(Parents won't help, any suggestions) what to do?

Parents Forum
1

<h2>Okay so hi. Well first i'm sorry if my story is sort of off or wrong forum wise. However thanks to those who read it and also try to help possibly.</h2>

<h2>Currently I am age 17 1/2 for your info.</h2>

<h2>I am trying to attend college for the first time ever and I have been thinking of what to do with my life for quite some time now as I was pulled out of high school at my sophomore year for very difficult family an other reasons. I was intended to be put into homeschooling, however that was not what quite happened. My parents that were suppose to homeschool me got a job not long after I was pulled out of school. I never got much farther than a month into homeschooling myself basically until I realized I can't really do it myself. In the end I never finished any type on schooling. Fast forwarding to now as I've only been through applying to jobs and working at one fast food place, I decided to go to college of course. An with that idea in mind i'd told my parents my idea and asked them if they'd help. (my parents and I don't get along anymore at all, very long story behind all that) </h2>

<h2>Before that I also figured i'd study and take the GED test so I have a way into College</h2>

<h2>Well I asked them and they said they'd help if they could, which I guess on that day they must of been in a really good mood cause that is not how it usually goes. However I took their word and began studying, researching, and signing up for the GED and the College. (2 year community college) After studying, registering all my parts for the GED and the College, as well as the college grants. (which were accepted and I do qualify for financial aid) I ask them about going down there as I have no car yet. That's when they turn on me as usual and refuse to help me in anyway with paying for college, giving me a ride to take my GED, or going to the college at all to check out about anything including the financial aid.</h2>

<h2>Now the College is 4 hours away from the place I live with them, it's also a off campus housing college, and I had already agreed that I was to get a job along with the financial aid to help pay for all the expenses, which were all calculated out that it could be afforded.</h2>

<h2>They however now will not let me to go to the college to take the GED, or to even check the financial aid office at the college to see if I can apply for more grant money. I'm pretty sure it's trust issues they have with me. (like said before long story behind parents an I not getting along)</h2>

<h2>Also I believe if I was to even remotely be prepared for this college which I am really wanting to apply to for this next semester, (begins January 1st) then I believe I need to at least have my GED taken now, also have my off campus housing set up along with having a job this by this month.</h2>

<h2>I was told by my parents if I wanted to go, I was to go find another place to live. (and not as quite jokingly caring as it sounds, just an idea without explaining the whole back story is that I had to go to doctors, therapy, and was going to be thrown in a mental hospital due to everything that was an still is going on) Hopefully that helps with why I also must leave this place.</h2>

<h2>I don't have many options I believe, or that I can see. This college is one I absolutely am set on going to and have already registered for everything except to attend next semester due to needing my GED. Which the GED as said before I registered to take at the College. (no specific date on that except this month)</h2>

<h2>Also since all the money handling was calculated out and off campus housing researched, I would be able to financialy live the next few months on pay check to pay check until the semester began. However the only problem being I can't afford the first months rent or deposit, and also would need them to co-sign for many things at the college and for off campus housing. (which they refuse)</h2>

<p>Hopefully I didn't miss any details, though I know I repeated many.
Not sure what to do though, my mind is stuck?
Thanks for anyone's help though it's greatly appreciated. </p>

2

<p>well, you’re under 18 and your parents didn’t make sure that you were educated, so I’d be tempted to turn them in for that. Very tempted. </p>

<p>Then, you need to get independent status since your parents were neglectful. Then you probably could get more aid. </p>

<p>Good luck, sweetie…you were dealt a bad hand.</p>

3

<p>Do you have any friends who would be willing to drive you to the GED? At least get that out of the way. Are there any relatives or friends you could live with while you save up the necessary funds to get started?</p>

<p>It’s obvious from your story that you cannot depend on your parents for anything. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by depending on them in any way. Have they filled out FAFSA for you? If not, that may be an issue. Definitely look into being declared independent. Maybe someone with experience on here can chime in on how to do that. </p>

<p>Your parents are sabotaging your success. They are either mentally ill, or they are very angry at you for some reason (possibly both). You may be better off without them in your life at all. Don’t ever expect them to change. And when you finally do get to college, head straight to counseling services and take advantage of whatever free sessions they have. Parents like yours can do real damage to your head in ways you may not even realize. Don’t feel guilty if you have to cut them off to save your sanity.</p>

4

<p>Because this student currently needs parent cooperation for FAFSA, etc, she really needs to get independent status before age 18. That’s why I suggested that she report them for not making sure that she got an education. </p>

<p>If she did that, she’d first have to find a place to live…friends, relatives, etc…to do that while the process went on.</p>

5

<p>Can you go to your old high school and meet with a counselor and ask for help? You are truant if you aren’t in school or being home schooled. You have a legal right to a Free and Appropriate high school education. You do not need to be pursuing a GED.</p>

<p>If you have described your situation accurately, you may be better off in Foster Care. Ask for help with the correct legal steps either at your old school, or at a free legal aid office.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

6

<p>If you no longer live near the HS you used to attend, go ask about this at the public high school you would be assigned to if you were in HS right now. And do what you can to get your parents a little visit with the Truancy Officer. Geeze. You should be in HS.</p>

7

<p>Thank you for the replies first off, my heads really been spinning about this. I don’t have any relatives or friends that live near the college as I really don’t know many people since I’ve been at home stuck for some time. However I was reminded that there is a bus that goes relatively close to the college from where I currently live, but it would cost me $100 out of pocket for round trip. I only have $300 in pocket left over after working and spending it on living expenses here. I was looking forward to that going towards a cheap apartment near the college as i quickly looked for a job to cover it all, however the 300 would only be able to cover the deposit and almost half of first months rent. (not to mention the other fees they throw in and utility bills if it’s not all included, and how i’d need my parents to co-sign for the apartment/off campus housing) I do know that if I was able to get a job that I could live pay check to pay check, and at least I could be able to take my GED and be within distance to the college. </p>

<p>-Just to mention this though- I did get the FAFSA filled out as I have access to quite a lot of their information from having to fill stuff out for myself, but at the time it was filled out was the exact day they where in their ‘good mood’. (which was a one in a million and I took great advantage of it) I was accepted for aid, however it was mentioned that they would still have things to help me pay for, and that I also needed to go to the colleges financial aid office to check if I can be allowed for more aid.</p>

<p>Also mentioned was getting out as an individual before 18?
I believe that would be a court order right, I don’t know if I have time for court before i can; take the GED, possibly get a job, and all the other things that come with it. Also that I think they’d consider me not financialy stable yet correct? I’m not 100% sure on any of that I just said though other than not having much time for it. It does not sound like a bad idea, but I don’t see the court or whomever seeing much further than to my parents. I just realized though this might of been mentioned for the FAFSA only though.
Thanks for the replies agian :)</p>

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<p>As much as I appreciate your view an thank you, I actually would not be able to re-attend the school since the age to be out is 18. Also I sort of view high school as going backwards and right now the GED (being almost quite equivalent to a diploma, though it may have it’s downsides) as moving forward to getting to attend this 2-year community college. Thank you for your opinion though. :)</p>

9

<p>You need to find a trusted adult to help you. This could be a relative, clergyman or some other adult who can help you.</p>

<p>This situation is far too complicated for an online message board.</p>

10

<p>I’m sorry if It doesn’t set well with you that I posted it on here. It’s sort of one of the only things I could think of to have contact with anyone at all though. I don’t have any relatives to turn to that would help me, and i’m not quite sure what else i’d have options in doing. That is why I mostly posted it on here. (ideas, help, maybe to find someone who’s in or been in a similar situation, or any contact with anyone at all) It’s all appreciated though to anyone who tries, and I completely understand where you are coming from saying so. Thank you and sorry again if it’s just inconvenient for you.</p>

11

<p>Actually…if you contact authorities and tell them that you’ve been kept out of school, then you will likely get placed in foster care and then you’ll immediately become independent…You won’t have to do anything…the system will do it for you.</p>

<p>I think you should go that route because once you’re 18, you’ll be stuck. You’d need your parents cooperation for FAFSA, and they’ll likely balk at that at some point. They probably want you to work to bring in more money for the household.</p>

<p>call your local high school, ask to speak to the principal, and tell him/her your story about having been kept out of school. They will call the right authorities to get the ball rolling.</p>

<p>If you decide to do this, then first QUIETLY gather up the things that you’ll want to take with you, so that won’t take a lot of time. Maybe set those things in a corner of your closet, so that they can be quickly boxed up and taken with you.</p>

12

<p>If it is far complicated due to me explaining in such detail, I do apologize for that as well. I can try listing things and that might help. I just happen to be a over-thinker and like to explain in detail.</p>

<p>List
·Age 17 1/2
·Not in any type of schooling
·Studied past months for GED
·Also worked for living expenses with my parents but currently only have $300 in pocket
·Registered to take GED at the college i’m already a few steps from ready to attend next semester
·Already skipped fall semester (currently going on for 4 more months including this month) to accomplish all that needs to be done to attend
·FAFSA filled out and accepted for financial aid, however need a way to the college that is 4 hours away from where i’m current living. In order to accept the aid and possibly qualify for more
·No car, no relative to drive me, no friends to drive me (only option I see is bus which would pull $100 out of me and i’d have to come back, or to somehow get my parents to help in anyway)
·If I can get a way to pay for rent and deposit today and a way there, I’d immediately look for a quick job that’d work with college and live pay check to pay check
·Would need parents to co-sign for the apartment/off campus living (they won’t even drive me there to look)</p>

<p>I don’t really know if that’s enough bullets to sum it up, but I did try. If anyone still reads this and has anything to say that could help, it’s very much appreciated. Any detail needed further just ask. I’m very much pushing this forward to start something with my life, and would like to go to the college. (by the way is a 2-year community college)</p>

13

<p>Music, hugs. This is a challenging situation which even someone much older than you would find daunting.</p>

<p>You are a minor, which means that even if you don’t have a friend or relative who can intervene, the legal system is set up to protect your rights (even if- or especially if- the person keeping you from getting an education is a parent or family member).</p>

<p>Your town or county will have a person who gets paid to make sure that you are in HS school until you graduate. If not a HS diploma, than a GED, Community College certificate, or comparable. You may need to call the local school board or even your local high school to find out the name of this person-- but once you have it, call that person and explain your situation.</p>

<p>There are grown ups who get paid to help kids in predicaments like yours. Don’t try to figure this out for yourself… the money gap is too big right now for you to even think of managing it by living paycheck to paycheck and still have time to do your schoolwork.</p>

<p>Hugs. Get the ball rolling with someone in your town/city/county who needs to know you’ve been kept out of school before too much time goes by… You don’t want to be playing catch up for longer than you need to.</p>

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<p>If I was placed in foster care though, wouldn’t I then have to wait until I did turn 18 to be independent. Therefore i’d be living with foster care parents, or most likely a relative which could easily be my “aunts or uncles, or grandparents” which all agree with my parents on basically everything? Even then so i’d be at a home stuck for the next a little over half a year until I turn 18. I really do see though where you are coming from, as i’d be 100% sure then i’d have a home to stay with food and such and authority saying i’d then “have to get help with education”. I just don’t see me being able to go to the college or doing really anything if all i’m doing is getting basically “new legal guardians” though for a said amount of months. Unless you mean all this just so I can have others sign an drive me?</p>

15

<p>Mom2collegekids has the most workable solution. Getting the authorities involved and being treated as independent for financial aid is your most viable option.</p>

<p>When someone said this was too complicated, they didn’t mean the way you explained it. They meant too complicated to resolve on this forum. I’m sure we are all glad to help, but a message board can only get you so far. You need actual help in the form of a trusted adult, social worker, former teacher, etc. Good luck to you!</p>

16

<p>I think you should join the military.</p>

<p>I know it sounds harsh, but for generations the army has been a way out for kids like you. You’d have income, housing, structure, a skill, and money for college at the end. I don’t know what would happen with the diploma issue, but I bet the army could help you solve it.</p>

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<p>First off, I’m really sorry for your situation. That’s really tough and unfortunate. Hopefully you’ll be able to live a different kind of life very, very soon. </p>

<p>However, I don’t feel that it’s up to you to “get out” of your situation. You’re 17, which is still legally a child. Like others have said, call the authorities to help. They’re the only ones who can help get you out of your home and into a foster family that will enable you to be independent and to most likely be able to get your GED soon. What state do you live in? Read your state’s laws on a child being traunt. I’m sure it’ll indicate that it’s considered neglect and that you’re entitled to be taken away. I know it’d be hard to do that to your parents, but sometimes we have to make difficult decisions. If you truly want to get an education, I think it’ll be the only way to do so while getting financial aid on your own at 17/18. </p>

<p>Also, with the facts you presented, I don’t think it’s the most prudent to get to your 4 hour away college by next semester. That’d be ideal and great, but with your tangle right now, that needs to take a back seat. What’s important is for you to get a GED and to get out of your situation so that you can file your FAFSA on your own. After this, you can apply to community colleges for next fall with very similar aid, I’d imagine. Are there any in your county or neighboring county? </p>

<p>You’d also be able to work a lot without having to give most of it to your parents. And once you turn 18, you can work as much as you want/can. I’m talking a day job during the week, babysitting at night, seasonal job on weekends, etc. Whatever you want or need to do you can more easily (and legally) do it. Then you’d have a lot more time to get an apartment by your school and figure things out. </p>

<p>Again, I’m really sorry. But from what I’ve gathered from the excellent advice posted so far, here are your options:</p>

<ol>
<li>Call the authorities and turn in your parents for not sending you to school, thus granting you independent status and enabling you to file your own FAFSA and get aid based in just your information. Get your GED. The FAFSA might cover the cost of your tuition at your school, but might not account for your living arrangements. If you wanted to go through with the school, you’d need to somehow work a ton of hours to pay for an apartment, but if you’re still 17 and need a COSIGNER and have no one willing or able to do so, you might be out of luck. </li>
</ol>

<p>2.) Turn in your parents and file your FAFSA in January for the next school year. Get your GED. You’ll get aid on your own and it’ll give you more time to make money and figure things out (like 8 months for time, which is crucial and game for making money). Plus you’ll be a legal adult and can probably handle more things without a cosigner. Also look into schools that are closer to your area or that are less expensive.</p>

<p>3.) Do nothing and continue the circle that you live. Work for your parents who denied you an education, never pursue your own dreams, and probably end up working at working class jobs for a long time trying to make ends meet. You could maybe still get your GED and see if your parents will change their minds about college in a year or two, but from what you’ve posted, that’s unlikely. </p>

<p>Basically, that’s all that I can see happening. Again, you’re 17, so see an adult and preferably someone in law enforcement. What thumper said is true: this is too complicated to be online. We can’t directly help you since we don’t know your name or exactly what’s happening. You can read all the suggestions and then determine what to do, but that’s all you can hope for on here. I know you’re looking for a solution, but that will come when you talk to an adult in person. </p>

<p>Good luck. I hope everything gets better for you.</p>

18

<p>If you are declared independent before 18, that’s how you can get the financial aid you need for college.</p>

<p>If you have taken the GED by then and have plans to go to college, a guardian might be appointed to keep track of you, but I doubt anyone would make you wait till 18 to go to college. But please call your local child protection agency for solid advice. I’m just guessing.</p>

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<p>Hugs blossom, an thanks for the understanding. To both you and mom2collegekids I do need to already visit the local high school to have my GED testing 100% approved. I would be willing to explain my situation to them, i’m just not all sure on what their options that they’d provide me with would be something I could handle or if I get any to myself at all. I do want to become independent as yes you all see (glad you can) that I will not receive parents help. I didn’t know there where people that are paid to help people in situations like me other than counseling. I will definitely look into my options when I visit the local high school, however re-attending that school such as hs is I believe not much of an option.
Thank you very much though for that help, i’ll definitely look into my options with that. I’m just not sure if I do take that route that i’d be able to still possibly attend the college? I did see blossom mentioned they’d help with my GED and community college but i’ll have to see I guess if I have much of a choice on how that’d happen.
Thank you very much again :)</p>

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<p>I read the other posts after I posted mine, and I’ll add that I know you’re antsy to get away and do what you want (get out of your life of sitting at home by attending your preferred college by January), but that might not work out exactly how you’d like. College planning takes time and, more importantly money. You need to be wise and prudent on how to best manage both of these. That’s why an adult or police officer can help you. That’s their job - to make sure you can get on your feet (living wise and educationally wise). You’ve done enough already. Now get the professional help you deserve.</p>