<p>Does anyone know of a "parentship" for parents who raised a wonderful kid thought by top universities? We are middle class and will get some financial aid (so far the best offer from an highly selective U would have us pay $26,000 while S would have to make $5,000 from work). He is applying for scholarships, which may help him. But his parents will need to make sacrifices and borrow! Don't parents deserve some financial reward for helping their child to grow healthy, well-mannered, good-natured, educated, bilingual, artistic, etc. etc. ?
Okay, I know, this is a rhetorical question :) I'm just in need of some sympathy.</p>
<p>Did they not research costs before they applied? There are 100’s of schools where he could have attended for a LOT less than $26,000–before financial aid. I’m surprised your net cost is so much considering you qualified for financial aid. I guess if I were in that situation I would have applied to several of the ‘meets need’ schools or those with automatic merit for better students.</p>
<p>LOL yolochka! Great concept. Every parent here at CC certainly deserves a “parentship”! If I got one, I think I’d use it to go to the beach for a long weekend.</p>
<p>SteveMA, I guess we love our wonderful kid so much that we are willing to make the sacrifices if he chooses to go to a school of his dream. He has worked hard and taken the most challenging courses possible and earned a lot of college credit while in high school. He applied only to schools that have the best programs in the subject he loves the most, and he is already accepted by 3 of them. He is willing to choose the cheapest option, and the other 3 we are waiting from could be less money for us. So there is still hope! But we definitely are not going to tell him to go to our state school, even though it’s a pretty good school. The problem is he is already dual-enrolled in PhD level courses in his favorite subject at this university.</p>
<p>Yes, happymamof1, I would go for a long weekend on the beach!</p>
<p>I think the point of this thread was to let us all know that he is in high school but already dual-enrolled in PhD level courses in his favorite subject. Yeah, yeah, congrats. (Glad I have normal-bright kids.)</p>
<p>You got it pizzagirl! 
LOL</p>
<p>you want a reward for doing what you are supposed to do… </p>
<p>and people wonder why kids growing up now seem entitled. Where do they learn it from?</p>
<p>Pizzagirl - :D</p>
<p>soccerguy315 - You are correct. Many kids now seem entitled, but there are many humble, generous, and wonderful kids, too.</p>
<p>yolochka - Wishing your student all the best. Our middle class kid is at a college we can afford without taking on debt. We won’t have any vacations, however, until this last kid graduates. We don’t expect ‘Parentship’, but we are proud of the children we raised. And for us, that is enough.</p>
<p>happymomof1 - See you at the beach in 2015!</p>
<p>Tough crowd… maybe some have certain items of clothing that were washed in hot water and shouldn’t have been?</p>
<p>yolochka, congrats, and yes, parentships would be lovely! Speaking of entitled, as someone did, it occurs to me that the idea that a child is entitled to a parent-paid college education and that is “what you are supposed to do…” as a parent… well, I have to wonder where such societal pressures and the notion of "what you are supposed to do… " comes from. Maybe people just assuming that children are entitled to such an education…? But then, why do they then blame kids for feeling a sense of entitlement? </p>
<p>Don’t know; I awoke early and haven’t had my coffee yet, so please forgive my likely nonsensical ruminations. </p>
<p>In any case, congrats to your son for his achievements, and if I hear of a parentship, I’ll let you know! And I’m totally with you and happymomof1: to the beach!! I’ll pack sandwiches for the ride!!</p>
<p>
You got your parentship already, 50% off, some of us didn’t even get that.</p>
<p>In all seriousness, aren’t there tax credit programs that do provide some support to parents paying for college? Would that not be what you are asking for?</p>
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</p>
<p>Yolo,</p>
<p>First of all congrats as it looks as if your son already has some wonderful choices.</p>
<p>College is considered a social and moral obligation with the line starting at your house as far as who pays for your wonderful, well mannered, educated, good natured child to attend. There is a big difference between "wants’ and “needs”. While you may “want” a certain caliber school for your child, you “needed” to sit down with him to make sure that you have a couple of financially feasible options in the mix.</p>
<p>Since You Only Live Once and you will never see a brinks truck following a hearse, hopefully you will not consider your “sacrifice” a burden, but something you are willing to and will gladly to for the education that you and your child believe that he should have.</p>
<p>If you will receive some financial aid, you are in partnership; with other people’s parents, whose generosity has so graciously allowed your child to receive need based aid by contributing to the endowments.</p>
<p>[In all seriousness, aren’t there tax credit programs that do provide some support to parents paying for college? Would that not be what you are asking for?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yes but not everyone qualifies for those programs.</p>
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<p>I won’t try to speak for others, but I got the idea (and note, I have added some qualifications to the original phrasing) that parents who can do so should provide an appropriate parent-paid college education to children who are doing their work well and making appropriate academic progress from my own parents. </p>
<p>I confess, I often didn’t make good use of the money they spent on me; my embarrassment about that has outlived my parents. But I feel fortunate that my wife and I can pay it forward by doing essentially the same thing for our kids.</p>
<p>I recognize that not everyone enjoys the financial means to do this, that not everyone was fortunate enough to have parents who could and would foot the bill for (in my case, fancy and expensive) college, and that not everyone will feel as I do. That’s OK with me. I simply want to chime in to say that I don’t think feeling this way is necessarily nuts.</p>
<p>I think of my “parentship” as grandchildren I am STILL waiting on.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>Just checked again, no grandbabies yet.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>lol, Kat!</p>
<p>
I don’t think feeling that way is nuts, either. My early posts here make it exceedingly clear that I feel it is my responsibility to provide a post-secondary education for my son, and in his case, because of the type of kid he is, that means college. </p>
<p>(College isn’t for everyone, and frankly, I think our society puts way too much emphasis on it at the expense of other opportunities that would be better for many kids; a kid shouldn’t feel that college is the only avenue and our society shouldn’t be insisting it is. Some kids just don’t belong in college, or don’t belong in college right after high school. And my HVAC guy – no degree – takes MUCH better vacations than I – degree – do. But I digress.)</p>
<p>I do think it was kind of silly to bring it up in what is clearly supposed to be a light-hearted venting about the cost of college. </p>
<p>College is expensive! I think it’s okay for the OP to vent a bit about that! (And yes, to brag on the kid in question, too, without getting snarky comments.) College costs have risen faster than just about anything except perhaps the cost of medical care; certainly my salary has not kept pace from son’s birth to this, his final semester in college, with the rise in college costs. And yes of COURSE there are ways to lower the cost, including picking other schools, and paying for college is the family’s responsibility, blah blah blah, etc. and so on.</p>
<p>But for pity’s sake, let a parent go ahead and vent about it in a light-hearted manner!! The OP just wants some sympathy from others also shelling out lots o’ dough (however cheerfully!) for college!!</p>
<p>Big thanks everybody!
I just want to add that I feel entitled to get $1000 from every poster to this thread I’ll let you know where to send it after May 1!
Have a great Sunday afternoon!</p>
<p>: falls over laughing!! :</p>
<p>I can’t think why a HS kid who’s doing PhD level work can’t get a full ride somewhere. Am I missing something here? I know Ivies don’t give out merit, but the rest do. And many of the schools that do are no joke either; namely, Duke, Emory, Vandy etc. If you go down the totem pole, there are even more schools than I ever know. BTW, I personally know HS kids doing HS level work and got full ride at Duke, Tulsa, Emory etc.</p>