Serious question… have they considered a gap year? I think many, many kids would benefit from taking a year or two away from school, to travel and get some work experience before going back to school. Of course, some just waste the time, but a lot get some real serious reflection on who they are and what they want to do…
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We are looking at similar numbers, 55k for the private school option, vs. public school options with merit (or in state). For us, 55k is within budget but it’s a different story from paying 30k. The question is which option would be better for S23 and we don’t really know that yet. He needs to visit.
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55K is just tuition correct? With room and board that is easily like 70 to 80K? All the privates my DD is interested are easily 70s to 80k with room, dining, etc.
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I feel like D23 gets it. We are not eligible for financial aid. We are very comfortable and get that we are fortunate. I wouldn’t say we are frugal - but we are definitely not spend-y people and neither is D23. She just bought a gorgeous prom dress for $65 - I offered to do the whole fancy dress salon thing and she shot that down as she will probably only wear the dress once. Practical. With college, she has her spreadsheet, her private colleges offers with merit have mostly come in line with our state flagship…she already eliminated the most expensive one. And now she knows the next step is reaching out to her top choices to see if they will meet her best merit awards…she’s kind of into the process. So she’s very mature…in some ways!! In others…
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No, 55k total COA after merit (CWRU w/33k merit)
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I think gap years can be really valuable for some kids. I’m not sure if it would be for my kids. And for them I think it would make college admissions even trickier than they already are as homeschoolers.
I think the ideal for S23 (mild ASD) would be doing a couple of years at a really academically challenging college, where we lived close enough for him to fully participate in campus life, but he could still sleep at home & have regular contact with us for social & emotional support. Over that time he would ideally learn how to transition his support to resources outside of us, and then be able to be on-campus or on his own for the last 2 years. But we’re not close enough to any college to do that. So we’re trying to figure out which of his options will best achieve those goals.
S24 would probably do best with a couple of years of part-time school, part-time work in fields he might be interested in to try to better understand himself and what he wants out of life. We’re thinking a co-op school might be a good fit for him for that reason. But he is absolutely the kind of kid I could see changing majors 4 times and taking 6 years to graduate, but then being really successful in whatever he settled on.
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We all know the cliches ‘more than one way to skin a cat’ ‘there is not one size that fits all’
Really there a million factors that affects the decision our kids are making. Ironically having options can make the decision tougher. For me personally the line is when you have to start taking out loans. My wife and I lived under the pressure loans right after college. It affects you for sure. Now taking out a loan can be a good investment depending on what degree you are getting. For some degrees it does matter from where. Also for some careers the network of your school plays a role. But for me debt free means freedom.
I do have a philosophy if a school has 10K+ students that you should be able to find your people. You have to put yourself out there, but there has to be someone that is similar to yourself and you can be friends. A lot of it really depends on the students attitude.
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Wow that is even cheaper than some publics OOS like Umich, UVA, and a William and Mary. Some public schools COA OOS are expensive.
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Our CA public schools are some of the worst for that. Luckily we already live here so we do not have to weigh the value of $67k (or whatever it is) for a UC. Just hoping that he gets in to the ones he likes!
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What are your class of 23 students planning for this summer? Covid and a family illness limited our options in past summers. My ;23 daughter mostly took online courses. I’m looking for ideas as she is the kind of kid who needs a nudge.
My Son works as a life guard and he has 2 jobs ready. He will also be attending CA Boys State as a counselor(last year attended as a delegate).
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That is a good question. I keep nudging S23. He doesn’t know. He was thinking about music camp counselor (was offered the job), but he would have to commit to almost the whole summer and it is seeming like too much.
D23 is actively looking for a job. Basically just about finished with dance team and is hoping to earn some money during the rest of the school year and over the summer.
She and her friend are also planning beach trips, lol. But they’ve done those every summer so nothing new there.
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Yes, I understand the “too much” concern. I’m also leery of having her commit to the whole summer. I’d like her to have some time to prepare for college (which one is TBD) and to take a family trip.
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I really think its very hard to justify spending big on OOS schools if you live in CA, and am amazed when I hear stories of parents taking loans and sending their kids to that “dream school”. On the flipside, most parents realize the tremendous value of the UCs for CA kids, and thats why they get frustrated by the falling admit rates year on year.
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Well, UCs can be really big and impersonal and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Another problem is that there is very limited academic flexibility if you are interested in highly impacted majors. My son is not 100% sure of which engineering major he wants and if he changes his mind later, it could be significantly more challenging to switch majors at a UC, compared to (for example) CWRU.
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Great question! I’ve been trying to nudge my kid to make plans – I went traveling to France with my high school roommate, and it was awesome, so I’ve been trying to encourage my son to do something. He’s brought it up with his friend group and they are talking about going to Japan. I thought that sounded interesting, so I asked him more about it, and it’s because a couple of his friends are huge weebs (anime fans). Hmmm… ok, I guess? I then asked if he talked to one of his other friends who is actually Japanese and goes back to Japan every summer for tips and to maybe go along, and he’s like “oh yeah, good idea!” So, yeah… it’s off to a great start. LOL
He actually did end up talking to that friend and he’s going to work as a camp counselor at a camp in Japan, and mentioned that they have some English speaking positions, so my son is going to apply to one of those… supposedly. We’ll see.
I think you can see why I think a gap year might be beneficial… I feel like my kid just needs more experience planning things out, working on logistics and so on without also school pressure.
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CWRU is a really cool university. I talked to a couple of professors at CES this year, and it sounded like a great place.
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Those are some well documented disadvantages but is flexibility worth that OOS premium? I am not so sure. An ounce of introspection and analysis prior to applying can save a lot of unnecessary expenses and loans. I know friends who wanted the small school personalized experience and as an example, applied to Santa Clara because they knew from prior years that SC often gives just enough aid to CA students to match their UC cost of attendance. Of course, for some families the prestige of the Ivies or a niche career goal could make OOS necessary or even justified but for the vast majority of people the UCs and CSUs offer enough flexibility to accomplish all they want.
Granted, if that OOS admit comes with merit then that’s an easy decision. I am mainly talking about scenarios where people are willing to pay a big premium for some perceived pedigree or incremental flexibility.
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Yeah, it’s really hard to figure out the best thing for each kid. I was actually thinking that for a kid like your S23 there could be some benefit of doing a program like Teach for America or Americorp if he could be posted close to your home. Then he’d get paid while he adjusts to that type of life instead of paying… but it’s really hard to figure out what exactly will work or not.
Good luck!
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