One of the reasons, my spouse and I got a dog. D18 and D21 leave home tomorrow after the holiday. 
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I am beyond ready for S23 to leave as well. I love him and am proud of him but man, soiling the nest is real. He is totally oppositional most of the time. I know he is just anxious and struggling with the next steps. But man, I will love not being such a close range target for his negative feelings. There has only been a fleeting minute or two of him showing any respect or appreciation this year. After a rough winter last year, he got the adhd diagnosis and started seeing psych this spring. Its been slow progress. I know he will come around. He just needs time (AND space).
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Iām waiting for summer until my son craps the nest. 
This is a real phenomenon, been through it twice.
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My friends and I have discussed this in depth. It is absolutely real! Experienced it with my 2 oldest. Sadly S23 has been doing it since he was born, LOL. I hope it will not get worse.
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D23 submitted her 13th (and final- yay!) application last night! Still have a few scholarship essays etc. to knock out but excited for her to be done with the bulk of it! Expecting lots of notifications over the next 6+ weeks so should be an exciting/stressful time. 
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I could have written this. The struggle is real.
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Iām so sorry and feel the same way. I will miss those folks I enjoy seeing at events yet donāt get together with them outside of that. We should have a word for those folks. Like āfriend liteā or something!
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Thanks for the tip! Northeastern is one on S23 list of top for CompSci. He applied EA but we live too far go visit - planned on doing that if he got in. Itās one of two reaches that he wonāt have actually had the opportunity to visit.
full tuition or more is too good to walk away from
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Iām curious - what would you do if it were full tuition from a ālesserā school? Say, a school ranked #200? Vs. full pay at a āgoodā school. Say, ranked 40? And the major was available at both schools, and they were similar in size and type (i.e.: both LACs or both state flagships etc)?
Yep, because the school an undergraduate degree comes from is not that important when you need graduate school. My kids are choosing not to be in debt for undergraduate education.
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A thousand years ago, I chose free tuition at a lesser college (being from PA, I didnāt really know much about WPI - Worcester Polytechnic Institute) instead of shelling out tons of money for NYU Stern business school.
I am so grateful for my decision because I thrived at WPI, while graduating with a small amount of loans.
I would still be paying off NYU loans now if I had gone that route.
The money I saved by attending WPI I used for my full-price MBA.
Good luck.
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Depends on the field of study and career plans.
I got a full ride as an undergrad to a small state school. Went on to a highly rejective grad school. This was many years ago but most PhD programs will do on-site interviews that are disguised as visits. A strong GRE score and good grades get you through the door but the interview often makes or breaks the deal.
I recall during my visit to my eventual grad school, there were two kids: One from Brown and another from CMU. Both were eventually rejected. One hilariously went out and partied until early morning and showed up semi-drunk. The other one basically tried to impress on anyone and everyone how her undergrad research was superior to anything else that was being done at the visiting school.
My classmates came from various schools ā Duke, Penn State, Butler, Michigan State, UCB, Brandeis and a couple of other ones I forget.
One of my best friends became an investment banker at a bulge bracket firm. He was the only one I know of that even knew what investment banking was, or management consulting. But, he did his bit and got a job as an analyst. Took a lot of effort and a CPA before he was hired on. He was an accounting and finance double major. Recently made bank by taking a company public as CFO. When I was in grad school, every major bank and consulting company came to recruit on campus along with tech companies like Apple and Microsoft.
The quality of education I got at my undergrad was superior because Prof. X at my grad school cared less about teaching versus doing what made him/her successful, which was research. Teaching was left to faculty that did not have grants and/or tenure. The former were bitter despotic menaces and the latter more focused on getting $$ because that was going to be the only thing that mattered in the end. YMMV.
Resource wise, my undergrad school had nothing. Grad school had everything. I was taught at my undergrad and learned as a grad. Both helped in different ways.
So, going to a name brand school helps a lot depending on what you want to do and there is a wow factor if you go to certain schools. But for many professions, what you do as an undergrad ends up meaning more. Also, following up on a previous comment, name brands are ivies, and a few schools like that. Like I stated on another post on a different thread, no one is going to fall over for a student from Case Western over UNM. At least not me.
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This is really interesting. Iām sure it matters more in some majors vs. others.
I remember when I was middling along in my 30s in my career. Not doing great, but working in NYC. I was dating a guy at the time who was at a much better company. He was a bit of a jerk and he told me once that the reason I wasnāt at his company or an even better company was because of where I went to school. He went to Yale and Oxford - I hadnāt gone to an Ivy or anything even remotely close - I went to a no-name LAC in flyover country. That made all the difference, as far as he was concerned.
Twenty years later, heās dead and Iām at one of the top companies in our field (where he never managed to rise to).
It definitely took me longer. But at least in my career, where I went to school was not as important as what I did with my education.
That said! I think it matters for law school, if you want Big Law. And I think it matters for finance? Though my eyes glaze over at the whole concept, so thatās all Iāve managed to figure out.
Most other careers, yeah, Iām living proof that it aināt all that.
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Well, that took a dark turnā¦ 
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Take the scholarship.
Love the school that loves you.
And also appreciate the fact that if youāre that comparatively stellar at the front end youāre likely going to get better mentoring opportunities from faculty at #200 than you would have at #40.
(And this from someone whose D23 is not going to grad school, so the āDoesnāt matter where your first degree is fromā line doesnāt apply here.)
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Thanks for sharing. Iām interested in some kind of investment banking or private equity job in the future. So far, Iāve gotten a full ride at UT Dallas, and am waiting to hear back from Fordham (also likely full ride due to National Merit). Would you suggest picking one of these colleges over some kind of second-tier finance program (not Wharton, Harvard etc.) but Duke, Northwestern, UChicago, Berkeley etc.?
My mom has been at pwc for 20+ years and she did her undergrad in India. Sheās leaning toward Fordham for me because she stresses that itās all about networking. Iām not sure because I suspect things are different in finance. Iāve heard bulge bracket IB jobs, especially, are looking for undergrad prestige
Probably for finance although I am not so sure. I do not see many that live to do IB for 30-40 years. Most flame out after 4-5 years. My friend did ā used his CPA and IB background to work at various companies in corporate finance before the startup bonanza. His exact words to me when he quit IB was that he did not want to be a 45 year old divorcee who did not know his kids that well!
My DDās current BF just got hired as IB analyst. He told my daughter that he does not see himself long term doing IB.
Law school ā yes, probably true. Donāt know too many lawyers. I try to stay away from them. But one from our company once told me that he would not consider someone for a position unless he/she went to a tier 1 school. In NC, those are Duke, UNC and Wake Forest. So, if you went to Campbell or NCCU, you were not to be hired. Not sure how pervasive that belief is since everyone has to pass the board exam.
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Paging @catcherinthetoast who is an IB with 30+ years of experience. He is a much better person for advise.
Also remember that there are IB firms of various sizes and scope. Ditto private equity. I have to imagine that Fordham will at least give you more opportunities to network in NYC. In fact, when I interviewed for associate positions (Research side for IBā¦many moons ago; full disclosure: I did not make it past round 2 at all three large firms where I interviewed lol ā JPM, Goldman and Bank of America/Merrill), I met a ton of kids that went to NYC/adjacent colleges. Babson is one I remember the most as they had a strong contingent. Cooper Union had a few kids.
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