Parents of the HS Class of 2023 (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
8700

It is so easy to lose sight how well the kids are doing when you are worrying about every little detail just hoping the get a higher score or not make a B. A 31 is definitely something to be proud of.

My D19 & D23 are different kids for sure. But they both participated in Scholastic Bowl in HS all four years. D23 recently made all-conference. D19 confided in Mom that D23 was better in S Bowl than she ever was, but never to tell her that.

They both have their own personalities. D19 is type-A for sure. D23 is introverted and stays out of the drama. I do feel a little bad that I didn’t push D19 to take a shot at a school like Central MI for a full ride. She came up with her own schools mostly. She was more worried about school reputation than D23 is. We had to push D23 much harder to get apps done.

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8701

On the topic of UF, I predict the school will fall in the respect it has. Scientists will take their labs and funding and go elsewhere. They are already sending out queries to do this.

Once UF loses that fat funding, they won’t hold onto prestige they gained.

23 said no way to the State of Florida.

It isn’t freedom to have words and medical choices dictated by a Harvard/Yale elite like DeSantis. People who thought these laws would not affect them are shocked and saddened to see what their loved ones must endure now. Empathy is lacking.

I see fear in moves that the governor makes. Fearing loss of power. But also, I see someone who knows exactly what he is doing and probably studied the playbook in college.

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8702

Do you join the FB parent pages for the schools your kids have been accepted to and are seriously considering? If so, has it been helpful?

8703

Not at this time. I find Facebook to be a bit creepy in general, and it also bothers me that a lot of parent pages are run by “Humans of University.”

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8704

We didn’t even join the FB parent group of the college D20 is attending. Too many horror stories of the helicoptering and grumbling in those groups.

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8705

I totally get what you are saying. I have not visited a lot of the schools that you mentioned in your previous post. We did visit Alabama. FWIW, >45% residents are AA in Tuscaloosa. So, the town is very diverse.

The campus itself is not that diverse but I applaud the university for making an effort to increase diversity by offering scholarships to minority kids. I found no direct evidence whatsoever to suggest that students or faculty are biased, in fact I saw images of star athletes (mostly AA) plastered all over campus. Does that mean there are no idiot kids on campus? Of course there are but that’s true of all places.

Finally, engineering. I am willing to bet that just about every engineering school in the country looks like model UN. Alabama is no exception. The dean of honors college is Asian (Chinese) and many faculty and students are POC.

At the end of the day, what each kid and family decides is up to them but fear is what keeps us from moving forward.

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8706

I have joined several. I won’t join unless I can be sure they’re not run by the data mining groups (this means I have not joined any Pitt group, fwiw, because there isn’t a legit one for accepted students of 2027).
Yes, I get useful information from them - a big part is seeing how active they are and the topics that are most prevalent. If there’s a lot of grumbling about mold in the dorms, it’s an eye-opener that I’m grateful to have stumbled upon.

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8707

No way, partly for the same reasons @beebee3 cited. But I am an active participant in the college-sponsored parent liaison group. The colleges your child is considering might have similar organizations. Explore the website or reach out to parents you know with students already enrolled.

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8708

I left FB 7 years ago (checked back in a handful of times the last few years to confirm, sadly, that some people I loosely knew were losing their minds to various conspiracy theories and silently left again).

I know it’s “normal” for colleges to share these FB groups with enrolling students and families but I strongly believe they shouldn’t. They should host a private message board on their own portal and not push students and families to join FB, or be put in the position of not receiving timely or important information.

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8709

Pitt has wisely set up its own internal forum for admitted students and parents for the incoming class.
I’m a bit put off by it; it’s a bit top-down in structure and there isn’t really a good exchange of info - because either you’re brand new to the school, or you’re an admin who has a full-time job and doesn’t have time to answer dozens of questions.
But maybe that’ll come in time.

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8710

I agree with this 100%. I have never had Facebook or any other social media. In 2016-17 and now 2022-23 I am on College Confidential, and that is it for social media.

I fought the battle from the very beginning with both friends (Why are you trying to force me to join a shady business in order to see a photo of your baby circa 2009? Just email it!) and public services (my battle with our library in 2011 about the teen reading group and Facebook was not well received) and private companies (Seriously, doctor’s office, make your own website and stop trying to make me join Facebook!) My fantasy football avatar in 2012 was the Facebook logo with the “Do Not” red circle sign imposed on it. Mascot the Luddites. (We came in 3rd in the league!)

I lost this battle on all fronts except in my own soul since I have steadfastly never joined Facebook, etc. Does it make me angry that over 15 years most of our country, including public services, just acquiesced to allowing a private company to invade every aspect of people’s lives? Yes. It makes me angry, but you should see me blow a gasket when I read articles in the NYT or other places that start, “Who is to blame for all the social ills stemming from social media? We all are to blame because we all use them.”

No, buddy, not all of us.

That is my rant. Colleges need to set up their own mailing lists or whatever if they want parents to know things. Assuming they all have Facebook is lazy.

End of rant.
(Don’t even get me started on companies that assume you have a smart phone AND data. The first time I had a phone with data was three months ago.)

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8711

I joined the parent group on FB where D19 goes. Over the years I have picked up some good tips. But I have seen the normal craziness that comes along with FB or anywhere on the net open to the public. I find it entertaining to watch all the things that parents will do for their children when in most cases the child should be doing said thing themselves. I generally don’t like asking people in the group questions because I really don’t trust them. If I really have an issue I would much prefer to talk to someone directly from the university. And I had to call the university one time in the four years D19 attended.

That being said I have been know to throw up a post or two. Usually before move-in giving advice I learned over the years. Covid time was rough in the group. Every once in a blue moon something political will happen and people get arguing. Ironically through the group I hooked up with the owner of the most popular bar in town. I was able to secure a VIP Pass for D19 for her last semester. No lines or cover. Dad earned some street cred that day.

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8712

I only joined the group for parents at the school our S21 enrolled in. The ones for parents of X class (2025, 2026, etc.) tend to be run by that weird Humans of University group rather than real people with kids at the school, and we don’t use that one. But the overall group for the large public school our son attends (moderated by real parents) is actually pretty helpful. LOTS of griping which is annoying, but also lots of genuinely helpful info re: housing on and off campus, dining plans, where to get birthday cupcakes to be sent to your kid on his birthday, etc. I’m glad I’m there.

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8713

Me neither :blush:

And for similar reasons.

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8714

Let me start by saying I am not a member of a minority group, so what I am saying is trying to reflect what I have heard from friends who are and from things I have read. It seems like an issue in a place like Alabama is not if there are very many people of some racial/ethnic/at-risk group. The issue is who has the power in those locations and how do they use that power in a way that is just/unjust, welcoming/unwelcoming.

A town can be 50% black, but if the majority of people in town government and the entire sheriff’s department is white, AND 90% of traffic stops are for people of color, that’s a place I can absolutely see not wanting to send your black child. A town could have a sizable LGBTQ population, but if people are regularly speaking at town meetings or school board meetings about that ways “those people“ are hurting the community, it isn’t welcoming.

Diversity isn’t enough by itself. People who have real concerns, and real reasons for those concerns, absolutely need to go beyond just looking at the numbers of a population present. They need to really dig in and understand the culture of a school and of the surrounding area to know if it’s going to be a safe and welcoming place for their child.

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8715

Great points. As I’ve mused many moons ago somewhere on this site, the question is whether to work from within to change these untenable situations or just never ever go there. Good arguments can be made for both positions.

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8716

@ProfSD - what are some schools you’ve found that work for your children?

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8717

I quit Facebook several years ago and improved my mental health tremendously, but I went there last week to check out the parent group for a school my son’s been admitted to. Whether the group was ever really useful I don’t know, but it has devolved into complaints about overflowing toilets. It not only isn’t welcoming, it actually makes me question the school. I have to remember that people who have something to gripe about are the ones who tend to post.

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8718

Posting here as well.

Updates? Ready for the essay? COA will include the $5500 loan we are making him take out the first year so he has “skin in the game.”

Accepted: merit and COA both per year

Xavier (OH). 25k merit. COA 28k

Gustavus Adolphus. 41k award. COA 19k

Ball State. MSEP tuition. COA 20k

U of Dayton. 27,500 merit. COA 30k

Western Michigan. 2k merit. COA 24k

Jacksonville U (FL). 45k Fine Arts Merit. COA 11k

U of Louisiana Lafayette. 27,696 Live Oak Scholarship. 3k (yes, 3)

Loyola New Orleans. 32k Esports Scholarship. COA 23k (Awaiting to see if get FACHEX which could lower cost)

U North Florida (awaiting financials)

Waiting for admission decision:

Stetsonflorida- Was awarded 41k scholarship already via TE though. Would be COA 25k.

Syracuse- email from music department said at least 10k fine arts scholarship but no formal admissions yet.

Indiana U- They do music and academic admit together.

U of Minn-Twin Cities- deferred but then I saw that his senior classes and his ACT had not gone through so now updated. Also, awaiting music admit.

DePaul and Baldwin Wallace. Neither academic nor music admit yet.

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8719

That Lafayette offer keeps seeming too good to be true! I am inspired to try to find a school like that for my kid. :slight_smile:

Thus far, he has (scholarships/remaining COA after scholarships):

  • CU Denver College of Arts & Media, 1K merit/30K COA
  • Loyola New Orleans, 25K merit/40K COA, still waiting for financial aid ^
  • C0lumbia College Chicago, 19K merit/50K COA, so no.
  • UArts, 25K merit/50K COA, so no.

Still waiting on some affordable ones: U of North Texas, U of Oregon, and U of Memphis. And waiting on some go-for-it-and-see ones: U Miami, Cal Arts, USC, Berklee.

Affordable for us means 30K COA or lower, preferably a lot lower, but we are not expecting to get much less. They all seem to magically come out around 10K over our EFC. We expect to find that we’re stretching a little to do Loyola. :crossed_fingers:t2: for enough FA.

^ Even with your son’s 32K (congratulations!) my math comes out differently, and I think maybe I’m adding more for books and other expenses, and for transportation. ??? I hope we can bring it down to what you have.

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