<p>I'm just curious. I'm starting an exchange to the US in a couple of weeks, meaning I already attend university here in the UK.
My parents left after unloading the car, and most other parents looked like they did the same thing.</p>
<p>When they deposited my older sister in 2007, she disappeared very suddenly with a flatmate. They didn't have much choice other than to go home!</p>
<p>My D’s college (small LAC) had a 5-day orientation for the freshmen. There were activities for the parents up until noon of the second day, at which point we were supposed to leave. I stayed longer, and wished I hadn’t.</p>
<p>@ LasMa - how much longer did you stay? Why did you stay? Why did you regret it?</p>
<p>D’s school had a convocation for parents, followed by a reception that was designated as the time for parents to say goodbye, with new student-only activities following. We left after that (around 5 pm). D’s school had a very scheduled/structured move-in day agenda, with activities for students & parents, some of which were combined and others separate.</p>
<p>My daughter’s school held both parent and student orientation sessions during move-in weekend. It was well-done, with sessions for both groups together as well as individually.</p>
<p>Students moved in on a Friday when ‘joint’ sessions were held. Saturday was reserved for parent-only sessions and then specific activities for the students (tours of the campus/city and other student areas, as well as meetings with the dorm staff). Saturday evening, they held a barbecue dinner for everyone and that was the time when parents were expected to say their goodbyes.</p>
<p>We did at that point, leaving our daughter around 8pm or so after the BBQ. Before returning to our hotel for the night we told our daughter we would not come by in the morning since we were leaving so early. I’ll admit - it was hard to say goodbye and the walk back to our hotel was a bit somber. About an hour or so after getting back to the hotel, though, I received a couple of texts from my daughter that were happy and showed she was settling in quickly…made me feel good.</p>
<p>We were able to drive away in the morning with smiles on our faces knowing we left her in a good place.</p>
<p>With DS1 in 2008, we spent the night before move-in in a hotel, moved in early in the morning, shopped for needed items that afternoon, attended a chapel service at 5, then a picnic dinner on the lawn and then all parents left.</p>
<p>Next week, we will spend the night before move-in in a hotel, have dinner at a favorite restaurant near campus, move in in the morning, shop for needed items that afternoon and then leave. </p>
<p>Both schools had/have student activities on the night of move-in. It’s pretty clear that this is the time to leave.</p>
<p>Both kids moved in a week early due to activities they were involved in or because living off campus so we weren’t with ALL the parents</p>
<p>S is 1.5 hrs away: Freshman - left after unloading to room and some unpacking, Sophomore - friends carried items up to room, took him to lunch and left. Junior - didn’t even help.</p>
<p>D is 5 hrs away: Freshman - spent the night before in a hotel, unloaded and unpacked, had lunch, went to hotel while she had responsibilities, met her for dinner and back to hotel. Met her for late breakfast and quick trips to lowes and walmart and then headed home.</p>
<p>Had D moved in during regular move-in it would have probably been arrive late on move-in day. Spend night. Meet her for breakfast, run errands, attend parent goodbye lunch provided by school and then head home.</p>
<p>So I think a lot depends on the kid, the location of the school, and activities for both kids and parents at the school.</p>
<p>Dropped D off a week early for band camp. Took her out to dinner after moving her stuff in to her dorm room because nothing on campus was open. Left her alone in an almost-deserted campus. I thought she would never make it through the night, as she was always afraid of the dark as a kid, but she did and has never looked back.</p>
<p>We’re a reasonable drive away. Each year we get there late-morning, drop things off, then do the WalMart run. Sometimes goodbyes are tender, other times, they just smile, wave and trot off. It’s bittersweet. Always reminds me of the first day of kindergarten.</p>
<p>There was a parent mini-orientation when we dropped each off before the freshman outing. We went for Parents’ Weekend when each were freshman, then played it by ear. </p>
<p>Hope you enjoy the exchange.</p>
<p>Both our kids schools made it reasonably clear when we were supposed to leave. CMU’s freshman orientation had something labeled something like “Goodbye dinner with your child” and made it clear that we were not welcome after that. Tufts had a convocation at which the president told all the students that they should give their parents a nice goodbye at the end of it.</p>
<p>We’ll be taking our S to college for the first time. While I don’t plan to intrude, isn’t it reasonable to think we would help S put his clothes away, hook up the TV and put sheets on the bed? I’m thinking we’re going to stay long enough to help S get the room in order and then leave.</p>
<p>Ds’s LAC had parent activities scheduled for the afternoon of move-in, but we left just as they were starting, about 3 p.m.</p>
<p>Miller, yep, we did those things. Arrived at about 8 a.m., dumped stuff in his room, went to the “fair” under the tent where they had snacks and freebies and you could ask questions of the Wellness Center, register to vote, etc. Went back to the room to put most things away (clothes, hung posters on the walls, built the octopus lamp) and then went to lunch in the dining hall. After that, we went to the Bookstore to look around and then back to his room to help get his laptop on the network and do other last-minute things. Then he walked us outside on his way to his first official event, and we were gone.</p>
<p>It really was MUCH easier than I thought it would be, physically and emotionally.</p>
<p>Miller we arrived at campus around 8:30 and for both kids the room was in reasonable order by lunch.</p>
<p>We moved Son back yesterday for sophomore year. Last year he was in the dorms, this year he is in a apartment. Both years went about the same.</p>
<p>We unloaded the car, then h helped hook up the wireless router, cables for tv, etc. I made the bed, etc. I left little stuff for S to put away so he would know where stuff was.</p>
<p>Yesterday, I also set up the bathroom and hung his clothes in the closet while they worked on putting a shelf together, hooked up the router, made the appropriate computer ‘tweeks’ for the different internet, etc.</p>
<p>We went for a nice lunch and to WalMart for supplies & groceries. After we put away the groceries, I made one last look around and we left. It was 4:00. We had a 3 hour drive home. We left about the same time last year. S’ school doesn’t have parent activities during move in. We have a Summer Welcome with parent activities. </p>
<p>Whatever you decide, have a plan. Everyone should have an idea how the day is going to go & approx time of departure. Otherwise, some can be caught off guard (mom or dad or student) when it’s suddenly time to go.</p>
<p>D#1 attended school half-way across the country. We flew in the night before, and got he moved in the next day. Stayed for the parents’ Convocation noon the next day … then left. That worked out great, as we purchased a number of items rather than bringing them from home.</p>
<p>D#2 was five hours away. Drove down the morning of the move-in. Stayed overnight in a local motel and left the next morning. Fewer things to purchase … and no Convocation.</p>
<p>I agree with prior posters: (1) Have a plan; (2) Leave before organized student activities begin; and (3) if there’s a Convocation, try to stay for that.</p>
<p>It’s interesting that so many schools seem to have multiple day events for parents. For S everything (move in, orientation, lunch etc) was all done in one day. At the end of the day we separated - kids to their orientation groups and parents to a reception at the President’s house. We didn’t see each other until 2 months later at Parent’s Weekend. This year as a sophomore he’s flying alone, taking the red eye across country. He’ll be picked up the next morning at the airport by the school’s shuttle and has most of his stuff in storage on campus.</p>
<p>It is our family tradition to be running behind for everything, so as usual we were doing last minute (or better called overtime) shopping with our daughter past the designated time when the college wanted parents out. But since we were shopping for her new cellphone she did not mind the delay in seeing us leave :)</p>
<p>Helped S carry everything up 5 floors on a 100 degree day <em>gasp</em>. I drove to a shopping plaza and picked up a few things he needed, plus some snacks and drinks. Helped him up with that, then left.</p>
<p>Some parents were helping their S’s unpack and put away everything, made their bed for them, etc. But he wanted to do that stuff, and I frankly didn’t. I had a several hour drive back, so that was it. I cried on the way home and got pulled over for speeding (but not a ticket).</p>
<p>I do a lot of prep before move in (packing, shopping, etc.) but always take my cue from my kids on how long to stay/how much to help on the actual move in day. I never felt it was necessary for me to put clothes away, etc…but then I don’t normally do that for them at home either! I just help carry everything up, maybe make a bookstore or grocery store run, take them to lunch/dinner if they want since dining halls aren’t usually open on move in day (which I’ve always found odd), and leave as soon as I’m done with my tasks. Once they have their own cars on campus, I don’t do the move in trip at all unless they ask me to. My youngest will be a freshman this year and is starting at a CC…it’s been wonderful not to have all the extra packing/shopping to do!</p>
<p>Public U’s often have a summer orientation/registration session with a parents program so all that is left on move in day is to haul and carry stuff, plus say goodbye. Dorms have meetings after dinnertime. We arrived late afternoon (son was finally ready to leave home in the afternoon) and had to make the 2 1/2 hour trip back. It is best if the student unpacks- they need to know what they brought and where they put it.</p>
<p>Hey- I also cried a bit (didn’t expect to- son and I weren’t getting along well and didn’t see much of each other in the same house) and was stopped for speeding son’s freshman year (We dropped off H’s car off for a warranty issue on the way and picked it up on the return trip in a town on the way so it was me alone in the car- another reason to return sooner). Only a few miles above the customary under 10 mph over the limit around here- got a warning. </p>
<p>Now son has graduated, found job in college town, has a car and just moved to an apt away from campus without our help. He may take more furniture from home now that he has more room than his past unfurnished apt.</p>