Love that story, thank you for sharing.
I agree she might need to look for that kid who is sitting alone and walk up and say hello. Flip the script from her feeling really lonely to reaching out to someone else who might be lonely. Brighten up someone else’s day just might in turn make yours better!
My D20 takes a while to warm up to new people, she is friendly but reserved at first. And last year everyone was basically dorm room bound for the first couple of weeks of school (virtual classes, no indoor dining, zoom clubs, etc). It didn’t bother her, but I know it was difficult for a lot of other kids. She was (and is) friendly with her 1st year roommate but they weren’t soulmates/best friends by any means.
It took a few weeks but she started to make friends in her classes and in clubs, after getting an idea of who they were and if she thought they were compatible with her. She also watched a lot of ‘hit it right off the bat’ friendships implode, explode or fade away during that first semester.
All of this is to say, there are lots of people on campus for your daughter has yet to meet, and sometimes the first people you meet at college aren’t going to be your people. By the end of first semester - my daughter had made a few very good friends, had lots of people to eat outdoors with (in decent weather) and was digging into everything her college had to offer her.
I don’t know what classes your daughter is going to be taking, but hopefully she is taking classes she is excited about and if she is, she will probably meet other students she gels with in those classes as well as the clubs and activities she is interested in.
Our daughter’s dorm had a GroupMe chat for everyone on her floor, people would message on it when they were going on outdoor picnics, or taking the shuttle to the local superstore if others wanted to join. Maybe your daughter could ask the floor RA to set something like that up so that there is another way for people to meet up even if they don’t wander the dorm halls.
Edited to Add: My daughter also asked a couple of other students in each of her classes to form a study group after the first couple of weeks (when she figured out who had their stuff together, lol). Those study groups really expanded who she knew, as then she met roommates and others associated with the members of her study group.
I think it’s really hard at first. We dropped off my daughter on sunday, and spoke to her on tuesday, where I could hear how sad and homesick she still was. We were all in tears all over again by the end of the call. It’s just so hard to hear when they aren’t happy.
I’m sure your daughter’s school has an event to get introduced to clubs and activities, and it might just take that long to begin to connect to people, but she’ll get there, I firmly believe they all do, it just takes time, sometimes. I also did not expect my daughter to want to join a sorority, but the ones at her small LAC are all very small, local chapters, and I think it might be a really good thing and a way to connect to other people (if she finds she’s going to fit in well, ofc).
Hang in there 
@CheddarcheeseMN My dad and brother both went to Bates, I love that campus! You’ll have to find out if kids still go to the Blue Goose, it was a hang out since my dad was there. When I took D19 to visit we went over at 10am to take a picture out front. There were locals inside who brought us in to take a picture with the actual goose, they were already drinking beers. 
@Picklenut6 I’m so sorry to hear that - the first few weeks are so hard. I hope she finds her people soon!!
Haven’t talked to D21 as much this week as the first week. I hope that means she is having fun. Her classes are going well, she likes all of the teachers and the TA for her bio lab. Last night D19 came home (she was visiting Tulane for the week) and we sent D21 some pictures of D19 and the dog saying we missed her. She did text back saying her roommate is definitely homesick and asked D if she would hate her if she said she might not be there in the spring! I am hoping it is a first time away from home thing and calms down, I couldn’t call D21 because they were in the room together. The roommate is going home this weekend and next weekend for family events though. 
They get along really well so hopefully it works out.
Thank you. Your post is very reassuring. I know this stuff, but it helps to be reminded!
Thankfully she loves her classes and her professors. I’m sure in time the kids will get to know each other and form study groups, etc. She’s at a large school but her classes are very small which I think will work in her favor.
Apparently her hall “group me” isn’t really active yet and her RA is not really making herself accessible or hosting any ice breakers. It’s a bummer but it is what it is at the moment.
She did tell me last night she offered to spearhead Lasagna Night in the dorm kitchen for her hall, so hopefully that can happen soon. I think that will be a great way to get to meet people!
Another suggestion would be for your daughter to seek out the counseling department in case she wants to talk to someone on campus. Hopefully they are well staffed and useful.
@Picklenut6 It took D18 about until 2nd semester Sophomore year to find her posse. Sometimes it’s a quick process, sometimes it’s slow process.
I hope there will be clubs to join to help her socialize. I didn’t live on campus so it was limiting. However, I met a couple of people in class who then introduced me to people they knew who took the same class. We bonded at study centers and did homework together. It was the only way to survive and thrive in chemistry class. It took a few weeks to get comfortable and end of the quarter to know who my tribe was. Even then, my really great set of friends were met once I was in my concentration/major department. Two became my bridesmaids and the one from the class after me but in the same dept became my third bridesmaid. Give her a few more weeks and you’re doing the right thing by not hovering but being there when she needs a set of ears.
we were there - 4th floor! the student movers were amazing. we didn’t carry a thing. love bates. here’s to four amazing years!
Pretty successful move-in here at William & Mary, despite real-feel of 105 degrees and atrocious humidity yesterday (a tad cooler today, but not by much). D’s room is tiny, but has much-coveted AC (most freshman dorms here do not). Her roommate seems like a great match. I’ve gotten to see D here and there, but now orientation has started in earnest! I’m going to stay another couple of days though, just to enjoy the area, heat and all. Have been so home-bound during the pandemic, it’s a heady change just to soak up the atmosphere of somewhere different. This afternoon, a real treat…I got to meet @3SailAway for a lovely stroll in Colonial Williamsburg…the first CC friend I’ve been able to meet in person 
!!
Just saw this article in my email newsletter.
Dropped my son off at Yale yesterday. I couldn’t believe how smooth move in was. He went for his covid test before his scheduled move in time and the actual move in was amazing. All of the helpers brought up his stuff (2nd floor, no elevators). I didn’t have to carry a single thing lol. He would not let us stay to help set up. So, yea I was sad about that but didn’t cry once all day. Although, I think it’s sneaking up on me today. We texted a couple of times last night and he has lot of things planned for today so he’s busy already. Oh, he did teach me how to use Snapchat on the way there so we can communicate that way. Although I haven’t posted much on this thread I have really enjoyed reading it and reading about all of your amazing kids. Congrats to you as parents and all of your kids!
I’m hoping that no news is good news. I’ve been getting maybe one short text per day. I wouldn’t mind a LITTLE more contact but I suppose that will come. Watch what you wish for!
I’d love if D21 would step it up to one text per day. I’m surprised that I’m not hearing more. It’s probably a good thing, I know, but I miss her!
In my experience with 2 kids already in college (my third just started), no news IS definitely good news. They are busy and having fun and are basically too focused on other things to worry about updating mom and dad. It’s annoying for us because we miss them and want to know what they are up to, but it’s soooo much better than frequent calls from a homesick kid. My guess is things will settle down after a couple of weeks and they will be more ‘available’ to catch up
I don’t expect S to reach out to me frequently per se but…I made a deal with S prior to dropping him off and it is working so far:
I won’t call or text him IF he sends me a few pictures a day.
No words are necessary. Just a least take a couple shots of whatever you may be doing so I can just know you are alive, etc.
It worked.
I get usually 2-3 pix a day.
Anything from food, group selfies, an orientation gathering, a museum, a bookstore, etc.
I’m thrilled to be honest. Sometimes he adds words but to be honest must pix are self-explanatory.
And then I can send the pix to my parents, close friends, etc. Everyone is pleased.
‘Proof of Life’
I like that, I am going to suggest that to my son. He did promise to call us every Sunday evening.
DH, S24, D21 and I took her stuff up to her room in one trip. She learned to pack light from D19’s mistakes😉. The Samsonite duffles were key—thanks to this thread for those!
She has been busy with orientation almost all day, but I hope to see her tomorrow for a Target run. She and her roommate locked themselves out today because their door was locked from the inside and it swung shut behind them. I fully expect D to lose her key and her campus ID soon😄.
It’s super hot and the town feels very crowded, but the highlights have been hanging out with D19 and her boyfriend, and meeting @inthegarden, who is lovely!
We have heard brief snippets and had a couple of pics but I’m impatiently waiting for the Sunday after breakfast weekly check in I requested (at least for a while). I’m such a need to know person so it’s hard to wait on this but I’m glad he is keeping busy and getting acclimated.
My son continues with more exercising and a diet. His more formal pants looked too large in the photos. He wasn’t one to be too terribly concerned about his appearance in high school so this is kind of new. At his rural school there is nowhere to buy clothing 