<p>I have a dilemma... I'm a senior now and my college plans have changed ALOT! It seems like every month, I discover new options to pursue (not career options, just college and stuff like that options). So, I'll seem sure that's what I wanna do until the next month, unfortunately, and I hate that I do this, but i'll realize a new, "improved" way of doing something and change to that. Well, about a month ago, going into the Navy seemed like a good idea and I told my parents about it. They totally supported me, and my dad was ALL for it! Everything was fine and dandy. Then, I went and visited my sister and brother-in-law, and they brought up some fantastic arguments against it and I became convinced that, for my future, the military really didn't really go along with it other than to pay for college.</p>
<p>But now that I've moved on from that, my parents are still stuck on it!! They won't stop talking about it and even though i have made them quite aware that the military is out, they keep acting and talking as if I will be enlisting, and doing ROTC, etc... ITs driving me absolutely crAZEE!! I'm kinda scared that they think they are going to push me into it even though they KNOW i don't want to anymore. I've tried everything!! Anyone have any ideas to avoid them possibly forcing me?? And yes, I've tried the whole talking to them thing. They aren't getting it! They are so set on me going in the military now! Please help! Any advice is GREATLY appreciated! THANKS Y'ALL!!!!</p>
<p>I would tell them that ultimately, you’re the one who has to go through basic combat training and advanced training and then face deployment. You’re the one who’s gonna be getting shot at (yes, even non-combat servicemen can come under fire). You’re the one who’s gonna be risking her ass to make sure her fellow men and women in uniform all come back. If neither of them has served then you should make a point that it’s much easier for them to push you into the military without knowing what it can be like. </p>
<p>Mind telling us what your parents’ reasons for you going into the military are? And what your sister’s arguments against it were?</p>
<p>Why don’t you join the Air Force? My dad got plenty of money for college, got to see the world, never got shot and was deployed to plenty of wars with a safe distance away from combat. While other people were invading homes in Baghdad and whatnot, my dad was drinking beer with officers on the beach and fixing ground equipment for airplanes. </p>
<p>My best friend did Air Force ROTC and actually ended up getting paid to go to college. Although, his dream job was to be an Air Force pilot and he is one now. </p>
<p>Honestly, though. What are your options for paying your way? I contemplated joining Army ROTC but it is too late for me as an entering junior. I’ve got a lot of loans to take out for college, even with a tuition fee-waiver. My parents pushed me to enlist all through community college and I told them I’d consider becoming an officer later on if I wanted to. Now they’re more receptive of me simply just working as a mathematician for the Air Force as a civilian.</p>
<p>Trust me, though. There are plenty of military careers you can get into without seeing combat. I’d say do it if you’re willing to commit 3-4 years of your life to it after graduation but if not you should have some idea of how you’re going to pay the bills.</p>
<p>Military is not bad depending on the job and it’s only for a couple years. Some countries even have mandatory military service. </p>
<p>If you pick a non-combat mos (like a cook or supply) you are not going to see anything cool or get shot at. If you are deployed will will stay on base in the air conditioning and will be there for support. </p>
<p>You can join ROTC and play military while in college. You aren’t actually in the military so you can quit if you don’t like.</p>
<p>Tell them “You first”? They can’t force you to join the military, although I guess you could make sure to spectacularly fail in basic. Seems like a few ppl I met that signed up for ROTC didn’t make it and just continued as college students. Or just keep saying no until it sinks in. </p>
<p>I think though you should really not rely on what a couple people tell you either for or against and do some research. Find out about specific career paths and if you’re qualified, and if enlistment will actually help pay for college more so than the typical route of career > pay off loans.</p>
<p>If you really don’t want to join, there are lots of ways to disqualify yourself. The military is extremely selective right now and has more volunteers than what it knows to do with.</p>
<p>I agree about the Air Force though. My dad was in for thirty years, saw the world, had college paid for, law school paid for, now has Health Insurance for the rest of his life, and a load of other retiremenet benefits (including a great pension). He never even was once deployed. (Joined during Vietnam, got out in '04)</p>
<p>Also. ROTC might be a good route. If you do ROTC your freshman year and decide you don’t like it, there’s no commitment. So, in essence, you can get your first year paid for and then decide you don’t like it, drop it and just go on about your life. And if you do end up liking it, then hey! That’s a bonus.</p>
<p>
This is sort of true and sort of not. If you do ROTC as a junior or senior, you have made a commitment to be in the military for a number of years after graduation. If you’re on scholarship as a sophomore, you’ve also made a commitment to serve for a number of years after graduation.</p>
<p>Don’t join the military just as a way to pay for college later.</p>
<p>Have you tried having your sister talk to them about how you feel?</p>
<p>I would try to be as serious as possible to them when trying to explain. Even as far as possibly having what I want to say all written out already so it shows I took the time to think about it and I would read that to them or have them read it.</p>
<p>If they don’t stop, then eventually they have to realize that they can’t force you to sign and the more you get serious about college plans, the more serious they will have to start thinking about what you’re doing with your life.</p>
<p>I don’t know why these people are telling you to still go into air force or telling you it’s “not that bad”.
If I read the post correctly, you have made the life decision that you will NOT be joining the military or ROTC. </p>
<p>I think as time passes on, you just have to stick to your decision, even through Your parents’ incessive nagging. You may not be able to stop them from acting like you’re going into the military, but really the simpliest solution is to not give in and just apply for the colleges you want. It’s so cliche, but it is YOUR life. Your parents do not have the right to make such a drastic decision for your future. If they can’t help you go to the college you want, get student loans and apply for financial aid and scholarships.
I hope this helps. Remember, all things must pass. You’re parents will get over the fact that you’re not going into the military.</p>
<p>I joined in 2006. I wouldn’t suggest trying to fail basic and I’ll tell you why from first hand experience.</p>
<p>I don’t know how it is now but a couple years ago you couldn’t fail out of basic. If you became suicidal they would take you out away from everyone and kept you there until you were ready to continue. </p>
<p>I was in charge of this one guy during in processing station. The group of guys I was watching were already at basic so there was no turning back and they were at the part where they get their roster number/medical/dental and everything and were about to go to their respective units where their drill sargents took over. This guy was all about the military and saying ******** like “all my uncles and dad are all full bird colonels” and all that and the day before we were about to turn them over he comes up says that he’s got a bunch of medical disorders and he was bi-polar and all this stuff so he didn’t want to go through basic. But guess what he still went.</p>
<p>I actually say him again about a month after that hating life. I think he was in the middle of doing a platoon run so he was still okay.</p>
<p>When I went through there was guys who had to get recycled for injuries which meant that they had to go home and come back when they were healthy again and redo basic again because they didn’t finish.</p>
<p>Yeah, planning on failing basic is a BAD, BAD, BAD idea. Besides the various after effects of trying to explain to future employers, etc, failing basic generally takes longer than just completing it. Did I mention it is a BAD idea?</p>
<p>If you don’t want to join the military, there is a pretty simple way to do that. Don’t join the military. You are the one who has to “sign on the dotted line” in order to join.</p>
<p>Basically, the reason this is such an issue is my parents are like the most committed parents ever to DEBT FREE EDUCATION!! Like if there was a convention for it, they would be like the presidents of it. They’re Dave Ramseys biggest fans. But, seriously, im not jokking… They don’t believe any education is worth the debt basically. So, when I thought of the military and they realized they pay for college, there was no convincing them of anything else. My sister says that if i don’t really wanna be enlisted if only to pay for college. She claims there are enough scholarships i qualify for, why would i put myself through the military and i believed her.
Y’all say my parents aren’t able to force me to go into the military, but that’s their talent. They are like the most controlling and pushy parents ever! (not really… but close) To put it in perspective, the reasons that college is on my mind so much pretty much all being with “cause my parents…” etc. They have a talent for pushing me into things…</p>
<p>I would never go into basic and intentionally FAIL it! That’s silly honestly. If you’re gonna do something, do your best. Otherwise, it’s a waste of ur time, regardless of whether u WANT to, or not… </p>
<p>Basically, I’m just looking for how to deal with them. Like if anyone has experiences of pushy people who just won’t listen to ur side of things…? Thanks y’all!</p>
<p>The nagging is because they care about you and are concerned about you having a successful future (one not burdened by debt), but if you’ve enough restraint not to give into them, then go about your business and apply to colleges. If they care about your happiness they will realize what you want and should support that as time comes to pass.</p>
<p>If it seems impossible to focus on college applications because of their wishful thinking that you’ll eventually turn and enlist, then threaten them with moving out to live with another relative, if you have reasonable relatives close by.</p>
<p>In the end, what parents like yours need is a dramatic approach to realize what they’re doing to you or saying to you isn’t helping you do what you want to do. It may upset them, or even break their heart, initially, but in time they will see the direction you’re taking for yourself and the happiness it brings you and will be happy as well.</p>
<p>The only other suggestion I can give is to investigate school finances more to come up with some good arguments/points that will show them the other side of the coin - that it may be possible for you to attend college with little or no debt due to the financial resources provided to students out there (i.e. merit scholarships, need-based aid awards, work study, part-time work, etc).</p>
<p>
The only caveat I’ll give to this is that you will definitely need to look into this if she means merit-based awards/scholarships. You will need to meet certain academic thresholds to qualify for those, and some may not be renewable for all the years that you attend college. You can also find out if you qualify for need-based awards if you come from a very low-income family.</p>
<p>Are you a perfectly healthy person? Getting into the military isn’t as easy as you would think, and certain conditions, past surgeries, etc, can all be automatic disqualifiers, so it’s not a sure deal to begin with, just like getting accepted to a certain college isn’t always guaranteed. If you aren’t completely against the whole idea of being in the military, you could keep it as an option, but also apply to colleges in the meantime.</p>
<p>I probably can’t qualify then because i’ve had two surgeries. When I wanted to join the Marines when I was 18, they were a little iffy about letting me join after I told them I had surgery, and explained the surgery to them. Then they told me I need 15 college credits.</p>
DoD, the people at MEPS, and even your recruiter only know what you tell them. Trust me when I say, they don’t have the resources, financially or otherwise, to actually find out what has been going on in your life medically or even drug abuse wise.</p>
<p>The first thing a recruiter told me when I sat down for ‘the talk’ before going to MEPS (Military Enlistment Processing Station - where you go through the whole medical screening, take your ASVAB, and that whole jazz) was, “Whatever they ask you, the answer is ‘No’, understand? Have you ever done drugs? No. Even if you’ve just tried weed once. Have you ever had a surgery? I don’t care if you’ve had a double bypass, the answer is no.”</p>
<p>Honestly, when you’re 17-18 years old, and you answer no to every question like it, they typically don’t even blink. Yes, there’s a BI, but that doesn’t encompass medical history, only family and financial (i.e. do you have insurmountable debt which may be a reflection of bad character or do you or a close relative hold dual citizenship or other national citizenship, which may show a conflict of allegiances). By 17, I had broken 3 bones in my hand, had a concussion, and had leg surgery when I was like 1 year old (long story about something cutting into my leg and almost bleeding out because it wasn’t found out till overnight, which interestingly to this day has left about 1/4-1/2" scars running across both of my calf - and btw, then you’re going through the medical exam, you strip naked and have a one-on-one with a medical doctor there. He didn’t ask a single question about my scars). I had never done drugs, so at least I didn’t have to lie about that. I was in and out of MEPS (along with the 1000+ others that same day) like it was a (albeit, all day) piece of cake. In fact, I remember that my blood pressure was really high when they first took it (a possible DQ), but they were like, “Uh, go ahead and do your physical exam, and then come back and we’ll try again.” I came back a second time and they said it was still a little high, so they had me wait about 10 more minutes before doing it a third time. By that point I wasn’t sure if my BP had actually gone down or if the guy just passed me because he was tired of me coming back. For some reason I feel the latter.</p>
<p>Long story short, seriously, if they want you over whomever else, for whatever reason, and you tell your recruiter that you’ve done x amount of drugs and have x health problems, they will most likely coach you on skimping about those details when it comes times to swear an Oath of Enlistment. You really think 99% of 17 y/o athletically active males haven’t broken at least 1 bone in that lifetime thus far? I don’t, but I’ll bet you that’s what the paperwork at MEPS would tell you. Unless you’ve got something completely serious, or obvious, and you’re nice and young, they won’t be turning you away. True story.</p>
<p>Alright y’all! I’m completely healthy and have 20/20 and i just have the whole nine yards going for me! I’m not even against the idea of combat! Here’s the deal though… i don’t WANNA go in the military! That’s not what I wanna do with my life… I just don’t. It’s not a question of “do i qualify?” or “how do i avoid combat?” Everything y’all said is GREAT advice! If… I was going in the military. I’m sorry for not bein clear. I would like to know how to AVOID the military… and my parents pushing me in that direction. Y’all say no one can force me, but they aren’t helping me pay for college at ALL! The only thing I have going for me from them is possibly car insurance. Sooo… that being said, from their point of view, it’s I go in the military or i go to the community college (and live at home which is as much out of the question as i could possibly make it! lol). If the AF, Navy, Army… whatever… pays for it, they want me there. No debt for me by their rules! But they aren’t helping anyways… So, please how do I avoid the above issues?? Thanks again! This really is fantastic advice!</p>
<p>Oddly enough, it still works out the same way as before. You cannot be forced to join the military and you have even less of a reason to obey their wish since they aren’t contributing to your education.</p>
Thanks again! This really is fantastic advice!</p>