Parents, please convince me to not drop out of college

<p>I really don't want to drop out considering all of the influences telling me it is a bad idea. All throughout childhood I've been ingrained with the idea "education is the key" and "education leads to a better life" "Don't drop out, just tough it out" and from my Dad "You should set higher standards for yourself". However, I'm almost completely ill at the thought of staying another 3 years and I think I will either end up in the hospital or walking around as a soulless body if I do. For one, I have no reason at all for going to college other than other people telling me it is a good idea. Second, I have absolutely no motivation for getting up in the morning and going to classes. I do not believe in college's purpose, don't like the idea "everyone needs to go to college", and the way they've turned colleges into factories. I especially do not like the way most professors teach- either they are engaged but still teaching useless information, they are engaged teaching semi-useless information but still have that "I am better than you" attitude, or they are totally un-engaged and teaching useless information. The bottom line is, I can't actually believe I am paying for going to these classes and it makes me want to choke because I've already racked up a sizable loan debt. I've already withdrawn (completely twice) and have thought about doing it again almost every day for the past week and a half, and this is only the third week of classes. The only real obstacle to me NOT doing it already is the fear I will later regret it. But honestly I don't see any other way since I am in complete pain any other way.</p>

<p>I’m not a parent, but - instead of thinking about societal expectations, think about YOUR expectations. What do YOU want to do with your life? Sit down one day in front of your computer and think about jobs that you want to do, then click through them online and see what kind of credential you need. Are you the kind of person who doesn’t care what you do as long as it’s bringing in a paycheck? My brother was that kind of person, so after a semester of college he decided the opportunity cost was too great for him; he left and did an 18-week training program and works as an electrical line technician at an electric company making about the same as a BA graduate would make their first year out. He’s just turning 22 this month, but he’s been making that since he was 19 years old and would’ve still been in college had he chosen to go. There are lots of jobs that you can do without a college degree - plumbing, carpentry, electrician, and other skilled jobs.</p>

<p>Then there are jobs you can do with a two-year credential, like nursing and other allied health fields. (Although I will add the caveat that many nursing positions are looking for those with a BSN, but you could always go back later.)</p>

<p>I will say this, though - I find it rather amusing that you’ve concluded that your professors are only three ways and that you don’t like the way they teach when you’ve only been there for a couple of weeks. Why do you think it’s all useless information? Is it because it’s really useless, or because you’re already biased against the college education and you’re looking for a way out? Be honest with yourself and think about the possible utility of some of the classes you are taking. What’s your major? What classes are you in? Obviously there’s a difference in utility for philosophy classes (not that I think they are useless, but you have to have a different perspective to see the use in them) than there is for engineering, business, or nursing classes (that lead directly to a career). But most of the classes they make you take in college have some kind of utility. Unfortunately it’s only easy to see that on the other side, once you’ve graduated and are working.</p>

<p>Always remember this - just because you don’t do college RIGHT NOW does not mean you will never do it. And remember that the vast majority of college attendees go to public universities 50 miles or less from their homes. Even if you decided that you are burned out and need a break from college, should you decide to go back later, you could return to a public university nearby your home and attend school part-time, or you could go to school full-time and work part-time if your parents will let you live at home again. I agree that our culture has required an expectation that EVERY high school senior go to college immediately after high school when that’s not necessarily the best path for everyone.</p>

<p>But consider what will be best for the lifestyle and the career you want to have. If you want to be an engineer, a teacher, a lawyer, or something else that requires 4 years of college (and maybe then some) you will have to get through it. In that case, approach it like a job.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t try to talk you out of it. Not every person is destined to go to college. You gave it a year, and clearly you don’t want to be there.</p>

<p>What is it you want to do? Start there and develop a plan.</p>

<p>If you hate it that much, then withdraw and pursue a trade or whatever. Just do it soon so you can get as much of a refund as possible.</p>

<p>College will be there in a year, or five, or ten, or even never, if that’s what you decide. You don’t HAVE to stay in school right now (but you DO have to repay those loans starting 6 months after you leave school).</p>

<p>Not everyone is ready for college right away, and some are never ready. I have a brother with a college degree who worked on an assembly line his whole life. I have a brother who never went to college who had a professional job that paid a good salary. I have two brothers who left college before finishing their degrees - they own a company together & make a comfortable living. </p>

<p>The only thing I worry about in your post is that it is possible there is more to your feelings than just not liking college. If you do decide to leave school but do not feel better soon after, please consider that you might be depressed. Mental problems are common in college-age students; please be aware of this fact.</p>

<p>There is nothing wrong with taking a break and seeing where life leads you. You have a lifetime ahead of you … if you take a detour, you can always get back on the road if you decide to do so later.</p>

<p>P.S. If you really want me to talk you out of dropping out, though … let me say that if you really do want to stay, then please see a counselor on campus so that you can be comfortable with that choice.</p>

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<p>I actually don’t even know. All I can think of right now is getting out. I am so used to doing something I don’t want that I don’t know what I really want.</p>

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If you decide to quit college, which might be appropriate if you don’t want to go there and won’t apply yourself, then for most people the answer as what to do next is to get a job to earn money so you can pay for an apartment, utilities, food, health insurance, car, gas, car repair bills, and in a short time - paying back your student loans. Make a spreadsheet to see what all this adds up to and then have a buffer to to take care of miscellaneous and unexpected expenses. Then, consider what kind of income level you’d need to be able to support yourself. After that you can see what kinds of jobs are available to provide that level of income. </p>

<p>Sometimes figuring out the reality outlined above is enough to give one motivation to apply oneself in college to get better positioned. Sometimes it means examining the areas they’re studying and possibly changing majors to something with a more immediate and practical benefit or at least something the person finds more interesting. </p>

<p>If you’re really not applying yourself and don’t plan to you’re probably just wasting time and money and should consider the above. Maybe after toiling for a year or 3 you’ll want to go back to college reinvigorated or maybe you’ll have gotten involved in something lucrative along the way.</p>

<p>agreeing with kelsmom. i think u need to make an appointment to see a psychologist. go talk to one --they’re there to help.</p>

<p>Looking at your other posts, you’ve been quite down on yourself and your life for some time now. I think you need to deal with a much bigger issue than whether to go to college or not. You sound quite significantly depressed and its impacting all aspects of your life. Until you treat the underlying depression with professional help- which was there before college - you really can’t be objective about very much nor make great alternative plans. College is not for everyone, and maybe not for you-- but then what IS for you? I think under the cloud of depression you probably can not answer that yet.</p>

<p>Don’t be fooled by name, I’m not chronically out on a mission to put myself down all the time.</p>

<p>I don’t really believe the depression hype. “You need to go get professional help” or “we need to put you on some anti depressants/psychotics”. If I really wanted that I would just start smoking marijuana. That and I think most of my anxiety is caused from feeling like I am required to go to college to be happy.</p>

<p>And I do not know what is for me, all I know is I want an easy going life where I’m not chasing money every step of the way.</p>

<p>What it comes down to is I want to stop living by other peoples’ expectations and make it on my own. I’ve pretty much made up my mind that I don’t like college for enjoyment or pleasure, the only reason that might be keeping me is for practical reasons like higher pay and standard of living. But I think subconsciously I don’t really care if I am making 20k$ or 120k$ a year, but if I am headed in a direction I want to be going then that’s all that matters. Is it wrong to feel like that? I would not mind living like this guy. [Vitality</a> - Yahoo! News](<a href=“http://vitality.yahoo.com/video-second-act-jay-shafer-20910192]Vitality”>http://vitality.yahoo.com/video-second-act-jay-shafer-20910192)</p>

<p>Whether you “believe” the depression “hype” or not, depression is real. I’ve recently gone through a bout of depression (my thoughts sounded very similar to yours), and the cause turned out to be organic -a thyroid problem. So, you don’t know until you check things out - it’s not all SSRIs. And I can’t say enough great things about going to a counselor- I have made tremendous changes in my life with the help of my counselor and am much more successful in my life because what I learned about myself through working with him.</p>

<p>It also sounds like you are in crisis right now- while it is common for teenagers to be exploring options and learning about what who they are, you have put that off and now it is coming to a head. You will be better off doing something like counseling than doing something drastic like dropping out of school. After working with a counselor, you may still want to drop out but at least you will have thought it through and not be acting impulsively.</p>

<p>Your college Health Services should be able to direct you to some help.</p>

<p>Among the choices you have before you, the worst one is to continue paying/borrowing money for something you don’t want and aren’t getting. Get out now before you do damage (or more damage) to your future. A gap year or 7 can be explained. A 0.7 GPA from not going to class? Not so much.</p>

<p>I am not sure about fear part regretting that you are not finished. You always can go back to college. At any age. I was done with all various degrees (and free education, paid by many employers) at about 40. I was going to school because I enjoyed it a lot. If I did not, I would have never done it, not worth it. However, I have beeen working full time n professional filed since I was 19. </p>

<p>The hard part is to find a job, any job in current economic situation. It is close to impossible. I mean absolutely any dirty job, fast food, retail, anything at all. Not only economy is bad but also retirees are going back to work in greater numbers.</p>

<p>One could make the argument that if you don’t know what to do, college might be just the place for you right now. It will allow you to meet different people, explore different viewpoints, try different classes, try different clubs in a supportive environment. If you quit…what would you do? Go home and live with the parents? Get a low wage job?</p>

<p>bopper, I might agree with you except for the way the OP described their college experience thus far. Two terms ending by completely withdrawing, substantial loan debt, and no motivation to even wake up and attend classes.</p>

<p>"Get a low wage job? "</p>

<p>-As I have mentioned, close to impossible at least in our city and surrounding area. That would be my greatest concern.
However, going to college and getting extremely low GPA will hunt you forever. You cannot erase that, it will stay on you record and questioned by everybody, potential employers, future colleges…etc.</p>

<p>While you are still in school you can avail yourself of the schools counseling services, not only to address your ambivalence about school, but also to get some career counseling. Hopefully they offer career testing so you can identify your areas of interest.</p>

<p>I also agree that decreased motivation, loss of interest, and general dysphoria can be signs not only of adjustment issues,. but also of dysthymia or depressio. You owe it to yourself to look into it as it can overshadow all your decisions. Good luck!</p>

<p>Withdraw. Sounds as though you’re basically taking up a seat and not engaged in any aspect of college. You’re wasting your time and money with your current attitude. </p>

<p>Do you plan on moving back into your parent’s home? If so, pay them rent. Get a job (any job). Get your own apartment. Pay your bills. Grow up.</p>

<p>Stop whining about everything. If you don’t like the path you’re on now (college) then do something about it. Take control of your life rather than blame others for the position you’re in right now. Make your own decisions. Take responsibility for the consequences of your decisions.</p>

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<p>Actually, I think that you should drop out. You don’t have a good attitude, you are getting deeper and deeper into debt, and it probably IS a complete waste of time and money. Many people have dropped out, figured out they want to do and had a great life. Don’t look back. </p>

<p>Some people find the easy going life without chasing money, without going to college, etc. People just throw money at them because they are such good company - I’m dating myself, but I’m thinking of OJ Simpson’s housemate Kato. You either need to find a way for someone to pay you for what you’d want to do anyway, or find a low paying job that gives you the freedom to do things that you love, provided they don’t cost a lot. Maybe become a sailing instructor, or a ski instructor, or a tennis instructor, or a surfing instructor. Maybe you should befriend someone rich who will support your lifestyle. Sounds like a plan.</p>

<p>Why should we convince you not to drop out? You don’t want to be there, you are not going to classes, you are not gaining anything from being there other thatn debt that you have no way to pay back…</p>

<p>Drop out, get a job that will allow you to pay back your loans, and figure out what you want to do before investing any more money in it.</p>

<p>Stay in college! You are correct that colle is not right for everyone, but it is right for YOU! Not everybody can put a noun and verb together as well as you can. Also, you are quite adept at expressing your “feelings” on the written page. Speaking of your “feelings,” when you wrote, “I think I will either end up in the hospital or walking around as a soulless body if I do” I was not sold. Stop your crying and get your butt back in class. You can work out all your issues as a college graduate as well as you can as a college drop out. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Take a look out the window – can you see that economy? Imagine trying to keep yur head above water out there. You have a brain - train it, use it . . . maybe get it checked out by a profesional.</p>