That’s the thing. He’s not really eager to get the A at all costs. Like I know if he did secure the A, in the end he would be really happy, but in the now moment he’s just annoyed and wants to be done with the semester. He very much gets stuck in the now.
We’ve told him many times that getting the best grades you are capable of just gives you more choices. He’s already making comments about wanting to do community college and then transfer. I totally support that choice, but right now at 14 he just isn’t where he will be mentally and emotionally at 18 and I don’t want him to then change his mind later on but be left with fewer options because of choices he made at 14 when he didn’t really know better. If he continues to get good grades he simply will have options. That’s all I want for him, and I know he wouldn’t want to be pigeon holed somewhere because it was the only school that would accept him.
I’m sure a lot of my frustration is I have to learn to accept he is not naturally motivated and that he’s content where he is. I know he’s capable of so much more but I don’t know what I can do to bring that out of him. Maybe I’m not supposed to and I continue to meet him where he is.
Thank you for sharing your experience with you daughters.
One advantage of going the CC→transfer route: Once you have an AA (or are on track to get one at the end of the academic year), high school grades aren’t needed for most colleges. It’s a godsend for people (like me, I will note in passing) who didn’t really think to apply themselves properly to academics til college.
Depending on the CC, of course, good grades in high school can still be useful in getting scholarships and such, but the financial stakes tend to be lower.
Yes and it does take pressure off to know that there are good options on the table. Our high school does a great job of really trying to encourage and support the CC route and remove the stigma that 4 years of residential college is not the end all be all and not everyone needs to or can take that path. I know several kids who did the CC - transfer route and they wouldn’t change a thing.
I do know that when my S25 visited his sister at her college for family weekend in the fall he absolutely loved the vibe Of college life and the energy etc, so I might need to remind him of how he felt that weekend and the comment he made. “Man, I want to get good grades so I can do this.”
Picklenut6, my kid is similar. He’s so, so smart, but his goal is A’s and B’s. I know he’s capable of all A’s given his test scores, but he just doesn’t see it as being that important. My husband and I both worry about his lack of motivation, but we try to remind ourselves that it took both of us until later in our academic careers to find that “fire” to excel. I’m trying to dial back my anxiety about it and try to focus on what’s important–he’s happy and seems to enjoy school. I’m trying to find the balance between pushing him to try things out of his comfort zone and also honoring his wishes when he says he absolutely doesn’t want to do something. I think your thought to “meet him where he is” is very wise. My guess and my hope is that these boys will see the larger picture as they progress through school and see the expanded options that they could have if they excel.
Thank you for sharing, your reply actually teared me up. It definitely helps to hear about others who are in the same boat. I truly believe as they get older they will get wiser. They are just so young right now and I know my son can’t really see beyond today in terms of the effects of his grades right now and what opportunities will present to him based off of them.
My son is happy too. High school is so much more enjoyable for him compared to middle school, so I am definitely grateful for that and take it as a big win already.
It’s hard but you can’t want it for them more than they want it themselves. What I have done with mine once is to show them they typical scores of students that have gotten into schools that they like, tell them things are getting more competitive, then I leave it at that. I can’t be more invested than they want to be. As long as they know what is at stake, it’s their choice.
Well I guess I wound up worrying for no reason, that or my son is already starting to mature. He is on board to study and take the extra test this week to try and finish with an A. I made it clear that no matter the outcome I am proud of him for trying his best and taking advantage of the opportunity. I truly feel that way and am so happy to see this shift with him today.
Paywalled, but the important bits are that the SAT will, as of spring 2024, switch from paper to digital format, shrink from 3 hours to 2, and use “adaptive” questions.
(The comments section is, predictably enough, going crazy with people who are freaked out by this, see it as proof that high school and college is being dumbed down, and other such reactions evidencing a lack of the sort of reading comprehension that the SAT claims to test.)
College Board just trying to keep dollar bills flowing in.
After the debacle the class of 2021 faced we already decided our son won’t take the SAT or the ACT. We will focus our search solely on test blind or test optional schools. The list is growing and I expect it will continue to grow.
My D21 had no problems getting generous merit based solely on her grades.
If my son wants to take the tests I will support him but we have laid the groundwork that he will have plenty of choices without out it. So far he seems relieved to it have that on his plate.
Interesting about the SAT! Shorter is definitely better. Like, three hours is a long test for me, and I’m old. I don’t know if we’ll be able to completely skip it because my kid wants large OOS schools, but it is nice to know that it is shorter if she does take it.
My kid is drafting her schedule for next year and made this list:
English 2
Chemistry
Health/Yoga
Algebra 2 Advanced
Mandarin 2
French 2
AP European History
Hates science, so not doing Honors/AP. Loves languages and at this rate will take two foreign languages for 4 years. Doesn’t hate math and is getting an A, so I said take the accelerated if you think you can handle it. She did not want to take the Honors math (which is Algebra 2 and Precalc in a year, so the kids can take 2 years of Calc–egads). Not sure about the AP Euro course but she picked it.
Yes the test will be shorter but students will likely have to learn new test taking strategies because it will be adaptive. They will have to pay close attention to the first section because that will dictate the difficulty of the next section which will all affect how high of a score they can get.
We’ve started to talk about the schedule next year and my kid strongly told me he wants to level down in science. He’s taking honors bio this year and finds it way too intense especially considering he’s not interested in science at all. He will take Chemistry next year which at our school is already a challenge. He also wants to take AP Euro and continue with his third year of Mandarin. Crazy how fast freshman year is going!
I’m actually quite curious about the details of how the adaptive SAT is going to work. Depending on those details, what you outline is either true or not.
In fact, it’s unclear beyond that whether it will be a “How many did you get right?” system (which has multiple types; the original computerized GRE was that with a difficulty tree, which can be very easily gamed, and they know that so I’m not expecting such an approach) or a “How difficult a question can you answer?” (which is what my state’s standardized K–12 assessments are, and can get exhausting for high-achieving kids) or a hybrid of those or whatever. I mean, it’s even unclear if questions will be weighted by difficulty level for either presentation or scoring or both.
Sweet little update. My son prepared for the optional test and he got a 100 and secured an A for the semester. The best part is how happy he is. He said “it’s my first 100 on a math test this year!” I hope he remembers this experience and will continue to try his best and seize opportunities.
My D25 is still debating her schedule for next year. She was going to take AP Psych but now looking to push that off until junior year. They have a 1 semester Intro to Psych she may want to take instead soph year. She feels pretty strongly she wants to get a degree in criminal justice or forensics and/or become a police officer or work in security of some sort. Her school offers online courses in criminal justice, criminology, and national security. They are 100% online but she is very motivated and did just fine with the temporary pandemic pivot.
That’s great she has access to online classes that interest her. At our school you can’t take AP Psych until junior year and it’s not a guarantee you will get it because it’s so popular.
I assume the fall class planning will start happening for us next month. We mapped it out over summer based on what worked for his older sister and what didn’t. I wasn’t involved in her planning process at all and came to realize how strategic one can get.
One thing we worked out was a science path for S25 that would allow him to avoid taking Physics. He will still meet his A-G requirements for California publics so feeling relief about that at least.
My thinking is that it’s good for her to find other options for soph year as well. Preference for AP Psych is given to juniors and seniors. I would hate for her to take an alternate class she was not as interested in when there are options for her that she IS interested in. She is so much more focused and organized than her 2 older brothers!
Glad people are talking about schedules. I had been lurking in the group, but hadn’t posted yet. Would love to hear others thoughts. D’s proposed schedule, but new this year, varsity athletes (and marching band) can opt out of the physical education semester (with a “Pass”) and take another class. She wants to choose “SAT Prep”, which is p/f. Do you think that having the SAT Prep on the transcript could actually hurt her (ie somehow lessen the impact of her score)? Not sure if that makes sense or not. Also, could the class turn out to be worthless if the Any comments would be appreciated.
Was trying to edit and hit the wrong button–Could the class ultimately be worthless with the upcoming changes changes and more colleges phasing out the testing requirement?
on board to study and take the extra test this week to try and finish with an A. I made it clear that no matter the outcome I am proud of him for trying his best and taking advantage of the opportunity. I truly feel that way and am so happy to see this shift with him today.