Parents of the HS Class of 2023 (Part 2)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
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So - I knew he was going to Oregon State a long time ago. Just by the way you have been communicating about it.

It’s funny - I knew my daughter was going to College of Charleston - Thanksgiving Weekend Junior year when we visited. Yet she still wanted to go see every school and then some and still wanted to apply to every school - which she did - 21 in all.

When she got down to the Final Four, then Final 2, and then told us, it was a yawn. She’s like - why aren’t you like wow- and we were like we already knew. And she said - my friends were the same - they already knew. How could that be??

You’ve raved about your son’s experience. @eyemgh has contributed some really impressive stuff about OSU, etc. So yeah it was obvious.

You have such an impressive list that you could name any school - and have buyer’s remorse - NEU, but not main campus to start. UCI - but it’s not Berkeley. Cal Poly - but it’s not a UC. Ohio State - but it’s far - can he get home out West.

He’s studying engineering - right?

Quite simply - it won’t matter.

I hated my son’s school choice over other “more respectable.”. Not sure what he feels four years later about his choice - but he had interviews coming out his ears and 5 job offers in the Fall before he stopped - and they are offers at the same income of higher level schools.

He interned, from a low ranked, with Ga Tech kids - he went back, they weren’t invited.

Your son will have every opportunity at OSU - and he loves it. No need to second guess anything.

It’s where he belongs and he’ll do great!!!

Oh, and I knew he was going there - especially when you say things like - and everyone loves cars!!! I’m sure others knew too!!

Congrats - that you got to the right place, however long it took - is awesome for your family.

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862

Your husband and you went to schools with very recognizable names. Everyone, everywhere knows those names. When you say you went to that school, it evokes a response from others. Is your husband looking for the same for your child? Does he (or you) feel that people will ooh and ahh over UC Davis or SLO?

863

He has been so thorough and thoughtful about the reasons why Oregon State might be the best place for him, and because he’s likely going into a field where school name matters far less than it might in a different area of study, it’s going to be fine. But I get it! It is hard not to want there to be like a hidden “but I turned down X/Y/Z school to pick this one” printed on the sweatshirt/bumper sticker etc.

The key thing is that he’s going to thrive there! And he knows that. Congratulations on getting close to the end!

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864

Some parts of finance (PE, IB, Quant), and maybe management consulting (because they are putting you in front of a client very early in your career). Law depends on law school rankings.

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865

I think my husband is looking for that, yes. He also grew up in the soviet union where he was looked down upon for being jewish, etc. (He came to the US just before he started college.) He worries about our kids having the proper credentials so that people will respect them and treat them properly in the future.

For him, the UC brand is VERY meaningful, and he would rather see our kids going to any one of the UCs, rather than SLO, or a lower ranked OOS school.

I grew up in CA and OR, and I don’t feel quite the same way. Having lots of experience with the big name schools that I attended and friends attended, I feel like they aren’t necessarily all that. My own career has been okay, but a bit underwhelming when you look at the names of the schools I attended. I personally feel that especially in engineering, it’s more about your own accomplishments rather than the school you went to.

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866

Attended admitted students day at Lehigh on Friday. What an amazing school. My D23 loves it. DH is an alum. The only problem is that she wants to study forensic science and they don’t have it. She would study biology and wait to study FS in grad school.

So she’s deciding between Syracuse (that has the EXACT program she wants and she loves it there) and Lehigh. She truly cannot go wrong. But can she hurry up? I’m stressed OUT.

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867

That’s very understandable, but keep reassuring your husband that Oregon is not “low-ranked”, it is an R1 research institution, with a well regarded accredited engineering program, and a very good SAE team. It aligns really well with your sons interests and provides him with everything he needs to be successful in life.

Your son is clearly a smart young man, and it sounds like he thought about this a lot. That’s a really good indicator of success. And engineering is definitely a meritocracy – we really quickly know who can hack it and who can’t out in the real world, and if you can hack it, then you are always, always in demand. At least until ChatGPT makes us all irrelevant … :slight_smile:

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My brother in law did engineering at Oregon State. He now has his PhD in engineering and is very successful! He had a great experience and Corvallis and the surrounding area is beautiful!

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Yeah, SU is a no brainer!!! Lehigh is a fine school though - but if you can’t study what you want, what’s the point?

Can you check career outcomes to help her? Is SU placing in the field? Is Lehigh, without a direct major, placing in the field?

Lehigh doesn’t have Criminal Justice either - so nothing tangential although sometimes it’s housed in Sociology, for example.

What’s the allure of Lehigh for this student - besides daughter loves it? I get it - but then daughter likely has to change her career path. You can love lots of schools. If she knew she wanted this career before applying, not even sure how it made the list.

Good luck.

PS - it’s easy at 17 to assume grad school but after they’re in school a year or two and beat up, many are done.

PPS - is grad school needed in this field? I’m sure for higher level positions but what about the actual nuts and bolts people?

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870

I think my husband also remembers his own undergraduate experience at NYU, and wants our son to experience living in a big city at this age! He got really excited about some of the cities on S23’s list (Montreal, Toronto, Seattle etc.) So the idea that our son will be in Corvallis is a bit of a let down for him :slight_smile:

My son kept saying that he wanted to go to school in a city, but then when he actually visited Davis, SLO, and Oregon State, he felt happier in those places. I feel like the perfect mix for him might be a small college town as a home base, combined with travel abroad and internships in interesting cities.

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But it’s not your husband going.

While I’m Jewish, I can’t imagine having grown up in Russia - so I get it.

But UW is not in Seattle. I mean it is, but it’s adjacent if you will to downtown, a few miles away - and half the city is closed (no labor) - at least last Summer.

I love baseball cards. My son loves cars. I wish he loved baseball cards - I have albums and boxes worth - but he is different. He also loves trees - I look at them and he’s telling me about the types and all that - confierous, deciduous or other stuff - and I just don’t care. We were skiing and he kept stopping at the top of the chair lifts to take pictures of the trees. He won a book about trees at school because they had a content, first to find these 20 or 30 trees on campus wins - and that was him. And what else matters but him??

I don’t get it. His interests are so different. But it happens. It’s hard for a dad - but our lives - the technology, everything has changed - and our kids think differently. Plus, he’s half of you!!

All will be ok - and he can always live in a city later!!!

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I don’t know anything about forensic science. Is this a common path? Would a more general undergraduate degree be a plus if there is a chance she may want to change her direction later on? Or is an undergraduate degree in FS a must?

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For undergraduate degrees, most famously investment banking.

However, there are some signs (mostly anecdotal, though, so take that with a large grain of salt) that the degree-prestige game is breaking down even there.

(Postscript: It’s not like Oregon State has no name recognition, you know? Certainly more name recognition with the general public than, say, Williams or Haverford.)

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874

I totally get this. I grew up poor and getting to go to a highly ranked school was something I never had on the table. I would probably have a really hard time if my kid decided on one of his other admits instead of Berkeley. Thankfully, we’re all in agreement that Berkeley is the best place for him to study physics.

Side note, I really hoped your kid would end up at SLO!

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875

Don’t most kids planning on forensics major in chemistry if there isn’t a specific forensics degree? One of my son’s friends is doing forensics and the course sequence is almost identical to chemistry.

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876

With all kindness and understanding for your husband, this is what I was going to say. :arrow_up: . OSU is his dream with the SAE program. I think we have to be careful not to put our own desires on our kids and sway them. Lord knows i had a hard time and was far from perfect in this respect, but I hope your H will see the beauty in your kid knowing exactly what he wants. OSU is a great school with a lot of creative, smart people.

Meant to reply to @tamagotchi

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877

Remember, he can live in a city anytime. I lived in NYC right after graduation.

I know you are looking out for him to make his decision. :heart:

I will add that I lived in corvallis and had two engineering and science friends who had a great experience and now have lucrative careers in California. One travels the world as a consultant and a couple years ago did a Ted talk. It’s a sweet school.

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878

I’m so sorry for your husband’s trauma - that would have been a very difficult upbringing and it seems that he is trying to ensure that your son doesn’t go through what he did.

Hopefully he may be able to recognize that he is overlaying his traumatic experiences on to your son’s life, and responding in protective and defensive ways that are no longer needed, but do feel very real to him.

Your son’s life and circumstances are entirely different here; he has a wonderful path ahead of him at OSU, and I hope his Dad can come to recognize that in time. <3

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879

Oh, I completely understand how you feel, but it’s where he wants to be, so that’s what’s important.

It’s what I keep telling myself also: I’m not the one going to college, butt out!

It’s hard to let go, isn’t it? We’ve been micro-managing their lives for 18-odd years, making the “best” choices, doing everything we can to set them up for success, and this is the first major choice of probably many that they will make that are theirs alone, and we think it should be a different choice, but this is what we raised them to do: not be mini-me’s but be themselves.

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880

@tamagotchi I echo everything blueberriesforsal has written.

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