My D goes to a large public U and I didn’t buy one. Even if I had, she wouldn’t have carried it.
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I’m glad that your kids feel completely safe on their campuses. Mine do as well. However, crime happens everywhere. I’m sure my mother’s friend felt completely safe on our neighborhood street in a typical middle class subdivision as she took her daily morning walk on a sunny day. Someone raped her in between two houses (and we are talking a bucolic 1970s subdivision where there are sidewalks within 30 feet of the front of the houses that sit on nothing larger than 1/4-1/3 acre lots).
Though I don’t feel afraid when I walk in my own neighborhood and do not carry mace or the like, I’ve never forgotten that crime from 40+ years ago that made me realize that things like this can happen anywhere. And rural LACs are not immune. A quick look at Colgate’s 2020 crime report shows that there were several incidences of rape, fondling, stalking and an aggravated assault in the years covered by the report (2017-2019).
That said, you also do not know what a student or one of their loved ones might have experienced that makes them want to carry something to protect themselves.
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This. And while I did not want to scare my daughter before she left for school I did share with her my own experiences, yes sadly more than one. Things happen and location or size of school does not discriminate, neither does being alert or taking all the precautions.
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Well, D isn’t out at night by herself very often - it would only be to walk the 100 steps from where she studies to her dorm and I don’t see rapists jumping out in little Hamilton NY on campus during that walk. If she’s in town, she’s with other kids. I’m guessing that most of those cases reported are on-campus and between students. We’ve met people who live in Hamilton and it’s downright sleepy when it comes to crime. We’ve stayed in multiple Airbnbs and they tell us to not bother locking the doors. The people we’ve rented have lived in Hamilton for decades and don’t lock their doors or their cars.
I suppose if D were to put herself in a situation where an assault could happen (say, at a party late at night) then maybe she could use a Birdie but she knows not to get herself into that situation.
“Wow I can’t believe all of you guys bought Birdies, etc. for you students, especially the ones that I know are at small LACs. D at Colgate feels completely safe, in fact told us that this weekend again. She doesn’t have any device like that.”
I am surprised at your comment that seems rather dismissive or perhaps just unaware of the risks that students carry be it at school or elsewhere.
(Many students don’t confine themselves to just their campuses, but travel, socialize in a variety of places where a threat to their well-being is a given. As previous posters shared, a crime against a male or woman can happen anywhere and at any age.)
I think supporting others in their efforts to keep their child safe is an approach that is more welcome versus bragging about how your D doesn’t need such a thing would be better received.
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Exactly. The comment came off as insensitive to me which is why I said something.
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It wasn’t a judgement at all. I was just surprised. If our D were in an urban school walking around at night, I’m sure that I would have thought to send her with some device. I shouldn’t have bothered commenting.
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I think you’re right. You shouldn’t have commented. The victim blaming is rough to read.
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Absolutely agree!
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What school does your daughter attend @TVBingeWatcher2 ? That’s a fairly comprehensive safety tool box.
Texas Tech… It is a 40K large campus. D walks all over it. So safely is of the upmost importance to both of us.
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I actually got a set of whatever everyone suggested for my daughter, nieces, and myself (BTW, Target ships pepper spray gel to CA while Amazon does not, as I found out this week. Amazon did ship the kabutan). I’ve gone back to business traveling and as much as my travels come with maximize safety precautions, with all the stuff that’s been happening to minority groups, I don’t have the privilege not to worry.
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I can’t imagine being dismissive of the fact that a crime can happen anywhere, anytime and not preparing a young person for that.
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It’s important for students to be aware of course. I do wonder how many parents send their kids to school with pepper spray and the kids actually use it correctly. When I lived in NYC, I had it on my key chain. If I was walking alone at night, I had my key chain with the pepper spray in my hand. That also allowed me to walk right into my building quickly once I got there instead of fumbling for my keys in front of my door. For those of you who sent spray with their student to college, I wonder how many have that spray in the bottom of their bags when they walk around. And where do they have it when they are at a party where assault might be most likely to happen? Just seems like a false sense of security unless the student has it at the ready in every situation.
Our D knows to be aware when alone at night (which I already said hardly ever happens and when it does she’s three min from her dorm). She knows not to go to some boy’s room unless they are dating for real in the day light sober. She knows you stay with your friends at a party. She knows to pour her own drink and keep an eye on it. In her case, I was just trying to say that I don’t think pepper spray would honestly help.
Wow, guys. I think homer got the message.
For what it’s worth, I personally did not interpret the initial post as some others, as can be seen by my more lighthearted follow up. I’m not discounting your opinions at all and have been given food for thought by the comments and stories shared here. Surely we can agree we’re all doing our best with our own kids, which absolutely includes keeping them safe. As someone wisely pointed out, none of us knows another’s experiences that may influence their views.
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If you are confident that your daughter makes good choices, be as confident that our daughters can also make similar good choices by not throwing the pepper spray at the bottom of their backpacks.
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All I’d say is that you can look up crime stats here, if you don’t know what’s happening on your kid’s campus:
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One reason I was glad to learn about the Birdie is that it is allowed in carryons when flying, unlike pepper spray or mace. My D has a Maymester abroad so that was an additional reason to purchase, along with her summer internship in a questionable area. She’s carried pepper spray for years, but I like that the Birdie doesn’t need to be in close proximity to the source of danger to be effective.
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I’ve looked at the stats for various schools. They aren’t really detailed enough so you need to know the school pretty well and maybe compare these school stats to the local town’s stats and then also know how much your student is in the town. I haven’t looked up Hamilton, NY’s crime stats but, just going by the resident’s experiences who we know who live there, crime is almost zero. I have to infer, then, that most assaults are happening on campus and very likely are between students. So then we prepare our D for those situations. Our S19’s LAC town also has crime but I think students have every reason to feel very safe both on campus and in the town. Everyone has their own comfort level with the safety of any particular area. I never said any area was completely crime free. My point was that lots of kids go to school in areas with pretty darn low crime stats. They know in general to be aware of their surroundings but I don’t think that every student (again, depending on comfort level and school!!) need to bring pepper spray.
this discussion started because a poster asked what his D should bring to college next year. Someone mentioned a Birdie and pepper spray. My response was that I was surprised - basically that, when asked what to bring to college, that was someone’s first answer.
I looked up Colgate. During the 3-year period from 2018-2020, there were 13 rapes and 12 fondlings ON CAMPUS. That seems reasonably detailed to me. Keeping in mind that 2020 was the beginning of the pandemic.
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