<p>So, Bard parents of sophomores, juniors and seniors: give us new parents the lowdown on parents weekend. The program looks totally boring, with the exception of Botstein who is always fabulous, and a couple of good concerts. Is there any place to take your kid to dinner that is worthwhile? And if you come up by train and cab, you are probably out of luck, right? And these classes that they have for people to go to, are they worthwhile? Sorry to be so negative; I still think wandering around Bard during the peak of fall foliage will be spectacular and so I plan to be there, but otherwise, I don’t get it. The friday events start so late, they seem skipable; the sunday events seem all sports all the time. Saturday seems the only thing that is worthwhile… Why don’t they get the premier people from the Levy Economics Institute to talk about the financial crisis, or someone from Al Quds, to talk about the Middle East, or an ex prisoner, talking about the prison project… am I crazy? As Rachel Maddow would say, “Talk me down!”</p>
<p>…um…since D will probably come home for the long columbus day weekend the previous week, we don’t plan to attend…but then we’ve been at the head of the line as Bad Parents for a long time anyway…</p>
<p>I agree. Especially if you travel a good distance, you want to see your S or D. Let them show you what they think is cool, what they’ve discovered. </p>
<p>Who needs a lecture?</p>
<p>I went through this with my oldest at another school. We skipped all the programs but saw the school from our D’s perspective. That’s the way to do it, IMO.</p>
<p>well, Stradmom, speaking of coming home for the weekend, last weekend I met FOUR of his classmates: they stayed over and slept sprawled on our sofas in the living room. I have a feeling having an apt in Manhattan is going to mean its a destination for more than my son for the next four years.</p>
<p>^^ I’m in!!!</p>
<p>We spoke to D yesterday. She asked on parents weekend for all of us to head out on a robust day hike in the area…there’s plenty to choose from.</p>
<p>I agree with JBH, we’re not looking for lectures. We want to spend the day with D and reconnect.</p>
<p>morvoren - sounds like an opportunity in a bad economy - maybe you could market to bard parents on day trips?! ;-)</p>
<p>that’s pretty funny stradmom!..oh well I registered, but just for saturday, and decided to look in at one class, cause it is a class my S is actually taking. But I love the idea of just asking my S to show me the campus from his point of view, take me through a day, etc. take me to places he loves… that seems really the best part. ANd fall leaves.</p>
<p>morvoren, I just found out D’s ushering job will keep her at school every weekend, so now I’m reconsidering going to parent’s weekend. She was home all summer and it’s awfully quiet without her. The milk keeps going bad before we finish it and there are way fewer towels on the floor!</p>
<p>first of all … how fabulous that she has an ushering job…would that my S was into doing something like that, unfortunately I think he is messing up a bit. On the other hand he has been home several times, including this weekend, and this time on friday night there were Six kids, not counting my son sleeping on the couches, even a couple sitting up…not so comfortable, eating a lot of our food, etc. And all kinds of kids, from Yemon, from San Diego, etc. etc, from a fabulous cellist to people in comp sci like my S. </p>
<p>I think I am only going up for the day of saturday, take the train in the morning and back in the evening, unless my husband who has been ill (probably one of the reasons my S is messing up, and is sleeping through a number of classes) feels strong enough to go. One of the great things tho is that my S told me us honestly all about the situation this weekend, and Bard is doing all kinds of things; he is meeting with four different people next week, from his house advisor, the dean, a therapist, even the president to make sure he gets straightened out; they know the situation, that my husband has serious cancer, and they are being very understanding, but we shall see. My S says he is getting things under control, but he often says that, and he actually loves three out of four of his classes and says they aren’t hard for him, but he has been sleeping through a few … a real problem.</p>
<p>Morvoren- I’m sorry both to hear about your son’s troubles and your husband’s health. It must have been so wonderful to hear how well your son was doing at first, and now to find things slipping, it’s sad. I’m happy to hear that Bard is paying attention and is intervening right away. That is one of the great things about a small school - that your kid is not anonymous - that there are actually people there looking out for him.</p>
<p>I know that my older son slept through a number of his morning classes over the years (at another college.) One of the things about college - particularly colleges with larger classes - is that attendance is not treated the same as it was in high school. Plenty of kids don’t show up all the time. At state schools they even have notes you can buy so you needn’t ever go to the lectures. When my older son studied abroad, many of the students never went to class at all. It was all about sitting for the exams at the end of the term. Small seminars at Bard aren’t going to be like that. His absence will be noted.</p>
<p>If possible, encourage your son to talk to the professors. They are nothing if not personable at Bard! And see if he can get involved with on campus activities so that his focus isn’t shifting back to home. Could he join a club, or one of the fun sports teams? Get started on a project for one of the classes that could consume him and get him motivated?</p>
<p>Anyway, know that unknown folks here on CC are rooting for you.</p>
<p>Thanks so much spiritmanager… well I think the thing that will keep him there, I hope, is that he loves Bard and has lots of friends, but he is not an extra currilcular activity kind of kid, never saw one he liked in his life except for computer stuff, so that isn’t going to work. But we shall see. He has a number of meetings set up this week. And he even likes three out of his four courses… so not exactly sure what the problem is, except he has a pattern of messing up and then straightening out, so we shall see.</p>
<p>morvoren - so sorry to hear of your husband’s health problems and your son’s freshmanitis. Hope both get cleared up soon!</p>
<p>Bard really is a place where the safety net is there for you, and the professors are fantastic. They’ve really helped my D come out of her shell, which can be a challenge for her, and when she missed a bunch of classes last spring (I’m still convinced it was swine flu), they were very accommodating.</p>