I feel your pain. My D19 also didn’t do great even after painfully expensive test prep and I finally decided that it was maturity in her case. She just wasn’t internalizing the seriousness of anything at the beginning of junior year. She was much further along by the end of that year. I also would bite my tongue until spring.
Also, you didn’t say but have they taken the SAT? Maybe they’d do better on that one. My D did much better on the ACT, but it absolutely works the other way around 
Thank you, so far so good, I get exhausted just watching her this junior year is a beast!
No, we have not attempted to seek out private schools because we cannot afford it.
I’m sorry their scores didn’t match up with their grades/rank/test prep. Hopefully when football/marching season is over and college futures become more “real” they’ll be ready to focus more on prepping. My S21 took his first SAT fall of junior year as a baseline and it didn’t really match up with his GPA/rank either. He jumped over 100 points without much prep by senior year - so there’s hope!
D23 was signed up for a baseline SAT this past weekend but ended up postponing it. Between school, sports, her job and a last minute decision by her high school to host a homecoming dance the same day as the SAT, it was just not happening. She’s a decently strong student but struggles with standardized tests so either it would have been a great chance to familiarize herself with the test, OR she’d bomb it and then be in a negative headspace for all future tests. Her plan now is to do a some low key prep (Khan) throughout the winter and test in the spring.
In terms of nearby privates, what about Emory and Oglethorpe? I’m doing a bit of research on them; there is very decent and broad-based merit available at Oglethorpe - including a Flagship 50 program where you can pay only the tuition+fees in your home state, if you qualify. Not sure if it’s a good fit, but thought I would mention it.
@nkwatts Why not UNC-CH?
We will definitely look into those schools, she is very interested in the ATL area.
I believe she is going to apply to Chapel Hill but is not interested in going to that school, she is legacy NC State so would only want to go there if she stayed home.
S23 had his pratice ACT one week after school started. In previous years on the pre ACT hes either fallen asleep partway through or forgot his calculator. In middle school he chose C for most of the questions.
Well, he semi-tried on most of the sections and got 29-33. “Our” goal was 30 so he should be on track for spring when he takes the real one. I realize this may be subpar for some but we aren’t going for competitive schools.
29-33 is subpar with “semi” trying on some parts on a practice test? 
. Sounds like when he takes the real test if he actually tries on the whole thing he should do amazingly.
Considering there’s parents here trying to get kids to retake 34 or 35s’, yeah, 29-30 is “low” in comparison. But hey, I’m happy with it.
Oh I missed that, but I remember the one where the KID wanted to retake a 34 and the parent didn’t care if they did or not. Oh wait, that was me.
Lots of parents here are disappointed or worried and having kids retake decent standardized tests. With so many colleges going test-optional, I just don’t get it.
I’m just being honest that I as a parent am fine with my kids being average.
For some it’s important, for some it isn’t. Diff’rent strokes and all that.
I will say, though, there are some cases where I think we can say it’s unquestionably worth it. If you’re chasing merit money, there are some clear thresholds for certain scholarships. For a solid number of applicants and their families out there, if the kid got a 33 and thinks they can bump it to a 34, then yeah, getting that additional point could be worth thousands, if not tens of thousands.
And I hate that a single point on a standardized test can mean such a huge money difference. But I also understand colleges attempt to objectify admissions. I think we all agree college admissions game is crazy.
Agreed. When I read these posts, I definitely see that there’s no one way; there are many avenues to “success” as it’s defined by each individual. Personally, we really try to limit standardized testing during the school year and choose the Jun-Sep testing dates. It reduces stress while all the school work and ECs are in full swing. I also try to not stress about studying or hitting a certain outcome. It’s the kids’ responsibility and they need to take ownership. They’ll get in where they fit in. Again this is for our family. I gave our DC’23 the test date and suggested they make a schedule to study and be prepared. They’ve set aside time each week for it. PSAT is next week but not stressing about that either. Honestly may be because this is our 3rd kid Lol! They’re also very motivated and responsible so that may help too.
I hope no one takes offense as none is meant. Just giving our take on it and not knocking anyone else’s approaches.
DC’23 is starting to feel the weight of HW. Jokingly said why didn’t you tell me, which of course I did several times when they picked this year’s classes. Maybe they got a few hours of sleep last night; definitely keeping an eye on it. They know that schoolwork comes first so ECs/volunteering may need to be curtailed. Organic Chem and AP Bio have a lot of work.
My kids school does it in school. They did a half day for the practice test for juniors. Younger grades do a pre ACT. I haven’t had my kids do tests outside of school and haven’t done any outside test prep. That’s what works for my kids. As it’s said, they will grow where planted and not stressing on their final destination.
Wrote a few replies and deleted…I hope I don’t get torched for saying this. I totally get that a point on this test or a half a grade in that class can make a big difference in merit, and that is very important. But each kids has an individual a limit of what they can actually achieve. As a parent, I find it hard to know when I’m not pushing my kid enough vs when I’m not being realistic about her ability. It has been really hard for me, but over the last year I have really had to adopt the attitude that it’s D23’s life. The drive to retake a test, get a certain score, get certain grades, get into a certain school-all of that needs to come from within her. Maybe that’s a cop out on my part, but I’m sleeping better at night! I can give her a nudge but that’s about it. And I will close by saying this post is not aimed as a response at any one post in particular, just all the posts that came before that.
I agree that there are many different ways to approach testing, and all of our kids and families have different goals. It is tough to help them decide when enough is enough and they are done. But if they want to retake tests (2nd or 3rd time). and are not giving up other things to spend countless hours prepping, I don’t think that is a big deal. The ones who prep many hours per week for months on end and take it 5-6 times and consistently are not improving much are the kids that likely need to find something else to do with the time and move on.
All kids are different and all could use a realistic approach to what their abilities are and what a reasonable goal is for testing. To me the testing goal should not be based on grades or classes because of all the grade inflation, rather based on either a school assessment (if they do that), or 10th grade unprepped scores . In other words, if my kid were a 90th%ile tester in general on nationally normed tests through the yrs, and got 90th%ile on 10th gr PSAT(1180-1200) (in other words the unprepared PSAT is in line with where the kid has been over the course of schooling, so it is a believable estimate of ability), then I would set a “goal” of 90Th %ile SAT (1350-ish) and if practice tests seemed to be headed in that direction then why not try an extra time or two IF it isn’t causing stress? What I do not understand is the 90th%ile kid who is trying numerous times to get in the 98-99th range, which seems common on CC. I do not think parents or college counselors should encourage that type of retesting as it seems likely to cause frustration and disappointment, or even if they get lucky, high potential for the wrong peer fit at college.
We based goals for D21 and D23 this way and it has worked out well. My not-a-fan, worrier-tester who always did better on practices achieved her goal after a couple of tries and a few sessions of customized prep(but still missed her high practice scores by 30 points), and the natural tester got her %-ile based goal on the first try with very minimal prep, yet still wants one more shot for the fancy score.
Yup, learning to let go as well. It is my son’s life and choices. I have tried to accept him and his choices. Do I think he can do better in all areas? Yes, but he is not like his sister (very motivated) and I need to accept it.
I’m a big questioner. How’d you think you did? Are you happy with your score? Do you think you could’ve prepped more/better/differently? Is there something we can help with like a class, tutor, or books? Do you think it would help if you take it again? So, perhaps our kids weren’t thinking of some of these things this would be helpful; we’d also be letting them know it’s their decision and we’re supportive. Not sure what I’d do if they wanted to keep taking it until they got to some target score, but we’d probably be ok with it. Definitely worse things they could be doing. Again I may ask for the rationale and discuss pros vs cons.
I agree that it’s not always easy to know when to push or let go. I believe that they still need us for guidance but also need to be empowered to chart their own course. I’m loving the journey and the aha moments. Also, enjoying getting a bit of me back as they get older/wiser and I get, well, mostly older.