It is unethical to double deposit but depositing at one school and then withdrawing so you can deposit at another is not unethical. Losing the enrollment deposit is the only consequence unless you applied ED and do not have a valid reason for the withdrawal.
I think as @Gumbymom said, as long as you arenāt reserving a spot at more than one place, itās fine. Things happen, people have to withdraw, and I think itās fine if you intend to go to one school and are prepared to go but then something opens up that makes more sense for you and you withdraw.
With that person point of view, it would literally be impossible to consider any waitlist offer since they will always be after May 1 which is the deadline to deposit at most schools. The schools donāt consider it bad faith to drop (and sacrifice your deposit) if you get offered a waitlist position you accept.
We are starting a new tradition in our house: Senior Staycation. Our '23 will house-sit while dh and I travel this summer with our '27s.
Weāve flown '23 all over the place to be with her girlfriend. Theyāll both be heading to FL for spring break. So, you know, seems fair. A chance to practice doing laundry and general adulting before fall.
Xavier and U of Dayton off the list. Tuition Exchange (and FACHEX) denied. Too expensive for us.
Nothing like making your decision even easierā¦sometimes rejection is a good thing!!!
My kids also pay no tuition because their dad teaches there. Sometimes the socioeconomic differences have caused stress, though.
I agree. Especially for smaller competitive schools where there are certainly applicants out there waiting for their spot.
I am using some of my precious dying cell battery to.read CC which probably says something about meā¦
We made the difficult choice Tuesday to cancel a trip down for a full tuition competition for S23 in Texas because he has been sick a.lot and was on antibiotics and severely fatigued. That was tough, and then his best friend was diagnosed with mono Tues, and I thought, hmmm.
Then yesterday we lost heat, water, power and internet with an ice storm, and he broke out with an all body rash from the medicine-- maybe combined with mono since that makes it more likely to get the amoxicillin rash. The rash is spreading today. Branches were crashing around the house all last night in pitch black so we slept on the sofa and loveseat to be away from the roofs.
Saw the damage today. No school again. Heās still sleeping all day and rash spreading. Now we are sitting wrapped in blankets for the second night with candles lighting one room Itās down to 55 inside and dropping. No school tomorrow as there is no power in half the town. We still have no water either due to the well pump. (Of course, no heat, electric or internet.)
I am now SO GLAD we cancelled the trip and gave up the chance for that full tuition!! We could not have left today and just hoped our pipes donāt freeze, etc. (High tomorrow 24), and he is sicker and covered in a horrible rash. Iām just assuming that particular college scholarship wasnāt meant to be!
So sorry to hear the travails! Sending prayers for your son to feel better and please keep us posted.
I wish there was something I could do to help. That sounds awful. We were without (just) hot water for a week earlier this month, and I thought that was pretty bad.
@sursumcorda what a mess you are dealing with! I hope your son feels better soon. Bad enough to be sick, but no power, heat and water! We have well water also - such a pain when there is no electricity. My son got a horrible case of hives after taking penicillin when he got his wisdom teeth removed. He was miserable - Iāve never seen it so bad! Heād never been allergic before so it caught us by surprise. I was going to suggest a warm oatmeal bath (that helped), but obviously with no water, your son canāt do that.
I hope your power is restored soon and your son recovers quickly.
Oh my goodness! I am so sorry!! Good job of taking care of you and yours!
Curious about peopleās thoughts on this.
None of our kids have been eligible for Financial Aid. We still encouraged the older two to apply to the few pure merit-based local scholarships marketed through their HS (unrelated to what some colleges offer to students). It seemed like a good idea to instill in them they needed to put the effort in to try and contribute to their educational costs (we also have made them seek campus jobs once there). And these scholarships are also acknowledgements of achievement usually, given at the schoolās awards night.
The older ones did it. The youngest is objecting on the grounds that he would feel bad about taking the scholarship because even if its not need based that there are still kids with need who could use it more than us.
I see his point. I do believe it is sincere, though itās also conveniently less work for him.
If you happen to be in Washington State lmk - we have lots of room and electricty etc
Benedryl for the rash?
My gut reaction is that he can make that sort of noble decision when itās his own money at stake . .
I think itās the latter
If itās not need based, how does he know that whoever wins will have need?
My daughter has gotten too comfortable with all the niceties sheās had in life. While we are restrained, others arenāt and she sees that.
I do think for some kids they live in that cycle. Not knowing you I canāt say yours butā¦ā¦
My kid works hard but she also takes advantage of dad.
My D19 ended up getting $9K in scholarships while at college from departmental scholarships. Were there other kids more in need of the scholarship I am sure there were. But she took the time to fill out the form.
D23 recently won a full ride. The school also gave out full tuition scholarships. I am sure someone who got full tuition could have used the full ride. We could afford to pay R&B. The reason we could afford it was because we saved money.
I am a believer of when you pay the bills you can decide on charity and not accepting something.
Iād suggest he can work and earn the potential merit money heās giving up then.
But seriously, there are more scholarships (and college aid) that focus on financial need than merit, so I donāt really think heās taking something away. And thereās no guarantees that who wins is needy.
I donāt understand, are you saying he wonāt get to keep the money, it will just reduce what you pay? Isnāt it better to let him have the money and point out it could cover a spring break trip with his friends that otherwise heād need to work for X hours to afford.