Parents of the HS Class of 2023 (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
1807

@AnonMomof2 Perhaps the first step for your position is to fill out the NPCs on the schools your daughter is interested in currently. Find out how much her ‘dream’ schools think you can pay. See how comfortable you think you would be paying that.

At the same time, start figuring out how much money you can squirrel away (even if you don’t have a firm top line amount) and save it in a new account. Maybe you find you can save $100 a month. Maybe it is $1k a month. Maybe it varies. Any way it works, knowing what you can find ‘extra’ now is helpful because it doesn’t get easier to save money once your child is in college. Put that away in an account that is hard to access so it doesn’t become the slush account. If it does become a slush account because of an emergency/unexpected cost, figure out if those kinds of costs happen pretty regularly.

If you are planning on suspending 401(k) contributions during your daughter’s college years and directing that money to tuition, figure out how much you will actually get from that post tax.

If you are planning on taking out loans, research those options and parameters now. Figure out what those payments would look like best case scenario, and worst case scenario.

Figure out if you imagine your child working for pay during school, or whether school will be her only ‘job’.

Think about the transportation costs and travel time at the different schools she is considering. Think about the social vibes and what kinds of breaks the school has, and if students go home on breaks or not - and how much money those things translate into.

Money can be such an emotional topic and can create mental blocks for the smartest people. Try your best to start thinking of the ins and outs now while it is so much less stressful than it will be in the thick of application season.

5 Likes
1808

D23 left the SAT mentally and physically exhausted, from a test.
She left the ACT happy, energetic and saying other than science it was fine.
It was that much of a difference for her.

3 Likes
1809

We have with our D. We are using my husband’s GI Bill and, even then, only looking at schools that provide extra money through the VA’s Yellow Ribbon Program. It is somewhat limiting (almost no OOS public schools), but she knows how the GI Bill works and how to look up which schools participate in the YRP and has found enough she likes that will be fully covered through those programs. We have also said we might be willing to pay a little bit out of pocket if the school she really wants to attend is not fully covered, but only like an additonal $10k per year.

I actually sat down with her one day and we looked up the cost of three schools she was interested in (NYU, RIT, and University of Washington) so she could see how the tuition worked out using the GI Bill/YRP combo ($0, $0, and $100K in additon to GI Bill). She also looked up the cost of living allowance for each area (based on a specific pay grade and the college’s ZIP code) and compared that to the housing and meal plan costs at each school just to see if it would cover the actual cost of living in the dorms (NYU yes, RIT maybe short $500, and UW yes).

She knows we can afford more (income varies between $325k-$400k per year, we always have about $50k in cash on hand, we have real estate we could (but don’t want to) sell, and will start collecting a pension soon that we earmarked years ago as college money (which we will use for her younger sister), but thankfully she is fine with what we’re offering. It is a little unfair, perhaps, that we’ll be full-pay-and-no-GI-Bill-restrictions with her sibling, but we want to use up our GI Bill ASAP in case congress decides to reduce the crazy amount of money it provides.

1 Like
1810

Wow! D23 was the exact opposite–she was drained by the fast pace of the ACT, and thought the SAT was easy. However, the ACT was around 10days after the SAT and school was back in session, plus she only did one practice ACT as her “prep”. It could have been less prep for the ACT made it feel harder? It seemed more than that. She still got the one and done ACT score at her goal percentile, so ACT is done since it was not fun.

2 Likes
1811

@stencils - we found this website in 2014 when our oldest was in HS. we had absolutely no idea how finances worked!!! nor did we realize the high prices of colleges. We had some savings, but absolutely not enough for 4 kids x 4 years! That’s when we started the merit search. Things have changed a bit since then; colleges are not as generous. But, we do have a handle on it now and we scour this site for ideas! for our kids: 6.5 yrs left of undergrad; and 1.5 of grad school. 10 yrs of undergrad done, and one kid gainfully employed (actuary).

Our state flagship (midwest) gives free tuition to any kid with a 31/32 or high ACT; they changed it to GPA for covid and might continue that. That’s certainly on our radar for D23!

great post and timely! i could have used that several years ago!

5 Likes
1812

Ouch. What an awful situation for you and your kids. I’m sorry to hear that.

1 Like
1813

My expectations for each kid has varied. With my oldest (D17), she was self driven and I hardly needed to push her for anything. She grew up with the mentality of “always do my best so that I have no regrets”. My oldest son (S19) - I did have to push but only just that - he brought grades up and did well. Now with my youngest, I am pulling my hair out - at my wits’ end. Therapy is slow and not showing much progress - if anything, he’s gone backwards and is failing 3 classes. Mind you, it’s not that he “can’t” do it - he just doesn’t have the drive to do the work. Sounds like typical teenager but I know he’s upset about it. I have a conference scheduled with these 3 teachers, his counselor and the IEP/504 counselor.

Hoping to see light at end of tunnel soon - I am trying the hands off approach and only pushing when needed - doesn’t seem to be helping either. I want the therapy to take the front seat and for him to figure these things out on his own - especially since he will be starting college in less than 2 years (only if he can get his head out of his butt).

Question - with most of these schools going “test-optional” - what happens if the test scores really improve the picture of the student? I have a feeling that is what we will be banking on…

2 Likes
1814

We are in the same boat here. D21 was driven, always did her work, and I never had to think about it or worry about things falling through the cracks. D23 is a very different story. Bright kid with no motivation/willingness to do the work, so her grades are in rough shape. No real advice, just empathy. I will say that unless a school is test blind, I think high test scores would have to be of some help. At least that’s what we’re hoping for! :wink:

1 Like
1815

Point of clarification: Most colleges that required standardized tests before the pandemic have not gone test-optional. Most that went temporarily test-optional during recent cycles appear to have quietly gone back to requiring SAT/ACT scores, or else they effectively require them (e.g., using then for consideration for merit awards and such).

Of course, most colleges are nonselective, and only use SAT/ACT scores for things like placement rather than admission. Even many of those, though, use test scores for scholarships.

2 Likes
1816

There are still many, many schools that are test optional. Some have quietly gone back, but I certainly wouldn’t say most. https://www.fairtest.org/record-1775-schools-are-testoptional-fall-2022

Everywhere my D21 applied is still test optional, and most plan to continue well past this year. I recently read that WashU decided to go test blind.

1 Like
1817

I should clarify: I meant for our 2023 kids’ cycle, not the current one.

That said, yeah, lots of highly-selectives are remaining test-optional, but remember that despite the way CC makes it seem, that’s not most of the higher-ed marketplace.

4 Likes
1818

Wash U is Need Blind now, and though they are test optional for the current seniors, it may not be that way for 2023. Their wording encourages sending if you have:

“* Applicants who have taken the SAT or ACT and feel their scores reflect their abilities should submit them.

  • Applicants who do not have scores, had limited opportunity to sit for exams more than once, or who do not feel their scores accurately reflect their ability and do not wish to share them, should select the waiver option.“
2 Likes
1819

Well, I think we’re making progress here lol…the boys have Monday off from school, so I asked them if they wanted to go check out any of our local colleges…Thing 1 replied with a curt “No, I want to rest and not do anything”…Thing 2 said “Sure!” so He and I are going to road trip north for the 1hr and 15 minute drive to Sherman, Tx to check out Austin College. He signed up to sit in on a class as well in the Philosophy, Politics & Economics Dept.

Let’s see if he likes this College and if it changes his life (see what I did there lol) :laughing:

10 Likes
1820

I am hoping that in test optional, if you do submit excellent test scores that it counts for something. I feel it is a better apples to apples comparison of kids than grades from thousands of different schools that have different teachers, different grading scales and weighting etc.

However, I do think failing grades are a red flag that colleges need to consider. My husband graduated High School with a 1.9. Classic case of a kid who just did not care about school or grades, wasn’t mature enough to understand the bigger picture. His SAT score is the only reason that two colleges accepted him. He went away for 2 years, still the immature and unmotivated kid. Wasted 2 years of his parent’s money partying. Came home, got a job, put himself through community college where he brought his grades up enough to get into graduate school. Ended up with a 4.0 in his master’s, later got a PHD.
Not sure the point of this story except that sometimes the non-traditional path is better for some kids, sometimes it takes kids longer to figure things out. And I would rather my kid figure things out at a community college than go away unprepared. Good luck to your son in figuring it out, and to you in helping support him!

3 Likes
1821

Ugh. S23 does this towards the end of every season. He’s having a hard time letting go of playing football. This was the first year he wasn’t a starter and didn’t get huge playing time. His team has been ranked nationally the past few years and this is his first year on varsity. Coach is letting seniors start at 90% of the positions. Kid knows d2 or d3 would be his only hope.
But man, the recruiting process I am clueless about. Add that to is this even possible if he chooses music ed for a major. And add in the maybe of tuition reduction with FACHEX and Tuition Exchange. It’s just a complicated mess. Let’s see how he feels in spring.

3 Likes
1822

WashU decided to go “need blind,” not “test blind.”

1 Like
1823

Clearly I read the headline too quickly! Apologies for any confusion. I still believe that many, many schools will be hanging onto their test optional policies for at least the next couple of years, possibly longer.

2 Likes
1824

Like most of y’all (but certainly not most parents out there, at least in my experience), budget is foremost and we aren’t bothering with crazy-expensive schools we cannot afford. Both kids have always known this.

Quick story: a distant friend texted me out of the blue in July to ask whether I knew of any scholarships her son might get - turns out he was about to go to an OOS public flagship this fall, and she had no idea how to pay for it.

I advised a gap year and regrouping and coming up with a new list of schools to apply to. But they ultimately ended up financing the whole thing with PP loans, I think, as there were no savings and no extra income, and the OOS school gave zero merit.

Last I heard the kid was tanking, skipping classes, and wanted to transfer to NYU. Sigh.

Our research and planning is most definitely not the norm.

So with D19, she knew we could only afford to cash-flow about $20k. Plus the student loan. As she was a B student and the meet-full-need schools that might’ve given us need-based aid would not have admitted her, we set our sights lower, and then a miracle happened and she got a full-tuition scholarship.

I don’t expect another miracle, lol.

We have no savings; both kids have been in private school all their lives, thanks to financial aid, so that’s where our $$ always went. So that’s why I know what we can afford - it’s just the private school tuition redirected, plus the student loan. We won’t stop 401k for college; we are too old :slight_smile:

S23 knows this, and his first questions to me in mentioning a new college are always about COA and merit. NPCs are pretty useless for us as we are dealing with a self-employment income bolstered by LLC/royalties etc. So I always just look at the retail price and the avg. non-need-based merit awards, and figure out where his stats would put him and if the resulting number is anywhere in the ballpark, it can be considered further.

We still don’t have test scores, though. I’m worried about that, no matter how many times I hear test-optional.

8 Likes
1825

We have had some budget talks with D23 as well, but reading some of the approaches here I think we’ll get more into the nuts and bolts of it with her soon.

At this point, I’m the one feeling test anxiety, lol, not D23. All my designs for her test prep went out the window once school got back underway, so aside from a few sessions of Kahn she got in during the waning weeks of summer, she’ll be heading into the PSAT on Wednesday pretty green. Oh well. I just can’t get on her case about testing when she’s working so hard to keep herself together and the mental health struggles she’s had over the last year. Fortunately, she’ll have some options even if the whole testing thing winds up a complete bust, as her rigor and GPA (so far! :crossed_fingers:) should be fine for any of the SUNYs and a couple of other schools on her list are test blind at least through 2023. Obviously, it’s always nice to have more options, but I’m trying to be very selective about the places I press her.

6 Likes
1826

We’ve been very clear with our kids re budget. We can pay for any in-state public or the equivalent someplace else, which would require merit aid. Any $$ left in their 529 they can use for grad school but otherwise grad school is on them. We won’t allow debt for undergrad. We won’t get need-based aid. That meant they only apply to reaches that are in-state.

S21 is at VT which was the cheapest option he had and, fortunately, also his top choice. D23 wants W&M, which will be a reach, but has some good options for LACs that with merit should be less than W&M since that’s the most expensive VA school.