Parents Who Rat Out "Competitor" Applicants

<p>There's been an interesting discussion on the National Association for College Admission Counseling listserv this week about parents who send letters (usually unsigned) to admission offices to malign one of their child's classmates who is applying to the same school. One admission official reported getting a letter that included a story about a competitor candidate's bad behavior that turned out to be completely fabricated.</p>

<p>The admission officials who weighed in on this topic seemed to agree that anonymous "tips" are typically ignored, although there are sometimes situations that require a closer look. </p>

<p>Have CC parents heard stories about other parents doing such a thing? Have you done it yourself ... or considered it?</p>

<p>Not there yet, but it makes me want to tell my son -- and remind myself -- to play it very close to the vest next year. That's not my nature, but you never know. My son is not applying to Ivies; is that where many of the stories are coming from?</p>

<p>The NACAC listserv did not identify the admission officials who reported such letters. My best guess, however, is that they were NOT Ivies because the Ivy and "elite" folks (with just a couple notable exceptions) seem to post on the listserv only rarely. </p>

<p>However, a couple years ago when I was writing an article about students who aren't honest when answering the "Discipline and Suspension" question on applications, I was told by the dean at a top LAC that his school periodically received tattle-tale messages from parents with the hope that a front-runner candidate would be denied and their own child admitted instead.</p>

<p>I would not send a letter to a school about a classmate in order to give my child an advantage of getting into the same school, and I definitely would not submit a false report. However, I am seriously considering sending a letter to my alma mater about a classmate of my child's who is applying there because that individual has some serious character issues (that the HS is willing to keep under wraps) - and I would have NO problem putting my name on it....I wonder if admissions reps take such letters from alumni seriously.</p>

<p>Although I can't imagine doing it myself, I have no problem with others reporting fraud committed by others IF IT IS TRUE.</p>

<p>From what I gleaned from the listserv, signed letters are treated differently than the anonymous ones are, and your comments most likely will be taken seriously indeed. </p>

<p>If the "character issues" are those that might endanger the campus community, then you probably feel that it's important to speak out. However, if your child is also applying to your alma mater, I would tread carefully unless you foresee such danger. It's possible that your letter might cast aspersion on your own child among admission officials, even if it's on a subliminal level and even if your aim is genuinely to warn your alma mater about an undesirable student, not to advance your child's chances.</p>

<p>We sometimes see outraged students, more than parents, posting here on CC saying that they are aware of some classmate's cheating or lies and are wondering whether they should inform the colleges somehow.</p>

<p>As if they don't cheat.</p>

<p>I can't imagine any parent going after a child for anything short of convicted crimes.</p>

<p>No matter how tempting, if you cannot put your name at the bottom of a letter, you should not be sending it. (And I HAVE been tempted a times to do so regarding other issues, but have resisted the urge!) I would be disappointed to find out that the gatekeepers of academia were giving anonymous letters sent during application season any credence.</p>

<p>Just one more reason for kids to keep their target colleges secret! As far as "dropping a dime" on a student, it would have to be a pretty serious crime wouldn't it? The only other offenses I'd be concerned with would be academic -- rampant cheating, having someone take the SAT, etc. Even then I'd encourage the GC to do his/her duty to report it. JMHO.</p>

<p>If you KNOW a kid is committed to an ED school but is applying to an RD school anyway, I think it's good to rat on them. The facts will be checked out anyway.</p>

<p>This is kinda off topic, but here goes:</p>

<p>I'm against cheating. Yes, I am. But I'm not sure I'd rat a student out if he made VicePresident to President, or even got more help than usually considered okay on an essay. So -- he made a mistake.</p>

<p>I don't think he deserves to have his LIFE ruined for something like that.</p>

<p>I'm a sucker for second chances.</p>

<p>wow...that's so intense</p>

<p>I have a problem with the phrase "rat out." Many fine colleges have honor codes that speak of the need to not only police one's self, but also what to do when one witnesses illegal behavior. Are we saying, then, that such colleges are just full of rats?</p>

<p>I am the OP and I used the term "rat out" with some tongue-in-cheek intended. The listserv thread that launched this discussion focused on parents who were not trying to protect an honor code but who were trying to advance their own child's admission odds by making disparaging reports about other applicants.</p>

<p>Man, am I ever glad I am approaching old age, my kids safely ensconced in college, without ever having been exposed to parents slandering their children's classmates. Just imagining that exists darkens my world.</p>

<p>This is revolting. Get a life.</p>

<p>I'm absolutely confident that the Psycho Stalker Mom who's attacked my husband and caused hosts of other problems for our family, will do something like this if she ever finds out where mine is applying. We will be guarding that information like a state secret. (She has nothing on my kid, but will absolutely make something up based on past history)</p>

<p>I was highly tempted to do this, not to help my kid, but to assist one of my son's friends. He is funny, open-minded, musical, a talented writer, who did not have good high school grades, but got mostly A's in his first year of college thanks to ADHD diagnosis and treatment. </p>

<p>This kid was applying to transfer to my alma mater for sophomore year, and I thought he'd be one of the best ever students there. At the same time, the high school bully was applying to the same school, having left his first choice school mid-freshman-year. </p>

<p>The bully had better high school numbers: grades and test scores. I was asked to, and wrote a glowing letter of recommendation for my son's friend. I didn't write anything negative about the bully, but imagined doing it! </p>

<p>The result: the bully got in, my son's friend was wait-listed (he was later admitted, but at that point he had decided to go to another liberal arts college). </p>

<p>One year later: the bully was asked to leave my alma mater after his sophomore year; he had done little but drink and play video games. My son's friend is doing fine at his school; his lowest grade last semester was a B.</p>