But I think you are right in that the kid convinced himself that the instate flagship was his safety, and he was ok (even if he is not thrilled) to go there. Then the process becomes easier, as you can take risks. And we really no risks were involved if you are prepared to apply to 20-25 schools if necessary.
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Not in our case. My sonâs top choice was by every definition a safety.
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In regards to the RA positions, just make sure it is financially worth it. At many schools, they no longer give 100% R&B as compensation - it can be a percentage that increases each year you RA (50% the first year up to 70% your 3rd year RAing), it can be a flat compensation fee (sometimes like $3k for the entire year), and sometimes there is no financial benefit given at all.
I was shocked when we were researching RA compensation with D20 so donât want others to be surprised like we were.
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I found in my area and our particular private school that HS could care less if you could afford college. They want to brag about where their kids are getting accepted. I have argued with our college counselor, who keeps telling us our Virginia schools are the best and least expensive. She told me my one DD would never get accepted at an OOS second Tier public school because they donât want OOS kids. She did get in and received an OOS tuition waiver. People are selling their houses to send their kids to schools they cannot afford. After my second child, I just sent her an email about our college admission plans as a substitute for our meeting, and a refusal to meet, since she needed to document the meeting with us. I really feel bad for those who blindly trust their schools, first-generation students, and those who just do not put an effort into or know they needed to research options, far too many times I see those kids dropping out after a year or two with huge debt.
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I donât think safety is necessarily the âlast choiceâ and âby definitionâ. My eldestâs top three choices were a reach and two safeties. Got waitlisted at the reach and happy to be accepted and received merit at safeties. We call this a success even though there is rejection in it. I think the difference is the mindset and how you picked safeties.
S23 had two matches and three reaches and they were not all his top choices (still liked them, just not top choice). His favorites were not necessary governed by ranking, difficulty of admission, etcâŠ
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Your kid is probably among the exceptions, or at least in the small minority. If true safeties are their top choices, then they donât even need other choices. Most others, however, have their aspirations and preferences.
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Also listen to FA session, I have found at several private schools if you get a RA position, FA will be adjusted, taking that income into consideration. One other thought, those positions are not that easy to come by. If your student is in a major that has a reputation for being a lot of work, you will not be hired. My DD (arch. major) ran into that issue, after being placed on the alternative list 3 years in a row.
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You mean favoring a safety is not having aspirations?
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I also think you canât count on it. I would not attend a school that required me to have an RA job to make it work financially. Thatâs askng for trouble. What if you donât get?
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I think sometimes what starts as their #1 choice isnât the safety, but then that can change - even if they get accepted to the #1. You learn things along the way and experience the school in greater depth as you attend Accepted Student Days and such. It was a LONG time ago, but that happened to me. I turned down a top school bc it wasnât a fit when I actually spent time there with the students and profs. Went to the safety and it was what I needed/wanted in the end.
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Not necessarily. For a true safety, you feel certain that your kid will be accepted, that it would be affordable, and that your kid would be happy to attend⊠but you donât know in advance exactly what package they will offer. Another school may offer a better merit package, honors, or something else that would end up being more attractive.
There may also be plenty of things about each school that are difficult to evaluate before applying; my son is now visiting (and revisiting) his short list of schools to meet with people in his department, visit labs, talk with engineering project teams, etc.
There are lots of reasons that you may want to apply widely, even if you love your safety.
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Add to that list % test optional and % full pay.
And if you want, % accepted via ED.
I agree with @AustenNut in that there is a segment of parents that do not pay attention or do not know better but I think among the educated tier of parents with high stat kids, that number is low and shrinking. It is more the âspecialâ sauce logic that @neela1 presented â when presented with relevant data, parents simply ignore them at their own peril.
In the case of my DS, I told him to apply to schools that ONLY relied on stats for auto merit. Why? because I wanted guaranteed safeties for him. I told him that the privates he was applying to were not likely to happen and in some cases, outright stopped him from applying to schools like Rose Hulman, RPI, etc. due to budget.
Many wonât realize a safety is the top choice til after.
My son started loving WUSTL. Then changed to Purdue.
After he was accepted to Purdue and joined classmates on a job shadow/college visit day to Tuscaloosa, he became smitten with Bama - the gorgeous campus, close drive to mom and most importantly, his own room.
I knew my daughter loved Charleston from our visit Tgiving week Junior year. Told my wife this is where sheâll be. But she still had me trek over the country - to safeties, targets and reaches - and wanted to complete the process.
She acted surprised when she finally made the call. Both us and her friends took it wit a yawn. She already knew.
Had she won the Johnson at W&L, perhaps she would have changed. But then she would have griped that she was in the middle of nowhere vs. in a cool city like she is.
I also think - much of society just wants to go to their favorite local school - and in some states those are safeties - and yep, they may just only apply to that one.
But I think many choose safeties - it may be financial (when they really look at it, they see how much they have to spend and that safety was a lot less), may be sports, a friend goes there, distance from home (some dontâ realize how far a school really is and panic)âŠcan be lots of things.
But itâs definitely common to choose a safety - but many donât know how they truly feel about a school at application time.
Because most true safeties do not have the same peer group and size and overall feel of of many of the highly-rejective small-medium ivy-like schools. Matches often do, and Likelies(>75% but not true safeties) can get close if your kid is in a position(ie their HS and them personally) to have some top-20 LACs or smaller universities as likelies , but for true safeties (>95% chance of acceptance based on the kid and HS), the classroom atmosphere/size and peer group will not be the same as the matches and reaches. In Virginia we are extremely lucky to have William&Mary but it is NOT a safety for the majority of applicants. It is a match for many who are truly competitive for T20s, it often gets picked over out of state competitive schools, and it provides an environment similar to ivies : it is the quintessential âpublic ivyâ, after all! It is a rare gem.
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Agreeing with all those who disagreed with this (and the rest of the post) in multiple ways.
But even if it were true, why the {insert naughty word here} would they be unhappy with it? Are you claiming that the entire thing is FOMO? Because if it is, thatâs just stupid, and should be widely and loudly called out as such.
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I agree that for many the true safety is near the bottom of the list, though it may not be the very bottom. It is not Fear of missing out , it is Fit.
This only matters if a small to medium ivy-like school happens to match the size and overall feel that you are looking for. It turned out that wasnât what my son wanted. (Fortunately! 
) He wants a research university where he can be part of a strong and active Formula SAE team, play in the orchestra as a non-major, where there are professors and labs matching his research interests, and ideally with good access to a city. It turns out that there is a wide selectivity range of schools that match his interests very well. On his short list, he currently has a likely school, a target school, and a couple of reaches⊠he has cut some reaches from the list already where he was admitted (with merit!) but which arenât as strong as his shortlisted schools in the factors that he cares about.
Itâs probably harder to find the perfect safety school if your kid dreams of an ivy-like school. I donât know, because we didnât look at many of those.
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Precisely. And often these are the families who have kids not able to find safeties they actually love.
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As I said earlier, they shouldnât be unhappy, but that doesnât mean they would be happy. Thereâs a continuum of happiness.
Absolutely. Accepted ED is an important stat. Some schools up to 60%!
Another individual stat to figure out is: What percentage of kids are accepted (google admitted freshmen profile) that make up the âslice of the pieâ that you represent? S23 is in the white, domestic slice. Pretty small at some schools.
Can âguesstimateâ even further⊠we tried to take out a certain percent for female (opposite sex of what you are), legacies, athletes, etc. that might be in his slice.
Then you see how many kids are taken from your state or region.
Then out of those kids, how many are from your âexactâ slice, i.e. private school, good zip code, etc⊠Not many!!!
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