<p>I recently discovered that my parents expect me to pay for college. This isn't an issue; I completely understand that as an adult, I should be able to finance my own education. However, they equate elite colleges with unlimited cash, expecting me to take out in loans however much money Prestigious University X demands, as long as University X is well-known. I've tried explaining that I will have to repay these loans, but they keep saying that "the degree will pay for itself" and "everyone pays that way". I've talked to them about schools that are likely to offer me merit aid, but they accuse me of selling myself short, and I'm scared that they will be disappointed in me if I decide to go these colleges. I have showed them countless videos, articles, and documentaries, but they still won't budge. On top of that, our estimated EFC is probably going to be high, so if I end up taking out loans, it will be $30,000+ without calculating interest. Working throughout college will be a necessity, but I doubt it will help significantly. I am losing sleep over this and don't know what to do. HELP!!!</p>
<p>Does any ‘Prestigious University’ or ‘elite college’ accepted you yet?</p>
<p>Well, no, but they expect the majority of my list to be reach-heavy. I know, I know, I shouldn’t count my eggs before they hatch, but I don’t want to delay this until decision time next year.</p>
<p>Well, it sounds like you are the adult in the family. Some parents can not believe the changes in the process and cost since they were in school. Immigrant cultural differences also impact this. In my opinion, if your parents aren’t paying they forfeit veto rights. Unless they are planning on paying off the loans you need to make the right decision for you.</p>
<p>You can only borrow up to about $31,000 total for all four years, not $30,000 per year without a co-signer.</p>
<p>Most around here would not recommend going over that amount of student loan debt.</p>
<p>Take a look at the automatic and competitive full ride scholarships listed in the sticky threads at the top of this forum section, so that you can put affordable schools on your application list (the automatic ones for safeties, the competitive ones for reaches).</p>
<p>At least they are putting you in control of any loans taken out in your name.
Horror stories of parents taking loans in their children’s name without the kids knowing about it.
You educate yourself on your best financial options.
You’ll be fine.
Good luck.</p>
<p>
Apply both - the schools that you like and the schools that your parents like.</p>
<p>If they aren’t paying, they don’t get to tell you where to go to college, so apply to the places that make sense to you.</p>
<p>Yeah except telling them that is pretty rude and will turn out badly.</p>
<p>You don’t really need to lose sleep over the debt issue. You will only be able to borrow the Direct loans from the gov. in your own name. After that, you would need your parents to co-sign anyway, and then they will potentially be on the hook for paying those loans back if you aren’t able to for some reason. If they aren’t willing to cosign, you won’t get the money, so you won’t have the additional debt. Do your parents realize this?</p>
<p>I agree. If they aren’t paying they shouldn’t have the final say. Apply to some of the schools your parents would like but also apply to several that you know would be good financial fits for you. When the dust settles and all the offers are in, then decide. I think your parents will come around when they see the actual numbers. Remember, unless they are planning on taking out and paying off the loans, don’t take more than you want to comfortably pay back. I have a friend who is working for a collection agency and he works with several very highly rated schools with their graduates who have defaulted on their student loans. There is no guarantee that your life will be any better or your income any greater if you graduate from a more expensive school. Having fewer loans will open up a lot more choices for you when you graduate. You can select a job that you really will enjoy instead of the ones with the highest paycheck.</p>
<p>My D has a friend who is taking out loans for a very expensive school. She is working this summer at a non-profit with an unpaid internship. Her parents are cosigning on the loans. This friend just informed her mom that she really likes this type of work and doesn’t want to have to choose her career only based on the money. Mom said it is a little late for that -as she will probably have over $100,000 in loans when she graduates. This girl insisted all along in high school that she would only go to a top school and didn’t even apply to any school that was reasonably priced or where she had a good chance of a scholarship. Family didn’t qualify for one penny of need based aid. Not even work study. So here she is at her dream school- but at what price. They will be saddled with this debt for many years to come. Severely limiting her choice of careers or lifestyle</p>
<p>With my kids we emphasized the danger of over extending for school. We have seen too many people as adults unable to qualify for car loans or home loans because of massive student loan debt. </p>
<p>Perhaps your parents may be angry at first, but I think they will come around when they see the numbers on paper with what you have been offered. Stick to your guns. You sound very responsible.</p>
<p>Yeah, I’m confused. It sounds like your parents have to be educated about how student loans work. You’re not going to be able to cover an EFC of 30K with loans.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Student doesn’t have to say anything rude. Next spring, student just has to say “I’m going to college X because it offers what I need at a price I can afford.” (Assuming there is such a school - there may not be one with no parental money.)</p>
<p>Personally, I think parents with a high EFC saying they won’t pay a dime for college is far more “rude” than that.</p>
<p>You will be able to get $5500 in student loans in YOUR name for your first year in college. That is IT! So, tell your parents that you are including the local community college on your list (and will be living at home) because you NEED a school on your application list that you KNOW will be affordable to you without their financial help.</p>
<p>Just wanted to clarify that my parents’ EFC estimation is around $15,000 per year and the 30k was supposed to be an estimate of 4 year loans, so actually, the debt would be $60,000+</p>
<p>EFC is only part of the story. Schools have their own definitions of what your family will be expected to pay. You need to run some net price calculators to see better estimates.</p>
<p>First, relax, you have several months to prepare your parents before you commit to a school. </p>
<p>Apply to “your” schools and the reaches (to make your parents happy, and you may be able to make one of the reaches affordable via FA/grants). Work to keep a positive relationship with them, but start sharing horror stories on student debt, how it causes folks to delay starting a family, buying a first house…etc… Also start sharing positive stories about the schools you would like to attend (State U just invest $X in the Y department! State U #2 has a X% job placement rate!..)…start getting them use to the idea of going to “Great” affordable schools and to the idea that you’ve put a lot of thought into your choice. Don’t directly attack their dream of you going to a “expensive” university, start open them up to other great options. </p>
<p>Your parents are likely having a hard time making the switch from you being a minor that needs to be protected and guided to you being an adult (I know I am with my DD) that has to make life choices that will effect the rest of your life…, help them make that change. </p>
<p>At the end of the day, you will be able to go to the school of your choice, and you’ll have their support. As others have said, unless they are willing to co-sign loans, they will accept the financial realities.</p>
<p>OP, if you are indeed competitive for those low probability schools then look at the threads in this forum for automatic and competitive full scholarships, or the one with the calculator. There will be some options there.</p>
<p>It is really unfair that your parents want to saddle you with such a large amount of debt with no sacrifice on their part. Tell them you aren’t willing to start out life with such a burden. Tell them at best you will only borrow up to student loan ceilings. If they are so invested in PrestigeU, they can pay the difference. In most jobs you won’t get paid more than a student from the state university. You might have some edge in hiring, but that is not always true either.</p>
<p>Then apply to a selection of schools.</p>
<p>Perhaps someone from your high school (advisor?) could chat with your parents? The University you select will expect your family to meet the EFC and your award letter is likely to include a ParentPlus loan that they will be expected to accept unless they are disqualified for some reason (bankruptcy, foreclosure, etc.). Then you can get an additional $4,000 in unsubsidized loans.</p>