@JaceyK Goodness! You have had it rough.
I am sorry others are struggling. And kind of glad to find a group of less than perfect folks on CC. Makes me fell less alone. Although I do worry about how many complete strangers are reading our private business. I mean, clearly WE are not strangers, but you know, the totally random people now or in the future. Let’s hope things start looking up for everyone!
D23 and I stayed up way too late last night trimming down her longlist of colleges to a shorter longlist. It was already very short (57 colleges) for a sophomore-year longlist due to her being interested in such a niche field (recording tech) and having geographic (read: amount of sunlight) restrictions, so now it’s a very not-long longlist: 21 colleges.
We first got rid of the half-dozen or so colleges that would be unaffordable under the best of circumstances, and then she made a strong case for eliminating all of the audition-entry programs, since those are nearly all performance-centric—and she wants to learn about being behind the scenes, not out front—and she felt like the few audition-entry colleges that weren’t primarily performance degrees were effectively showing a bias toward performance tracks with the requirement. (Worth noting: She is very much in favor of portfolio requirements for recording tech programs.) She also got rid of the colleges that are a solid distance from urban centers with a strong music scene (aside from a couple desperation fallback financial safeties), since she recognizes (as drilled into her head by her music teachers) that if she wants to work in the field after college it will have been more about the internships and such she can land than her academic work.
She was almost giddy by the end of it, and seems excited about the college search again. And honestly, I get it—one of the few expressions of power an applicant has in the whole college search process is the ability to say no, and she got to feel like she did that to 36 colleges last night.
@dfbdfb Wow. Thats awesome. My son has done only very general talks with me about potential preferences. I have a tentative 36 school list for him to look at to help when he is ready to really dive into looking at schools IF he decides to stay with music ed as a major.
That’s amazing - my son’s latest progress is the stack of mail he gets from potential colleges keeps growing (and collecting dust). LOL. I suggested that we peruse the stack and eliminate a lot - put the rest into a spreadsheet with columns representing what he wants in priority order. We may tackle that this summer with plans to visit the ones that make cut over the next year. 
@2plustrio and @JaceyK, yeah, under normal circumstances I wouldn’t expect my D23 to have as short or researched of a longlist as she has at this point in the process, but she’s (a) interested in a field where to get into good programs you have to have a solid portfolio you’ve developed over a few years and (b) the child of a pair of PhDs, one of whom has been embedded in academia for decades.
So she was pretty much doomed to have a college spreadsheet by this time of her life, you know?
(It doesn’t explain that D25 has been on us about getting her college spreadsheet together since she was in 5th or 6th grade, but that one is a little bit too Type A for all the other Type As of the world to handle—so I’ll chalk that one up as a special case.)
@dfbdfb Laughing because I think my d25 has also actually put more thought into college than her big brother!
My son is tentatively saying no to staying in the midwest but money talks and his gpa isnt going to help raise his chances either.
For prosperity sakes, “his” list so far (even though its MY list)…
Fachex
Oh my goodness-kids with lists. I am honestly jealous. I still cannot get D23 to think about college other than “she wants to go” - but she’s not anywhere near having a list. That said, I am feeling better about everything. She is back at school in person five days per week. School is still half days. It’s going to full days in May. Kids still have the choice between virtual and in person. We pushed her to go back in April. She did not want to, there were some tears-but then she admitted that she is happier back in school, even though her friends are still virtual. Then she turned 16 and had a nice weekend with us and her friends. Then she got a JOB! Just a little job at a cute deli in town but everywhere she applied - the hiring managers were kind and encouraging (thank you strangers) and it really boosted her confidence. So she’s getting up every day, getting dressed, getting out of the house to school, and working to boot a few afternoons and Saturday. It feels…like normal!
My s23 has been in school and activities face to face all year. And it’s my list, not his. My sons list is simply him saying “Florida, California, or maybe PNW”.
I chuckle that your S wants to come to FL and us living in FL, my D wants to get as far away as possible. Your FL schools on your list are great although UF is extremely tough to get into now even in state. My D19 got in but a student in the top 10 of their high school with a good standardized test score did not. It’s a coin toss. And for what it’s worth, my D19 goes to Tulane and Loyola is literally 5 steps away and that area of NOLA is beautiful. Can’t beat Audubon park as your front yard!
My D (with a lot of prompting) is starting her list. We are going to Boston area over Memorial weekend to see if she likes the area itself. If she doesn’t, then we can cross off several potential colleges. Unfortunately, everything we are looking at will be considered a “high reach”, but maybe that will give her a little more perspective.
I’ll be interested in your take on Boston - I haven’t been for about 15 years and don’t really love it, but S23 wants a city, so I’ve grudgingly put BC and BU on the list - now 46 schools, god help me.
We got a shock this week when we opened up the grade portal and saw a C in Alg2 and a comment about rushed work and lack of understanding. Ugh. He says he’s working on it and talking with the teacher about extra credit. That’ll change his college list in a hurry if he doesn’t recover.
Glad to see I am not the only one creating a “list” with very little input from my son. I have some of the same schools on his (my) list.
I’d say about half are reaches. But my son gets overwhelmed with too many choices so thought I would throw some college names out at him. I’m hoping he comes up with a few of his own his junior year.
hugs
I hope things get better for y’all, that’s a lot to be dealing with at one time 
@2plustrio - For my D19, the whole thought about thinking about colleges was very overwhelming. When we in Junior year and we saw everyone taking college visits it felt like we were falling behind. When we met with her school counselor she reminded us of our college search process (I don’t think we even though about making a list until it was time to apply). We spend Freshman and Sophomore year getting them acclimated to HS then by Junior year we are kicking them out!
For her, we focused on trying to identify things that she would like in a college (City or Rural). Big or Small, How far away. Then with every nugget of information I developed a list for her (That was about 50 colleges!). Senior year we did a few visits and were able to come up with some additional criteria to help narrow it down. Eventually we had cut the list down to about 21 colleges, then started to send in the applications. It wasn’t until she got her first acceptance (Right around Thanksgiving) that she became excited about the process. Out or the 21 she got accepted from 18 and deferred from 1. That made for a pretty hectic spring, going to accepted student days and doing visits (I think we visited 15 of the schools in a matter of a 6 weeks). By the last few weeks she had narrowed it down to a top 5, then a final 2 a week before decision day, finally making her choice the last night. What helped for her was not focusing on the actual college but thinking about all the things that would make her fully engaged in her college experience.
I’ve had similar talks with my son. So far, his biggest wish is to get out of the midwest. I keep reminding that his brother lives 3 hours away and we only see him every few months. My son then clarified his wish by saying he wants “something different”. He is a kid who loves lakes, mountains, and the ocean. So although some of the colleges on my list may be closer to safeties for him with great programs, they will go lower on his list just based on location.
My son also does not want a college that is too rural and isn’t too small. We live in a suburban area and he goes to a high school of about 1500-1800 kids so he would prefer larger. I tell him no matter where he goes it may feel smaller as he will be with kids in his major most of the time for classes.
School spirit is important. He prefers football over basketball. I think this translates to a more engaged and active student population with lots of options for things to do outside of class for him. Greek life is irrelevant to him at this time. He doesn’t want to be surrounded by people who are super competitive academically where all they do is study. He’s a very social kid who works hard and plays hard.
I like your list. My son’s college audition coach (yes you read that right) just had Belmont give a talk and it sounds like a really great place. But even the lady trying to sell it made clear its not cheap and they do not give good merit or talent aid. They would rather give a little to a lot of people she said. My son has a lot of your schools on his list for a BFA. Your list seems light on football schools 
Yes, light on football. His highest probability for money is with fachex schools and Jesuits don’t play football;). If he sticks with music ed, there won’t be much time for football. And no offense to any groups as we are allies, my son is a straight white male who loves music and sports and doesn’t totally fit with persons who solely identify with only one of those interests. School fit and the general vibe of the students will be a major factor for my son I think.
Tuition exchange schools are a wildcard chance as well. But finding a school with “a view of something different” with strong school spirit where his mid 3s GPA may get him merit is like finding a unicorn.
@dfbdfb Wait- 57 colleges is a short long list?!
My daughter was class of 2022, but just got accepted for fall to boarding school so will repeat Jr. year. Thank goodness because she doesn’t have a list of any kind yet! I am hoping her boarding school academic advisor can help her with this. My husband works at a private University that has a program with tuition reciprocity for hundreds of colleges- but I have not heard of most of them. We really need to start doing some research, we’d be in trouble if she was still going to graduate next year.
Well, it’s a short longlist compared to her older sisters’ longlists.
I don’t feel like you can really say shortlist til you’re down below twenty.
Huh. Which means D23 is nearly there. Hadn’t thought about it in those terms.
I can’t even imagine 20. How many do people actually apply to? When I was a senior I applied to 3.