Oh my gosh, people. 
I hope she never says any such thing to him. In fact, I might even ask her to not give your child any opinions. Heās made his decision. Her job opportunity as a caring adult is to support him. (Iām giving this person the benefit of the doubt. 
)
4 Likes
wow - just saw on the fb paying for college group a posting of a 100million gift to MS State! incredible; and sounds like itāll be used for scholarships. can you imagine the opportunities this will provide?!
6 Likes
In happier news, I notice that since S23 chose a less rejective school because it was the BEST one for him, his 9th grade sister has become visibly less stressed about doing the perfect things to optimize her high school weighted GPA and craft the perfect portfolio of ECs (she had been really worried about this recently). She now seems to be more focused on exploring her actual interests.
25 Likes
As it should be.
5 Likes
D24 is way more open minded about schools thanks to seeing how happy her D22 sister is socially and academically at a less rejective school. It has definitely taken away a little bit of the stress as she prepares to apply next year.
11 Likes
Right there with you - twins - one at an Ivy and one at a small LAC that just gets stares. Both kids equally qualified with almost identical grades, same test scores and good ECs - we cared 100% about fit and drilled that into them over and over. I think having part of Jr year and all of Sr year Covid and online really helped to get off the āwhere are you goingā questions.
I did have a problem - not my kids or husband - and felt I had to quantify her choice of a small LAC and list all the other schools the counselor recommended and why she didnāt pursue - I am over that now 
Their educational experiences are both wonderful and I donāt even like to tell people where either of my kids go with one school getting an awe and the other a blank stare or even worse ātwins are so differentā - not said is a nice way! One parent said āI thought Child B was really smartā - Child B is not the one at an Ivy - and my response should have been that she is really smart and true to herself - UGH !!!
Hang in there everyone - happy kids in college is worth it
13 Likes
Speaking of big money in academia. I recently requested a meeting with my dean because in over 6 years of employment, I have only had a total of $3.70/hr raise. The university froze our salaries for 3 years. They took away our 401k matching for 2 years. So only $1/hr raise basically for the 3 years I actually got one.
Now the university says that they have a few million dollars available for merit increases for ādeserving employees.ā Yet we will likely see none of it.
1 Like
My D has a handful of friends who have committed to URI, and a few more who may commit there before May 1st as theyāre still deciding. The students we know who already attend are very happy there!
4 Likes
Yep. My daughter is a 21 grad and I agree that it was so nice to avoid all that chatter. Not so with my 23, who is going to a place we all love but I assume most of our peers assume itās b/c he didnāt get into our state flagship (where he didnāt apply b/c itās definitely not the right place for him.)
The crazy thing is that if you know LACs, you know my daughterās school. But if LACs arenāt on your radar, then it doesnāt matter how well known the school is. Chances are youāve never heard of it.
9 Likes
My daughter is deciding between 2 great LACs and the few people I have told (at work because I am taking off time for visits), have all said hmmmm never heard of that, or they think they have heard of oneā¦. The grandparents are hoping she picks the one with more national name recognition, but everything I read about it tells me it is not the one for her.
6 Likes
I edited my earlier post so it was more fact than opinion, but Iām from New Hampshire where there are many charming small towns. Orono needed a bit more for us.
My assessment of the town was within a longer post about how impressed we were by the school, the program, and the opportunities; I certainly did not mean to dis UMAINE.
7 Likes
I have gone through this process twice now and never once would I trust a counselor to give advice to my kids. I viewed them as someone we needed a LOR from. That is all we took from them.
I will take you back 33 years ago and I had an English teacher who was more than a teacher he was a friend. He helped me apply to a T20 school. Even took a group for a visit that was 800 miles away. I got in. Money was coming up short. He found a scholarship for me at the last sec. I had already committed to state flagship with about 90% of COA paid for. He put down the deposit himself. The found scholarship was from a foundation of a friend. It covered my shortfall. Dad worked construction and it was slow so he had to travel. Money had been tight for many years. Without the help from my teacher I would have never gone. From there I met my wife. She was first gen also. We joked we went to this rich school and found the two poorest people. We would marry a year after graduation and eventually have two girls. We named our second child the surname of the teacher. I guess we got it right as D23āwill become a HS teacher. And she is a compassionate soul.
D23 has had a teacher that has left a mark on her. D23 started ASL classes and has had 2 years. The teacher saw good in D23. She wrote D23 a LOR even though it isnāt a core class. I think that letter played a large role in D23 getting a full ride. I know it didnāt hurt. The teacher did tell D23 another school might be better. But in the end they saw the light. D23 wants to teach HS social studies and History at a school for the deaf.
The best thing is the old teacher had love for trivia and I took to it. I passed it down to D23. And it wouldnāt surprise me if one day we see D23 on Jeopardy.
I know there are good, bad and great teachers. Always try to have a good teacher, but when you get a great on hold on to them because they will help the students go well past to places we all only dreamed of. My only saddness was he never got to meet my two great kids who he played a role of building.
19 Likes
Thatās just horrible! And really hard to deal with in a way that takes the higher roadā¦ 
1 Like
(Unclear if there is a separate thread on this topic)ā¦
Once oneās young adult child gets into college, do parents get any information or way to interact with the college/university? We know our son put a deposit down on his next school. He said the admitted student day coming up is āfullā. He has not set up his new school email. And, as parents, are now wondering if we have confirmation that he is interacting and following up on next steps necessary for enrollment. Can revisit days really be full?
This may depend on the school. Some of the colleges this application round send me a copy of all the emails going to S23, but these tend to be religious oriented LACs and Baylor (also religious). S23 also gave me the passwords etc. to all the portals because he doesnāt actually like to deal with that stuff. He also forwards me all emails from the schools.
Could you sit down with your child and have him share the passwords just for now (that is, for this application/admission phase of the process)? Our bane is DUO since it goes to Sās phone, and so I have to text him to put in the code, but I have heard we just need to have a time when you can actually have DUO open and have the applicant add devices to it, which is what we are going to do.
I also suspect if you call and give his student ID number that they might answer questions for you at Admissions since he isnāt actually a student yet. Iām not sure if they are supposed to, but it seems to work. They could also answer general questions like the spots open in Admitted Days.
1 Like
Suggest he reaches out to his regional admissions rep. Other than financial stuff, it really should be his responsibility at this point. You can still nag, though. :;
As far as going forward, it really depends on the school. You will not be able to see a lot of things unless he lets you.
My D19ās school had an official parent group that sent out a really useful email newsletter every month - this is how I found out about payment plans and move-out dates and such, bc no way was my kid keeping me apprised of all that stuff.
I also recommend seeking out a (legit) FB parent group. Make sure itās not run by Humans of Universityā¦
3 Likes
My experience thus far with our first who is at a large public (a UC school) is that you will get little direct communication from the college other than what the student grants you in terms of third-party access. Our son asked via some settings that we be copied on emails related to tuition, maybe some health and safety things, but otherwise we get nothing other than a few fundraising emails. The schools treat them like adults.
5 Likes
Our school had the kids set up a proxy portal so parents could have access to certain thingsā¦like paying the bursar bill! Our D had to give us permission to see or do just about everything. We do have a parent newsletter from the university, the alumni association, and also her honors college but itās clear the expectation is that the kids are really legal adults and they steer ship and can gate keep what parents access.
That said, you can still call admissions and ask about revisit days. Yes they can be full, but you can ask if theyāll be opening up more dates or wait lists. You can also ask your son to show you what heās done so far for confirming enrollment, housing, deposits, etcā¦
4 Likes
In general, your young adult child must give permission for any information to be shared with you. My kid apparently has options in his portal that control what information can be shared, and who it can be shared with.
You may be able to set up a parent account to make this information sharing easier. Itās not recommended to use your childās login information, for a variety of reasons.
Yes!
2 Likes
Wow! Wonder what their 2023 acceptance rate will be as Iām sure it dropped with so many more applicants. S24 loved his visit there on Tuesday.
1 Like