parents unwilling to pay...

Paying for College
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<p>My parents and i have just recently begun discussing college options as well as paying for tuition. </p>

<p>they have always wanted to attend my dream school but after finding out their income most likely would not qualify us for any type of aid at all they want me (and my older brother) to consider some local, and/or public colleges that they consider just s good as the 50k a year privates. </p>

<p>i began my search for colleges to potentially apply to and Princeton really appealed to me, but i don't think my parents will agree to pay for it even though they make a 35k/monthly.
they say that after taxes and other expenses our lifestyle would have to change significantly in order to afford a school like Princeton. </p>

<p>SO, i need help convincing my parents to potentially pay for me to attend a school that is, like Princeton, quite expensive, or any school that i choose to attend. also if you guys have any suggestions on making college more affordable for people who won't qualify for aid that would really be helpful too.</p>

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<p>I’m hearing from a lot of pretty well off people lately that they don’t want to pay for $50K colleges, so you’re not alone. Lots of people feel financially insecure right now, their retirement savings have lost hefty percentages, their home values are down and they are worried about the future.</p>

<p>Depending on your parents’ situation, they may or may not have the money to make this happen. If you show you are willing to make big sacrifices it may help. What can you cut down on between now and college? How much can you make and save now and throughout college? Are you willing to pay them back some of the money after you graduate?</p>

<p>If they see your willingness to sacrifice, maybe they’ll see what they can sacrifice.</p>

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<p>What about making college more affordable for less well off people who do qualify for aid?</p>

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<p>Welcome to the real world. You don’t always get what you want. You don’t have to go to Princeton to be a success. I noticed you didn’t mention anything about Merit Financial Aid. Aid that is based upon your abilities, not your need.</p>

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<p>Assuming your facts are true, two reasons I can think of why they don’t pay are:</p>

<p>1) You are a spoiled kid, and they think you need to learn a lesson; or
2) They are spoiled, and aren’t willing to help out their kids.</p>

<p>Most families can’t afford to send their kids to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, etc, but if the opportunity presented itself, they would do what they could to help out (not saying they would succeed, but they would try). Anyone, and I mean Anyone, who makes $35k/mo ($420k/yr) can figure out how to find $50k/yr to send their kid to college, if they want to. I must admit though, a few years ago, I read a funny article in the WSJ about how it was tough to live on $2 million/yr in Manhattan.</p>

<p>If you really “need” to go to Princeton, then you should be able to make a case why. If you merely “want” to go to Princeton, then good luck. You may need to show your parents why it is in THEIR best interest for you to go to Princeton. Most parents what to give their kids the best chance to succeed, and that is reason enough for them to TRY (not necessarily succeed).</p>

<p>You may have to go to an in-state public university. You may even need to make a case to your parents to get them to pay for that. A lot of States have a flagship University that provides a great education.</p>

<p>I apologize if I am a little rough in my response. If your facts were the same, but were trying to get them to pay for an in-state public university, then I would have a lot more sympathy for you. Be thankful for all that you have had up to this point - warm bed, nice clothes, 3 meals a day, good education, vacations, etc. That is much more than most kids have.</p>

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<p>If you’ve got the stats, apply to Princeton, and HYS as well. Get admitted to any of these and its a whole ‘nother ball game with your parents. They will not be able to resist telling their friends about your acceptance, and once they’ve done that they can hardly then say, "Oh, but it was too expensive so he is going to good ol’ State U." </p>

<p>Trust me, in the highly unlikely event you are admitted to Princeton, you WILL be attending.</p>

<p>If you have the stats to make Princeton a possibility, you will likely be offered a merit scholarship at a less illustrious private university.</p>

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<p>Princeton has a new aid policy where you pay roughly 10% of your family income, like Yale’s and Harvard’s. You could look into exactly what you will be paying, then decide whether or not you want to spend the money. $200,000 over the course of 4 years is a ton of money, so I don’t blame you for not necessarily wanting to spend that. 432k a year for college seems like it would make it possible to go about anywhere though.</p>

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<p>This policy does not apply to folks making over $400K per year. And even if it did…the OP said the parents make $420K per year and 10% of that is $42K per year…not all that far off from the $50K they said they won’t pay.</p>

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<p>JWMuller, i do consider myself someone who has the “stats” to apply to a school like Princeton, as well as the drive. i’m hoping that if accepted, my parents will change their minds and at least pay most of the expenses (although the current state of the economy isn’t helping), and i would try to support myself as much as possible. hopefully i can get some merit scholarships to help out as well.</p>

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<p>My D’s friend has parents who make about what your parents make, quintessential. She applied to a couple state schools & some expensive elite schools. When she was accepted to Vandy, Duke, and UVa (out of state), she was pretty sure her parents would pay … but they would not. She ended up at a state school that is good (not our flagship - but #2) with a huge scholarship. She has made the best of her situation, getting top grades & assisting profs with research. She will finish in 2 years due to AP credits, and she will be attending vet school. She has no debt & her parents are willing to assist with vet school (not pay it all, but every little bit helps).</p>

<p>The point is, they were well off but for whatever reason chose not to pay the big bucks. The young woman is getting a fine education, she will be attending vet school (her “lowly” school didn’t keep her from achieving her goal), and she has no undergrad debt … the cherry on the sundae is that her parents are willing to help out with vet school. She survived her disappointment, and so will you if it does come to that.</p>

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<p>Many students enroll at their state schools instead of other options and for reasons other that finances. Personally, I don’t like the phrase “ended up at____school” because it sounds like it was an awful choice. I know that’s not what Kelsmom meant…but it really troubles me when I read this. Sadly, this IS the perception of many students who apply to their state schools and privates…it’s “ending up” at the state school…and I personally think that is the wrong perception as many of the state schools are terrific, and as Kelsmom pointed out, the student is getting a FINE education.</p>

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<p>Thumper1 is correct in guessing that I didn’t mean it that way. However, it was how she FELT about it. I won’t pretend that she was not very, very disappointed. That is absolutely how some students feel when they realize that they can’t have their dream. I won’t trivialize that feeling … I remember wishing with all my might that I could go to Notre Dame or Harvard so many years ago, so I understand all too well. The great news, though, is that the “good” state school - heck, even the not-so-good state school - can be a perfectly fine school. Honest.</p>

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You heard it here first. If your Mother should have but one sip from [this</a> cup’s](<a href=“http://www.pustore.com/princeton/product.aspx?dept=3105&pf_id=PAAAAAOLGIACDGFH&path=3105-3104-3014-10]this”>http://www.pustore.com/princeton/product.aspx?dept=3105&pf_id=PAAAAAOLGIACDGFH&path=3105-3104-3014-10) intoxicating elixir, she’ll head to her checkbook as if in a trance.</p>

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<p>I totally get your situation. I’m in a situation pretty much the same as yours. Had big school dreams (ok,not Princeton, but UNC-Chapel Hill, Georgetown, maybe even Dartmouth), but they flat out say they’d never pay for anything that wasn’t my state U. And…that’s what I basically did. I did apply to 2 other schools where I knew I would get good scholarships (Pittsburgh U and Troy U), but other than that there’s not many choices. I know people would see us as spoiled just because we want the chance to go to a school that is well-suited for us, but I don’t think that’s true at all. I guess this is just more of a “I know how you feel” post, than an advice post because I obviously found no solution. </p>

<p>Good luck with your parents and send me a PM if you figure out a solution.</p>

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<p>$50K after tax is probably $75K pretax. Your parents have said that they don’t want to change their lifestyle significantly by taking on this burden. I’m sorry that they didn’t put some college money away for their kids, but then they aren’t the only parents who either wouldn’t or couldn’t set up college savings funds.</p>

<p>A number of parents feel that college costs have gotten out of hand and don’t find good value for the money in expensive private colleges. This financial crisis that we are going through has made many people question spending so much money on such luxury goods.</p>

<p>I’d say go to the best college that your parents will pay for. Graduating with no debt will be a tremendous blessing–one you may not be able to appreciate now.</p>

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<p>Now, if they lived in a state with a great state university, they might have a case.</p>