<p>weird topic, I know. here is the deal: I really don't think I have a great shot at RD and my parents will not let me apply ED. I absolutely know NYU is the place for me, and they understand how I feel. however, they think it is too big and I would get lost at NYU, and they're worried I would end up unhappy, blah blah blah. we visited recently and that didn't change their mind either... (they didn't really like the program). everyone seems to have a horror story of a kid that hated NYU and dropped out, and my parents are affected by this too. any suggestions on how I can show them how great of a place NYU is?</p>
<p>trust me, I've really tried everything, which is why I'm resorting to other peoples' input.</p>
<p>I'm sure you've tried this approach and I'm equally sure it probably failed miserably due to my own personal experience, but... it doesn't matter at all what they think about the school because YOU'RE the one who's actually going there. After all, everything they seem to be worried about is whether you'll end up hating NYU, but since you obviously love it now, it seems way less likely you'll somehow fall in love with another school. Plus, who is this 'everyone'? I've only ever known one kid who dropped out of NYU, and she just hated school in general. Some people transfer out, but based on my experience, even more transfer in.</p>
<p>Do you have any savings? Perhaps you can just apply without them knowing? Or you could take the tack of saying, "hey, it's only this small amount of money, and if I get in, at least I have more options! Then we can talk about whether it's the one I'm best suited for." If money isn't a huge problem, or you get about the same from NYU as you do at other schools, then it's pretty easy for you to make a case by just badmouthing all of your other choices and generally convincing your parents that you'd be miserable everywhere else.</p>
<p>I've argued that it's me that's attending college and not them, and they retort by reminding me that they're paying for it. also they will let me apply rd, but not ed, and a signature is required for ed which I probably wouldn't want to forge. truthfully, I would be happy at other schools, but not as happy. thanks for advice, I think I have to see how this plays out.</p>
<p>Apply RD. Unless your SAT scores are 1500/2400 and your GPA is 3.2. Sometimes, it's hard to predict who gets in and who doesn't.</p>
<p>As for applying ED, BAD IDEA. If you get in, you're bound to go. You can't wiggle out of it. Are you really going to tell the school, "Sorry, I forged my parents' signature on the application and they won't let me go"? Are you going to tell your parents that you forged their signature? There are lots of repercussions if you get in ED without your parents' knowledge or consent, and most of them sound pretty bad to me.</p>
<p>I don't have much advice, but do not let them even make a case with those horror stories.
My parents forced me to commute (from Long Island, I have a glorious 1 hour commute every day) and everytime we got into an argument, they would bring up the same 3 relatives of mine who commuted to the city, and the same 2 relatives who dormed and had horrible roomates. What they forgot to EVER bring up, was the 15 relatives that I have who are around my age who have dormed or are dorming and are successful and having an amazing time.<br>
Parents like to manipulate evidence, don't listen to it.</p>
<p>I completely disagree with Youkosiren. I am now a freshman at NYU. I had discussed the option of applying ED at different schools with my parents. We decided that ED was not an option for us. We wanted the flexibility of reviewing financial aid packages from multiple schools. In fact NYU did increase my aid package upon appeal, when I showed them the fin aid awards I received at Carnegie-Mellon, WashU and Emory University.</p>
<p>I do not think you should be so sneaky about going behind your parents' back. I know I cannot afford NYU without major assistance from my parents. Also for 99% of us we cannot be declared independent of our parents. I sincerely doubt you can raise enough loans and such on your own to afford NYU without your parents' support and co-signing.</p>
<p>If you apply RD and it doesn't work for you, just move on to your next school. I dare say most of us could have been very happy at our other choices. I would be just as happy at Carnegie-Mellon, WashU or Emory if they had been my destination.</p>
<p>I certainly know more about NYU now in October than I did last April. Being here 24/7 and actually living here and taking classes is much different than a short visit. </p>
<p>I'm sure it will work out for you no matter where you go. I hope you do apply to NYU and I hope you get in. Good Luck,.</p>
<p>newyorkhopeful: parents are (usually) not stupid, and often know their kids better than the kids would like to acknowledge. You write:</p>
<p>
[quote]
I absolutely know NYU is the place for me, and they understand how I feel. however, they think it is too big and I would get lost at NYU, and they're worried I would end up unhappy, blah blah blah.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>First, rather than continue to insist that "NYU is the place for you", explain why you feel that way. If you find yourself waxing poetic about the opportunities NYC offers as the sole reason for applying ED, your parents are probably right to ask you to apply RD. You might was well apply to Fordham or CCUNY under those circumstances. Hopefully your arguments revolve around specifics at the school and program you are planning on pursuing. </p>
<p>Second, try to address their concerns that "NYU is too big and I would get lost". If you come from a 1-stop town, they may be right. If you come from a reasonably large city (pop>500k) and a school with a graduating class of 800 you can probably provide enough evidence to the contrary. Did you largely select your own classes and electives? Did you have to argue with the administration to change your schedule to accommodate a preferred teacher? Did a teacher screw up your grades due to a procedural error and you straightened out the situation yourself? Did you find your own job downtown and commute 3x per week? Have you managed to stay away from drugs and undesirable influences in HS? Did you stand out in some way from a class of 800?</p>
<p>A technique that my own father used on me (too) many years ago was to reduce meandering arguments to writing on a piece of paper. One side makes a statement, the other side responds in written form, and so on. The discussion usually converges pretty quickly if both sides approach it in good faith. </p>
<p>Of course, you have to be prepared for two possibilities: (a) you are wrong and (b) your parents are stubborn. In the second case you really have little choice but to comply with their wishes, unless you are prepared to finance your education on your own. $200k is a pretty big commitment by parents to their kid for 99.9% of parents out ther, and the kid usually owes them a healthy degree of consideration in exchange. Given that your parents are not opposed to a RD application, they do not sound like unreasonable folk, try to see things from their point of view and address their concerns.</p>
<p>You parents may want you to keep your options open. </p>
<p>They don't want you to be stuck with one decision that you may not like after further consideration of other schools. Have you REALLY taken a look at other schools and know for SURE that NYU is for you? </p>
<p>As much as I admire your youthful spirit, your parents may see your impetuousness and want to protect you from making a possibly bad choice. Just consider the other side of the coin. I'm older now and realize my parents wanted the best for me and while they were not ALWAYS right, they were MOSTLY RIGHT.</p>
<p>Apply RD and DO NOT DO ANYTHING UNDERHANDED YOU MAY REGRET. The last thing you want is to lose the trust of your parents who are PAYING for your education.</p>
<p>Whatever will be will be, so if NYU is for you it IS FOR YOU.</p>
<p>thanks for the thoughts. and it's not about options - they're now forcibly suggesting I apply ED to another school. with time my feelings have passed, if I end up at NYU that will be great and if I don't, I'll live.</p>
<p>If you don't like the school they're making you do ED for, then sabotage your application. Something like "My parents made me apply here, please reject me" should do, and they'll be happy to oblige.</p>
<p>Shootein, John</p>
<p>I may be forced to commute also, however if there is any suggestion, perhaps maybe you could uuggh, rent the basement of your parents house if they extra space or something and like have your own "apartment", movie theater, mini-cafe, make it interesting.</p>
<p>Dorms can be a hit or miss too, maybe if u make ur house a bit better for yourself, then missing the dorm may not be all that miserable. Of course, I don't your living situation.</p>
<p>Shootein, John</p>
<p>I may be forced to commute also, however if there is any suggestion, perhaps maybe you could uuggh, rent the basement of your parents house if they extra space or something and like have your own "apartment", movie theater, mini-cafe, make it interesting.</p>
<p>Dorms can be a hit or miss too, maybe if u make ur house a bit better for yourself, then missing the dorm may not be all that miserable. Of course, I don't your living situation.</p>
<p>OK if your parents are doing that, that is something I do not agree with. Explain to them if you go to a school you don't like, they will not be putting you in a position for you to do your very best.</p>
<p>Are you 18 years old yet? If you are I suggest you respect your parents, but go the way which you desire... and tell them your not going anywhere but NYU. If you have to eat the cost of NYU by yourself then that is what you will have to do... but please know that you may not be able to foot the bill all alone without financial help. I think they have made it pretty clear that they are not paying for NYU, but make sure they are open to the possibility.</p>
<p>In this light where they are forcing your hand, I would tell them RIGHT NOW what you intend to do before the passing of the ED deadline... don't be underhanded, but let them know that you are applying to NYU and need their support, and if they force you to go to a school you do not wish to go to, then they are putting your educational and your happiness to the side for theirs. It is selfish of them not to consider your feelings... HOWEVER BE RESPECTFUL, AND DO NOT LET UP!!! I guarantee they will EVENTUALLY see your way.</p>
<p>eh, it's kind of too late now. it would be impossible for me to pay for NYU, unfortunately. we've argued lots but it's 2 vs. 1, and they always have the last say. thanks for your thoughts everyone.</p>