Awww I don’t know the details but I’ve found comfort on this site being reminded that Admissions and the rest of the school don’t have a lot to do with each other. So maybe the rest of the school is amazing for him?
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Honestly - we were so frustrated by the Pitt and Indiana admission portals. Not admissions per se - we didn’t really interact. But their portals were disastrous.
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Maybe I misunderstood - but is there actually OVERcapacity for housing? Would they be losing revenue if they waited to assign housing after 5/1, regardless how early someone made their deposit?
Otherwise, for a public college I do feel that reserving housing for those who can afford to make an early, non-refundable, deposit is another way to insure that everyone actually does NOT play in the same sandbox.
Those with the means, get to pick the nicest sandboxes.
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And my child will be 0 miles away as he’s going to commute. Even if he had wanted to live on campus he’d be <1 mile away.
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If you waited til 5/1, there’s a chance kids go into alternatives - area housing - so yes.
But again - not all housing is public and it will become less so in future years. I buy muni bonds - if anyone is a muni bond player and you go to your brokerage and look at muni bonds- you’d be amazed at the # of dorms being funded by muni bonds. Bondholders have an expectation of timely interest payments and principal return. The schools have promised this.
When you look at financials - some schools show 80% occupancy. Others 102% occupancy.
I appreciate your perspective and you’re not wrong and I’m not saying I disagree in theory - but yes the rich get the nicest.
We mentioned that upthread but perhaps those who don’t deposit and settle for the worst/cheapest might have done so anyway.
In the end, if no one deposited, maybe the schools would change their ways - but that’s not going to happen.
And again, you’re assuming the college is public and therefore it owes people.
But it may be publicly administered, but it still has financial needs like every business - and while many may not realize it, more and more of these dorms aren’t public - they are in partnership with private enterprises. Not most, not many - but more and more every year. I see them and on occasion I invest in them (hence my lending to App State and UNCW amongst publics - plus Soutern Missouri State and Wester Missouri - schools I know nothing about but I figure, worst case the state will cover them - right?
Maybe not - their bond ratings aren’t great.
We’re not 100% committed, but it’s likely mine will be 2500 miles. 
Oh, just that he’s gotten very little personal attention, except for the (computer-generated) videos. Yeah, the portal’s a mess too. And no merit - though he is in-state and just very good stats, not stellar, not NMF or anything, so I guess that’s not surprising.
He went to the accepted student visit, emailed his regional rep beforehand to set up something like a meeting/sit in on a class with his major’s dept., got a reply that no, that couldn’t be worked out but “we expect a professor from that department to be at the session” – and then there wasn’t a prof from his major at the session, blergh.
Smartly, he took it upon himself not to rely on that, and also reached out blind via email to a dept. head, and did end up getting a meeting with the guy. But it was pretty bland and he didn’t come away from the meeting feeling very enthused; guy was kind of formulaic and not very lively, I guess?
He’s on the wait list for the honors college, so that’s depressing, because the HC setup in the Cathedral of Learning is gorgeous…and basically off-limits unless he gets in… but anyway, I’m not even sure HC offers much beyond early registration and the LLC dorm - I’ve not seen much to impress, but maybe that’s also just me.
Anyway, I just feel like he’s gotten so much love from the dozen other colleges he’s admitted to, and he’s like a puppy mooning over the big dog that’s aloof and too busy to play. And I am angry mama gator for him.
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We are also going to be empty nesters and are getting so sad about it. Meanwhile S23 can’t wait to be done with high school and just get to college already! Seniors finish May 9th so he is getting very close. He will be about 4 hours away - not too bad and DH jokes he is going to go over every weekend.
D19- 828 miles away
D21- 2046 miles away (never realized it was that far - luckily its a direct flight!)
S23 - 226 miles away
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I’m so sorry, mama. This is a tough time in this process. Pardon me if you have explained. Is there a reason he doesn’t want to go to Bama?
Oh my goodness, I am pissed at Pitt now too. And if you haven’t told your son that Pitt is the worst and he should accept any of the other schools instead, you’ve already earned angel wings as the most patient and loving mama in Pennsylvania.
Because as you clearly recognize, this is your son’s decision and while I would fully support your full anger bear coming out, you know that isn’t what your son needs right now.
The mantra I repeat in situations like this is, “This will all work out, maybe not the way I thought it would or planned but it will work out.” Maybe while having a big glass of wine and a nice piece of chocolate.
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@BeverlyWest Thank you - he is obsessed with being in a city, and Tuscaloosa ain’t it. He visits there this weekend. I think he’ll love everything about Bama except the location, which, unfortunately, is his #1 thing.
@beebee3 Thank you also! And yes, I have not breathed one word of my sadness/anger to him. Nor would I. It’s just eating me up. And I vent to hubby, who basically has no patience with it, because he’s easy about letting stuff roll off his back and I hold grudges for decades.
It’s all me. I know this. I need therapy. lol.
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Well, the good thing is that it’s not eating up your S23. My daughter ended up choosing between an absolutely beautiful, personal, little jewel of an LAC who really crossed all of their t’s when we visited, and a big city school that was nowhere near as personal. Nice, but not like the other school. At the end of the weekend, she was really torn - because she did see all the LAC had to offer, but then she said “I don’t want to be coddled.” Maybe he sees Pitt like that, maybe he sees their lack of personal attention as a tribute to his independence? Maybe he doesn’t want that kind of attention.
You can probably tell from what I wrote, which school would have been my pick. But I also stifled myself because…her instincts for what she needs are usually spot on.
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We look like we will be about 10 miles away!
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My S23 definitely doesn’t want coddling. He goes to a small, very rigorous, private school. He’s tired of having everyone up in his business. He feels he has the academic chops and he’s ready to prove himself and be independent. Glad he feels that way as he’s about to be thrust into a big, competitive, cut throat, pressure cooker… and he’s thrilled.
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Yes - and please, I hope no one misunderstands what I wrote. I didn’t mean to say LAC’s are for kids who are not independent - I went to a small LAC, loved it. I was very independent. Coddled was her word. I told her it’s not coddling, but it’s just kind of nice to know that there are people actively looking out for you. (Nice for mom to feel that!) But she feels like it would somehow keep her from flying. We will see how she feels when she is in Boston with the rodents and no money left on her meal card…
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Even though my daughter was in driving distance (“just” across the bridge), she was absolutely adamant in pretending she was 3 times zones away. No way would she entertain the thought that anything forgotten/missed could be quickly dropped off.
THAT lasted exactly one semester… Then she was over it, and graciously embraced that accepting common-sense convenience does not interfere with “flight”.
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Meanwhile, my super independent and non-emotional kid – who attends a large public high school and never asks anyone for help with his work – is agonizing over his college decision. His brain is telling him to go for the big dog. Much to our surprise, his gut is telling him to go where he’s feeling the most love and attention.
He could attend the large public with the most prestige (which he has characterized as “cold” metaphorically), or he could go somewhere he feels is “warm”. When asked how he’d feel being part of a potentially small cohort at the “warmer” schools, he said “honestly, that sounds pretty nice.” I think he might want some coddling after a lifetime of educationally hands-off parents!
It sounds like our kids figure out what they need the most. It’s both difficult and satisfying to observe.
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A year ago I thought a school like Harvey Mudd, Pitzer, or Claremont could be a perfect fit for my son. He was a STEM kid, but used to a small, religious, private school. I really thought a STEM-y LAC could be perfect. Wow, did he hate those tours. After touring some small schools he was sure he wanted a big research university. I do think we as parents have to listen to our kids preferences and concerns as it’s their educations, but it can definitely be hard if we disagree with their choices. I’m sure my kid will thrive at Berkeley, he’s certainly well prepared academically, but I can’t help feeling like he’s about to be thrown in the deep end of the pool.
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Yeah, my D23, if a college had anything in its promotional materials along the lines of “Here you’re a name, not just a number” it was immediately off the list. She wants to be a number.
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LOL. At the Claremont college tour a year ago, the tour guide said there were 12-15 students in most of her classes and if you missed class, the professor would call you to check in. My son was like, “get me the hell out of here.” 
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