Parents

Pre-College Topics High School Life
1

<p>I've observed that in all of this college admissions hysteria, I have been less pushed by my parents towards certain colleges or tiers of colleges than my friends and those I've noticed on this forum have been. College was never put in front of me as a "carrot" in high school, nor did my parents ever use not getting into college as a "stick." I never really thought about where I'd end up until the end of junior year, when I had to start deciding where to apply. Throughout high school, I was always in the mindset of the experience itself rather than what it would do for me in the future.</p>

<p>This is in stark contrast to the many here who say that they have been dreaming of a specific college since childhood, those who are on this forum as freshmen (or even earlier!), and even some of my HS freshman and sophomore friends who are already looking at some of the best years of life, high school, as a mere stepping stone towards college.</p>

<p>I've attributed my difference in experiences from others' with my parents' relative detachment from the college admissions process. This comes primarily from two sources:
1) Age - My parents are somewhat old compared to other parents of students my age. When I was born, my father was 42 and my mother was 38. They'd both lived their lives before even considering having children. They were long free from the umbilical cord of their respective colleges as both had lived continents away from where they went to school, held many jobs that didn't stem directly from their college experiences, and had enough experiences to displace the experiences of college by the time they met.
2) Alma Mater - Neither of my parents was subjected to the competitive American college admissions process. For my mother, who went to University of Maryland, this was partially a consequence of, once again, her age and partially due to the relative non-competitiveness of that particular school's admissions. She was an in-state student and that school, only 10 minutes from her home, was simply where people from her high school ended up in those days. My father grew up in Israel and went to the Technion. While competitive, admission to this school was not similar to the system in America, especially since my father had attended a feeder engineering high school prior. </p>

<p>I am curious as to others' experiences with the pressure to go to a good college as it relates to their parents' backgrounds. </p>

<p>Where did your parents go to school?<br>
How old were they when you were born?<br>
To which schools are you applying/did you apply?</p>

<p>In short, my answers:
Where did your parents go to school? Mom: U of Maryland, Dad: Technion
How old were they when you were born? Mom: 38, Dad: 42
To which schools are you applying/did you apply? Applied to several non-HYP ivies, other top 20 schools, attending Duke.</p>

<p>Thanks for putting up with my tl;dr post. I can't wait to hear your input!</p>

2

<p>Sure, why not? Frankly I wasn’t really pressured that much because my parents don’t know very much about colleges in the U.S.</p>

<ul>
<li>My dad started college in Hong Kong but never finished. My mom never went to college. I don’t think she even finished high school. They were both from Hong Kong and didn’t move to the U.S. until a bit before I was born.</li>
<li>I don’t know the exact age of my parents, but I think they were around 40.</li>
<li>I applied to UChicago, Swarthmore, Reed, Carleton, Grinnell, Wash U-St. Louis, Univ. of Washington, and Macalester. I got into all of them except Wash U (which I really didn’t want to go to that much anyway).</li>
</ul>

<p>What is the point of this again?</p>

3

<p>I think it’s to get a sense of why parents push their kids regarding colleges.</p>

<p>I probably hit the jackpot here:</p>

<p>Three immediate relatives, four degrees, three different Ivy League schools. Family was not completely in love with their alma maters for various reasons, and sincerely felt that the best way to choose a college was to choose one for what it was, not what it claimed to be by way of ranks.</p>

<p>I only ended up applying to one school (Chicago). Would have applied to another if the other school (Reed) wasn’t deemed “too far” by my parents.</p>

4

<p>-My parents went to college in China, then grad school at BYU and Utah State. They both got into better schools on PhD programs (NYU), but chose to work instead to secure their ability to stay in the states.
-They were in their mid-to-late 30s.
-I applied a few ivies as well as Chicago, Northwestern, MIT, Stanford (at my father’s request), UCLA, NYU. I’m going to Northwestern.</p>

5

<p>–My mom went to school at Southeast Missouri State University (SEMO). My dad never went to college.
–They were in their mid thirties when I was born.
–I’m applying to Webster University, Lindenwood University, Drury University, Greenville College, Columbia College, Westminster College, MacMurray, Southern Illinois University in Edwardsville, and Central Methodist University.</p>

<p>My mom has mentioned several times that I should seriously check out SEMO. However, every visit I’ve made there has just seemed off. It’s a nice campus and everything, but I just don’t feel right there. I may apply there to make her happy, but I have plenty of other schools I’ll go to before I resort to SEMO.</p>

6

<p>my parents both went to college in India. Which is highly competitive, but they still are trying to pressure me into applying to Georgia Tech since it’s close to home and its an engineering school…</p>

<p>mainly, my pressure has been to getting into either engineering or medicine… I don’t know if I’m gonna go into those fields, nor will I let them make that decision for me… I think it’s because my parents are slightly obsessed with prestige, and “honor”( and probably high salaries rank high on their priorities). I’m not concerned about money, or prestige..I just want to go to a school I like, and have a career I admire constantly, whether it’s what my parents want or not.</p>

7

<p>Where did your parents go to school? No college
How old were they when you were born? Mom: 30, Dad: 36
To which schools are you applying/did you apply? MIT, Bentley, Babson, Northeastern</p>

8

<p>My parents immigrated from China, no post HS education. Both worked in restaurant field. They never pushed me to a specific college because they only knew that “college” was important – but were (and are) pretty ignorant of the “prestige” and “name” colleges. </p>

<p>Through peers’ nudging at my very accomplished HS in the Midwest, I applied to two Ivies and several top engineering programs. I ended up matriculating at one of the HYPs. In the Chinese community, this holds great prestige but my parents weren’t caught up in it (although they recently acknowledged others were jealous of them).</p>

<p>Now that I’m a holder of an HYP diploma – what will I do with my own kids? Frankly, I’m not gonna push them with any preconceived notions. Because of my familiarity w/college admissions and my working at several colleges, I feel I’m set up well to offer them advice on what bloc of colleges may fit them. But will I push them to a certain “prestige” college? I have my loyalties to my own alma mater (which is pretty feverish!), and of course, will make my pitch. But that’s it. I want them to do what fits them best and helps them mature as great citizens – not so a certain name can appear on their diploma.</p>

9

<ol>
<li>Neither of my parents ever went to college.</li>
<li>Mom was 27 and Dad was mid 30s.</li>
<li>WashU ED maybe Notre Dame RD if I don’t get in at WashU (I doubt I’d get in at ND if I didn’t at WashU) Those may be the only top universities I apply to.</li>
</ol>

10

<p>Where did your parents go to school?
My mom went to University of Maryland (lol), my father didn’t even finish H.S., because he entered the work force very early on in his life.
How old were they when you were born?
My mom was 38, my dad 28.
To which schools are you applying/did you apply?
I applied to two schools in New York, BC, three top LACs, and three Ivy League schools.</p>