Go Rams!
Worth remembering: Time spent on CC will lead you to start thinking otherwise, but there are actually a lot of options for students who fall below 4.0/1600/captain of both the cheer and football squads.
Okay, yeah, I exaggerate. But remember, the vast majority of colleges in this country are either open-access or something close to it. And of the over 2,500 4-year nonprofit colleges in the United States, a massive fraction of them provide a world-class education. (As do, for lower-division coursework, most of our community colleges.)
CC would lead you to believe that if you donāt go to a HYPSM or WASP college, your life is forever ruined. In actual fact, if you get a bachelorās degree from a regionally-accredited nonprofit college, youāre good.
So neither parents nor kids should stress about not having a 4.0/36. A non-perfect GPA will get you into a plenty good college, and a good but imperfect GPA can even get you a great scholarship. Heck, a 3.7 plus a 30āboth of them above average, but way too low to even hope for anything according to much of the chatter on CCāwill get you full tuition plus housing at Troy University. At the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff, a 3.5/23 (yes, 23!) wonāt get you full OOS tuition, but itāll guarantee you an award thatās close to it. (And so on.) Yeah, these arenāt the University of Virginia or anything, but theyāre still decent colleges with a laser focus on student success.
Anyway, Iāll get off my soapbox now.
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My Dās HS too - a 4.0 is an A+ average (98% or above). Almost no one has that. The colleges figure it out, they know how the HS grades from the school report and they recalculate. My daughter had a 3.8 but thatās more than an A at her school. Classmates were accepted to very selective schools. Admission officers figure it out.
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Our '23 is a D, not an S, but I just ordered that book because it sounds like it might be relevant. She doesnāt lack intelligence, just maturity and motivation, which are possibly more important for getting through high school. She also missed a lot of school in the first month or so for various reasons. The first semester ends in a couple of weeks, and weāre hoping she can bring her grades up enough to: 1. avoid summer school, and 2. keep at least some of the schools that have been on her list. Sheās not looking at particularly elite schools. They felt like fairly safe bets after sophomore year, but if she isnāt able to turn things around quickly, theyāll be reaches.
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Similar to our situationā¦absences, dropping grades, college list shifting and it was not elite to start. Hope you like the book; I read it as the parent of a son but so much of what resonated with me could apply to any genderā¦and, spoiler alert, it is about maturity, and ambivalence. I started a thread about it a while back.
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Great post! Thanks for the ārestā of our kids.
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Those of us worrying about the grades and the scores (me included) ā I think we underestimate at our peril the impact the pandemic has had/is having on our kids.
This is not a normal time. They are not OK. We have the maturity and perspective of decades to guide our reaction to events (and clearly, lots of adults out there are missing both). They have neither of these tools, and quite a bit of physical and psychological chaos on a good day. Things that kids are normally going through are exacerbated.
I try to remember to cut my kid more slack than usual - Iām not always successful - but itās worth putting a Post-It note somewhere, I think.
Iād like to think the colleges are remembering this also, but maybe the TO policy is the only thing weāll see that theyāre doing differently.
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The other concern I have regarding this class is in their social maturity although weāve seen the opportunities coming back, whether itās Football games or school Dances. When I see the Juniors at those events they act more like freshman and seem to have a hard time knowing what to do in an in-person group setting. At least with this class Iām hopefull they get a normal senior year.
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Agree 100% that the kids are not alright. Weāve been telling our kids since March 2020 that the situation is not great (to put it lightly) and wouldnāt be improving for quite some time. We also said, point blank, grades are not the be all and end all during a pandemic - health and well-being is.
Did our kids still stress a bit with grades? Yes, but weāve continued to reiterate that their grades during a pandemic just arenāt even on the first 10 pages of things we are concerned about - do their best, try hard, and learn what you can. Donāt worry about the grades - there will be plenty of schools to attend, no matter what. And great educations can be had at lots of different institutions.
If some colleges are concerned during a pandemic that a student doesnāt have a pristine GPA, well then those colleges arenāt right for that student. I firmly believe a college search should be about finding the right fit for the student (cost, campus, philosophy of the institution); not necessarily the highest ranked school to which a student can gain admission. Finding the college that wants your student as much as your student wants to go to the college.
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I wonder if ā and sort of hope that ā gap years will increase with this group. As others have said, there is a level of maturity and responsibility missing for some of these kids because of the pandemic. I hope that time and regular life experience is all they will need. If something fairly dramatic doesnāt change around here, Iād encourage it for our D23.
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i just keep thinking about the youth and young elementary students and the affects that masks have on so many things like speech, language development, reading facial expressions, etc.
My s20 had speech issues that affected his language arts development. (eg: Couldnt say the ārā sound, substituted with āwā and then in his writing for years he would use a āwā for an ārā). Without the mouth modeling and the clear sounds, this would be even harder.
(not anti-mask. Just thinking of yet another repercussion from all of this).
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College, not high school, but I teach phonetics in parts of some of my linguistics courses. My university is providing clear masks for faculty who want them, and so I of course use them, because otherwise it would be astronomically more difficult.
There are options where thereās a need.
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Iām encouraging S23 to take a gap year. Between remote learning and pandemic restrictions, his spirit has been dampened. And, yes, his maturity level too. Our family has discussed living somewhere else (possibly abroad) for awhile. We all need a hard reset.
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Ya know, I was thinking seriously about a gap year also.
But ā¦ what pressure is a gap year designed to ease? The stress of high school senior year? Or the stress of first year of college? Or both?
Thinking it through, I figured out that you would still have to apply with the rest of your senior class. If you take the year off before starting the application process - hear me out - I donāt think you gain much, if anything.
Say youāre a 23 HS grad who decides to skip the application cycle. You donāt have the pressures in the senior year of applying to college. But you most certainly still have the pressures of doing well - maybe even moreso, because if youāre not applying this cycle, then colleges a year later will have the luxury of seeing all four years of your grades on your official transcript as they assess whether to admit you or give you merit. So still grade pressure/AP pressure in senior year.
So you graduate. June 2023. And when are applications due for the incoming class of 2024? Fall 2023.
So how much of that gap āyearā do you actually get? Not much.
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I agree that delaying the application process isnāt the goal. They would still apply next year, then defer admission for a year. Their spot will be there for them a year later, so they can take some time and do something different, whether itās work or travel or a service program. I would think a gap year could give kids time to mature and to breathe, take a break from school, which can be a real grind for some.
Well before the pandemic when we toured schools with our D21 (who was desperate to be back in a classroom after a mostly virtual senior year and didnāt consider a gap year for a second!), I remember more than a few admissions people saying that they encouraged gap years for those reasons. I know itās not the case at all schools, and some donāt even allow deferrals, but it might make sense for our D, especially given what a disjointed high school experience our 23s have had.
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When Iāve talked to my D23 about the possibility of taking a gap year (deferring, post-application) sheās worried that sheād be too out of touch with the school routine after a full year off to be able to go back.
Personally, Iād love to have some more time with her, especially absent the stress of AP classes and exams and all the rest. But as she points out, even when she goes back to school after a summer break she feels like sheās forgotten a ton. A whole year might get her out of the groove entirely.
I understand it, but it makes me sad!
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Yes, exactly. S23 will still apply to colleges next cycle as his application will be most competitive then. His gap year experience would be more rest and relaxation than resume enhancement.
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my d23 is young for her class. iām slightly curious about a gap year - and am not quite sure what you all mean with applications.
if your kid is applying to elite schools - you would apply with the rest of the 2023s, get acceptance and then just defer a year? OR - not apply at all; wait a full year, and apply with 2024s?
how about to merit offering schools - not super elite? when would you apply?
would you ask the colleges first about deferment and gap year possibilities?
Schools have different policies about gap years, and some have changed those policies, at least temporarily, because of the pandemic. It seems the safest plan would be to have the student apply during their senior year. During the application process you/they would check with the schools to see what their policies are with regard to gap years.
My understanding is that if a school allows gap years, they will typically honor the acceptance itself as well as any merit offers. Iād recommend getting that in writing, though, in case the standards/ranges change from one year to the next. Of course, need-based aid would depend on the FAFSA/CSS for the attendance year.
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Some elite schools have gap year programs or at least they did before the pandemic. These were generally doing service in some remote place but Iām sure theyāve been canceled the last 2 years but may be back by 2023.