<p>Getting pregnant can be an “accident”, but having and raising a child is a choice. </p>
<p>OP, when you start college, you’ll presumably be 18 and able to make your own choices. Choices are often difficult and that’s what being an adult is. You can either be grateful for the help that your parents are willing to provide OR you can do your own thing. After 18, they can no longer control you and you are free to go where you wish- it just will not be easy since you won’t be able to afford it right away and without merit aid but that is YOUR choice to make.</p>
<p>“Getting pregnant can be an “accident”, but having and raising a child is a choice.”</p>
<p>I can only speak for myself here, but is it possible that not every situation is that way? I think it’s possible that not every parent can choose paying for the college their child might choose at the same time they choose to give birth and/or raise their child. </p>
<p>Anyway, that’s for another thread and another forum, and I hope the children of cc will get it right.</p>
<p>Skuxx - If your parents real concern is the money…It might be helpful to enlist the assistance of your guidance counselor. Ask for a meeting with your counselor to see if they will help you identify schools that are likely to offer merit scholarships to someone with your academic acheivements. If your grades are strong it is very possible that you will earn very good scholarship money and the “expensive” school’s tuition suddenly looks more like a state school. The key word here is merit based aid, you need to find schools that give it out (instead of just need based aid). (Check out Truman State) Also, look for schools that offer free applications (ie: Marquette). Is it possible to get your parents to do some campus visits? Perhaps if they attend a financial aid info session at one of those visits it will ease their worries. </p>
<p>If your parents have concerns about money, another strategy is to go to the local school and then transfer later to the college of your choice. It will be important to get the best grades that you can even if attending the local school was not your first choice. That buys you some time to persuade your parents that you are serious about where you want to attend and maybe they will see the light. And the good grades will assist you in transfering to a more competitive program. If you have a specific school in mind that you want to transfer to, you can find out which classes will receive credit when you transfer. That way you don’t waste any time or money on classes that won’t count. Many students that go to community colleges can excel and successfully transfer to the program at their school of choice, saving a bundle of money and still getting the degree they need from the institution they want. Also, if you find yourself in this position use the advisors at the school to help you plan the best strategy for ulitmate entry into medical school. Establish a rapport with professors wherever you attend. They will provide you with research opportunities and letters of recommendation. Perhaps there is an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) club on the campus where you can get free training and experience in the field or volunteer with a local emergency squad or at the American Red Cross.</p>
<p>Perhaps your parents have some other concern besides money, getting angry at them (even if warranted) will be counterproductive. You need to find a mature way to convince them that you have a specific plan and that you are attempting a specific outcome (in your case med school) and find a way to figure out what their real objections are. Maybe if you speak with them separately it will be helpful? Do you have any other family member or family friend that can try to help you advocate your case? Remember how important it is to be mature, thoughtful, and calm. </p>
<p>Lastly, you are in a non-enviable position. But you are not the only person that has had to face this obstacle. You are doing the right thing by reaching out for support. I encourage you to reach out to a teacher or other adult that might know your family and can give you some assistance in facing this predicament. Don’t give up on your dream, you may have to take a longer or more difficult road but one day…a step at a time…you will see it come true.</p>
<p>You can’t borrow much, so that option is not possible. YOU can only borrow the following amounts.</p>
<p>frosh 5500
soph 6500
jr 7500
sr 7500</p>
<p>Your parents don’t make a lot of money for living in Calif, so they are probably concerned about cost as well. Look into the Blue and Gold promise for UCs and if you qualify, then you get your tuition for free. </p>
<p>If you qualify, then your parents may agree to let you apply to more UCs.</p>
<p>You do need to make some kind of deal with your folks…that you’ll apply to UC Davis and Sac St, but in case you don’t get into UCD, then you need to have a back up for pre-med. You’re right that the CSUs don’t have as good of a track record for pre-med, so your parents need to understand that.</p>
<p>If you make a compromise such as: let me also apply to UCMerced, but if I get into UCD, I’ll go there.</p>
<p>I think not only you should have some backup schools, but also backup majors. lots of kids think they can be pre-med but in reality most of the pre-meds hopes are dashed in the first year of college. You need a backup school as diversify as UCD, I’d say anything below UCSD is game for you.</p>
<p>I would ask what have you done to contribute to your college costs? </p>
<p>I am also in the position of not being able to contribute much to my kids’ college educations. Although I do pay thier health, dental, rx & auto ins, thier cell phone bills and give them free room & board when they are home (which by the way is more than my parents did for me).</p>
<p>They both worked hard and stayed focused while in high school to maintain high gpa’s and ACT’s in order to get merit scholarships from thier schools. They have departmental scholarships and have both been in marching bands and pep bands for the money and have jumped on any opprotunity their colleges offer for more money. Plus they both work 40 hours a week over the summers and earn the money to make up the shortfall. They are both at sleep-away state schools.</p>
<p>Before you even think about applying somewhere else, talk to your school counselor and find out where students with your stats have been accepted in the CSU and UC system. Your stats look a little low to me for Davis–is that your UC GPA? Unless your UC GPA is much higher, I would save my money and not apply to San Diego State, which is a difficult admit from OOS. </p>
<p>Have the money talk with your parents about what their expectations are for what they’ll pay for. Will they cover all tuition and fees for Davis or Sac State for four years? Five, if you can’t get the classes you need? Will they be paying for books and food? Will they be giving you pocket money, or do they expect you to earn that yourself? </p>
<p>I like mom2collegekids’ suggestion of a deal with your parents, where they agree to UC Merced or Riverside if you don’t get in to Davis. That’s assuming that they are able to afford the cost. Propose that you’ll take on a summer job, possibly work part-time, and take out a Stafford loan to help pull your weight. Be a grown-up about this. </p>
<p>If possible, try taking the SAT again and do some prep work. I believe there’s time before the UC/CSU application cutoff. Take a look at the UC Statfinder to get a sense of what you’ll need to raise your admissions chances at Davis.</p>
<p>It sounds like this student will qualify for Blue and Gold and maybe the parents don’t know that. If so, then they may fear a $30k per year bill at a sleep-away UC. Their income isn’t high, and the room and board costs for UCs is really high…so it’s understandable that they would not want to pay $13k or so per year for R&B in addition to tuition (fees). </p>
<p>If the student can show that they qualify for Blue and Gold, then that may change their reluctance to let him apply to other UCs. UCR is a possibility but it is many hours away. UCMerced and UC Santa Cruz are much closer to Sacramento area. However, I opt for UC Merced because I think this student would get more individual attention there, and (I think) the UCs are considering putting a med school there.</p>
<p>look at this link and see if your family qualifies for B&G. If so, then show your parents. </p>
<p>*I would ask what have you done to contribute to your college costs? *</p>
<p>I don’t think the parents will let him have a job. </p>
<p>If this all about over-controlling parents, then perhaps thinking about the military wouldn’t be such a bad idea. The parents might fold like cheap tents if they realized that they would lose absolutely all control and influence if their child enlisted.</p>
<p>C’mon parents, I’m sure my kids have called me much worse behind my back and I’m sure you have as well. I know I had choice names for my parents. </p>
<p>But OP, the advice is correct. Your parents hold the money and they can call the shots if you want their money. If you don’t want to pay by their rules, you’ll need to leave home and figure out yourself how to get a higher education. Don’t just lame your parents, you determined your choices as well. My S, with similar scores wanted to go out of state, but had to stay in-state as his chance at merit aid was limited and he needed our money. My D, with much higher stats and a NMS, had lots of options and a choice in schools throughout the country as she could pay for it herself and didn’t need us.</p>
<p>As a parent, I think your parents are being unreasonable.</p>
<p>You have agreed to go to a state university. To make you only go close to home is not reasonable. Nor should you be required to live at home.</p>
<p>However, if they really don’t have the money, that’s a different story. You should remember that even if you had a full scholarship to the schools you want to go to, room and board would surely be $600-$700 a month. If they are just scraping by at the moment, then this is a lot of money. </p>
<p>Perhaps if you explain to them that you have a better chance of getting into medical school from the schools you want to go to, they will then see that they are being penny wise and pound foolish.</p>
<p>I think the suggestion to do the military might be a good idea, but not by putting off going to college, but rather, doing ROTC. But I realize that is a big step, and is not for everyone.</p>
<p>Try and get them to at least let you APPLY to those schools. You don’t necessarily have to wind up going there. That should buy you some time. Or borrow the application fees from someone, if possible.</p>
<p>Oops, I didn’t mean OOS, I meant from out of the San Diego service area. Best check, as always, is with the school GC to see how applicants from that high school fared in the previous admissions cycle.</p>
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<p>Maybe more individual attention, but it’s going to be a long, long time before a med school would open in Merced, if ever.</p>
<p>*I opt for UC Merced because I think this student would get more individual attention there, and (I think) the UCs are considering putting a med school there.</p>
<p>========================
Maybe more individual attention, but it’s going to be a long, long time before a med school would open in Merced, if ever. *</p>
<p>I was concerned about that, but with only 4,000 undergrads, this UC could be more like a private in attention. Much better than trying to be pre-med at Davis where many pre-meds will have much stronger stats. </p>
<p>I think at Davis (with 25k undergrads) or at Sac St (with 23k undergrads) this student’s chances for successful pre-med are low since stats are modest for a pre-med student.</p>
<p>With a lot of dedication and effort on the student’s part, a small school like UC Merced could help this student overcome any K-12 inadequacies. If his parents really want him to be pre-med then they need to consider having him go where his chances for success would be greater as long as money isn’t a big obstacle.</p>
<p>How many times have CA posters and those familiar with CA prices said that this is not a lot of money for that region? Heck, this wouldn’t be a lot of money in my area either and housing prices are extremely reasonable here…lots of parents around here object to paying an extra $8-10K/year for room and board and our state tuition rates are pretty low.</p>
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<p>As others have said, a college degree is really not something you’re entitled to and there are many parents who won’t, or can’t, contribute a dime. You’re lucky that your parents ARE willing to finance your education, albeit within their comfort zone. Do you realize what a gift that is? </p>
<p>Perhaps it will help to put your feelings in perspective if you understand what your parents may have been hearing/reading in the news so here are some snippets of what I’ve read/heard in the few months, in no particular order: Nationally, only 43% of students leave home for college. Many recent college grads are unemployed or seriously underemployed and many have had to move back in with their parents. College costs have risen at a rate four times higher than the inflation rate over the last three decades and a recent poll revealed that 75% of parents felt that college was unaffordable for their families. US student loan debt is at $948B and counting (finaid.org actually has a debt clock on their site now) and is now larger than total credit card/revolving debt. Over 40% of borrowers either become delinquent at some point or default on their student loans entirely, which impacts their ability to borrow at reasonable rates for homes, cars, and other necessities.</p>
<p>I sincerely wish you the best of luck with your plan to fully fund your kids’ educations at whatever schools they decide on. Just remember that the price of doing so is doubling roughly every 10 years and the little buggers will undoubtedly want to be fed, clothed, and sheltered in the meantime and the government will want their “fair share” of every dime you earn too. Oh, and don’t forget that you’ll also need something to live on in retirement.</p>
<p>As I have mentioned before, my parents have the financial capacity to pay for tuition and for room and board, its just that they don’t want to. I know this because I have filled out my parents tax forms for the past 3 years and they are doing pretty well financially. And some of you point out that California is super expensive well that may be true for Southern California, its nearly the opposite in Sacramento where I live. My parents own two homes, one a rental and one where we live in and the first was brought for 80k in 1996 and the current for 250k 2 years ago and they pay only 700 a month in mortgage payments. So finances aren’t the problem, its the fact that they do not want me to leave the nest even if it means putting my hopes for the future at risk. And I am not one of those kids who just pops up with an idea to become a doctor out of nowhere and then goes to discover in college that its just not for me, I have shadowed 4 doctors and I know what I am signing up for.</p>
<p>Your parents only have the money to fund your education IF THE CHOOSE TO DO SO…and it sounds like they have put some criteria on your college search that relates to their finances. This is their business as they are earning the money.</p>
<p>I know you find this disappointing…but there ARE options. Could you live at home and commute to a community college with the understanding that the money saved could be used to fund your final two years at one of tne UCs? Try to think of ways to compromise on the financial end of things with your parents. Work WITH them. </p>
<p>You have done their taxes, but do you also do all of their monthly budgeting? It may be that cash flow isn’t as good as you think it is. Or it may be that your parents are worried about finances while you are at college.</p>
<p>Regardless of their reasons…maybe it IS because they just want you to stay at home…they have made a decision. Try to work WITH them on this…instead of at cross purposes.</p>