@sbinaz , I totally agree with all your points. I am not looking for a T10/20 at all. All I am looking for a constant effort from her. I think she was bit motivated in sophomore year and lost that motivation now.
I understand not all kids can be good at planning but I am there to help her and she doesn’t like my help. I really appreciate your daughter, at she listens to you and follows your suggestions. I have been following your posts since long time.
I really don’t know at this what she is interested in but all her ECs related to law and government. Hope she continues that interest at least. We have not yet visited any colleges and it’s very expensive to even visit a college but we will definitely think about it.
Thanks for your advice. Just keeping figures crossed and praying God.
I don’t know if this with work with your daughter - but even looking through the Fiske College guide (very inexpensive on Amazon) to start reading about schools was a motivator and allowed our kids to look forward to college.
We also have the funds to pay for college and told both of our children we would fund their education - but they must put in the effort to have choices including the option for merit money - if the school provided merit. Otherwise they would have limited choices and we had the right to veto schools - as wouldn’t justify an expensive choice, if they decided not to put in the effort. We were much nicer about it - vs how I am typing it 
We also always spoke about college and continuing the love of learning, meeting new people, new experiences and a time to grow. It was never about ROI - but our kids also know they must be able to support themselves when they graduate. I have just seen focusing on majors, careers too early - just adds to the pressure and we just have to have the confidence in our children to find their path after college.
My husband and I are both hold liberal arts degrees and still find the hiring at our current/former companies love liberal arts kids -they can research, think and work in teams even in the tech field. Degree is not an issue when we sort entry level resumes - and I am talking about 3 Fortune 500 companies with generous pay and stock options.
There is also a chance the tutor is just not the right fit and/or your child just needs to wait until summer and try again with tutoring. If she is not willing or able to participate - then this is her choice and can’t see it getting better if you push (obviously just based on my kids - no expert here!)
Life is long and your parenting and interest will pay off - just might not be until a bit later.
I totally understand where you are coming from and how hard it is to let go. I am also struggling a bit with this and and having to adjust some expectations.
Our S24 will listen when we talk but 90% of the time will do what he wants to do. He is very independent and now I am trying to still talk about consequences and then if he chooses something we don’t agree with we let him do it.
His grades have gone down a bit this year. So I told him he needs to improve next sem or rule out some of the colleges that were on his radar. I prepared an excel with admitted student GPA/SAT score and told him to take a look and how he needs to choose other colleges. This seemed to have made him realize that he needs to put more focus on grades this sem.
I also have started making him do a schedule for what he would work on Friday/Saturday and Sunday. When there is schedule he tends to follow. May be having a schedule ahead of time may work for your daughter also.
Also hired a tutor for one of the AP’s classes he is having tough time. He was against it but agreed for it after he got a B in the first sem. I have realized he needs do stuff his own way and if that work he is more open to listening,
I think @sbinaz and @Curium245 had some good ideas. Good luck.
Our school counselor recommended to start out by visiting one nearby big university and one nearby/easy to get to smaller college. Just so your kid can get a general feel of “this is what a big/small school looks/feels like.”
My daughter has definitely fought us every step of the way. Always asks “Why?” Man, that kid is VERY stubborn! 
It hasn’t been a walk in the park.
My older one was like this. This was before COVID and his sophomore year was all about what he wanted to do and it was not work on schoolwork. The truth is he is not as much of a student as my husband, myself and my S24 and he found what he does excel at and is interested in. And if he wouldn’t have figured that out there are many many schools that would have loved to have him and would love to have your D.
Dont understand your question, how does ED change ROI of a school?
Yes, kind of. Is it really worth investing that much of amount even for an undergrad degree?
That is a bigger question than ED. I think it is, there are ROI analysis for many schools. But my older one is getting a BFA in acting, so my decision making process on cost benefits may not be reliable, ha!
The topic of ROI when it comes to paying for a college education is very subjective and can vary a lot from one family to another.
For example, there are many who deem the ROI to be ‘worth it’ to pay for upwards of $75-80k/year for 4 years in order to have the ‘brand name’ recognition for a particular school. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some people can afford that…some can’t. Some parents who can’t afford $75k/year take out hundreds of thousands of $$ of Parent PLUS loans in order to help pay for it. It’s a very individual decision and there’s no one definite ‘right’ answer.
In our case, DH & I figured out what we were able to pay per year and told D24 what that # is (tuition, room & board for attending in-state). So if she wants to attend a private college or a public university out of state, she’ll need merit scholarships to bring the cost down to that in-state amount. We are not willing to sign up for Parent PLUS loans. If D24 falls in love with a school that’s just out of reach of that $$ amount/year, she could choose to get the ~$5500/yr federally subsidizes student loan and/or work extra each summer to save up for the coming school year and work a part time job during the school year.
My DH talks a lot about “ROI” in terms of paying for our kids’ college education. If he had everything his way, “ROI” = he’d only pay for a computer science or engineering degree.
Well, guess what? Neither of our kids want to pursue a major in either of those things. 
So DH & I compromised (after much bickering & arguing, to be honest). Based on DH & my agreement w/each other, we told D24 & D26 that we’ll pay for 4 years and once they’re graduated, they need to be gainfully employed and able to support themselves…so they can major in whatever they want (yes, even underwater basketweaving), but when the kid graduates with the BS/BA degree, needs to be able to pay their own rent.
A lot of people assume that where you went to college plays a major role in one’s financial success in one’s career later in life. To be honest, though, MOST of the time, it only makes a difference for your first full time gig out of college. After that, usually employers only care if you got a degree or not. The exception to that would be the legal profession…going to a top ranked law school does end up opening up a lot of career doors throughout one’s career as a lawyer.
I totally agree but these days I see many of them talk about ED so just checking. I know law career requires a top college but that’s definitely not in undergrad.
You can ED anywhere. There are lower cost schools that have ED. The discussion of ED is about having a higher likelihood of admission because the school knows it is your first choice. It makes no difference for most for merit aid. And there are some schools that have higher rate of returns esp for finance degrees, and those don’t require graduate schools. If you are going to professional or grad school expensive undergrad is def not necc.
Thanks @helpingthekid73! Just curious, Do they consider students for merit aid in ED? Do they even give need based in ED?
Of course! Many schools are need blind and give aid based on need regardless of application status. My S 24 is interested in Vanderbilt and I know that kids who applied there ED got full merit scholarships.
There are kids who applied RD and got full tuition merit as well. The catch is you have to complete a separate essay by December 1 which is right in between the ED and RD deadlines. Definitely worth the extra time for anyone applying to Vandy. Schollie is worth a quarter of a million bucks.
Does anyone know when Rice is releasing their RD decisions? Or at least what date they released last year? It still says “by April 1”? Thank you!
I am not expecting Vandy for my kid. these days it has become Ivy in the Midwest. My point was if all need blind colleges give merit/need based scholarships to ED students.
I was responding to helpingthekid73 not your post.
oh ok but do you have any idea about my point too regarding scholarships for ED to colleges?
Need-based aid should still be provided to students who apply ED and should be pretty in-line with the Net Price Calculator If the NPC is off from what the school says, and the family can’t afford it, then a family can back out. (A family can back out anyway, but it’s considered bad form.)
With respect to merit aid and ED, there are colleges that still grant merit aid to ED students. There is a sense among some people that some colleges tend to be less generous with merit aid to ED students because they don’t need to woo the students to come there…the student, by applying ED, has basically said they’re coming if the financials look like what was likely. And if you ED to a school but also apply EA or RD but early for scholarship deadlines and end up getting a great scholarship from the non-ED school a day before you get the ED acceptance, well, you’re pretty morally obligated to attend the ED school if the financials appear to be what they were indicated prior to applying. So, that’s part of the risk in applying ED. You may get less merit aid but you’re more likely to be accepted.
Yes, AustenNut summed it up very nicely for you. I am one of the people that believe most schools are not as generous with merit aid for ED admits because “they have you”. Having said that some schools require you to apply EA or ED in order to receive their merit scholarships e.g. Stamps scholarship at U Miami. It is also my well-researched opinion that you are NOT more likely to get admitted ED at highly selective colleges. The higher ED admission rate is because MANY recruited athletes, children of donors and school employees, and legacies are accepted in the early round. I believe if you are not one of those groups your chances are not materially improved whatsoever at HYP SCEA and marginally (but not to the level that the ED increased admit percentage suggests) at the other Ivies. Now, as pointed out, there ARE schools that applying ED not only increases your chances but is almost an absolute requirement to getting accepted because they practice egregious yield protection. Hello Miami. Feel free to go to the Miami thread and see the caliber of students being WL and read my stats about their yield protection to try to improve in the rankings. I have yet to hear of anyone (although I am sure there are some) who applied to Miami RD and were accepted for fall 2023 ( I saw some EA deferred that were admitted for spring). Only 12% of Miami admits come from RD and I am willing to bet that they are almost exclusively ED deferred so that the school knows that they will accept their offer since they indicated Miami was their first choice by applying ED. Hope this helps.