
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The deferral says, we think your application might be good enough. Then let them in, for peteâs sake. I donât think their algorithms take into account that admission vs deferral affects how the student feels about the school, not to mention this is in the context of submitted or unsubmitted apps to other schools.
Along comes the LOCI: âbut I really do like you, a whole lot! And let me tell you (again!) all the reasons why!â
College: âhmm, thatâs nice, Iâll think about it. I donât know if like is enough. If you really loved me, youâd bind yourself whether I love you back or NOT! âŠMaybe you donât really love me as much as you say. You probably have other schools you love more.â
Student: thinks inappropriate words
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For better or worse, deferrals from EA and ED have always happened. Very few students are ever flat out rejected in EA.
I do agree with you though that it can totally turn off a kid to the school. My D wrote off Michigan after her EA deferral, refused to write a LOCI, etc⊠Probably would have been different if they were her top choice, but maybe not.
Itâs much easier to get excited about schools that show you the love back.
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This whole deferral process reminds me of buying a car. You test drive many, decide on one, but the negotiation is long and bothersome as you wait for your sales guy to talk to his manager. Youâre tired, thirsty and worn out. You tell yourself youâre ready to walk out but then realize that you still really like that car, so in the end you probably end up paying more than you should after you have expressed interest. Those who get deferrals are the ones who will most likely end up doing full pay & they know it. The universities need more $ than ever this year, so maybe thatâs why those deferrals are up besides yield protection. Just spit ballinâ. I need coffee. PS - That safety with the big discount is looking good right now. At least they were polite. 
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